If there’s one thing that pretty much everybody is in agreement on, it’s that grammar snobs are, well, snobby. It’s right there in the name! Linguists, writers, copy editors, line editors, and all the rest of ’em (you know… nerds!) have a very particular way of doing things. And when it comes to language and word usage, that is their domain. So, if you have any of them in your lives out there, you certainly know they feel a particular way about the dictionary. To the rest of us, that’s a miserable slog. To them, it’s enthralling.

Today, we’re going to use this list to rankle them a little bit. Below, you’ll find the interesting tales of ten words that grammar snobs and linguists insist should not be words. Some are slang terms that haven’t ever been recognized in dictionaries or word lists. Others are strange words that have found their way into the popular lexicon despite not being officially recognized. But guess what? In time, dictionaries have come around to categorizing the following words as, well, words. And no matter what the grammar snobs in your life may say about them, that’s good enough for us!

Related: 10 Famous Writers Who Came Up with Everyday Words

10 Nother

Surely, you use the word “another” quite a bit. And probably just as surely, you’ve heard someone say “a whole nother” to describe a different thing, item, category, or grouping. It’s a little bit of a goofy word (or phrase), but people have used it to describe differences and exaggerate pairings and groupings. Now, grammar sticklers will get in your face with a very loud and very quick argument about how “nother” isn’t a word and “a whole nother” is simply nonsense. You shouldn’t break up “another” with the word “whole” between syllables, they’ll say. It’s not right!

But we’ve got bad news for grammar snobs and dictionary defenders: it actually IS right. That’s right. The word “nother” first popped up back in the 14th century and, from the start, was used to function similarly to “another.” Then, in the 19th century, it became very common to see “nother” as a standalone word and a synonym for its, uh, cousin. And now? It’s in the dictionary. It’s legitimate. Of course, it’s still not as commonly used as “another.” And you’ll still probably get weird looks from people if you do use it. But at least you can point them to the dictionary as proof that you’re not making it up.^[1]

9 Impactful

For years, “impactful” wasn’t a word. And then… the 1960s happened. During that decade and the latter half of the one preceding it, advertising agencies got their tentacles into America. Some of us would say that the country has never recovered. Jokes aside, though, ad agencies did a lot as far as finding unique ways to market their products. They also figured out an entirely new language to reference their work, their achievements, their campaigns, and more. One of the foremost and most lasting words that they created was “impactful.” Some might even say their idea to pick up that word out of thin air was… wait for it… impactful.

Basically, ad agencies took the word “impact” and altered it slightly in order to have a way to describe their marketing campaigns. Seeking to toot their own horn about how their campaigns were having a big impact on the public, they coined the term “impactful” and began using it in board meetings and conference calls. Soon enough, the word made its way outside the boardroom and landed on the street. And today, many things are seen as “impactful.” Possibly including the “impactful” punch a grammar snob might land across an advertising industry executive’s face.^[2]

8 Prolly

When it comes to text messages and Internet speak, “prolly” has pretty much taken over for “probably.” Especially among a younger generation and a fresh, new set of folks. To talk to us oldheads, we don’t recognize “prolly” as a real world. It’s a heck of a lazy contraction, and we simply aren’t here for it. But younger people don’t care, so they use it regularly—along with OMG, LOL, and every other slang term and coded abbreviation under the sun. Here’s the thing, though: “Prolly” has gotten so popular over time that it is now officially in the dictionary!

Amazingly, the first documented use of “prolly” in place of “probably” went all the way back to the 1940s. Naturally, it functioned back then just as it does now: as a clipped version of the word “probably” to be used to save some time and a bit of a spelling headache. (We suppose.) Even more amazingly, the Oxford English Dictionary has now come to recognize that it’s so commonplace (and so understood) that it deserves its own dictionary entry. At this point, after nearly 100 years in use, the grammar snobs should prolly give up this fight. Prolly is here to stay!^[3]

7 Snuck

If you want to say somebody is sneaking around but put the sentence in the past tense, what verb would you use? If you said “sneaked,” you would be correct. But tons (and tons and tons) of people believe that the correct verbiage to use in that case is “snuck.” So many people have thought that in fact—and for literally a couple centuries at this point—that “snuck” has finally entered the lexicon and officially made its way into the dictionary. See, even though “sneaked” is and has always been correct, people going all the way back to the latter half of the 19th century have employed “snuck” as the past tense version of the verb “to sneak.”

The drumbeat has been going on for so long that dictionary advocates and compilers have finally thrown up their hands and relented. Grammarians and linguists fought tooth and nail over this one for a long time and tried their hardest not to have “snuck” sneak up on them. After all, there is not a single verb in the English language that ends in -eak, which then transfers over to the ending -uck, which is the past tense. Well, there weren’t any… until “snuck” went and snuck up on us all. Today, “snuck” is officially a word you will find in every mainstream dictionary. Even if grammar snobs complain relentlessly about it.^[4]

6 Madded & Madder

Let’s offer up a two-for-one special here that’ll be sure to get grammar nerds doubly upset. Or should we say it’ll make them madder than they were before? Word snobs and linguistic experts left and right will tell you that “madded” is not a word. You can get “mad,” of course, and you can be “maddened” by something, but you can’t get “madded” over an issue or person. Right? Wrong! You actually can get “madded” by something. If you don’t do something at your job, your co-workers can be “madded” by it. And that’s a real word!

There’s a second real word in this same vein that has tripped people up quite a bit for a very long time: the word “madder.” Back in 2013, Barack Obama caught a ton of flak from grammar nerds and his political rivals alike after he used “madder” during a speech. Everybody thought that he should have said something like “more mad” to describe that to which he was referring. But if you open up a dictionary, “madder” is indeed right there. Obama was right about that one, even if it sounded wrong. And even if the rest of us debate it until we’re blue in the face!^[5]

5 Orientate

As we’ve seen so far on this list, there are a lot of words that people will argue shouldn’t be words. But few raise the anger of grammar nerds and linguistic snobs more than “orientate.” After all, “orient” is a word—and so is “orientation.” But one shouldn’t be able to “orientate” themselves. That’s the thinking of people who are so-called experts in dictionary matters, at least. There’s just one little problem with that: “orientate” actually is in the dictionary. Cry as much as they may, but grammar snobs are fighting a losing battle on this one. And the history involved here goes way, way back. Two hundred years back, in fact!

As it turns out, “orientate” was first used among British speakers of the language back in the 1840s. It was used then as it is now—as a version of “orient,” working as a verb meant for one to determine their bearings or direction. Across the pond in the United States, Americans mostly stuck with “orient” then as now. But the British kept churning on with “orientate.” And before long, people started using the two words interchangeably. Eventually, the word made its way across the pond. And now, “orientate” operates on both ends of the Atlantic Ocean. Even if the snobbiest grammar followers among us may fight it!^[6]

4 Gonna

What if we told you that “gonna” is actually a word? What are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna fight us? Are you gonna spell-check us? Are you gonna roll your eyes, sigh, and steel yourselves for the facts that we’re about to drop? Not only is “gonna” a word (sorry, sticklers), but it’s actually been a word since way back in 1806! The casual contraction of “going to” was first officially documented and added to a dictionary in that year. Dictionary makers and linguists of that era had heard people contracting “going to” into “gonna” and decided to make it official in their word lists.

In the last couple of decades, words like “gonna” have taken on new importance with the rise of text message lingo. Whenever possible, we like to shorten words and keep things on point when it comes to texting people, tweeting them, or posting on various other social media accounts. Naturally, “gonna” fits well with that. But as we now know, the word fits with much more than that, too. After all, there were no text messages back in 1806. But “gonna” still found its way into the dictionary, regardless!^[7]

3 Anyways

To hear a modern-day English teacher or copy editor explain things, you would think that “anyway” is the only acceptable word. But did you know that the word “anyways” isn’t just in the dictionary, but that it’s been in common use for more than 800 years? The word “anyways” dates all the way back to the 13th century and is documented in literature from that period. Over the next several centuries, it very gradually fell out of favor. In its place, English speakers dropped the “s” and instead used the word “anyway” to change the subject.

Today, most dictionaries list the two versions of the word as workable synonyms. While most modern people still drop the “s” and favor “anyway” over its cousin, both words are technically correct. If we’re being technical, “anyways” is a bit more commonly used in North America than it is in the United Kingdom and other places that speak English. But wherever you may be reading this, don’t let geography stop you. “Anyways” is a legitimate word, and if anybody tries to call you on that, just open a dictionary and prove them wrong.^[2]

2 Ginormous

You might assume that “ginormous” is a word created by millennials as a way to be goofy online. Instead of calling something “huge” or “humongous,” perhaps these little whipper-snappers opted to create an over-exaggerated new word to get across their thoughts about things that are really, really big. But would you believe us if we told you that “ginormous” actually comes from the World War II era? Well, it’s true!

Though it may feel like a goofy word put out by millennial kids who delayed their adulthood by being goofy online, “ginormous” actually has roots in the 1940s. The first documented and recognized use of the word came in 1942, to be exact. Your assumptions about its roots are correct: it was initially used as an over-exaggerated (and somewhat tongue-in-cheek) portmanteau of “gigantic” and “enormous.” But quickly, it caught on. And today, “ginormous” is a real word that is actually in the dictionary, no matter whether you have reservations about that or not.^[9]

1 Conversate

Not only does “conversate” contain an actual entry in every recognized and legitimate dictionary, but like a lot of the words on this list, it’s actually been around for well over 200 years. Along with “conversating” and “conversated,” the verb meaning “to converse” is a surprisingly common word with a shockingly long history. The first documented uses of “conversate” in newspapers and other written publications come way back in the very early 1800s. From there, the word snowballed its way through our lexicon.

Copy editors might bristle at the thought of using it; after all, why say “conversate” when you can merely say “converse” or even its far simpler cousin “talk”? Taken too far, “conversate” almost sounds like a word that a 12-year-old might use in front of his fellow classmates while trying to sweet-talk through giving a book report on a book he didn’t read. So, we don’t necessarily disagree with you on balking at using it in the real world, but that doesn’t change the fact that “conversate” is a real word.^[10]

+ BONUS: Firstly

Lastly, let’s drop a bonus word in there: firstly. Sure, we know that saying “first” is better than saying “firstly” when it comes to listing off a rundown of bullet points or items in a row. But while it might be extremely awkward to use “firstly” with a straight face, it’s not wrong. If we’re being technical, there are some actual grammar rules to consider here. For one, numbered words like first, second, and third all work as both adjectives and adverbs. Thus, that would make adverbs like “firstly,” “secondly,” and “thirdly” redundant.

To make matters even more pointed, some dictionaries believe that “firstly” is a redundant way to introduce a list or a bulleted number of topics. They actively recommend to people that “first” is a better choice to use than “firstly,” which they claim gets unnecessarily complicated. But enough people have used “firstly” over the years that the dictionaries collectively eventually said “screw it” and added it in as an entry. Today, “firstly” is in every dictionary worth its weight that covers the English language. It’s not ideal, but technically, it’s there. And being technically correct is the best part of being correct!^[10]

Getting drunk is never technically a good idea, but it’s definitely a popular pastime for many of us. If you’re a responsible drinker, then that’s okay! Don’t drive, don’t hurt yourself, don’t hurt anyone else, try not to text your coworkers and things should work out fine. But we’re not here to talk about the responsible drinkers.

There are some people in the world for whom getting drunk is an even worse idea than normal. Doctors, for instance. Pilots. And soldiers. There are a few soldiers in history who should have stuck to milk. 

10. General James Ledlie Got Drunk Before the Battle of the Crater 

In the military, you have a command structure. Many people are on the bottom and a few are on the top. You hope that, at the very top, the person in charge of how the military runs, and how a battle unfolds, is smart, calm, and sober. That’s not always the case, and it wasn’t at the Battle of the Crater in 1864.

The battle took place during the Civil War, and General James Ledlie was a former engineer working with the Union Army. Before his involvement, there was an ongoing issue with Petersburg in Virginia, which became known as the Siege of Petersburg.

A colonel came up with an idea to end the siege by digging a mine and filling it with explosives. This would blow up enemy lines and clear the path to the city. General Grant was ready to use the explosion to seize the town and declare a victory. A day before the mission, the unit selected to lead the charge was replaced by the unit run by Ledlie. He got the job by drawing straws.

Ledlie was not a good soldier if the fact he’s been described as a “drunken coward” is any indication. 

Four tons of explosives went off, the biggest explosion in history to that point. It created a 130-foot by 75-foot crater. It was also 35 feet deep. Many soldiers died instantly, and the force stunned others. Ledlie was drunk and hiding in a bunker when he was supposed to lead the charge. His men ran right into the crater instead of around it. The result was a bloodbath. Thousands died and Ledlie, who never joined the fight, was dismissed from service.

9. Van Zandt County Tried to Secede, Then They All Got Drunk and Captured

Back in the 1860s Texas was all about seceding. Or it was an idea that was popular at the time, at least. But not everyone was on board with that plan and, so the story goes, the people of Van Zandt County voted to secede from Texas. One of those “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” scenarios. 

The county tried to secede first when Texas left the US during the Civil War and then again but this time not just from Texas, but from everything. The county formed its own rebellion and declared war on the United States. 

Because of the rural location of the county, troops could not reach Van Zandt to quell the uprising so after war was declared, no one fought back. That was essentially a win by forfeit and what do you do when you win? You celebrate. So, everyone in the Free State of Van Zandt got drunk.

The next day, federal soldiers moved in and pretty much arrested the entire drunken county. Some of them escaped but by that time the idea of war was not floating anyone’s boat so they settled back in as proper American citizens.  

8. Soviet Soldiers Drank the Cooling Alcohol Needed for the Mig25 

Russians have a bit of a reputation as heavy drinkers and stories like this one will not change that perception at all. Back in the Soviet days, Russian troops had jets called the Foxbat, or the MiG-25. These were interceptors and recon jets and they were as fast as anything. But they were also nicknamed the Flying Restaurant. 

The MiG used alcohol for a lot of things. It was a hydraulic fluid; it cooled the engines; it de-iced the planes and because it was so important they kept a hell of a lot on board. There was a 132-gallon tank of it on board and Soviet troops were known to dip in and drink some when the opportunity arose. The fact that they ended up giving it a nickname ought to be some indication of how often it happened. 

7. Three Russian Soldiers Got Drunk and Blew Themselves Up at a BBQ

In 2023, three soldiers on a supply run in the middle of the Russian war with Ukraine decided to have a stopover at a house party, complete with a barbecue. The group was three out of five who had a few days to head out for supplies and used their downtime to get a little drunk and grill up some meat.

At some point, the drinking led to arguing. While two soldiers left, the three that remained pulled out a grenade and things got out of hand when it went off, killing all three of them. It’s not clear how or why it went off. Whatever the reason, it’s a solid demonstration of why you shouldn’t get into drunken fights with people who have grenades. 

6. US Soldiers in WWII Mixed “Torpedo Juice”

With a name like torpedo juice you know this has to be good. Or horrifying. Or maybe both. In any case, in the modern world, you can go to a bar and order a torpedo juice right now. What you should get is a simple cocktail made of alcohol and pineapple juice. The basic makeup can change a little — maybe you want rum, or vodka, or gin. Who knows? But that’s it. Two parts booze to three parts juice. So what does that have to do with torpedoes?

Back in WWII, sailors on submarines were more hard up for drinks than most since, you know, they were underwater. A sub didn’t have a ton of storage space for booze at the best of times and, if they were on a mission, what little they might have had would inevitably run out. But the torpedoes on board used 180 proof grain alcohol as fuel, and it was more or less drinkable.

Once the Navy found out sailors were pinching the booze, they tainted it with croton oil to make it give the men cramps and diarrhea, and, well; they underestimated how much a man in a metal tube under the sea wants to drink. They simply had to distill the booze over again, remove the oil, and add juice to taste. Thus, torpedo juice was born. 

5. Charles Jenkins Got Drunk and Defected to North Korea

Some people make terrible decisions when they get drunk. And then there’s Charles Jenkins who defected to North Korea. That ought to put all of your poor decisions in perspective.

Jenkins was stationed along the border between North and South Korea in 1964 when he was just 24. After 10 beers, he told his squad he’d heard a noise that he was going to check out and that was the end of that. He surrendered to North Korean officers because he was afraid of being sent to Vietnam. 

Once in the country, he got to spend seven years studying the writing of Kim Il-Sung until he memorized it, in Korean. They also cut off his army tattoo with scissors. They forced him to marry a Japanese woman who had also been held against her will. They eventually fell in love for real and when North Korea released some Japanese prisoners years later, Jenkins’ wife was one. He, and their children, were later allowed to join her. That was in 2004, 40 years after his arrival.

4. A Town Escaped Destruction in the Thirty Years War Because of a Drinking Contest

You have to respect someone who can perform an incredible feat of strength, endurance, or drinking. It’s just hard not to. The mayor of the German town of Rothenburg ob der Tauber is one of those people who deserves respect. He saved the entire population of his town because he was an absolute monster at drinking wine. 

In 1631, during the Thirty Years War, a Catholic named Count Tilly planned to sack and destroy the protestant town of Rothenburg ob der Tauber. The people tried anything to get him to leave but there was only one deal he was willing to make. They had given him a tankard of local wine that held 3.25 liters. If anyone in town could chug the whole thing, he’d leave. 

The mayor, with the powerhouse name of Bürgermeister George Nusch (Burgermeister basically means mayor), took up the challenge and downed that remarkable volume of wine in a single gulp. And, being a time of honoring one’s word, the Count left the town as he found it. 

3. A Spanish Invasion Ended When the Invading Brits Got Too Drunk at a Winery

In 1625 things in Spain could have gone badly for the locals if not for the fact Brits really like to drink. A pair of noblemen had convinced Charles I that invading Spain would be a fine idea and maybe they’d get rich off of Spanish gold at the same time. One man, George Villiers, had a beef with the Spanish who hated him so much on his previous visit that they’d asked the King to execute him.  So they hatched a scheme and set off for Spain.

Nearly everything that could go wrong did. Storms forced many of the ships back and also were avoided by the Spanish so there were no ships to loot. The British were running out of food and water and had to land at a city sacked years in the past that had long since improved its defenses – Cadiz. 

The British couldn’t get past the wall so they plundered the abandoned buildings outside. There was no food, but they found stores of wine and proceeded to get incredibly drunk. By the time the Spanish arrived, all the British were drunk. Those that could escaped, and over 1,000 were slaughtered, probably still very inebriated. The expedition returned to England with nothing.

2. In 1916, Thousands of Drunken Aussie Soldiers Caused a Riot

Australia is known as a pretty tough place and the Aussie population are no strangers to enjoying a frosty, adult beverage now and then. They’re also known as a sometimes unruly bunch, which may explain the events of the 1916 Soldier’s Riot.

About 3,000 Aussie troops stationed in Sydney were already displeased with their lack of space, lack of leave time, and lack of alcohol in the canteen. Someone then informed them, on Valentine’s Day, that they were going to be doing four and a half hours more of training per week, putting them over 40 hours total. The men did not approve.

The Australians immediately left camp and went on strike. 3,000 of them headed into Liverpool, a small suburb of Sydney, and trashed the place. They broke into businesses, filled anything they could with alcohol, and trashed anything that sounded German. 

The events turned violent, soldiers clashed with police and at the end of the day several were injured and one man died.

The events of the day ended up leading to a report on the military camp in Liverpool which suggested liquor should not be provided to soldiers from local hotels or public houses.

1. During Their Celebrations After the End of WWII Russia Ran Out of Vodka

Back to Russia for one last tale of absolutely epic drinking that seems like an impossible feat. There was once a time, at the end of WWII, when Russians ran out of vodka because they drank it all in celebration of the end of the war.

The end of the war was announced on the radio at just after one am on May 9, 1945. The entire country went ballistic and, a mere 22 hours later when Stalin made his address to the nation, no one had an ounce of vodka left to their name. Reports said no one had any left in stock on the 10th. 

People were in the streets in pajamas getting drunk and everyone seemed to be getting drunk with everyone else, even those who never normally drank. In fairness, production had been limited because of the war so there was already less vodka in the country, but the celebration ensured that everyone had to start from scratch to get new stuff.

Christopher Columbus still has his own holiday. Today, most people are at least dimly aware that Columbus wasn’t exactly a great guy, but somehow, he’s still managed to hold on to a little dignity and respect. It was a different time, some might say; or, perhaps, he was no worse than the rest.

SEE ALSO: 10 Rarely Told Tales Of Columbus, History’s Greatest Explorer

But Christopher Columbus wasn’t just your standard careless colonialist. The things he did were so twisted that even the people of his own time thought of him as a monster. Most of it is so brutal it gets cut out of history books in the name of good taste, but the real Columbus was far, far worse than you ever could have imagined.

We’re going to tell you the real story of Christopher Columbus. So get ready—because this is going to get pretty messed up.

10 He Cut The Hands Off Of Natives Who Didn’t Bring Him Enough Gold

Columbus, upon reaching the New World, had written back to the Spanish lord promising “as much gold as they need . . . and as many slaves as they ask.” Now, though, he had to prove he could do it—even if it took a massacre.

He started rounding up natives and locking them in pens. Some were sent to Spain as slaves—though nearly half died during the voyage—and the rest were put to work gathering gold. Every member of the Arawak people who was 14 or older was sent into a part of Haiti were Columbus believed huge gold fields were hiding.

Any native who came back with enough gold to satisfy Columbus was given a copper token to hang around his neck, which meant he was allowed to live. Any native spotted without the token was to have his hands chopped off on the spot. This wasn’t just amputation; the wounds were left untreated, and the victims were allowed to bleed out until they died.^[1]

There was next to no gold in Haiti, which meant it was almost impossible to bring Columbus what he demanded. Most, realizing it was impossible, tried to flee, so the Spaniards hunted them down with dogs and killed every person they could find.

9 Columbus’s Men Tested Their Blades By Killing People

“My eyes have seen these acts so foreign to human nature, and now I tremble as I write.”

This was the report that Bartolome de las Casas, a priest who had joined Columbus’s men in New World, sent back home to Europe. He’d witnessed how the Spaniards treated the natives, and what he described was worse than any horror story.

Columbus’s men, Bartolome said, would round up natives and slice off parts of their bodies to test the sharpness of their blades. Just to pass the time, he wrote, the Spaniards “made bets as to who would slit a man in two, or cut off his head in one blow.”

They didn’t stop their massacres at adult men, though. As sport, Columbus’s crew would tear babies out of their mothers’ arms and dash their heads against rocks—or worse. According to Bartolome: “They spitted the bodies of other babes, together with their mothers and all who were before them, on their swords.”^[2]

People were massacred, sometimes just as a way to pass the time. “A stream of blood was running,” Bartolome said, through the native villages after Columbus arrived, “as if a great number of cows had perished.”

8 Columbus Also Mutilated His Own Spaniards

Columbus didn’t stop at torturing the natives; he tortured his own men, too. As he stayed on in the New World and food became scarce, he started to starve his men out. He’d fill his ships with an abundance of food, but he wouldn’t share it with his settlers, even when they began dying of starvation.

Instead, Columbus set up a strict set of rules, promising to hang anyone who so much as stole bread. Often, though, his actual punishments were even more depraved. When a cabin boy stole a fish out of another man’s trap, Columbus had the boy’s hand nailed to the spot where he’d stolen the fish. And when another young boy was caught stealing corn, Columbus had his ears and nose cut off and then had him whipped, shackled, and finally sold into slavery.

He even tortured people for simply buying food with their own money. A group of a dozen Spanish men was tied together by their necks and feet and publicly whipped for buying pork and bread. Their crime, Columbus declared, was that they had “bartered and gave gold without the Admiral’s permission.”^[3]

By the time Columbus left, 50 of his men had died of starvation. He, though, stayed fairly plump—by strict command. In fact, when one of his men failed to get enough food for his pantry, Columbus had him stripped naked and whipped with 100 lashes.

7 Women Were Regularly Paraded Naked Through The Streets

When a Spanish woman upset Columbus, he took a bit of different route. He didn’t stop at whipping her or hanging her; he made sure she was humiliated. Specifically, he’d strip her naked, put her on a mule, and parade her through town.

Columbus’s group did this at least three times. The first was a sentence given out by Christopher Columbus himself, who accused a woman of “falsely claiming to be pregnant” and, as punishment, had her stripped naked and paraded through town.

His brother Bartolome followed his example a little later when a woman accused them of being the sons of a common journeyman.^[4] Again, he stripped her naked and had her shown off to the town on a mule—and then, for good measure, he had her tongue cut out. Christopher was thrilled and publicly congratulated Bartolome for defending the family’s good name.

Then another official did it to a woman named Teresa de Vaeca because her friend had an affair. Teresa herself hadn’t done anything—it was her friend who had the affair—but they still felt she deserved “the punishment for pimping,” which was to be stripped naked, given 100 lashes, and have her tongue cut out.

6 He Started A Child Sex Slave Ring

When Columbus realized that there was more money to be made in prostitution than there was in cultivating land, he started a ring of sex slaves. This, he believed, was just good business. “A hundred castellanos are as easily obtained for a woman as for a farm,” he wrote in a letter home, so how, he felt, could he be faulted for dragging away women and selling them to be brutally raped?

The women weren’t willing participants—nor were they, for that matter, always women. Little girls, Columbus said, were the most profitable. He wrote that “those from nine to ten are now in demand.”^[5]

The stories that came out of it are horrifying. One man, named Michele de Cuneo, wrote that Columbus gifted him a young girl to use as a sex slave. “Since I wanted to have my way with her and she was not willing, she worked me over so badly with her nails that I wished I had never begun,” Cuneo wrote in a letter. “I got a rope and tied her up so tightly that she made unheard of cries which you wouldn’t have believed. At the end, we got along so well that, let me tell you, it seemed she had studied at a school for whores.”

5 He Lied About Being The First Person To Spot Land

It wasn’t all murders and massacres, though. Sometimes, Columbus was just petty. Even before he’d set foot in the New World, he was ruining people’s lives.

Before Columbus sailed west, the king and queen of Spain promised a lifetime pension to whoever first spotted land. Columbus’s men, hoping never to have to work another day in their lives, kept an eye out at every moment—until one night, two hours after midnight, Rodrigo de Triaga caught the first glimpse of land over the horizon.

When they reported back to Spain, though, Columbus interjected that he had noticed a light “which appeared like a candle” the day before, and though he hadn’t told his men he’d spotted land, he still felt it was only right that he get the money and Rodrigo de Triaga get nothing.^[6]

As the leader of the expedition, Columbus probably didn’t need the money. According to his contemporaries, he just wanted to be able to say he was the first to spot land. So, for the sake of his pride, he stole a lifetime pension and a place in the history books from one of his own men.

4 He Paraded Dismembered Bodies Through Town

After they’d been mutilated, run down with dogs, and sold into sexual slavery, some of the Arawak natives decided to fight back. They put up the best resistance they could, revolting against Columbus and his men and trying to chase them away—but they didn’t have much of a chance.

The Spaniards had armor, muskets, swords, and horses, so the rebellion was crushed pretty quickly. Columbus and his men hung some of their prisoners, enslaved others, and even burned some of them alive.

Then, to make a point, they dismembered the bodies of the dead and marched through the native towns, parading the mutilated corpses to send a message.^[7] Anyone who tried to fight Columbus, they were warning them, would meet the same fate.

3 He Pretended To Be God To Keep The Natives Working For Him

When they realized they couldn’t kill Columbus, the Arawaks tried another approach: starving him out. Columbus hadn’t really figured out how to survive on his own in the New World; he relied on the food the natives gave him. So, the people in Jamaica decided to just stop feeding him, hoping he’d give up and go away.

Columbus, though, managed to trick them into giving up their food by pretending to have magic powers. He used an astronomical table to figure out when the next lunar eclipse would hit. Then, moments before the eclipse began, he told them that his god was angry with them and that the Moon would now appear inflamed with wrath.

“They came running from every direction to the ships, laden with provisions,” Columbus’s son Ferdinand gleefully wrote, describing it, “praying the Admiral to intercede by all means with God on their behalf; that he might not visit his wrath upon them.”^[8]

It’s a fairly well-known story—but what’s usually left out is the context. Columbus’s triumph came after he’d massacred their people, and the natives were just doing what they could to spare their own lives.

2 The Arawaks Committed Mass Suicide Rather Than Live With Columbus

With no way to escape from Columbus, the Arawaks of Haiti just gave up. Death, they believed, was inevitable. The only hope they had was to spare themselves from the pain and torture they’d experience at Columbus’s hands.

They started committing suicide en masse. Whole communities would gather together to kill themselves, sometimes doing so in groups of 100 at a time. Mothers would feed their children cassava poison to let them die peaceful deaths, and the young women swore not to bring another child into the world.

One of the Spaniards there, Perdro de Corboda, wrote home: “Many, when pregnant, have taken something to abort and have aborted. Others after delivery have killed their children with their own hands, so as not to leave them in such oppressive slavery.”^[9] At the peak of mass suicides, 250,000 native Haitians died in just two short years.

1 He Brought Syphilis To Europe

Columbus killed millions of natives, but in what might well be divine retribution, he killed millions more back home. When he and his men came back from the New World, they didn’t just bring back slaves—they brought back syphilis.

The first syphilis outbreak in Europe happened in 1495, shortly after Columbus and his sailors returned. Before Columbus, there hadn’t been any known cases of syphilis in Europe. There are a few researchers who insist they’ve found one, but none have been conclusively proven, and all signs point to the idea the Columbus and his men brought it over with their ring of child sex slaves.^[10]

Some of Columbus’s crewmen ended up serving in a war against Italy, whoring their way across Europe on the way, and soon spread syphilis all across the continent. It was devastating. The first outbreak alone killed more than five million Europeans.

That death toll might even include Christopher Columbus, who died in 1506, after years of fighting through a long and painful illness he’d contracted on his last voyage to the New World. At the time, they called it gout, and today, most think it was Reiter’s syndrome, but some believe that he was taken out by his own disease: syphilis.

Whether you want to be that guy at a party with an iguana on your shoulder, or you just can’t live without an adorable little monkey, odds are, you’re into exotic pets! The exotic pet trade is global, and it includes many cute and interesting animals.

Of course, not everything available is necessarily a good pet. Some are incredibly difficult to care for, while others are just plain dangerous. These ten critters may have seemed like a good idea at first, and there are places where you can own them, but you absolutely shouldn’t.

Top 10 Exotic Pets That Killed Their Owners

10 Prairie Dogs

Prairie dogs are adorable rodents found throughout the Great Plains of the United States. They are often seen standing outside their burrows as lookouts for predators. Prairie dogs are a type of ground squirrel, though they don’t have long bushy tails. Regardless, they are cute little critters, so many people have taken them in as pets.

This is probably the worst thing you can do, but not because of potential damage to your home. Prairie dogs are social creatures that live in family groups of between 15 and 26 individuals. These groups are called “towns,” and they can span a large area. Inside their groups, prairie dogs engage in grooming and oral contact called “kissing.”

Depriving a prairie dog of its social grouping means you will have to take the place of dozens of prairie dogs. Taking one as a pet means you’ll have to spend several hours each day grooming and caring for your prairie dog. This may be fun at first, but eventually, the little furball will see less and less of you (in most situations).

Some people have taken in prairie dogs and managed to care for them properly. However, it’s recommended you take in more than one. Caring for them is difficult and time-consuming, so keeping these critters is a responsibility few can fulfill. Ultimately, it’s far better to leave them alone and watch them from afar.

9 Fennec Foxes

Fennec foxes are one of the few foxes taken in as pets, and they are best known for their large ears. They are the smallest of all the canids, weighing less than 3 lbs. (1.3 kg) at most. Their large ears, small size, and adorable features make them desirable as pets (They look like Pokémon). Still, you need to know what you’re getting into if you adopt one.

Fennec foxes are crepuscular by nature, so they are most active at twilight. Even if they are tamed, this isn’t likely to change, so you’re getting a pet that would undoubtedly wake you early in the morning or keep you up at night. They also love to dig and have been known to create large holes, looking for insects to eat.

It is illegal to own Fennec foxes in most places, so you’ll want to check with your local laws to make sure you can have one. If you cross that hurdle, you’ll need to feed your pet properly, and regular dog food won’t cut it. It can become a large part of their diet, but they’ll need more.

You have to supplement their diet with fresh fruit, vegetables, and freshly killed rodents. They will live longer in captivity (14 years instead of 10), but they require a lot of specialized attention and accommodation. They should not be adopted lightly, so do your research and prepare accordingly if you insist on having one.

8 Servals

A serval is a species of wild cat found throughout the non-rainforest regions of Africa. They evolved to have the longest legs of any cat (relative to body size) and are often spotted with a golden-yellow coat. They are gorgeous animals, and while they look somewhat like a domesticated cat, that’s not what they are.

Some serval cats have been tamed, but they aren’t a domesticated species. Despite this, they have held a place in human history for quite some time. Their representation has been found in 4,000-year-old Egyptian art. They were often given as gifts from Nubia, but today, they’re a part of the exotic pet trade.

Servals are illegal to own in many places, but some parts of the world welcome them as pets. The biggest problem with keeping them as pets is that people think of them as a sort of exotic cat. In a way, they are, and they aren’t, but the biggest difference between the two is the Serval’s need for a large area to explore and hunt.

They aren’t going to be content sitting on a bed in your apartment — these animals need to stretch those long legs! They require special (expensive) diets and often need specialized veterinary care. They also mark their territory and don’t adjust to litter boxes well. Ultimately, it’s far better to adopt a standard-issue housecat and leave servals to their natural environment.

7 Capybara

The capybara is the largest rodent species, and it looks a lot like a giant guinea pig. Like everything on this list, they are cute and fascinating animals, which can be adopted as pets. Of course, they’re on this list, and you should avoid adopting them for various reasons.

Like prairie dogs, capybara are social creatures, and they usually move about in groups of 100 individuals. Some live in smaller groups, but they are never alone, and they should never be left alone. They’re rather large, but saying these are the largest rodent species may not paint the right picture.

When they think of rodents, people tend to picture mice or other small animals, but these guys can grow to two feet in height (0.6 meters) and weigh in at 170 lbs. (77 kg). That’s significantly larger than most dogs, and because these are social animals, you can’t keep only one… you’re going to need to get several.

Capybara are legal to own in very few places, and if you do keep them, you’re going to need ample space. They will need a pool of standing water and around 12 feet by 20 feet (3.6 to 6 meters) of space per pair of capybara. They may be cute, but keeping them as pets is costly, challenging, and inadvisable.

6 Kinkajous

Kinkajous, also known as “Honey Bears,” are small frugivorous mammals native to Central and South America. They are related to raccoons, and while they look a bit like primates, they aren’t related to them. They live in the trees and are nocturnal, so they don’t interact with people in the wild.

They are hunted in their natural habitat for the exotic pet industry, though it can be difficult to purchase one. Still, you can get kinkajous as pets in some parts of the world, but like everything on this list, you shouldn’t unless you have a lot of time, money, and space.

Kinkajous may be kept as pets, but they are rarely considered tame. They tend to scratch and bite their keepers in zoos and in homes, so they don’t make for great pets. Their saliva carries dangerous bacteria, which can cause severe and potentially deadly reactions in some people if they are bitten.

Aside from the potential danger, it’s difficult to house a kinkajou in an environment suitable for them. They live in dark rainforests, so they have light, humidity, and flora requirements that can be difficult to maintain. You can get them as pets, but it’s best to leave these creatures in their native habitat.

5 Sloths

Sloths have become popular critters, thanks to the plethora of photographs and videos shared online. They are adorable little slow-moving animals, and pretty much anyone who sees one immediately wants to adopt it as a pet. They are actually legal to own in many places, leading people to believe they could be good family pets. Of course, they’re on this list, so they aren’t!

Sloths may seem cute, so they don’t seem threatening, but they are wild animals. Sloths haven’t been domesticated, and they need to remain in their natural habitat. They thrive in the canopy of tropical rainforests and don’t do well in captivity, even if you take great care of them.

Despite appearances, sloths can be dangerous to people. They have large sharp teeth, and they aren’t afraid to use them. A bite can deliver a bacterial danger to a human, but more than that, they are strong. Pound for pound, a sloth is three times stronger than an average person, so an aggressive sloth can be dangerous.

For the most part, a sloth makes for a lousy pet because it’s stressful for the animal. These aren’t creatures accustomed to humans, so they don’t adapt well to captivity. While it’s true they will live longer if well cared for, they are best left to trained keepers or their natural habitat.

4 Monkeys

There’s no denying that monkeys are adorable. They look like furry little babies you can play with and enjoy. Even Ross had one on Friends for a little while, though David Schwimmer said how much he hated working with it. Monkeys are cute, but they don’t make great pets.

It is legal (in some places) to adopt a monkey, and there are several options. You can legally adopt a capuchin, guenon, tamarin, marmoset, macaque, or squirrel monkey. Ross had a capuchin, which is the most common monkey pet. They are also often used as animal actors, so you’ve probably seen them acting cute on TV.

The reality of owning a small monkey is far different than whatever makes it out of the editing process on a TV show. They can be expensive to buy (around $7,000 and up), and caring for them is also costly. They require diapers, special food, specialized veterinary care, and a lot of attention.

Monkeys can become aggressive and dangerous to you and your family. They can’t be kept in a small home either, as they require a large area to jump and climb. Keeping them in the house is often seen as cruel, so if you want to see a monkey, the best thing you could do is head to your local zoo.

3 Chimpanzees

If your interest in primates extends beyond monkeys, you may decide to bring a chimpanzee into your home. These members of the Great Ape family are our closest animal relatives, so they would make excellent pets, right? No, no, and a thousand more noes! Unfortunately, keeping a chimp is not a good idea.

Regardless, you can keep them in pets in some areas of the world, though it’s illegal in most places. Like monkeys, they require diapers outside their enclosures, as they’ve yet to master toilets. If that doesn’t dissuade you from getting one, they can live for up to 60 years in captivity and require a massive amount of time, money, and attention.

If you’re still on the fence about getting a chimpanzee as a pet, you need to understand that these creatures are unpredictable and incredibly strong. A chimp can weigh up to 154 lbs. (70 kg) and stand as much as 4 feet 11 inches (150 cm). They are also around 1.5 times stronger than a human.

Chimps have been known to become enraged and maul humans. They have the strength to rip a person’s face off. Literally. They are dangerous to strangers and their caregivers, so do as the good Dame Jane Goodall advises, and do not try to keep a chimpanzee as a pet!

2 Tigers

If you watched Tiger King, you’re probably aware of the sad fact that there are more tigers in captivity in the United States than there are in the wild. It’s unfortunate but true, and the numbers are staggering. Around 5,000 of the big cats reside in the U.S., while only an estimated 3,900 are in the wild.

Despite being the largest cats in the world and an apex predator, people have been keeping tigers as pets for centuries. Tigers are, in no way, domesticated animals. They can be kept as pets in loving environments, but at the end of the day, you’re bringing a 600 lb. (272 kg), 11 foot (3.3 meters) monster of teeth and muscle into your home.

While many tigers live in the States, they are illegal to keep in most places. The biggest problem with keeping a tiger is that they need a large area and a lot of food to remain healthy. You can’t take them to the local vet either, so you’re looking at a massive expense that is always hungry.

Captive tigers eat around 9-18 lbs. (4-8 kg) of raw meat five days a week. On top of that, they need to roam in a territory of up to 40 miles (64 km) for males. Females can work with a smaller area, but most people can’t accommodate either. They can be incredibly dangerous, and they can and will eat you should they choose to do so — there’s not a lot you can do to stop that.

1 Bears

Bears are the largest land carnivore roaming the world today. While they do look adorable, they are insanely dangerous. Depending on the species, some bears can grow to massive proportions, and their claws are like small blades attached to all of their paws (which are huge). Despite this, there are plenty of people who have kept them as pets over the years.

Caring for a bear is as difficult as it sounds, but some people do it. They can very rarely make good pets, but only to certain people in very specific situations. Most countries do not allow their citizens to keep bears as pets, but some areas permit special licenses. Still, it’s not advised to take a bear home with you if you’re not a professional keeper… even then, it’s inadvisable.

Bears are large animals weighing up to 1,500 lbs. (680 kg), and they grow quickly. A bear cub can grow into an adult in very short order, and caring for them is not easy. They require a lot of food and a large enough place for them to roam about. They aren’t going to be happy in a small enclosure.

If your pet bear decides it doesn’t like you anymore, that’s pretty much it. In the war between human and bear, the human doesn’t come out on top. These are massive beasts with sharp claws, huge teeth, and the strength to tear a person apart.

10 Uncomfortably Odd Stories Of Exotic Pets

Our world is filled with fascinating creatures. But while some creatures are believable, some have characteristics so inconceivable that we might as well assume they were created by fiction writers. From hideous birds that sound like gunshots to shrimp that strike harder than Muhammad Ali, nature is one unpredictable force. This list of the top 10 species that shouldn’t exist takes you worldwide to show you that anything is possible in nature.

10 Shoebill: Pixar-esque Bird Mimics Machine Guns

If looks could kill, the shoebill, also known as the whale-head stork, could have you dead in seconds. One crazy-looking foul, the shoebill gets its name from its gigantic shoe-shaped bill that easily earns it the ‘ugliest bird award.’ If we’re being honest, the shoebill stork looks like it was drawn by a child with an overactive imagination and a dark sense of humor.

Scientifically known as ‘Balaeniceps rex,’ the shoebill is a large bird that looks like it could attack at any second. With a specialized bill, yellow eyes, and a five-foot wingspan, the shoebill uses a hunting technique known as “collapsing.” This means that when they set their eyes on prey, they charge at them with a sudden force that eliminates any chances of survival. The technique is especially strange considering they can stay motionless for hours, making them very dangerous to unsuspecting prey.

While the shoebill is mostly silent and uses its cold stare to keep off any predators, it can be noisy too. It’s famous for a call that sounds like machine gunfire. When nesting, they clap their lower and upper jaws to create repetitive bursts that sound like something straight out of WWII. Shoebills use the bizarre call to greet each other but that doesn’t make it any less alarming.

9 Aye-Ayes: Nature’s Take On Aliens

If you always wonder what ‘aliens’ look like, you might want to look at aye-ayes first to get a rough idea. The Madagascan Aye-aye is an endangered lemur that looks like a panda, rat, and raccoon hybrid, something you might see in a sci-fi film. With big eyes, long slender fingers, humongous ears, and a large bushy tail, the aye-aye is one peculiar mammal.

Scientifically known as ‘Daubentonia madagascariensis,’ the aye-aye is a survivor that lives on trees and feeds mostly on insects and worms. With its long, skinny, pointed middle finger, the aye-aye taps on tree barks while listening closely for wood-boring insects. Once it finds its prey, the lemur uses its freaky finger to fish out bugs and devour them for snacks. The bony fingers are also useful for scooping pulp from mangoes and flesh from coconuts.

For protection, the aye-aye never comes to the ground, choosing hideout spots in the forks of large trees. Sadly, given their odd traits and appearance, aye-ayes are seen as an omen of bad luck by locals who kill them on sight. The illegal hunting and destruction of their habitat make the wild a tough place for these mammals.

8 Platypus: Perfectly Weird Hybrid of Birds, Reptiles, and Mammals

Australia is home to some peculiar creatures but the duck-billed platypus tops the list for the weirdest species ever. Since their discovery, scientists have wondered how they should classify the platypus. They just don’t fit in anywhere. They lay eggs like a chicken, nurse their young ones with milk like cows, and hunt underwater like seals.

Classified under a group of mammals called monotremes, the platypus are unique mammals that are famous for their egg-laying ability. With the characteristics of mammals, reptiles, and birds, the platypus is easily one of nature’s most adaptable creatures. But while the duck-billed platypus might look weird, its incredible skills are useful for survival in the wild.

The platypus’ babies lick milk from specialized skin that “sweats” milk, providing much-needed nutrition. When swimming in the water, the platypus feeds at the bottom of the murky waters, with its bill acting as an electro sensor for locating buried prey like shrimp. When threatened, male platypus has a venomous spur in its hind legs that works to keep away predators and other males. The females use their tails as the perfect natural incubator for eggs, ensuring that younglings hatch in any weather. So, the mystery aside, the platypus is pretty cool.

7 Mantis Shrimp: Packing a Punch

The mantis shrimp or ‘Stomatopod’ is one of the most beautiful sea creatures… predisposed to violent outbursts. The vibrant underwater predator is known to have one of the world’s strongest pound-for-pound punches. Studies have shown that they strike with the force of a .22 caliber bullet—a shell-breaking force! You can’t even keep the mantis shrimp in aquarium glass boxes.

There are over 450 species around the world, though this crustacean lives in tropical waters. Whether they’re brown, red, blue, or green, they share the same characteristics as territorial sea creatures that live in coral reefs. Given their striking power and attack styles, the mantis shrimp often target animals much larger than themselves.

To kill their prey, they use spearing or smashing techniques that are both equally deadly. An interesting aspect of the mantis shrimp’s hunting style is that the force it takes to hit their target causes water to vaporize. This means even if the first strike doesn’t kill prey, the sharp implosion of extremely high heat and light that follows will finish the job. On a lighter note, the shrimp can see a wide spectrum of colors that the human eye can’t even process. 

6 Horror Frog: The Werewolf of Amphibians

If mother nature ever produced a horror movie, this aptly named horror frog would be the perfect villain. Also called the ‘hairy frog,’ this scary-looking croaker from Central Africa is distinctive for the strands of hair that grow on its back and legs. Yet, the hairy look is not the end of this amphibian’s story. The horror frog is best known for its ability to break its own bones to produce claws in an instant. It sounds like something straight out of a Wes Craven flick. 

The frog is a living, breathing assassin. Scientifically known as ‘Trichobatrachus robustus,’ the horror frog’s hind legs are made from bones hidden right underneath the skin. When threatened, the muscles connected to the bony claws contract exposing claws used to strike at the enemy. The claws aside, the frogs get their name from the hairy appearance that plays an important role in the breeding season. Male frogs develop hairy strands to accommodate more oxygen to make up for their small lungs.

In Cameroon, the carnivorous frog is a popular culinary delight for locals. Given their violent nature, spears are used to strike them from a distance, making them a lethal dinner option.

5 Pangolins: A Tough Nut to Crack

The pangolin looks like it’s always ready for war. Its scales might be the most efficient armor ever naturally created, giving this insect-eating mammal from Africa and Asia one tough exterior. Despite their scaly shells, they can roll into a ball when they feel threatened, adding extra protection. When it’s curled up, even a lion or tiger won’t know what to do since it’s impossible to hurt the mammal.

Between its two home continents, there are about eight Pangolin species that belong to the Manidae family. An aspect that makes pangolins extra surreal is that their scales are made from keratin that grows throughout their lifetime. Keratin is a protein responsible for the formation of fingernails and hair in humans. For pangolins, the tip-to-tail scales overlap to create a distinct look.

While hunting, pangolins use their strong sense of smell to track termites and with their strong claws, they can dig deep into the ground. Once they locate an insect nest, pangolins use their long, muscular, and sticky tongues to feed. A shocking fact is that despite their armor, pangolins are capable swimmers and climbers. They can also spray noxious-smelling acid to ward off predators.

4 Axolotls: Forever Young

The axolotl or the ‘Mexican walking fish’ is an adorable-looking amphibian whose regenerative abilities still shock scientists. The axolotl is a salamander that lives in aquatic environments in Mexico where it feeds on worms, insects, and fish. It’s best known for regrowing its organs including the spine, heart, and even some parts of its brain.

Scientifically known as ‘Ambystoma mexicanum,’ axolotls are unique in the amphibian world since they never reach adulthood. Described as neotenic, the axolotl reach adulthood without transforming into adults. This means they never get to live on land like other amphibians. To survive in the aquatic environment, adults have lungs and external gills that give the axolotls their signature cute-face look.

While the axolotls are endangered in the wild, they have become great pet options since they are low maintenance. Their regenerative abilities also make them popular for research. Scientists are trying to figure out whether their unique characteristics can provide medicinal breakthroughs.

3 Musk Deer: A Forest Vampire

Musk deer, also known as the ‘fanged deer’ is a standalone vegetarian with a striking look. Unlike most deer with antlers as their most recognizable feature, the musk deer took the road less traveled. They have long, sharp canine teeth that run past their jaws, just like Count Dracula’s fangs.

The deer that are found in the forests and mountains of Asia belong to the Moschidae family. The grayish-brown deer is adapted for rough terrain and is distinguished by its large ears, short tail, and no antlers. While the fangs look threatening, the male deer only uses them to protect its territory or when breeding to access females.

As their name suggests, the musk deer have musk glands that give out a distinctive scent. They use their musk to mark their territory, which is one of the reasons they’re hunted.

2 Kea: This Playful Parrot Devours the Weak

The Kea parrot is a clever parrot with a craving for meat. Despite its colorful wings, it’s one of the most dangerous birds ever. Known for their intelligence and playfulness, the New Zealand kea is a bird that will eat anything, from seeds to insects and maybe a nice juicy steak? 

Scientifically known as ‘Nestor notabilis’ the kea can be spotted with brilliant orange wings and a beak that is long, narrow, and gracefully curved. The color and monkey-like antics of the omnivorous bird aside, the kea is notorious for attacking sheep and even killing them. Their love for meat makes them destructive pests to farmers. 

The kea are known to burrow into sheep in search of juicier parts, like kidneys. How could a bird be so lovable and dangerous at the same time?  

1 Hooded Pitohui: Don’t You Know that You’re Toxic?

Topping off the list of species that shouldn’t exist is the pitohui, one of the few toxic birds of the world. At first look, the pitohui bird from New Guinea is attractive with a rich chestnut and black plumage. But the pitohui is more than a songbird. Its feathers, skin, and even flesh are toxic.

The bird carries a lethal concoction of batrachotoxin compounds that keep predators and parasites away. Jack Dumbacher, an American scientist discovered that the pitohui gets a dose of batrachotoxins from poisonous melyrid beetles. With the beetles as their primary food source, it’s easy to see where they get their toxicity.

The same compounds that the pitohui have are identified in poisonous dart frogs from South America. The pitohui is one bird you definitely don’t want as a pet.

Although a decent chef can work wonders with any set of culinary tools, having the right ones can definitely help. A set of cookware, cutting boards, and knives are just some of the practical items you’ll see in every kitchen.

But what about the goofy kitchen gadget you impulse bought and only used once? Maybe the gadget only has one specific purpose, or you only use it during the holidays. Either way, at the end of the day, you can easily call these kitchen gadgets unnecessary.

Before you venture out to purchase yet another pair of onion goggles, let’s explore the top ten kitchen gadgets that never should have been invented. Hopefully, this list can save you some money and drawer space in your kitchen. 

10 Pickle Fork

Everybody wants to avoid smelly pickle juice, right? Or maybe you hate sharing a communal pickle jar at company picnics, and you don’t want to stick your fingers into a jar that other people will be grabbing from. While most people would grab a regular fork to jab into a pickle, many people choose to spend $5-$10 on a pickle fork. 

While some may find a pickle fork amusing, others will find the tool practical. In our case, avoid spending your money and use a regular ole’ fork to spear your pickle out of the jar. Avoid your “needed” pickle fork being stuffed into a junk drawer, collecting dust. 

9 PB&J Spreader

PB&J’s, also known as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, is a lunchtime favorite for many. But apparently, enough people seemed to have complained about the assembly process to have an actual PB&J Spreader invented. Many PB&J Spreaders promote sturdy handles, long blades, and features that scrape every last bit of peanut butter out of a jar. 

Instead of purchasing a PB&J Spreader, grab your trusty kitchen knife to do the same work and save your money! Better yet, to scrape all the peanut butter out of the jar, reach for a kitchen spatula. While you may need to use two kitchen tools to complete the task, you will save money and drawer space by avoiding a PB&J spreader’s purchase.

8 Banana Slicer

The banana slicer is another kitchen gadget that just doesn’t make sense. Who wants to spend money on this tool when they have a butter knife available right in their kitchen? It makes economic sense to save money and use what you have. The only benefit we can assign to the banana slicer is the equal uniform cuts it makes. A special dessert or dish may call for these equal slices. 

Despite the one benefit of a banana slicer, most banana slicers only allow you to slice small portions of the banana at one time. In the time it will take you to peel the banana and begin cutting bit by bit, you could have cut the whole banana using a knife and cutting board. 

7 Egg Slicer

Let’s add another cutting tool to our list. The egg slicer seems convenient when you’ll need sliced eggs to toss in a cobb salad, but once again, use a knife you already have. When eating eggs, a person will bite into a hard-boiled egg or cut it in half—there is very little need, if any, for a kitchen gadget specifically geared towards cutting a soft egg.

The egg slicer is another gadget that can create equal shaped cuts with food. While many at-home chefs boast that the egg slicer can cut more than just soft eggs, we don’t see the need when you have knives readily available. And with practice, you can cut food equal in size and shape.

6 Hands-Free Bag Holder

This kitchen gadget will cost you more than $20. The bag holder keeps your plastic bags open and in place while you fill them. Many people who meal prep or make freezer meals find the hands-free bag holder ideal when working in large batches. But we think you should save your money and buy more plastic bags for your snacks.

Hands-free bag holders had to make the list for kitchen gadgets that never should have been invented. Many sandwich bags are made with flat bottoms, so you can set the bag on the counter while filling it with food. If you are worried about making a mess, open the bag and roll the top over itself, creating a cleaner fill. Holding the bag with one hand while filling it is easy, and guess what—free!

5 Bear Paw Meat Shredder

Don’t spend a lot of money on a set of Bear Paw Meat Shredders when you have perfectly good forks sitting in your utensil drawer. You’ll only need two forks to dig into your cooked meat. Using the forks, pull the meat apart in different directions. If your meat is soft enough, the forks will easily shred the meat. 

Many BBQ cookers will use meat shredders due to their durability and ease of use when shredding large quantities of meat. Despite the love from BBQ cookers, meat shredders will only take up precious kitchen drawer space. While they look appealing and easy to use, their function can be completed with items you already have. 

4 Butter Dispenser

Butter dispensers are not a practical gadget, no matter how you slice it.

Working as a large syringe, the butter is pushed out onto your desired food. You will have to take the butter out of its original packaging to use the product. Spreading butter on your food is easy with a knife or even a spatula if you are baking and using large quantities of butter. 

Many chefs find that washing the butter dispenser is the biggest downfall of this time-wasting kitchen gadget. The syringe gets discarded or shoved to the back of your kitchen cabinet. Save yourself the cleaning hassle and just spread your butter with a knife from its container or use your trusty butter dish. 

3 Egg and Bread Toaster

If you need to save on kitchen counter space, this device is not going to help you. This Egg and Bread Toaster is larger than your average toaster. You’ll also need to part with a cool $50 to purchase one. The toaster has large wide slots that will toast your pieces of bread. At the same time, the end of the gadget has a spot to cook an egg simultaneously. 

While the gadget does cook two things at once, users report inconsistencies in cooking temperatures. Also, if you have a big family, you will be spending all morning standing at the egg and bread toaster since it can only cook one egg at a time, which isn’t ideal on busy mornings. 

Use a conventional toaster and stovetop instead to cook your morning breakfast. You’ll have more control over your food’s temperature, and you will save counter space by avoiding another bulky appliance. 

2 Tuna Squish

The Tuna Squish gadget helps to remove water from canned tuna. And for $20 per gadget, it feels like a rip-off. If you’ve experience opening up a can of tuna, you know how to remove the excess water. You only need to press down on the tuna using the lid, then remove the cover and throw it away. It’s not rocket science. 

While many users swear by the device to avoid smelling like tuna from touching the water, we can’t get behind a product with no other use, except for maybe opening a can of cat food. 

1 Jenaluca Herb Scissors

The Jenaluca Herb Scissors function like a regular pair of scissors but with specialized functions. These scissors easily cut herbs using five blades or more, depending on the brand of herb scissors you purchase. The multi-blades allow for precise small cuts of herbs at a fast pace.

Regular kitchen scissors can also cut herbs; they only have the two blades that accomplish the same task. You’ll find the herb scissors to be a waste of kitchen space and money. $15 is a lot with only the guarantee to save tiny bits of time slicing herbs. The scissors are bulkier than regular kitchen scissors due to the multiple blades. If you purchase these, they’ll take up more space in your kitchen than a standard pair of kitchen scissors and only serve one purpose. 

In many of the richer countries of the world, there is an immense variety of food available. Modern supply chains ensure that all products are available year-round. The inventive cook now has a plethora of ingredients available and can make dishes from any part of the planet with produce from their local market.

Virtually unlimited options have led to opportunities to make mistakes. And there are a lot of food combinations out there that really should never have seen the light of day. Here are ten of my favorite, not-so-favorite food combinations that shouldn’t exist.

Related: 10 Foods That Can Cause Bad Dreams

10 Snails with Garlic Butter

Snails have been around for about 500 million years. Being very slow, they evolved two defense mechanisms. First, a shell for protection and then, having no taste whatsoever. Snails must have gone around feeling pretty smug for much of their existence and happy when man started farming, which provided them with endless food. What could possibly go wrong in the snail universe?

Well, unfortunately for the snails, the French turned up. The French have always been an inventive people. They saw the shell not as a protection but as a handy bowl to hold while they were eating the unlucky gastropods. The French have designed special implements for wriggling the reluctant snail out of its shell. So far, so good. One problem remained—the complete lack of flavor. Why not, thought a chef, pour garlic butter over them?

Garlic butter is rich and adds much to many dishes. But it adds nothing to snails. All you can taste is garlic butter with a rubbery lump of slimy something. Definitely not one of France’s many contributions to human culture.

9 Marmite and Marmalade

When the United States kicked out the British, Americans discovered many advantages to cutting loose from the Crown. Not least amongst them was the fact that they were spared the introduction of Marmite. In fact, this staple of many British kitchens was invented by Justus von Liebig, a German who found that brewer’s yeast could be concentrated into a sticky, savory paste and squirted into a jar. The British brewing town of Burton-on-Trent became the site of the first Marmite factory, and the company has made a virtue of the fact that it is not everyone’s cup of tea. It is marketed under the slogan “Love it or hate it.”

Marmite is rich in vitamin B and makes a tasty spread for toast for those who enjoy it. As for me, I think I will steer clear.

8 Fool’s Gold Loaf

Elvis Presley’s waistline expanded as he grew older. Not surprising when you consider that he was eating concoctions such as Fool’s Gold Loaf.

This “sandwich” was a production of a restaurant in Denver, Colorado, called the Colorado Mine Company. To make a Fool’s Gold Loaf, you take a French loaf, smother it in margarine and bake it. You take it out of the oven, cut it lengthwise, and hollow it out. You could stop here and throw it away, but you don’t. Now, you fill it with a whole jar of creamy peanut butter, another jar of grape jelly, and bacon!

So, what has Elvis got to do with this? One night, Elvis was with two friends in Memphis when he got a craving for a Fool’s Gold Loaf. As you do, he called up his pilot and flew to Denver. The restaurant rushed sandwiches and champagne to the airport, and Elvis and friends sat in the hanger happily munching away. In 1976, the sandwich then cost a whopping $49.95—around $230 today!

7 Fabada Asturiana

The Mediterranean coast is the area of sun and sand that most people think of when they think of Spain. But Spain is a country of great variety. The northern coast, for example, is rugged and beautiful. Here the mountains tumble toward the Atlantic. This is a green land where the weather can be harsh. To combat the cold, damp winters in Asturias, the locals have come up with a dish that fights back—Fabada Asturiana. Unfortunately, this powerful combination is hastening the end of life as we know it.

The influence of this dangerous dish has spread all over Spain and now beyond. The explosive combination of white beans, fatty pork, chorizo, and blood pudding has almost immediate repercussions. Methane—an inevitable by-product of fabada—is 25 times more efficient than carbon dioxide in trapping heat.

In 2011, Spain banned smoking in bars and restaurants. The Spanish government justified this on health grounds, but the real reason behind this legislation was, quite possibly, the risk of explosions in places serving fabada.

6 Blue Cheese Ice Cream

After a good dinner, you are faced with a difficult decision. Whether to have a sweet or something from the cheese plate. Some people always opt for one or the other. But a sizeable minority can’t make up their minds. Someone, obviously hoping to save their fellow citizens from the difficulty of deciding, came up with the brilliant idea of combining the two. I give you…blue cheese ice cream.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don’t mean to suggest that the inventor of this travesty is doomed, but we should never have allowed the brainchild into the public space. Ice cream and blue cheese do not mix. It doesn’t matter if you use the best of each—they do not belong together.

5 Beetroot Brownies

Most of us have a weakness for brownies. With a spoonful of ice cream, they are delicious. With a dollop of cream, they are wonderful. But with beetroot? I came across this combination on a website for vegans; I imagine that vegan brownie-lovers were searching for a substitute for dairy products. Now, I have complete respect for vegans, but I can’t condone using beetroot instead of ice cream or cream for a brownie topping.

On a practical level, you have to boil the beetroot for 45 minutes to render them edible. You then combine icing sugar with the beetroot puree (puree is the polite term) and make a beetroot icing topping. After making brownies, you then have to make the topping? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

4 Haggis

We’ve all been there—unexpected guests for dinner and no time to get to the store. If a quick look in your kitchen reveals that all you have on hand is some mixed sheep offal, a turnip, an onion, and a few potatoes, don’t worry, the Scots came up with the perfect answer long ago.

You mince the heart, liver, and lungs of your dead sheep, add onion, diced turnip, and potatoes. After various twists and turns, you shovel the resulting mess into the sheep’s stomach and serve it to your appreciative and admiring guests. Don’t despair if you only have a dead cow or pig; Scottish cuisine allows you to substitute their innards if sheep are not around.

I would hesitate before serving this remarkable dish to anyone you are fond of—you can always order a pizza. But if you do place it before your guests, you can have lots of fun describing how you made it and watch their trusting faces change expression.

3 McChoco Potato

McDonald’s is undoubtedly the most successful international franchise on the planet. It has hit upon a winning formula that generally means that you can go into a McDonald’s in Miami or Minsk and find familiar food. However, the chain is not averse to trying new products to cater to different markets.

In Japan, the company decided to give McChoco Potato a whirl. This imaginative yet straightforward side dish was a plate of fries with milk and white chocolate ladled over the top. It was an inexpensive addition to the menu and seemed reasonably popular. However, McDonald’s only introduced it for a limited time and only in Japan.

Why anyone would want to put chocolate on fries is beyond me. As it’s not illegal to do so, you are free to do this at home but don’t order it in a restaurant, please.

2 Peshwari Naan

I can only imagine a glut of desiccated coconut, nuts, and raisins in Peshawar, Pakistan, when a local decided that it would be a good idea to stuff naan bread with the mixture.

Naan bread is simple and cheap to make and is an ideal side dish with Indian and Pakistani food. Naan bread’s soft and fluffy texture makes it ideal for dips or to chase the last drop of sauce around your plate. But not if it’s sweet!

Some dishes mix sweet and savory with some success. Peshwari naan does not. Fellow diners who order it are likely to spend much of their time picking out the filling rather than eating it. Definitely not a happy combination.

1 Fries (Chips) and Curry Sauce

As a Brit, I find many things about British culture that make me proud. Foreigners tend to laugh about our cooking, but it’s actually not that bad. Indeed, there are some wonderful British dishes. Unfortunately, chips and curry sauce are not one of them.

Always popular, fish and chip shops seem to have introduced this very wrong combination. These popular takeaway places do a lot of business after the pubs close. It’s not hard to imagine that people who had had one too many bought the first rations of chips with curry sauce. But, what’s challenging to grasp is why this terrible combination became so popular. It is a sickly mess that is guaranteed to cause massive indigestion—especially when dumped on top of eight pints of beer.

The recent outbreak of Ebola started in Guinea during December 2013 and has spread to six countries, including the United States. Its arrival in America has made a number of Americans nervous, with one in five people worried they could catch it.

Having a fear of the disease itself is legitimate. It’s a horrible virus that causes cells to explode and then infect other cells, eventually taking over the immune system and attacking every organ. Ebola leads to clotting and bleeding, which causes the body to develop sores and rashes. Victims can also bleed from the ears, eyes and nose before killing them with a combination of failing organs and blood loss after a day or two.

While it’s a terrifying thought to contract such a horrible disease, should you really be worried about it? If you take a closer look at some of the facts and figures surrounding the spread of the Ebola virus, you’ll find that the answer is a resounding no.

10. It’s Easy to Track

One of Ebola’s greatest weaknesses is that in order to spread globally it would have to be done via human-to-human contact. As a result, it’s a fairly easy disease to track, even on a global scale. For example, there’s a website called HealthMap that’s been tracking the spread of the disease since the outbreak.

Also, most people who have contracted the disease live in West Africa or were visiting for work. Others had direct contact with someone who caught the virus while in the area. All the current Ebola cases can be traced back to the West African outbreak. Since the disease follows a logical path and doesn’t appear out of nowhere, it makes it an incredibly easy disease to monitor.

9. Hyper Awareness

There’s no denying that the symptoms of Ebola are terrifying. However, in the grand scheme of things Ebola’s body count isn’t very high, with only 6,000 people dying from it since it emerged in 1976. That’s roughly the same number of people who die every day from respiratory infections.

One of the reasons the disease is common knowledge is the fact that it could infect anyone of any age or gender. However, that’s also one of its greatest weaknesses. When it comes to infectious disease, awareness is a large part of the battle.

According to journalist Randy Shilts, lack of awareness was one of the major reasons HIV spread during the 1980s. In his 1987 book, And the Band Played On, he points out that HIV spread in part because of a lack of government support and media attention, because the victims were often gay men or drug addicts. However, with Ebola making headlines almost everyday since the outbreak, it’s at the height of its awareness.

8. Airports are on High Alert

One of the biggest concerns about Ebola is the spread of the disease on a global level. After all, modern air travel makes it much easier for contagious diseases to spread beyond the local level.

However, there’s a good chance that won’t happen because United States officials have said there are going to be new screening measures that will check passengers’ temperatures and then hold them for questioning if officials are suspicious. Airports in Africa are also screening passengers flying out of the continent.

One worry is that someone who is not yet showing symptoms will board the plane and infect others. However, people only become infectious after displaying symptoms. If someone should break out in symptoms while on the flight, the Center for Disease Control has measures in place to ensure that the virus doesn’t escape into the general public.

7. Experts are Knowledgeable

If you take a look at other major outbreaks and plagues in history, one of the biggest problems was that people didn’t know how the diseases spread. But the World Health Organization is incredibly knowledgeable about Ebola.

While they’re not entirely confident about the exact origin of the disease, they’re pretty sure that it came from fruit bats. What they do know is that the first reported case of death from Ebola was in 1976 in Zaire, which is now the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Since then scientists have been studying the virus, and they understand how the disease works and what steps are needed to limit the spread.

And since they know how it works, they’re able to administer treatments that seem to be working. Simply treating the symptoms has aided in survival rates. Unfortunately, despite knowing a lot about the disease there’s still no cure. However, an experimental drug called brincidofovir has been approved by the FDA to be used in emergency cases.

6. It’s Not Always Fatal

One of the more frightening aspects of the disease is that, according to the media, it has a death rate of 90%. That number was calculated by dividing the number of known infections by the amount of people who died from it. However, the 90% figure was taken from an outbreak in the Democratic Republic of the Congo from 2002 to 2003, which was the deadliest outbreak ever.

The actual rate between 1976 and now is 60% to 65%. And for this outbreak, the number is closer to 54%. The 90% number was influenced by many factors that made treatment difficult, including poor access to medical care and the fact that a civil war was on-going.

5. Most Food Won’t Be Infected

Human aren’t the only ones affected by Ebola. Primates and other mammals can get the disease, most notably the fruit bat, which is a West African delicacy.

Scientists believe that fruit bats are “natural hosts” for the Ebola virus. Residents of West Africa will eat infected fruit bats or other animals, get sick and spread the virus to those around them. So the obvious question is whether or not that could happen elsewhere. The short answer is no, not likely. African bush meat generally isn’t consumed outside of Africa.

The only way food outside of Africa could become infected is if an infected person comes into contact with food or an animal meant for consumption and their blood, feces or urine gets on the food or in the animal. Both scenarios seem unlikely, and there are safeguards at many different levels to ensure that food isn’t messed with.

4. Ebola Can Be Fought

Do you know what the best resistance against Ebola is? Let’s say you touch someone or something owned by someone who has Ebola. Do you have to go into quarantine and hope for the best? Nope — all you have to do is wash your hands with soap or anti-bacterial hand gel.

Areas where outbreaks occur generally lack basic necessities like clean water and soap. So as long as you keep washing your hands, as you should anyway to avoid other illnesses, you shouldn’t have a problem.

3. Spread and Mortality Rates Vary on Location

An inevitable question is “If Ebola really isn’t a problem, then why is there an outbreak in the first place?”

Well, the answer is simple — it’s based on location. One of the main reasons there’s an Ebola outbreak in Africa and there won’t be in places like America is that Americans have easier access to soap and antibacterial gel. If you compare the mortality rate of Ebola in countries with known infections they change based on preparedness, as well as availability and quality of health care. For example, in Guinea the mortality rate is 73%, but in Sierra Leone it’s only 41%. If the disease were to appear in America, chances are it wouldn’t spread as the victims would be quickly quarantined and treated.

2. It Won’t Go Airborne

One of the biggest fears about Ebola is that it will go airborne, or will be transmitted through something like mosquito bites. However, Dr. Peter Piot, who was a co-discover of Ebola and is now the director of the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, says that it’s irresponsible for news organizations to even suggest that the Ebola virus could go airborne. No virus similar to Ebola has mutated so drastically, so quickly, ever. Piot, along with other experts, says that Ebola is not airborne, nor will it be in the future.

1. Almost No Chance of Catching It

There are only a few different ways you can catch Ebola, and the main one is exchanging bodily fluids. It’s mostly passed through blood, feces and vomit, although it has been detected in semen, breast milk and urine. In order to get the disease you have to come into close contact with an infected person and their fluids. The odds are that a massive majority of people outside of the outbreak won’t come into contact with an infected person. In fact, outside of Africa only 14 cases of Ebola are being treated as of September 2014.

The chance of you catching it is rare. One researcher says that the chances of someone outside the outbreak catching it are so incredibly small that the odds are almost non-existent. So relax, and get back to worrying about what foods are giving you cancer.