It can be hard to find that special someone. Fortunately, history is here to help. Whether you are looking for “the one” or want to become a real Casanova, these dating tips are guaranteed to help you out. (Disclaimer: Not actually a guarantee.)

10 Use A Fan For Subtle Flirting

Fans have been around for thousands of years but became a hot fashion accessory in 18th-century Europe. Ever resourceful, women realized that the fan could be used for more than just appearances, and soon enough, they started using a secret “fan language” to flirt with their male admirers.

While you might think that using a fan to communicate would be rather limited, there were actually over 30 messages that women could convey to the men fortunate enough to learn this “language.” For example, hiding the eyes behind an open fan simply said, “I love you.” Carrying the open fan in the left hand expressed a desire to talk while twirling the fan in the left hand warned the man that they were being watched.

9 Find A Partner At The Marriage Market

In the Histories, Herodotus writes of an ancient custom in Babylonian villages which ensured that everyone found a partner, including the poorest men and the ugliest women. They went to the marriage market, where men would bid for their new wives.

It started off as a regular auction. The best-looking women would go first, as they got the highest bids, meaning that they typically married the wealthiest men. Things switched when the auction got to the women who were considered ugly, crippled, or too old. The auctioneer would pay participants to take them as wives. Each bid got lower, and the winner was the man who accepted the lowest bid. The money was paid from the profits from auctioning off the beautiful girls. This way, every woman found a husband, and the poorer couples also gained a dowry.

The market was open to all, even people from other villages. Fathers weren’t allowed to marry their daughters to the people they wanted, and bidders had to provide a backer who would guarantee their intention to marry. In case things didn’t work out, every sale came with a money-back guarantee.

8 Share A Secret Language

Privacy has always been an issue for new lovers. In the olden days, it was even harder for lovebirds to evade the watchful eyes of their parents, who were always there to make sure no funny business was going on prior to marriage. A clever way to continue saying sweet nothings to each other, even with the parents in the room, was to learn Morse code.

This tip comes courtesy of Thomas Edison, who employed this strategy to woo his second wife, Mina Miller. The couple met soon after the death of Edison’s first wife, Mary. Mina’s father, Lewis Miller, was also a renowned inventor. He developed the first front-mounted combine harvester.

Even though Mina was 20 years old when her relationship with Thomas began, and Edison was 39, the two were still wary of public displays of affection around her parents. That’s why Edison taught her Morse code, and according to him, he also proposed to her using Morse code.

7 Don’t Get Drunk In Front Of The In-Laws

Impressing the parents of your beloved might not be that important nowadays, but it used to be vital, since historically, the bride needed her father’s permission to marry. That being said, a good suggestion might be to not make a drunken fool of yourself in front of your would-be in-laws.

Nobody knew that better than Hippocleides of Attica. Back in the sixth century BC, Cleisthenes, the tyrant of Sicyon, wanted to marry off his daughter, Agariste. Instead of simply accepting a bride price, he organized a competition to find the best suitor. His call was answered by 12 of the most eligible bachelors in the Greek world.

The suitors went through challenges such as chariot racing and wrestling to prove their worth. By the end of the competition, Hippocleides became Cleisthenes’s favorite to win his daughter’s hand in marriage. However, at a banquet in the suitors’ honor, Hippocleides got very drunk and started acting like an idiot. At one point, he did a handstand and started kicking his legs in the air in rhythm with the music. An angered Cleisthenes told Hippocleides that he “danced away his wife.” Agariste married Megacles, instead.

6 Be Practical

Sometimes, you get better results by showing your practical side. That’s a lesson we can learn from the ancient Egyptians, who, as far as we can tell, did away with fancy courtship rituals and complicated ceremonies. If a woman moved her stuff from her parents’ house into a man’s house, that meant they were married. There was typically a prenuptial agreement in place between the husband and the wife’s father, which outlined who got what in the event of a breakup.

Divorces also seemed to be a straightforward affair, particularly for that time period. Couples were expected to stay together for life (and beyond), but in the event of a split, they divided their possessions, and the children went with the mother. This didn’t apply in the case of adultery, which was heavily frowned upon and carried severe punishments (even death).

None of this is to say that a practical marriage had no room for love or romance. Vizier Ptahhotep wrote The Maxims of Ptahhotep, a collection of wisdom to be passed down to newer generations. In it, he advised husbands to “love [their] wife; feed her and clothe her well; make her happy.” Some of the earliest examples of romantic literature came from Egyptian inscriptions in which men praised the beauty of their wives.

5 Spend Some Quality Time Together

History has never been shy about making it clear that a woman’s place was at home, taking care of the household while the man went out and did things. However, Teutonic women firmly believed their place was next to their husbands, even during war. They followed the men from skirmish to skirmish. They would perform tasks such as feeding the men and tending to the wounded but would not hesitate to take up arms when the need arose.

Plutarch writes of Roman legionaries invading a Teutonic camp and being pushed back by women wielding swords and axes, who endured wounds and slashes with “undaunted resolution.” This kind of determination led to the rise of the Latin phrase furor Teutonicus, a ferocity in battle shared by both Teutonic men and women.

The chastity and devotion of Teutonic women was another trait evoked by historians. The Teutons were virtually wiped out by Romans at the Battle of Aquae Sextiae in 102 BC. Valerius Maximus wrote that the women pleaded to become sacred servants of Vesta instead of slaves. When their request was refused, they committed mass suicide.

4 Try Love In A Bottle

People who hadn’t managed to snag that special someone could resort to a little chemical assistance in the form of a love potion. Almost every culture in existence has its own food or drink or behavior which is meant to increase libido, make people fall in love, or even cure impotence. There are valid reasons for this: Some of the ingredients used in aphrodisiacs genuinely have positive effects. Even those that don’t work could still cause some improvement thanks to the power of the placebo effect.

In a medieval book on plants and animals, Albertus Magnus informs us that a concoction of periwinkle mixed with leeks and earthworms, pulverized and sprinkled over food, can strengthen the love between a man and his wife. He also warns us that the same mixture thrown into a pond would kill the fish.

Marigolds were a popular ingredient during the Middle Ages and were used in many love potions. Certain Native American tribes preferred wild columbine. Jimsonweed was used throughout parts of India, which was especially dangerous, as it is a toxic plant, part of the nightshade family.

3 Write Your Feelings Down

Some people might have problems expressing themselves and would be better suited to writing their feelings down in a love poem. For inspiration, they could turn to the most romantic civilization in history: the Vikings.

We might think of the Vikings as having been all about the pillaging, but their poems and sagas are filled with stories of true love, particularly love that follows the couple into death. Njal’s Saga is an example. Njal’s wife is offered amnesty, but she chooses to die by his side to keep the promise she made when they got married.

In the Gesta Danorum, Saxo Grammaticus records the passionate song of Hagbaror before being hanged and after learning that his wife killed herself so that they could be together in the afterlife: “So let the encircling bonds grip my throat in the midst; the final anguish shall bring with it pleasure only, since the certain hope remains of renewed love.”

While the sagas exalted the love between husband and wife, courting an unmarried girl was downright dangerous. Salacious poems suggesting that the writer had intimate knowledge of a girl would greatly tarnish her honor and diminish her value as a wife. These practices could result in death, as the girl’s father or brothers would feel obligated to defend her name.

2 Exchange Gifts

One of the best ways to grab someone’s attention is with a thoughtful gift. Throughout history, material possessions have almost always been at the heart of marriages. Some cultures had a bride price or bridewealth: The groom had to pay money, land, or wealth to his future wife’s family. Other cultures had a dowry: The bride’s father had to contribute toward the groom’s family.

As marriage customs loosened up a bit, gifts between lovers became more common and more sensual, even without a commitment to marriage. Renaissance Italy was a period where such gift exchanges were common. Woven belts or girdles were given to young women, and they often featured provocative or romantic imagery, as they were associated with fertility. Brooches, pendants, and combs were also frequent choices for gifts.

1 Dissect A Woman To Learn Her Anatomy

This helpful tip comes from 19th-century French novelist Honore de Balzac. One of his lesser-known works was a treatise named The Physiology of Marriage, which uncovered the secrets of a loving, successful marriage. Among the many useful pieces of advice offered in the book, Balzac cautions us that marriage is a science and that a proper man should dissect at least one woman prior to marriage in order to study her anatomy.

Balzac believed that we all have a certain amount of energy. While most men used that energy for their jobs, women didn’t know what to do with theirs. Therefore, the husband would be well-advised to tire out his wife with constant work so that she didn’t fall prey to her passions or caprices. Balzac also warned men against letting women drink plain water, for some reason. He recommended water lightly tinged with Burgundy wine.

Despite his keen insights into marriage, Balzac married late in life, aged 50. This was 20 years after he wrote The Physiology of Marriage. He died five months later.

So, you have been invited to dine with the Queen at Buckingham Palace and the invitation specifies “white tie”. You have no idea what that means or what it entails. Okay, it is unlikely that any of us will be dining with the Queen, but White Tie events do happen quite often and there is a very specific way that you must dress when attending one of these events. This list deals primarily with menswear as it is probably simple enough to tell women that they should wear their finest gown (no skirts, no trousers) when attending. We will start at the head and move down to the feet.

The correct hat to wear to a white tie event is a top hat. The wearing of a hat is optional, but if you do wear one you should also wear an opera cloak or coat. White gloves, scarf and cane are optional extras. According to contemporary sources, the inventor of the top hat, John Hetherington, caused such fright in people when he first wore his hat, that he was taken to court for wearing “a tall structure having a shining luster calculated to frighten timid people”. An authentic top hat should be wider at the top and bottom than the middle, and should have a curved upturned rim.

Your jacket should be a tailcoat – it must have a cut front that reaches to your waist and there should not be any part of the white vest underneath showing below the front. These coats have a split in the tail and often buttons on either side. The tails at the rear should not fall below your knees. The lapels (peaked) of the jacket should be covered with silk, or even better with grosgrain. In the photograph above, you can see that President Bush is wearing an ill fitting off-the-rack suit because the jacket front is too short. The Duke of Edinburgh (left) is wearing a well fitting suit with the correct length. The photograph on the right is another demonstration of a correctly fitting jacket and vest.

Your bowtie must be hand tied – do not buy a tie on a string or with clasps. It is as easy to tie a bowtie as it is to tie a regular tie – take some time to learn how. A hand tied is distinctively different in appearance and people will know. The tie should be made from cotton pique. You will need to have your neck measured when buying this item as bow ties come in various sizes.

Your shirt should be made of white cotton with a stiff front made of white cotton pique. The shirt should have no buttons down the front and it should have a single cuff requiring cufflinks (this is called a link cuff shirt, and is not to be confused with French cuffs – double cuffs – which are worn with a dinner jacket). The shirt must have a stiff wing tip collar (normally also made with cotton pique) and you can optionally wear a more formal shirt with a detachable collar. The front of the shirt should be fastened with white (or silver, or diamond) studs, and the cuffs should be fastened with matching cufflinks. The tips of the shirt collar are meant to sit behind the tie.

Your vest must be long enough to cover your waist – you should see no sign of the top of your trousers – including your suspender buttons. This is not usually a problem if you are wearing the correct trousers (unlike President Bush in the photograph attached to item 9). The vest should be made with white cotton pique and it should have three mother-of-pearl buttons – you should fasten all three buttons (contrary to the normal practice on non-formal vests). You can get two styles of vest – one has curving lapels, and the other sharp. Both are equally fine but curving lapels tend to be favored by olden men and can make you look overweight. In the photograph above we see a correctly styled vest, but unfortunately the jacket is too short and should not be worn with the vest in question.

You must wear suspenders with white tie. They should be button fastened suspenders – they should not have clips on them. You absolutely must not wear a belt at the same time as braces. Remember, suspenders are underwear – they must never be seen. For that reason you are free to wear any color you like. Suspenders are worn over your shirt but under your vest.

The correct trousers for white tie are fishtail trousers. These trousers sit on the waist, not the hips, and the back is higher than the front with a split with buttons (on the inside – same with the front) in order to fasten your braces. An example is seen in the photo above, but you should wear black trousers that are made to go with your jacket. Your trousers should have a double stripe down the outside of both legs (a single stripe is for black tie trousers). The stripes on your trousers should be made of the same material as the facing on your jacket lapels (grosgrain or silk). The trousers should fall to the heel of your shoe at the back – no higher, no shorter.

This is likely to be the most unusual item for most men – you must wear knee high black silk socks. These are readily available on the internet and in upmarket department stores. The best brand is probably Pantherella (as seen above).

When wearing white tie you must not wear patent leather shoes. The correct shoes are opera pumps which have a grosgrain bow on the front (as seen above). If you can not find opera pumps or do not own a pair, you can wear very high quality fine calves skin shoes – these are often sold as dancing shoes. You may also optionally wear formal slippers if you are hosting the white tie event (these are never worn outside of your own home). They are normally made of velvet and have an emblem stitched on the front. Opera pumps take a lot of getting used to if you are new to them as they do look a lot like women’s shoes without the high heel. Opera pumps are usually made of very fine high quality leather – they should not be made with patent leather.

The best type of handkerchief with white tie is fine linen – not silk. If you can not find a fine white linen handkerchief, silk is an acceptable alternative. The handkerchief must be white. The handkerchief should be folded (or puffed) and placed in the front pocket of your jacket so it is visible. If you wish to wear a flower in your lapel instead, you should generally not wear a handkerchief – though this is considered an acceptable practice it is not common. Keep an extra handkerchief in both of your trouser pockets – one for you in case you need it, and one in case you meet a lady in distress. Never use the handkerchief in your jacket pocket – it is for show only. You should also remember that it is considered extremely rude for any person to touch another person’s front handkerchief or tie.

Many thanks to Persephone who very kindly wrote a list of 8 points for ladies who are attending a white tie event. This is her 8 tips in their entirety:

I am a lady, therefore, I would not personally wear white tie. However, my husband does and we have been to several formal (i.e., white tie) functions in Europe and the United States. At least two people wanted to know a bit more about correct ladies’ attire, and with the permission of the Mr Frater, I will elaborate a bit.

1. Dress

As Mr Frater wrote, the dress can be of any colour. If there is an opening cotillion, very common at Austrian balls, regular guests should not wear white as pure white is reserved for debutantes. For a white tie function, especially one that involves dancing (e.g., Vienna Opera Ball in Austria), ladies wear a ball gown. A ball gown can be sleeveless, have short sleeves or even long sleeves (suitable for older ladies). The bodice is figure-hugging, whereas the skirt is full. Suitable fabrics are silks (silk satin, crepe, brocade, taffeta, dupioni, etc.), cotton (cotton satin or sateen, in the summer even cotton muslin) or various blends. A ball gown can be a two-piece ensemble, but the top and skirt must match. Here is an example of a ball gown.

2. Outerwear

The proper outerwear for a ball gown is a cloak. I have a black cotton velvet cloak that I wear during the traditional ball season. During the summer months, a simple silk shawl or a short matching bolero evening jacket (as pictured with the dress above) will suffice. Here’s a vintage evening cloak.

3. Shoes and Stockings

No sandals! Shoes must have closed toes and can be made of leather, satin, silk and in a colour that complements the dress. I usually wear black pumps and then switch into my ballroom dancing pumps. Stockings are a must for a formal event. Sorry, there no ifs and buts.

4. Handbag

A small evening handbag made of satin or silk usually looks best. You can either have one that matches or complements your dress.

5. Jewellery

Wear your tiara if you have one, and your best jewels. Watches are not worn, even if they are covered with diamonds.

6. Gloves

The proper gloves for a sleeveless of short-sleeved gown are opera gloves. For a long-sleeved dress, one may wear shorter gloves. Gloves are measured in buttons, an ancient French standard. The proper length is anywhere from 12 buttons (right above the elbow) to 18 buttons (middle of upper arm). Please avoid the 20 buttons as they look like you’re attending a fetish function or are about to star in a burlesque act. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but there is a time and place for everything. Traditionally, gloves are white, made out of kid leather and have a mousquetaire opening at the wrist, so a lady can eat and drink without completely removing her gloves. Gloves should always be worn when dancing, but hands must never be covered when eating. A lady may sip some champagne/water/wine, etc. while wearing gloves. Also, jewellery such as rings, bracelets, etc. are worn under not over the gloves. If you cannot fit them, don’t wear them if you’re bringing gloves. I see so many ladies who are trying to be elegant, wearing their rings over their gloves and eat dinner with them. I guess they just don’t know any better, but those of us who do, think it looks ridiculous. Kid gloves are expensive ($200+ per pair), but if you treat them well, they will last a lifetime. They may be lined with silk or unlined. Some are even washable. Here’s a great online place. If you don’t want to spend that much money, white or ivory silk is an acceptable alternative. Personally, I would abstain from anything coloured and polyester/nylon/spandex. Many ladies wear them, but they just don’t look very nice.

7. Make up

Tasteful and appropriate for you and the occasion. False eyelashes, eye shadow up to the brows, neon pink lipstick and two-inch neon pink talons are neither tasteful nor appropriate.

8. Hairstyles

Hair is usually in an updo, especially if there is dancing. You can wear your hair down, but many ladies prefer total or partial updos because the tiaras just look and fit better.

This is probably a good time to point out that white tie is evening wear – it should not be worn in the daytime. The same is true of black tie – neither should be worn before 6 o’clock in the evening.

Frugal living is a very rewarding way to live. Not only do you save money, you get to learn a lot of skills that many would consider long-dead. When living a frual lifestyle you are seldom bored because there is always something you can be doing to save money. Here is a list of the top tips for getting started in frugal living. You will notice that this is not a “top 10” list – but rather just a “top list” – I would like everyone to contribute their own items and a small description in the comments and I will place them in the main list. Let’s see if we can make this the best online list of tips for Frugal Living.

10. Budget

This is essential for all lifestyles – not just frugal living. Make a budget (be completely honest with yourself) and put a special section aside to keep track of how much money you spend. Each week, try to spend a little less than the week before. This can be a lot of fun as you start competing with yourself. You will be amazed how much lower you can go week by week.

9. Cancel Unneeded Services

Cancel cable TV and any magazine subscriptions you have. If you are like me, the chances are that you don’t read the majority of your subscriptions. I have a subscription to the New Yorker and on the rare occasion that I do open the latest copy, I normally just look at the cartoons! Most of the magazines that are available have websites with many of their print articles online. Use those instead.

8. Sell Sell Sell

Spend a weekend to go through every room in your house, picking out all of the things that you don’t use or need. Once you have finished rounding up all your unneeded goods, sell them on ebay. Not only will you simplify your life by de-cluttering, you will make some money which you can put in the bank for an occasional treat.

7. Talk to other frugal people

There are thousands of brilliant resources on the internet for people who are interested in Frugal living. In addition to websites I strongly recommend the newsgroup misc.consumers.frugal-living which has thousands of subscribers and a non-stop flow of useful tips and advice for frugal living.

6. Save on Bills

Run your washing machine on cold, and make sure you turn out any lights that are not in use. Another great way to save money here is to turn down the thermostat on your hot water boiler. Most electric and gas companies have brochures that tell you how to save money – take advantage of these. You can save a lot of money by wrapping up warm on the sofa with a good book and leaving the heating turned off.

5. Freebies

There are lots of freebies available that can save you a great deal of money. A google search for free goods can bring up a lot of useful items that you would normally have to pay for. You can also try writing to some of your favorite companies and ask for samples. If you have to stay in a hotel for any reason, be sure to pack up any left over soaps or shower items – you are paying for them as part of your hotel room bill, so you might as well get some use out of them.

4. Cleaners

This may sound horrifying complicated, but it is very easy to make all of your own household cleaners. Not only is it easy, it is fun. One bar of soap can make enough washing detergent to last months! Here are some excellent recipes for homemade washing detergent. For other cleaning needs you can often use vinegar in place of the expensive items you are used to buying. Don’t bother buying dryer sheets – they are totally unnecessary and cost a lot of money.

3. Use Coupons

Check your local stores regularly for coupons or special deals. You should be careful though – don’t buy something that is not essential just because it is on discount. Keep the coupons handy in case you need one at a later date.

2. Clothing

Don’t buy new clothes unless you absolutely must. It also goes without saying that you should not buy big label brand clothing as it is much more expensive than regular clothes. This is also a good opportunity to develop some good old fashioned skills like sewing – if you have clothes that are in need of repair, don’t throw them away – repair them. It is not difficult to learn how to use a needle and thread.

1. Eat Well

I say eat well because if you follow this tip, you will eat better than you have before. First off you need to stop buying any pre-packaged meals. Start making your own meals – all three of them. As you get better at being frugal, you can set aside time on the weekend to bake bread and other goods – it is much cheaper to make your own bread than it is to buy bread from the shop. In addition, it tastes much better. You can also dispense with things like milk and use milk powder. Remember to buy your flour and milk powder in bulk. At some point in the future I will write a list of top 10 frugal recipes.

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Since last year’s election, there has been something of a shift in respectability in the comments here. Consequently I thought it would be a good idea to put together a brief list explaining the rules for commenters (regulars and guests) and a few other pointers to help us all get back on track.

10 Banned Words

We are fairly liberal in allowing the use of profanity in comments but we never allow it when those words are used against a person. Due to popular demand we do not restrict any profanity, but if profanity is used against another commenter the comment will be deleted.

Other than that, we also auto-moderate certain words that are frequently seen in spammer’s comments.

9 Nickname Hijacking

If you comment using the nickname of another person, we will ban you immediately from commenting. This is not allowed as it causes confusion and tarnishes the reputation of the person you are mimicking. Attempting to bypass this (and any other commenting rule for that matter) will result in a full ban from the site, not just commenting.

8 Multiple Personalities

We don’t allow people to post under multiple nicknames. Like item 9, this causes confusion and is deceitful. Behind the scenes our moderators are able to see the IP address of each commenter so it is very easy for us to see when this is happening.

7 Attacking The Person

You should never personally attack another commenter. It is absolutely fine to attack their opinions but it is not fine to call that person names. First of all this hurts you because ad hominem attacks are a sign that you are unable to prove your point, and secondly it prevents people from feeling that they can safely speak their mind on a topic. If we want good open debate and friendly comments, name calling must not occur. Calling someone “sexist” for example, doesn’t hurt that person, it doesn’t prove your point, it just makes it appear that you can’t support your own opinions and need to resort to childish tactics.

6 Presume Innocence

When you read another person’s comment, you should presume they have good will and good intentions. If you automatically presume a person has ill-intent you will be immediately on the attack and this spoils the environment for everyone. It is wise to presume that the person you are debating is a regular person just like you and when he isn’t chatting and reading, he is going to work, visiting his family, reading books, watching TV, etc. In other words, you are both the same—why presume ill intent of the other person if you don’t have ill-intent yourself?

5 Words Matter

It is very important to use the right words when you are arguing with someone. When we use words that have different meanings to different people, it is not possible to have a valid discussion. For example, the words “murder” and “kill”. Using the word “murder” when you are actually describing “killing” prevents a valid debate from occurring because the two words mean entirely different things.

Murder is the illegal taking of another man’s life. Killing is the act of taking another man’s life. In a just war, we kill our enemies. The death penalty, by definition, is killing a man – not murdering him because the law permits it. So killing a man in order to steal his goods is murder, but killing a man in self-defense is not.

If you need to, debate the meanings of the words before using those words in your arguments. This is the logical and rational approach to a discussion. And who knows, maybe you’ll find that you actually agree with each other!

4 Don’t Proselytize

In discussions around religion or politics you will never convert someone on a commenting thread. Your goal should be to make your point fairly and politely. It should be understood first and foremost that if you are having a discussion of another faith or a different political opinion, you are not going to agree. The best you can hope for is to develop a deeper understanding of your fellow man and, hopefully, improve your knowledge on various subjects. This is useful even if you only come to learn why that person holds that view. And remember item 6: presume the person holds their view because of their earnest attempts to understand the world around them – not because they are born with an inherently evil desire to subvert the masses!

3 Common Language

Please remember that we are an English language website and all comments should be made in English. Using foreign languages or codes is tantamount to whispering . . . it is rude. You can, of course, refer to quotes in foreign languages or use common foreign phrases that are part of English (such as et cetera) but that should be the extent of it.

2 First Post

We don’t see this as much these days as we did in the past, but please don’t post silly comments that do not contribute in any way to the discussion. The worst of these are “first post!” type comments but they come in all shapes and sizes.

1 Breaches Of Good Commenting Etiquette

All registered users have the ability to flag a comment for moderator’s attention. You should definitely make use of this if you see comments that breach these rules. Self-moderation is far and away the best approach to take on a site. It should also be noted that if enough people flag a comment it is automatically hidden until a moderator approves it. You guys have the power so don’t be afraid to use it.

[COMPETITION: This list features a competition. See item seven on this list for details] It is the weekend. If you in the northern hemisphere, winter is slowly heading to you and you may be starting to feel a little down. Politics sucks, everyone is mean to everyone else online, and the media does nothing but tell you why you should be miserable. Rubbish! Forget it all. Life is awesome and with a few little tips you can make that true more often that not. So here I present you with the weekend ramblings of a man who wants to make the world a little happier today. Good luck with the competition! Leave a comment. Smile—

—and read this too: 10 Tips for Success in Everything

10 Laugh

Watch this video. I’ll wait . . .  Did it make you laugh? Or maybe the better question is: at what point did you begin to? Tell us in the comments! I posted that clip to get you into a better frame of mind for the reading of the rest of this list—let’s hope it worked. Science tells us it does. Adding laughter to your life truly is the best medicine and hopefully this item has proven that to you more than my words can. Nevertheless, in brief, watch or do funny stuff regularly. It gets easier with time.

9 Become A Loser

While our readers tend to be extremely good at maintaining their composure during commenting wars, occasionally the pearl clutching gets a little intense and nerves are frayed (I am being so diplomatic right now!) A really good way to be a little happier—particularly if you frequent online discussions—is to let everyone else be right. That is not to say you need to state a belief in something you don’t agree with, but you also don’t need to try to convert everyone around you to your ideas. How much does your life improve when you convince someone to change a belief they hold? Probably not at all. Most of the time these people are not even in the same room as us. So why get so het up about things? Think about it this way: in 12 months, will the outcome of your argument matter? Will anyone’s lives have changed because of it? If the answer is no, it is probably not worth pursuing.

8 Wear Blinders

Obviously I mean metaphorical blinders (or blinkers as the Brits say) and I am talking specifically with reference to the past and future. Do not look behind, do not look in front. Be. The somewhat wise man Lao Tzu said:

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

What is done is done. You can’t undo the past. So why suffer at its hand? And as for the future: you can’t do anything about that until you get there so why spend so much time thinking about it? No matter how bad things may seem, you are here right now and you are not in the midst of the greatest crisis in your life. Live for now.

7 Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Buy this book. “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff” is probably the single best book you can own in terms of happiness. It has brief points to help out in your daily life and boy do they make you think. The book is broken up into 100 short one page (or thereabouts) entries, but even a cursory glance of the table of contents is enough to give you some life-changing advice that will improve your happiness level hugely. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Make Peace With Imperfection
2. Seek to Understand
3. Let Yourself Be Bored
4. Think of Someone Everyday to Thank
5. Remember: Life Isn’t An Emergency

Buy this book. It will make you happy. It is the only self-help book I return to time and time again. Actually, don’t just buy this book: buy ten copies and give it away to your friends.

Competition: I love this book so much that I am taking my own advice. 24 hours after the publication of this list, I will note the comments with the ten highest upvotes and I will send their authors a copy of this book (signed by me with a little anecdote added). In other words, there are ten copies to be given away to the best commenters. There are no restrictions on which country you are in.

6 Ditch the Drugs

What goes up . . . must come down. For the sake of propriety I will presume people here aren’t using illicit drugs but this item goes doubly for people who do. With a great deal deal of caution, a person who is a long-term user of prescribed drugs should meet with their doctor and evaluate the ongoing benefits. It is quite easy to get used to taking longer-term medication without bothering to make sure it is still appropriate for you. The human body is pretty amazing, and unless you have a very obvious need for medication (in the case of schizophrenia or acute nerve damage for example), it may well be able to cope on its own. Antidepressants fall into this category and are often needed only to get through particularly dark times. I am sure I don’t need to say it but: do not make any medication changes without the full knowledge and recommendation of your doctor.

5 Take the Air

If you do no exercise at all, I don’t advocate joining the gym. Start walking, or swimming, or even doing sit ups in your living room. Any movement is better than no movement. As I recently explained on Top 10 Things Your Ancestors Did Better Than You,Exercise releases endorphins and has been found to be more effective than anti-depressants in many cases. Beyond the physiological effects of exercise you also get to take time away from electricity’s vice-like grip on your life (don’t wear headphones!) and see nature as God intended it. This is effectively a form of mindfulness as you have no choice but to simply let life exist around you.

4 Fail, Fail, Fail

When we try hard to do something, we sometimes stumble. Oddly, the harder we try, the more we stumble. If you are anything like me you are your own harshest critic and that certainly doesn’t help matters either. To truly begin the process of being happy, you need to accept failure. You will never be perfect—nothing you ever do will be perfect, but the more you are willing to accept being a step away from that, the happier you will be and the more you will take pride in what you do. Thank God I don’t except it to be perfect every day, otherwise I would have stopped seven days after I started! So be prepared to fail, and when you do: get right back up and go at it again.

3 Become Ignorant

I am being a little playful here with the title of this item. Remove the news media from your life. If you don’t read the news you don’t need to worry about whether it is fake or not (hint: it probably is). Politics and human misery can be put out of your mind. Let other people deal with that: why do you think we pay politicians so much money? Even if they do a terrible job what you can do? Okay so there might be a coup: but if that happens, you won’t be finding out about from the pages of the New York Times.

2 Be Nice To Others

Don’t just be respectful of others. Don’t just treat others as you would want them to treat you. Go a step further. Be as nice to other people as you can be. You are doing them a service, you are doing society as a whole a service, but most importantly, you are doing yourself a service: because most people will respond to you in like Manner. It is very difficult to be rude or unpleasant when someone is being extremely nice. And remember: if the other person doesn’t respond in kind, you should first consider that they are in the midst of some awful life situation rather than presuming they are simply a rude person. We all have bad days.

1 Get Friends

When a person is unhappy the company of friends and family can go a long way to fixing things. At the very worst you will be distracted for a short time and your brain will have a chance to re-organize some of its thoughts, and at the best, it will start you on a path to complete happiness. This can be a particularly difficult thing to do when you are not feeling very good but it is one of the most important things to achieving contentedness in life. If physical visits are impossible or just too difficult, a phone call is better than nothing at all.

Some people just look cool. Whatever they do, others will want to emulate it in hopes that a little of that magical allure will stick to them. Soon, yet more people are copying them, and a fashion is born. Looking back into the past, we can see that fashions are not modern trends but ones which have shaped our world and in some cases, us. Here are ten tips from the ancient world that modern fashionistas may want to adopt . . . or not.

10 Jewelry

Gold and silver are among the easiest metals to work. They melt at low temperatures, can be beaten into intricate shapes, and can be found simply lying about in streambeds without the need to dig deep into the Earth. But because they are so soft, they have few practical uses. Their beauty made them perfect for jewelry, however. The oldest-known gold artifact in the world dates from 4500 BC and is a tiny bead to be hung on a string.

If gold is too modern for you, then you may want to look further back for inspiration. Jewelry has a history that vastly predates metal use—and may not even be exclusive to humans. A set of eagle talons found among Neanderthal remains from 140,000 years ago show marks from having been cut into jewelry. In Kenya, people wore drilled discs of ostrich egg 40,000 years ago. In East Timor, at around the same period, people sported seashells, the remains of which bear red ocher that may have come from their body paint. In a cave in South Africa, tiny 75,000-year-old shells with holes were found grouped together. They were probably hung in bunches as a necklace.^[1]

9 Beanies

Animal skins are all very well for cave dwellers, but you want a more up-to-date look. You want that chic woven-fabric style of clothes that the cool tribes are wearing. Weaving first appeared at least 27,000 years ago. The earliest evidence comes not from clothes, which have long rotted away, but from impressions left in clay pots. The impressions show a wide variety of weaving styles to choose from. This discovery pushed back the debut of weaving and changed our view of some iconic ancient statuettes forever.

Venus figurines come from the late Paleolithic era and show enormously fat bodies, generally those of women. While you may wish to copy their body shape, it is their hats which have caught researchers’ attention. Before the discovery of ancient weaving, it was thought the complex patterns adorning the Venuses’ heads were elaborate hairstyles. Now they are being seen as early woven hats like a modern beanie.^[2]

8 Socks And Sandals

When a Roman army marched toward you, it would rarely be a laughing matter. Look away from their swords and shields, however, and you might chuckle to find these valiant men wearing socks and sandals. The conquerors of the world were not afraid to commit a fashion faux pas. In Britain, artifacts have been discovered showing Romans in their socks and sandals. A razor handle fashioned like a shapely leg clearly shows a foot with woven socks pulled up high, underneath a pair of sandals.^[3]

You might think this was a fashion necessitated by the chilly British climate. However, from the scorching sands of Egypt comes more direct evidence of the ancient fondness for socks and sandals. In the Victoria and Albert Museum, there is an unusual pair of bright red socks from roughly AD 300. They have two divided toes at the end to allow the straps of a sandal to slip comfortably through.

7 Tattoos

Tattoos are everywhere these days. It’s hard to find a pop star who doesn’t have even a little ink somewhere on their body. While the fashion for flaunting tattoos is new in our society, in the past, people were equally happy to show off their skin art. How do we know this about the ancients, who left little art and no writing? The best place to find tattoos is in the skin.

In Chile, hundreds of mummified bodies from the Chinchorro people have been discovered. One of these was a young man with a row of tattooed dots above his upper lip. Perhaps he was attempting to make up for a lack of facial hair. He died around 4,000 years ago.

The oldest-known tattoos come from Otzi the Iceman, a frozen body discovered in a melting glacier in the Alps. When Otzi froze to death 5,300 years ago, the cold preserved his 61 separate tattoos. These are mostly horizontal lines and are thought to have had ritual or therapeutic purposes, but they could also have been status symbols that would have made others envious.^[4]

6 Perfume

Fashion extends beyond what the eye can see. The human body isn’t always the most fragrant of objects. As soon as humans discovered pleasant-smelling ointments, they seem to have smothered themselves in them. On Cyprus, a 4,000-year-old perfume factory has been discovered in the ruins left by an earthquake. The residue of perfumes clinging to pottery vessels has allowed modern perfumers to recreate these ancient aromas.

The ancient Egyptians were addicted to perfume. They considered fragrances to be the sweat of the Sun god Ra. They had a god of perfume called Nefertum, who healed with sweet-smelling blossoms.^[5] To wear your perfume like an Egyptian, you’ll have to give up your spray bottles. The Egyptians infused aromas into oil, not alcohol as we do. A cone of perfumed wax would be balanced on top of an Egyptian’s head. As it melted over the course of a sultry evening, it released its smell.

5 Hairstyles

Are you a lady looking to stand out from the crowd, to set yourself above your competition? Then Roman women of the Flavian era (AD 69–96) have some advice for you: Pile your hair on your head in an imposing mass of rings. The satirist Juvenal describes how “numerous are the tiers and storeys piled one upon another on her head!” Aristocratic ladies of this time would have kept a specially trained slave, an ornatrix, for the task of teasing their quiffs ever higher. If a rich Roman woman lacked sufficient hair to produce the desired look, she could turn to wigs made from slave hair.^[6]

Fashions in hairstyle could change quickly, so a bust carved from marble could certainly end up depicting a lady with a passe hairdo. To combat this, some busts were made with detachable stone wigs to allow more up-to-date styles to be attached at a later date.

4 Roman Bikinis

The bikini was supposed to be as explosive a clothing garment as the hydrogen bomb which scorched the Bikini Atoll was. When it was created in 1946, it was the height of modernity—except for the fact that an ancient Roman woman would have instantly recognized it.

While modern bikinis are used for sunbathing and swimming, to the Romans, they were sportswear. A mosaic has been uncovered showing ten women taking part in various sports wearing something very similar to a modern bikini.^[7]

It was not merely a practical garment, however. The Roman bikini was an object of titillation. Poets made bawdy jokes about the women who wore them, and art was created of the wearers, possibly for men to gawk at. At Pompeii, a statue of Aphrodite was discovered showing the goddess of love in a gold bikini.

3 Cosmetics

The Roman comic playwright Plautus said, “A woman without paint is like food without salt.” The use of cosmetics goes back far beyond the Romans, however. Paint-making tools have been found from 100,000 years ago, containing the same pigments used in ancient societies to decorate the body.

Makeup as we know it can be traced to the Egyptians. Egyptian men and women from all social classes applied a thick layer of dark kohl around their eyes. This had a religious symbolism, related to depictions of the gods, but it also had practical uses. The dark pigment helped to reduce the glare of the fierce Sun, repelled annoying insects away from the eyes, and caught dust and sand.^[8] Kohl contains toxic lead, but that was a risk worth paying for beauty. Roman women would use rouge made from an equally dangerous red lead compound.

2 Togas

Think of Rome, and you might think of old men in togas in the Senate house. That was about the only time you could get a Roman to actually wear a toga. Togas were not designed for everyday use. Only on occasions when it was necessary to put on a show would a man don his toga.

Togas were pretty much designed to be useless as clothes. To be worn properly, these huge semicircles of wool required the help of slaves in dressing.^[9] Holding it in place all day meant you could not use your left arm for any other task. The thick wool was stifling in the Roman summer. Wearing a toga told people you were far too important to actually do anything physical. To keep your toga clean also required it to be soaked in urine and trampled by slaves’ feet to dissolve grease.

One advantage of the toga was that the folds of cloth provided handy spots for carrying small objects like a stylus and notepad. Caesar’s assassins hid their daggers in their togas.

1 Skull Binding

Are you tired of having to wear a top hat to show how upper-class you are? Why not change the shape of your skull? Alas, it is too late for you, but your children may benefit. For at least 10,000 years, humans have been molding the malleable heads of babies into unusual and unnatural shapes as a marker of social distinction.^[10] The practice seems to have developed independently in many civilizations. Ancient Europeans, the Huns, the Ostrogoths, the Maya, the Inca, and Native American tribes all used various methods to alter the shape of their children’s skulls.

Hippocrates, the father of Western medicine, described the technique used to achieve artificial cranial deformation in 400 BC: “They think those the most noble who have the longest heads. It is thus with regard to the usage: immediately after the child is born, and while its head is still tender, they fashion it with their hands, and constrain it to assume a lengthened shape by applying bandages and other suitable contrivances whereby the spherical form of the head is destroyed, and it is made to increase in length.”

You certainly can’t say we don’t cover everything at the List Universe! Here are 10 top tips for stain removal. Always test an inconspicuous area of the stained article before applying these tips.

1. Blood

Dry or wet, you can remove blood with Hydrogen Peroxide. Pour a little on to the stain and let it sit for a couple of minutes. Rinse, repeat, and it should be gone. Incidentally, this will not remove forensic evidence of blood, just the stain.

2. Pen Ink

Spray hairspray on to the stain (use a lot) and let it dry. Wash as normal. Another tip for removing ink is to soak the stained article in milk overnight, then wash.

3. Red Wine

If the spill is small, pour white wine on to a cloth and dab the red wine – it works like magic. If the stain is larger, pour salt on it. Both of these tips only work if the wine is wet.

4. Nicotine

Lemon juice should remove nicotine stains. If the stains are on your fingers, use lemon juice and pumice stone.

5. Melted Wax

Lay brown paper over the garment and iron – moving the paper often. The paper will absorb the wax.

6. Rust

Rub with lemon juice and salt and leave in the sun. Then wash as usual.

7. Grease

To remove grease, dab the stain with eucalyptus oil then put through a hot wash. You may need to repeat the process. Another useful tip is to rub butter in to your hands if they are stained with grease. Then rinse with soapy water.

8. Black marks on the floor

Sometimes you get black marks on the floor from the soles of shoes. A great way to remove these is to pour a little lighter fluid on to a cloth and wipe.

9. Crayon on Walls

Use baking soda on a damp cloth to rub crayon stains off smooth surfaces. A more risky way is to use white spirit.

10. Grass

Grass stains can be removed by wiping the article over with methylated spirits. Repeat until the stain is gone and wash.

Technorati Tags: DIY, stains

While I do not always end up managing to put each of the following tips into practice, I do make a big effort to do so each day. This is a list of my favorite tips to improving your life. All it takes is a little bit each day and you will see wondrous changes. Feel free to add your own tips to the comments.

10. Get off to a Good Start

This means getting up early and eating breakfast. You will have much more energy throughout the day to follow the rest of these tips if you do! If you are so inclined, you can even include a little exercise in your morning routine. If you live with other people you can try to use this opportunity to get everyone together at the table to eat in the mornings. This is a nice way to start the day and a good way to ensure open lines of communication in a very busy household.

9. Keep a Schedule

It is a very good idea to write down the tasks you need to achieve in each day. As you complete them, tick them off. You should not, however, feel like you are bound to your list. If you don’t manage to do everything, it doesn’t matter – move any incomplete tasks from today on to tomorrow’s list. This is also a great help if you are a procrastinator.

8. Take a Break and have Fun

If you spend too much time in front of the computer, at your desk, or doing whatever it is that your occupation requires, you should take a break. This doesn’t mean you have to take time off work – it just means you should try to make better use of your non-work time to do something fun. I always have difficulty pulling myself away from the computer and as a result I don’t go out as often as I should on the weekend or in the evening. But every time I do – I wonder why I haven’t done it sooner. This is a good way to develop new interests, and friends and to break up the monotony of everyday life.

7. Be Generous

Generosity has a tendency to come back. By generosity I am not referring only to money. You can be generous with your smiles, your advice, and many other things. Always try to find a way to help others. One day you may be in great need and people you know will be more likely to come to your aid when they know that you would do the same for them. You might know someone that could use help around the home from time to time – not only are you doing a good thing by helping them out, but you may also make a great new friend.

6. Accept the things you can’t Change

When something bad happens in our lives, we try to fix them or change them. But sometimes we can’t. Often this leads us to spend hours moping and falling in to depression. If you can make yourself accept the things you cannot change – you will become a much happier person. Acceptance of these situations also allows us to start finding a way to cope much faster. For example, you may realize that you have only $10 left in your bank account that has to last the next 2 weeks. Instead of getting down about it, accept that you have no money and work out a way to survive on that amount. You can save yourself from wasting hours in a bad mood by just getting on with life. You will find much more serenity in life following this tip.

5. Learn a New Language

Learning another language is one of the best ways to improve your grasp on English. In my own experience, learning French at high school taught me so much more about grammar than English class ever did. In addition, when I later started studying Ancient Greek, I learnt a lot about the roots of English words – something I have found very useful in writing in the years since. As well as improving your knowledge of English, if you learn a living language you increase the number of places you might like to visit – or make those holidays much more enjoyable by being able to speak to the natives in their own tongue.

4. Break the Chain

If you have a lot of patterns in your life, try breaking them – do something different every day. Let’s say you always order the same meal at your regular Friday night restaurant. Why not try something else this Friday? Not only do you get to broaden your experiences of life, you open up many doors for the future. Not long ago I would never eat oriental foods or seafood. Then one day I decided that I would just try it. Seafood is now one of my favorite foods and I would hate to be without it. Because I discovered that I love Thai and Chinese food, I can eat in any restaurant I want. That first step also meant that I am now willing to try absolutely any food (except maybe the ones on the Top 10 most Disgusting Foods list). My disliking for those foods had a much greater impact as well – I would only holiday in countries that had foods I felt safe with. Since then I have been to Oriental countries and loved it.

3. Face the Fear

Every day you should do something you don’t want to do – or feel uncomfortable doing. This varies in degrees for everyone, but we all have little things we can start out with. For example, you may not go to the gym because you fear everyone looking at you – do it anyway! In no time you will be so much more confident that you abolish the fear entirely and can move on to the next fear – maybe even something bigger. Living a fearless life gives you a confidence that is visible to others. Instead of building walls around ourselves, we should be tearing them down.

2. Forget Goals – Live for the Now

Lists of this nature almost always tell you to set and write goals. I am going to tell you the opposite. A very wise psychotherapist once told me that if you set a goal, and achieve it, you are often left with an empty feeling because the goal is not what you thought it would be. Not only does it not satisfy, you inevitably end up missing out on so much life by striving to reach something in the future. Having said this, I don’t think you should ignore the future – it is worth having some idea of what you might like to one day achieve – but don’t focus all of your energy on getting it. A good example of the difference is this: I have a goal to live in France. I spend 10 years trying to save up all my money so I can acheive that goal. In the meantime I am so busy scrimping and saving, that I can’t afford to go out with friends, I can’t afford to live in a nice home, and I am miserable because I am not living in France. On the other hand, if I simply decide that one day I would like to live in France, the idea is in my mind, but I continue to live and enjoy my life. In living my life, I am happy now and not focused on a distant goal. If it happens, great. If it doesn’t happen, I haven’t failed at anything. But who knows what wonderful things may happen in my life in the meantime? A very good fictitious example of this can be found in the film American Beauty.1. Don’t Procrastinate

This is one I struggle with a lot in my own life. This has been a great challenge for me as I work from home, but taking this job has really helped me to stop putting things off and take control of my life. The feeling after completing a task you would normally put off is a great high – and certainly a much healthier one than some of the other highs in our lives. When you put something off, you are putting yourself into time-debt. You have to pay that debt back and almost always you end up having to do that at the most inconvenient time. By putting off writing an article for the site, for example, I end up having to write one at 7 at night when I would rather be watching a movie and having a drink! Your life will become so much more organized if you follow this rule.

Bonus: Read the List Universe every day

Scientific studies have proven that people who read the List Universe every day live much happier and fuller lives. Okay – I made that up – but do it anyway!

Technorati Tags: self-improvement

Homeschooling is an excellent alternative method to educate your child or children. It allows you to spend more time with your kids, and to structure their classes to suit their temperaments. This is a list of ten useful tips for homeschoolers or people thinking of taking it up.

1. Know the laws in your place of residence

This one is particularly important since laws regarding schooling can vary from state to state, and country to country. Do some research before you start and find out what is required and what isn’t. Some places require meticulous record keeping and others only require the student to be evaluated regularly. Make life easier on yourself and just find out.

2. Talk to your children

While the decision to home school ultimately rests with you as a parent, it is always a good idea to discuss it with your children. Let them know why you are thinking about it and what benefit you think it will have. Listen to any concerns that they may have and discuss solutions and strategies. If a child is adamantly opposed to homeschooling, it may not be a good idea to attempt it. Homeschooling really works best when everyone is working together.

3. Frequently use a library card

This one should go without saying. A library card is like a treasure chest. I have heard it said that in the beginning a child learns to read. After that they read to learn. Encourage a love of learning. Visit the library often. Encourage your child to pick out many different kinds of books. Take advantage of the resources available to you as well; there are books specifically written for home schoolers that would cost hundreds of dollars to buy.

4. Have an internet connection

This is a tremendous tool. There are so many websites and groups dedicated to education in general and homeschooling in particular. There are places with printable activities, curriculums about specific topics, forums with other home schoolers, and so much more. Just trust me, have an internet connection and use it. Oh – and don’t forget to include The List Universe 101 in your curriculum.

5. Extra curricular activities

Socialization can be one of the biggest problems when it comes to homeschooling. The concern is that if a child is not in class room with other children, they might have a difficult time relating to their peers. This is easily solved! Get your child involved in group activities of another sort: sports, martial arts, clubs, play groups, or anything that gets them around other children on a regular basis.

6. Find other home schoolers in your area

Other home schoolers can be a wealth of information and support. They will have often tried various curriculums and methods and can give feedback on what did and didn’t work for them and why. They might even have an old unused or reusable curriculum laying around. If you can’t find any near you, which is possible, look for other home schoolers online.

7. Be realistic about time and effort

Homeschooling is both labor and time intensive – especially with a younger student that needs more supervision and guidance, and even more so when you are teaching more than one child. This is not to say that it is difficult, just that it requires discipline. It will take several hours a day and a certain amount of organizational skills. I am not saying that it is the most difficult thing in the world, it really isn’t, just don’t fool yourself into expecting everything to be perfect and easy.

8. Explore your options

Some parents are more comfortable with a set curriculum, others prefer to have a less structured style. Think about your strengths and weaknesses and what you want to achieve with homeschooling. If it is legal in your country, you can even find the old classical curriculums online that were taught in schools many years ago – there is nothing wrong with learning a bit of Latin or Greek at a young age.

9. Be willing to be flexible

Like any decision that one makes regarding their children nothing goes quite the way you expect it to. You may start with a strict curriculum and decide that it is not allowing your children to progress at their own pace, slowing them down in some areas or leaving them behind in others. Alternately you may find that you need more structure if you find that you aren’t getting things done or you have no idea what you are supposed to be teaching for your child’s age group. Just be flexible and willing to make whatever changes it takes to make it work for your family. Understand that most children will excel in a subject or two and have more difficulties in others. If your child takes to reading and science like a fish to water but math leaves them cold, allow them to move through at their own pace. Let them push through the good stuff as fast as they like, and make the time to focus with them on areas that are difficult. This is one of the most beneficial aspects of homeschooling. You don’t have a classroom to keep up with or hold back with. Take advantage of it. Also, be willing to admit if it just isn’t working for you. It’s not the end of the world if you can not make homeschooling work for your family. Bear in mind that you can still be very involved in your child’s learning process, just in a different way.

10. Have patience

Finally, patience is essential. Be patient with yourself and your child. There are going to be days when everything goes splendidly, and others when it seems like nothing is working. Trying to plod along on a bad day is often completely counterproductive. Take a breather and come back relaxed. Don’t expect everything to go perfectly. Just take a deep breath and work through the issues as they come up.

Contributor: heavenlymayday

Technorati Tags: education, homeschooling

We all want to get out of debt but it can seem like a long and hard road to financial freedom. In reality, it is not difficult as long as you follow a few steps and remain dedicated to the cause. This is a list of ten tips to help you find your financial freedom.

10 Face Facts

Before you go any further, you need to sit down and work out exactly what you owe, to whom you owe it, and what interest rate you are paying. This information will be very helpful with the rest of these tips. It is very easy to think of all of our debts as small payments each pay, but when you add them all up they can amount to a massive debt. This can be a very scary task but unfortunately it must be done. If you need to, get a friend or family member to sit down with you to help you go through old bank statements to make sure you miss nothing out. The good news is that once you have done this, the hard part is over. You have faced the debt and now it is time to kill it.

9 Stop Spending

Be satisfied with what you have. For the next few months you are not going to be able to spend money on treats. It is very important to be able to resist all of those wonderful things that we all want to have. If you are always wanting to buy new things, you are going to find it very hard to stick to the tips in this list and that can lead to failure and, even worse, more debt, unless you can start being satisfied with what you have. Chances are, shopping is what got you in to this predicament in the first place, so nip it in the bud now. You absolutely must stop acquiring new debt.

8Increase Your Income

While this is not always possible, you should certainly try to increase your income (even if by only a small amount). The more money you have to put on debt, the faster you will eradicate it. You can take a part time job at a supermarket, at a fast food restaurant, or even just offering to do odd jobs around the neighborhood. There are a huge variety of part time jobs available in all manner of areas.

7Pay Yourself

It is very important that you give yourself enough money to spend each pay cycle. If you try to skimp in this area, you will break your budget and undo all of the good work you have achieved. This is not to say that you should not be trying to reduce expenses, which is also very important. When working out your “play” money, be sure to include everything you might normally spend money on. If you leave something off you can put the whole budget out of whack.

6 Stop Saving

Until you are out of debt, stop saving. In fact, if you have savings put aside, you should immediately transfer the full amount on to your debts. Your savings account will be making you far less interest than the money you will save by reducing debt at high interest. Here is a very basic example:

Savings @ 5% : $10,000 (Total interest earned in one year: $500)
Credit Card @ 21% : $10,000 (total cost of debt for one year: $2,100)

By putting your $10,000 on to your debt, you are saving $2,100 in interest charges at the expense of $500. It would be utterly foolish to leave your money in the savings account.

5Consolidation Loans

Unless you have managed to get so deeply into debt that you can’t make minimum payments on all of your loans and cards, you should definitely not get a consolidation loan. If you are in such a bad state that you simply can’t afford your debts, a consolidation loan may be the only choice you have short of bankruptcy. Make sure you shop around and get the lowest rate possible. You should also try to keep the term down as it will become a part of your debt budget (item 1) and you want to clear your debts as soon as possible.

4Reduce Expenses

Frugal living can be very rewarding. Not only do you save money, but you learn a lot about survival and taking care of yourself. There are some very simple ways you can reduce expenses. For example, perhaps you go out on the town twice a week – reduce it to one night and have the other night in – you can still enjoy yourself but you won’t be paying bar prices for liquor. If you always buy brand goods at the market, start buying generic – you can save a lot of money doing this. You should also consider buying in bulk as bulk buying is almost always cheaper. Keep your eyes out for good deals and coupons. While this may seem like a difficult step, you will eventually find that you prefer to live like this because of the many rewards that come from exercising your brain in seeking out ways to reduce spending. A very beneficial side-effect to this (which I have personally experienced) is that you can dramatically reduce the amount of trash you produce by buying only what you need and buying in bulk. This can be looked at like a game. When I was following this plan, I found myself trying every week to reduce the amount of money I was spending. The less I spent, the better I lived (as a result of home cooking and pride in my efforts). Do not buy pre-packaged or prepared meals – you are paying a lot of money for nothing. You should also be aware that certain meats, like chicken, can go up in price dramatically when you buy skinned and boneless. It does not take much time to do this yourself.

3 Credit Cards

Credit cards can be as good a tool to get out of debt as they were to get you into debt in the first place. If you have a credit card with a low interest rate that is not maxed out, consider moving a higher interest debt (or as much of it as you can) to the card. The interest savings may seem low, but every penny counts.

If you have maxed your cards out, the first thing you need to do is cut them up. You will not be using credit cards on this plan (and if you absolutely need one for important internet purchases, get a pre-paid credit card).

2 Budget

First of all, this budget will include all of your income and all of your expenses, but, it will not include any of your debts – they will go on your special debt budget (see item 1). In this budget you should list your total income, your total outgoings, and your total surplus. As a part of this budget you should also include your required spending money (item 7). It is imperative that you stick to this budget – it is your lifeline. If you are not honest when creating it, you will find the whole thing collapses within one or two pay cycles. Include every expense.

1 Make a Debt Budget

This is different from your regular budget. Your regular budget will tell you how much money you have left after all other expenses have been paid, the debt budget will tell you what you owe and how much to pay on each debt.

Transfer the total surplus from your budget to the debt budget. This is the most important money you have – it is the money that will give you financial freedom.

Next you need to itemize all of your debts in order of highest interest paid to lowest interest paid. Pay the minimum amount required on all but the highest interest debt – this is the only time you should be paying minimum payments. Keep doing this until you remove the high interest debt entirely. Once this is done, put 100% of the money you were spending on that debt to the debt with the next highest interest; keep doing this until you have paid all of your debts off. This creates a snowball effect and you will be amazed at how quickly your debt is reduced. It is one of the best motivators for people working on debt reduction. You should remember to do this in conjunction with item 3 (transfer highest interest debts to lowest interest debts where possible).

Once you have paid all of your debts off, start putting the full amount of your debt payment money into savings and investments. You were already living without the money – why not keep doing so and save it for something special.