Welcome to a whirlwind tour of 10 wild adventures undertaken by former royals who chose the road less regal. From Arctic expeditions to courtroom dramas, these ex‑monarchs proved that a royal title does not limit a life of intrigue and daring.

10 wild adventures – Prince Henri d’Orleans (1867–1901)

Henri, a great‑grandson of France’s last king Louis‑Philippe, was born in Ham, England. A 1886 French decree barred him and all other ex‑royals from the elite St. Cyr military academy, prompting him to embark on a globe‑spanning odyssey.

In 1889 he linked up with explorer Gabriel Bonvalot for a 17‑month trek across Asia, traversing Siberia, Turkestan and Tibet, and covering a thousand miles of previously uncharted terrain. The journey earned him a gold medal from the French Geographic Society and another from the British Royal Geographical Society, placing him alongside legends like Stanley and Livingstone, as well as a Legion of Honor cross.

After additional voyages through French colonies, Henri returned to Asia, discovering the source of the Irrawaddy River and charting new routes along the Red River and through Yunnan in southern China. He later penned a book rich with cultural, linguistic, and ethnographic insights.

His final dramatic episode saw him duel Italian Prince Vittorio Emmanuel after accusing Italian troops of cowardice during the Abyssinian campaign. Henri succumbed to illness at 34, leaving a legacy of daring exploration.

9 wild adventures – Charles Joseph Bonaparte (1851–1921)

Charles, a grandson of Napoleon’s younger brother Jérôme and his American wife Elizabeth Patterson, grew up after Napoleon dissolved their marriage and made Jérôme king of Westphalia.

A brilliant scholar, he earned degrees from Harvard and Cambridge before meeting Theodore Roosevelt at a Baltimore civil‑service reform meeting. Later, under Roosevelt’s administration, Charles briefly served as Secretary of the Navy before becoming Attorney General in 1906.

In that role he tackled corruption, land and timber fraud, peonage, and treasury violations, and argued numerous antitrust cases before the Supreme Court, leading to the breakup of the American Tobacco Company. His most lasting contribution was founding a dedicated Bureau of Investigation, which evolved into today’s FBI.

8 wild adventures – Charles Roehenstart (1784–1854)

Charles, a bastard grandson of Bonnie Prince Charlie, was the last realistic Jacobite pretender. His mother, Charlotte, Duchess of Albany, was a daughter of the Prince, and his father was Archbishop Ferdinand de Rohan, making his lineage a tangled web.

After a turbulent childhood—his mother left soon after his birth and died before returning, and the French Revolution sent him to Germany for schooling—Charles entered the Russian army, rising to lieutenant colonel and serving under Duke Alexander of Württemberg. He impressed the Tsarina but fell out of favor when he declined an heiress’s hand.

Financial woes led to a brief imprisonment orchestrated by the British government. Upon release he spent years in the Austrian army, eventually fading into obscurity.

Later life brought twin humiliations: being turned away from the Duke of Württemberg’s residence and witnessing two Stuart impostors emerge before dying quietly in Dunkeld, Scotland.

7 wild adventures – Princess Xenia of IKEA (1986– )

No, IKEA hasn’t crowned itself a kingdom—yet. Its cheeky campaign promises that its beds let you “sleep like a princess,” and to prove it they hired an actual princess.

Xenia claims descent from Friedrich Augustus III, the last king of Saxony, but the Royal House of Wettin rebuffs her, citing her recent ancestors— a farmer and a four‑times‑married hairdresser—and morganatic marriages as disqualifying.

The Wettin head, then 85, denounced her as “a nothing,” insisting she cannot publish a biography and that her self‑styled title is a faux pas against a thousand‑year‑old dynasty.

Undeterred, Xenia leveraged her royal claim for IKEA ads, authored an autobiography, appeared on BBC’s Undercover Princesses and Germany’s The Castle, and even fronted a rock band.

6 wild adventures – Pierre Bonaparte (1815–1881)

Pierre, son of Napoleon’s brother Lucien, earned a reputation as the Bonaparte family’s black sheep. After joining insurrectionist bands in Romagna in 1830, he spent a brief stint with his uncle Joseph in the United States before plunging into Colombia’s civil war in 1832, where, still a teenager, he rose to colonel.

Back in Italy, a clash with the Pope led him to fight papal police—killing an officer—followed by imprisonment at Fort St. Angelo. After release he offered his services to numerous foreign powers, eventually settling into a hunting lifestyle, even confronting Albanian bandits.

The 1848 revolution saw him rush to Paris, win a seat in the National Assembly, sit on the far left, and vote with socialists, loudly proclaiming republicanism. His marriage to a commoner further alienated him from cousin Napoleon III.

After two decades of hunting and debauchery, Pierre resurfaced in 1870, dueling journalist Victor Noir after a dispute with Paschel Grousset. He shot and killed Noir; his acquittal fueled republican sentiment that eventually toppled Napoleon III.

5 wild adventures – Duke Philippe of Orléans (1869–1926)

Another great‑grandson of King Louis‑Philippe, Philippe served as the Orleanist pretender from 1894 to 1926. Like cousin Prince Henri, he was barred from St. Cyr, so he attended Sandhurst and served with the Royal Fusiliers and King’s Royal Rifle Corps in India.

He campaigned in Afghanistan as aide to Lord Roberts and joined Henri for tiger‑hunting escapades in Nepal. Hunting became a lifelong passion, later yielding lions, rhinos, and elephants during East African expeditions.

In 1890 he defied exile laws, returned to Paris, and attempted to enlist as a private in the French army, only to be deported. That same year he began an affair with Australian opera star Nellie Melba, prompting a scandal‑driven divorce and his retreat to Africa.

A keen yachtsman, Philippe embarked on four Arctic voyages in the early 1900s, primarily hunting reindeer and polar bears, yet also delivering scientific insights and discovering a new island.

4 wild adventures – Prince Wilhelm of Prussia (1906–1940)

As the eldest son of Crown Prince Wilhelm, Wilhelm was second‑in‑line to the German throne when the monarchy fell after World War I. He stayed in Germany, studying at the University of Bonn, where he fell for fellow student Dorothea von Salviati.

The ex‑Kaiser, lingering in the Netherlands, vehemently opposed the match, decrying the union as producing “mongrels” and insisting on pure “thoroughbred” bloodlines.

Undeterred, Wilhelm renounced his claim to wed Dorothea. Though he remained a beloved soldier—described as upright, sincere, and courageous—he stayed aloof from plots to replace Hitler, instead fighting with the Wehrmacht during World II.

He was mortally wounded in the Battle of France; his funeral drew 50,000 mourners, evidencing lingering sympathy for the Hohenzollerns. Hitler responded by issuing the Prinzenerlass, barring royals from military service.

3 wild adventures – Achille Murat (1801–1847)

Achille, eldest son of Napoleon’s sister Caroline and Marshal Joachim Murat—king of Naples—escaped to America after his father’s execution in 1815. Settling near Tallahassee, Florida, he became a community leader, rising to colonel in the militia, serving as alderman in 1824, mayor in 1825, and postmaster from 1826 to 1838. He married Catherine Willis Gray, a great‑grandniece of George Washington.

His eccentricities were legendary: he refused to drink water, deeming it “for beasts of the field,” and shunned boot‑washing. His culinary experiments included alligator‑tail soup, roasted crows, boiled owls, stewed cows’ ears, and turkey‑buzzard stew, while his slaves were fed cherry‑tree sawdust.

Following the 1830 French Revolution, Achille briefly returned to Europe in a failed bid to reclaim property, earning a colonel’s commission in the Belgian Foreign Legion before returning home.

He died shortly before the 1848 revolution that restored the Bonapartes, leaving behind a colorful legacy of public service and gastronomic daring.

2 wild adventures – Prince Leka of Albania (1939–2011)

Born during the Italian invasion, Leka was whisked away as an infant and spent his youth hopping between Egypt, France, and England before settling in Spain, where he admired General Franco.

He turned arms dealer, a career that led to his 1979 expulsion from Spain after authorities uncovered an arms cache. He later fled to South Africa via Gabon, reportedly frightening local troops by brandishing a bazooka.

In South Africa he married an Australian woman and welcomed a son, Leka II, in 1982—so much so that the newborn’s maternity ward was temporarily declared Albanian territory.

After communism fell, Leka returned twice: the first time he was deported for an invalid passport that listed his occupation as “King of the Albanians.” The second return, amid the 1997 crisis sparked by pyramid scheme collapses, saw him push for a monarchy referendum, which failed. He then accused the socialist government of vote tampering, rallying crowds with grenades and a pistol.

Forced to flee again, he later received a pardon and spent his final decade peacefully in Albania, campaigning for Kosovan Albanians.

1 wild adventures – David Ochterlony Dyce Sombre (1808–1851)

David, step‑great‑grandson and adopted heir of Begum Sumru, ruler of the Indian princely state of Sardhana, saw the British East India Company seize the principality upon her death in 1836. Though he inherited a sizable fortune, his legal battle stalled, and he journeyed to London to contest the seizure.

While his case lingered, David married Mary Anne Jervis, a viscount’s daughter, and became the first person of Asian descent elected to the British Parliament. His election was annulled for “gross, systematic, and extensive bribery,” and his life unraveled quickly.

His mental state deteriorated: he accused his wife of adultery (even with her own father), challenged numerous figures—including the elderly Duke of Wellington—to duels, shaved off his own eyebrows, assaulted his landlady, and engaged in public urination and defecation. He claimed spirits urged him to ritually kill a cat.

These eccentricities, combined with his oriental customs, dark skin, and obesity, alienated him from British society. Mary Anne’s influential family had him declared insane, seizing his wealth. David escaped custody, fled to France, and launched multiple hearings to regain his fortune, even authoring a book refuting his diagnosis.

Each hearing reaffirmed his lunacy, and he sank deeper into alcoholism and opiate addiction. He also contracted venereal disease from frequent prostitution, treated with mercury, and became addicted to betel nuts, whose psychoactive effects worsened his cognitive decline.

His death was ignominious: numbness in his extremities led him to fall asleep with his feet by a fire, causing blisters that turned septic. His will intended to fund a school in Sardhana, but his wife successfully challenged it. In 1873, courts awarded damages for the East India Company’s illegal seizure of his property.

Miserable, lethargic, and mercilessly pessimistic, Tyler writes to whittle away his time on this speck of cosmic dust called Earth. Should you feel the need to spew vitriol at him, you can do so via email or Facebook.

Top 10 nazi connections have resurfaced in the annals of the British monarchy, reminding us that wealth, power and influence often leave a paper trail. When a family sits atop centuries of history, even the most discreet dealings can be unearthed by future scholars. In recent weeks the royal household has once again found itself under the microscope, and a handful of links to the Nazi era have emerged that historians argue are too intriguing to stay buried.

Top 10 Nazi Connections

10 Edward VIII

If you’ve watched “The King’s Speech,” you already know why Edward VIII commands a place in popular memory. The film spotlights his brother George VI’s reluctant ascent after Edward’s 1936 abdication, but there’s a shadowy side to the former king that rarely makes the silver screen. Contrary to what one might expect from a World I veteran, Edward’s post‑war outlook leaned toward reconciliation with Germany, a stance that grew louder as the 1930s progressed. His open‑heartedness toward the Nazis was noted by contemporary observers, a fact that became especially controversial given his position as heir to the throne.

In 1934 Edward embarked on a romance with the twice‑divorced American Wallis Simpson, a liaison kept from the public eye. British and American intelligence agencies, however, kept a close watch, suspecting Simpson of serving as a German spy. Rumours swirled that she was involved with Joachim von Ribbentrop, Germany’s ambassador, and that she may have funneled sensitive information to Berlin. No concrete proof ever surfaced, and many historians argue the accusations were merely character assaults on a woman daring enough to marry three times.

During the Second World War Edward continued to voice a conciliatory tone, delivering speeches that called for post‑war reconciliation. In 1937 he and Wallis made an official trip to Germany, where they were greeted by cheering crowds, Nazi salutes that they returned, and even a brief tea with Adolf Hitler himself. Decades later, Edward reflected on those moments as “foolish and naive,” yet the lingering question remains whether deeper motives lay beneath his public politeness.

9 Churchill’s Weeders

History’s adage that the victors write the story is often tossed around, but few realize the sheer amount of editorial work required to shape that narrative. Winston Churchill, ever the master of image‑crafting, assembled a covert unit nicknamed “the Weeders” shortly after the war’s end. Their mission: comb through captured German archives in Berlin, hunting for any material that could embarrass the British Crown.

The Weeders uncovered a cache of telegrams from 1940, one of which detailed a conversation between Edward and Wallis with Nazi officials. According to the intercepted message, the couple seemed intrigued by the notion that a German victory might restore Edward to the throne. This tantalising tidbit was quickly seized by Allied intelligence, who deemed it a likely German disinformation campaign intended to sow discord among the Allies.

U.S. President Eisenhower weighed in, labeling the telegrams as probable Nazi fabrications designed to destabilise the British government. Consequently, the documents were withheld from public view until 1957. While the Weeders never produced irrefutable proof of collusion, the very existence of these files fuels speculation about what else might have been buried for a century.

The lingering mystery is whether the Weeders uncovered additional evidence that the royal family demanded be sealed for a hundred years. As the decades roll on, historians continue to wonder what secrets remain locked away, waiting for the right moment to emerge.

8 Operation Willi

Given Edward’s known sympathies for the Nazi regime, it was perhaps inevitable that a desperate, last‑ditch gambit would surface: Operation Willi. After France fell in 1940, the former king and Wallis fled to Spain, a nation that, while officially neutral, had slipped into a “non‑belligerent” stance that effectively aligned it with German interests. The Spanish foreign minister, seeking guidance, consulted Joachim von Ribbentrop, who suggested a two‑week detention of the couple—without disclosing the Nazi hand behind the request.

During this enforced pause, Edward and Wallis journeyed onward to Portugal, where Edward allegedly vented his disdain for the British royal establishment and its policies. The Nazis listened eagerly, seeing an opportunity to either use the couple as peace‑brokers or reinstall Edward as a puppet monarch under German auspices. Meanwhile, Churchill, alerted to the situation, dispatched two telegrams: one urging Edward to return to Britain under threat of court‑martial, the other appointing him Governor of the Bahamas, a post designed to whisk him far from Europe.

Edward appeared to contemplate the Bahamas governorship, but Hitler’s Operation Willi escalated. The plan’s first phase involved intimidation—rocks hurled through windows, ominous bouquets, and rumors of British assassins. On August 1st, when the couple prepared to board a ship in Portugal, the Spanish ambassador attempted to dissuade them, only to have their luggage sabotaged and a bogus bomb threat issued against their vessel.

Despite the pressure, Edward and Wallis managed to escape, effectively ending any viable Nazi scheme to reinstate the couple. Their departure marked the final chapter of Edward’s flirtation with Hitler’s circle.

7 Charles Edward

At sixteen, Charles Edward was dispatched to Germany by his grandmother, Queen Victoria, to assume the dukedom of Saxe‑Coburg‑Gotha—a title tied to the very roots of the British royal house. Unfamiliar with German customs, the young duke immersed himself in his new environment, eventually marrying the niece of Kaiser Wilhelm II. When the First World War erupted, the family’s name shifted from Saxe‑Coburg‑Gotha to Windsor, and Charles chose to side with his German relatives.

During the reign of his brother Edward VIII, Charles sported a full Nazi uniform at the king’s funeral, leveraging the former monarch’s pro‑German leanings. After the abdication, Adolf Hitler appointed Charles as President of the German Red Cross—a position that, while seemingly charitable, was used to facilitate the euthanasia of up to one hundred‑thousand disabled individuals. Post‑war, Charles was detained in a harsh internment camp, awaiting trial. Ill health spared him a prison sentence, but his assets were seized and heavy fines imposed, leaving his royal fortune in ruins.

6 Home Video

Our modern understanding of Nazi atrocities makes it easy to judge past actions with hindsight, but the British royals were not immune to the era’s complex loyalties. In 2015, a 17‑second clip from 1933 resurfaced, showing the Queen Mother, Prince Edward and Princess Elizabeth (the future queen) at Balmoral. All three appear to perform the Nazi salute, with the young Princess Elizabeth leading the gesture.

The palace responded by arguing that the footage was taken before the salute acquired its infamy, and that a child’s innocent gesture should not be weaponised as criticism. Nonetheless, the video sparked a media frenzy, prompting renewed speculation about other undisclosed royal connections to the Third Reich.

5 Princess Alice

While many royals can point to charitable work, Princess Alice of Battenberg—later known as Princess Andrew of Greece—stands out for her direct, life‑saving assistance during the Nazi occupation of Greece. Born partially deaf, Alice’s heightened sensitivity arguably fueled her determination to aid those in peril.

In 1943, when the Nazis overran Greece, a Jewish widow named Rachel Cohen, whose family had long‑standing ties to the British monarchy, sought refuge with Alice. The Cohens—Rachel, her daughter, and later a son—found shelter in Alice’s home. The Gestapo eventually questioned Alice, but she cleverly feigned difficulty understanding the interrogators, using her lip‑reading skills in three languages to stall and protect her guests until liberation the following year.

4 Nazi Costume

Although most royal‑Nazi anecdotes revolve around the 1940s, the most notorious scandal erupted in the 21st century. In 2005, a 20‑year‑old Prince Harry attended a private party dressed as a Nazi, an outfit that ignited a firestorm of public outrage.

Harry’s apology was swift, issued through Clarence House, where his father, Charles, bore much of the criticism. A 2011 biography even suggested that the Queen herself blamed Charles for the incident, casting a shadow over his parental reputation. While the episode didn’t cause lasting damage to the institution, it remains a vivid reminder of how past symbols can haunt modern royals.

3 Prince Ernst

Prince Ernst August of Hanover, a descendant of Queen Victoria and brother‑in‑law to the current British monarch, lives a life steeped in controversy—from public urination incidents to alleged assault charges. Yet his lineage also ties him to darker chapters of history.

Born in 1954, Ernst found his family’s wartime past under scrutiny when a German tabloid, Bild‑Zeitung, alleged that his grandfather—also named Ernst—profited from Nazi expropriation of Jewish businesses, including a major bank and a construction firm. While no formal charges were ever filed, the family’s connections to the SS and alleged wartime profiteering have persisted as a source of debate, especially after Ernst sued the paper for defamation in the 1990s. The lawsuit fizzled, leaving lingering questions about the family’s wealth and alleged artifact smuggling after the war.

2 Princess Ileana

Princess Ileana, a great‑granddaughter of both Queen Victoria and Tsar Alexander II, remains a relatively obscure figure, yet her wartime activities have drawn intense scrutiny. Known for her anti‑communist rhetoric, Ileana’s reputation was challenged in 1953 when her cousin, Archduke Franz Josef, wrote to a New York senator alleging that she had leveraged her royal status to profit from the Nazi regime.

The Archduke claimed that during Germany’s 1938 annexation of Austria, Ileana and her husband greeted Hitler by telegraph, securing permission to retain their royal titles. Over the next seven years, they allegedly cultivated relationships with Nazi elites, even appropriating Austrian properties belonging to the Archduke. After the war, Ileana spent time in Romania, then moved to Argentina—a haven for many fleeing Nazis—before finally settling in the United States.

1 King George VI

While his older brother flirted with Nazi sympathies, King George VI’s loyalty lay unequivocally with Britain. During the planning of Operation Overlord, the Allies enlisted his assistance in Operation Fortitude, a massive deception aimed at misleading the Germans about the true landing site in Normandy.

In 1944, George VI, alongside Queen Elizabeth (the Queen Mother) and Princess Elizabeth, toured troops across the UK. These visits were meticulously staged to appear as routine morale‑boosting trips, but their locations were deliberately chosen to suggest a focus on Norway and Calais, diverting German attention away from Normandy. Contemporary newspapers subtly hinted at the royal itinerary while leaking just enough detail for German intelligence to be misled. The ruse succeeded, contributing significantly to the success of D‑Day.

About The Author: Simon can be found on Twitter @simongireland

The 10 most unflattering nicknames given to royals often survive the ages, becoming a quirky footnote in the historical record. While a flattering epithet can turn a modest ruler into a legend, a cringe‑worthy sobriquet can forever color a monarch’s legacy with a dash of embarrassment.

10 Most Unflattering Nicknames

10 Halfdan the Bad Entertainer

Halfdan, officially known as Halfdan Eysteinsson of Uppsala, inherited the Norwegian throne from his father, King Eystein. Though contemporary chronicles praise him as a fierce warrior and a capable loot‑gatherer, his lasting reputation is oddly tied to hospitality rather than heroics. The nickname “Bad Entertainer” stems from tales that, while generous with land and treasure, he was notoriously stingy with food and drink whenever his warriors visited his hall. The moral? Never skimp on the ale and biscuits, lest your name be remembered for a poor party.

One might expect a moniker like “Halfdan the Mighty Pillager,” yet the historical record chose a less glorious label, suggesting that even the toughest king could be undone by a failure to keep his guests well‑fed. This quirky epithet reminds us that royal reputation often hinges on the smallest gestures.

9 Bernard the Hairy Footed

Bernard Plantapilosa, a French noble who ruled Auvergne from 1872 until his death in 1886, also held the title of Count of Autun for a brief five‑year stint before being ousted. The nickname “Hairy Footed” is a literal translation of his surname—plantapilosa—derived from Latin where “planta” means sole of the foot and “pilosa” denotes hair. Some historians even speculate that the moniker hints at a werewolf lineage, though the most plausible explanation is simply that his feet were unusually furred.

Whether the nickname arose from literal foot hair or a whimsical rumor, it illustrates how personal quirks—real or imagined—could become the defining tag for a noble’s legacy.

8 Ivalyo the Cabbage

King Ivalyo of Bulgaria, who seized the throne in 1278 after a daring peasant uprising, earned the nickname “the Cabbage.” Despite a meteoric rise—from humble farmer to monarch—his reign was marked by relentless warfare against both the Tatars and the Byzantines. After marrying the widowed Queen Mary, Ivalyo led his peasant army to numerous victories, yet his moniker references his low‑born origins, likening him to a common vegetable rather than a regal figure.

The epithet underscores how even battlefield brilliance could be eclipsed by a ruler’s socioeconomic background, turning a celebrated leader into a humble, cabbage‑loving figure in the annals of history.

7 Alfonso the Slobberer

Alfonso IX of León, son of Ferdinand II, ruled from 1188 to 1230 and is remembered for modernizing his realm—founding the first parliamentary body in Western Europe, the Cortes de León, and establishing the University of Salamanca in 1212. Militarily, he secured victories against Extremadura and even attempted to rescue the defeated Alfonso VIII of Castile. Yet, despite these achievements, chroniclers labeled him “the Slobberer” because he was prone to violent outbursts that caused his mouth to foam, a vivid image that stuck in popular memory.

His scholarly and military contributions were substantial, but the vivid, unflattering nickname illustrates how a single personal habit can dominate a ruler’s historical portrait.

6 Justinian the Slit‑Nosed

Justinian II, who ruled the Byzantine Empire in two turbulent periods (685‑695 and 705‑711), earned the moniker “Slit‑Nosed” after a rival general, Leontius, ordered his nose to be cut to disqualify him from the throne—an ancient rule that a ruler could not bear a physical deformity. After being overthrown, Justinian returned to power and, in a grim twist, had his rival’s nose removed as retribution. His reign was marked by heavy taxation and brutal persecution of Slavic populations, as well as religious intolerance toward the Paulicians.

The nickname, while graphic, is arguably a mercy compared to his cruel policies, and it survived as a stark reminder of the lengths to which power struggles could scar a ruler’s legacy.

10 Wild Adventures Of Former Royals

5 Fruela the Leprous

Fruela II, the third king of León, reigned for a brief twelve‑month stretch from 924 to 925 before succumbing to natural causes. Though his epithet “the Leprous” suggests a death by disease, records indicate he likely died of unrelated natural ailments, with his leprosy merely a notable, albeit secondary, condition. His short rule left little time for significant reforms; instead, his reign is chiefly remembered for a conflict with discontented nobles who opposed his authority.

The label “Leprous” persisted because it was the most striking detail of his short tenure, highlighting how a single affliction can eclipse any political achievements a monarch might have made.

4 Archibald the Loser

Archibald Douglas, the 4th Earl of Douglas, inherited the grim sobriquet “the Tyneman,” an archaic Scottish term translating to “Loser.” Son of Archibald the Grim, he fought in major battles such as Homildon Hill, Shrewsbury, and Verneuil, but each time found himself on the losing side. His battlefield misfortunes were literal as well—he lost an eye at Homildon and a testicle at Shrewsbury—fueling the perception that he was perpetually “losing” parts of himself.

His ultimate defeat at the Battle of Verneuil in 1424, where he perished, cemented the nickname. Archibald’s story illustrates how a series of unfortunate outcomes can forge an enduring, unflattering epithet.

3 Eystein the Fart

Eystein, king of Romerike in Norway from 736 to 810, inherited a nickname that translates from Old Norse as “The Swift,” but folk lore twisted it into “the Fart” to emphasize his rapid, wind‑like assaults. A classic Viking, he spent his life pillaging and conquering, with enemies allegedly too preoccupied with holding their noses to mount a defense. Legend says his death came when the sorcerer‑king of Varna, Skjold, used magic to push him overboard, sealing his fate with a splash of mythic irony.

The nickname, whether rooted in literal flatulence or a metaphor for speed, showcases how even fearsome leaders could be remembered for a humorous, albeit unflattering, moniker.

2 Joan the Lame

Joan, consort of French King Philip VI, acted as regent during his military campaigns in the Hundred Years’ War. A learned patron of education, she championed scholarly pursuits, yet her physical disability earned her the French nickname “la male royne boiteuse” – “the lame male queen.” This epithet served as a double‑edged insult, mocking both her mobility impairment and her perceived dominance over her husband’s rule.

She succumbed to the plague in September 1348, but her story endures as a stark reminder of medieval sexism and ableism, where a ruler’s accomplishments could be eclipsed by body‑shaming.

1 Constantine the Dung‑Named

Constantine V, Byzantine emperor from 741 to 775, earned the grotesque nickname “the Dung‑Named” after rumors spread that, as an infant, he defecated in the baptismal font. The epithet, derived from the Greek “Kopronymos,” meaning “named in dung,” reflected the deep resentment of contemporaries who viewed his reign of religious persecution and iconoclasm as morally filthy. He ordered the destruction of monasteries, burned relics, and imposed brutal punishments on dissenters, further cementing his reputation as a tyrant.

Whether the story of the infantile mishap is factual or merely propaganda, the nickname endures as an apt metaphor for a ruler whose policies were, in the eyes of many, downright “crappy.”

About The Author: I am a freelance writer from Dundee, who also makes short films under the name Wardlaw Films.

When the palace decides to keep a lid on things, the world takes notice. Below we count the top 10 times the British royals chose silence over publicity – from concealed pregnancies to covert political ties. Buckle up for a whirlwind tour through the most jaw‑dropping cover‑ups ever recorded.

Top 10 Times the Royals Hid Secrets

10 Diana Threw Herself Down Stairs While Pregnant With Prince William

English journalist Andrew Morton sat down with Diana for her 1992 biography ‘Diana: Her True Story’, securing a promise that certain topics would stay under wraps. Decades later, after Diana’s tragic death, transcripts from those interviews revealed a startling confession: while four months pregnant with William in 1982, she deliberately hurled herself down a staircase.

Diana explained that she felt utterly ignored by Charles, who was openly involved with Camilla Parker‑Bowles. In a moment of desperation, she told Morton she was sobbing uncontrollably, and Charles dismissed her pleas, saying he was heading out riding. Fueled by anguish, she leapt down the stairs, sustaining bruises but insisting the baby would survive.

The interview tapes, released posthumously, captured Diana’s raw words: “I told Charles I felt so desperate and I was crying my eyes out,” she said. “He said I was crying wolf. ‘I’m not going to listen,’ he replied. ‘You’re always doing this to me. I’m going riding now,’ so I threw myself down the stairs.” The revelation painted a stark picture of a royal marriage strained to breaking point.

9 King Edward VIII Was a Nazi Sympathiser

Edward VIII, the uncle of Queen Elizabeth II, holds the record for one of the briefest reigns in British history – a mere 326 days in 1936 before abdicating to marry Wallis Simpson, a twice‑divorced American. After stepping down, he embarked on a controversial tour of Nazi Germany, meeting Adolf Hitler in a move that raised eyebrows across the British establishment.

Defying the advice of his government, Edward’s visit was framed as a diplomatic gesture against the spread of communism in Eastern Europe, yet his warm reception by the Nazi regime hinted at deeper sympathies. Detailed accounts of dinner meetings and private conversations with Hitler surfaced in Andrew Morton’s 2015 book ‘17 Carnations: The Royals, the Nazis and the Biggest Cover‑Up in History’, exposing a covert friendship that British officials attempted to suppress.

According to historians, Hitler even entertained plans to reinstall Edward as a fascist monarch should Germany triumph in the war, a chilling what‑if scenario that underscores the depth of Edward’s alignment with the Nazi cause.

8 Prince Charles Dated Diana’s Sister First

Before the fairy‑tale romance with Diana began, Prince Charles reportedly had a brief fling with her older sister, Lady Sarah McCorquodale, in 1977. During that period, Charles was said to have pursued roughly twenty women, searching for a suitable partner to fulfill royal duties.

The relationship with Sarah reportedly lasted anywhere from a few months up to nine, ending on a sour note. In an interview, Sarah described the affair as “platonic” and famously declared she would not marry Charles even if he were “the dustman or the King of England”. According to her, Charles later confronted her, calling her actions “stupid”, which marked the final break.

Sarah later reflected on her role, labeling herself “cupid” for inadvertently introducing Diana to Charles, a twist that adds another layer to the royal love‑triangle saga.

7 They’re Not Royals?

Richard III reigned from 1483 to 1485, a reign that ended with his death at the Battle of Bosworth. In 2012, his skeletal remains were unearthed beneath a Leicester car park, confirming the long‑lost king’s identity.

DNA analysis of the bones, however, revealed a “false paternity event”: the genetic markers did not align with the expected paternal lineage, suggesting Richard may not have been biologically linked to the Plantagenet line. This discovery opens the possibility of an undisclosed affair somewhere in his ancestry, potentially breaking the assumed royal bloodline.

While definitive proof remains elusive, the notion that a centuries‑old monarch might have been born outside the royal family adds a tantalizing twist to England’s dynastic history.

6 ‘Camillagate’

Just weeks after Charles and Diana announced their split in 1993, a leaked transcript from a 1989 bedtime chat between Charles and Camilla surfaced, exposing the intimacy of their relationship at a time when both were still married.

The two had originally met in the early 1970s, briefly dating before Charles joined the Royal Navy. Their friendship later reignited, evolving into a romantic liaison while Charles remained wedded to Diana. The recorded conversation, lasting six minutes, revealed candid remarks, including Charles’s desire to “live inside her trousers”, prompting the sensational nickname “Camillagate” – or “tampon‑gate” as some tabloids dubbed it.

Charles later admitted that his marriage to Diana had “irretrievably broken down” in 1986, paving the way for his rekindled romance with Camilla, which ultimately culminated in their 2005 marriage.

5 Princess Margaret Fell In Love With a Married Man

Princess Margaret, the younger sister of Queen Elizabeth II, became enamoured with Group Captain Peter Townsend, a war‑hero and royal equerry, during the late 1940s. Townsend, though respected, was already married, creating a scandalous obstacle for the princess.

The romance blossomed when Margaret was in her twenties and Townsend had been appointed Comptroller of the Queen Mother’s household after King George VI’s death in 1952. Margaret claimed she fell for Townsend during a 1947 South African tour, where they shared horseback rides.

After Townsend’s divorce in 1952, he proposed to Margaret the following year. However, the age gap, his two children, and the need for Queen Elizabeth’s consent complicated matters. Ultimately, the relationship remained secret, never culminating in marriage, and faded under royal pressure.

4 Princess Anne’s Husband’s Lovechild

Princess Anne married Olympic gold‑medalist Mark Phillips in 1973, a union that lasted nearly two decades. During their marriage, Phillips reportedly fathered a child with New Zealand art teacher Heather Tonkin, a fact concealed from the public for years.

The affair came to light amid Anne’s divorce proceedings. Though Phillips denied paternity, a 1991 court‑ordered DNA test confirmed he was the father of Tonkin’s daughter, Felicity, born in 1985. Phillips allegedly paid a modest annual sum for child support while remaining absent from his daughter’s life.

Tonkin publicly asserted her desire for Phillips to acknowledge and financially support Felicity, highlighting the hidden dimensions of royal family dynamics.

3 ‘Squidgygate’

In 1992, The Sun released recordings of a private phone call between Princess Diana and her longtime friend James Gilbey, a Lotus salesman. The conversation, captured during a period when Diana’s marriage to Charles was unraveling, revealed a surprisingly affectionate tone.

Gilbey repeatedly referred to Diana as “Squidgy”, a nickname he used fourteen times, while Diana addressed him as “darling” fifty‑three times. The tapes, dubbed “Squidgygate”, sparked intense media scrutiny, feeding the public’s appetite for royal drama.

Although the exact nature of their relationship remains debated – some label it a “dalliance”, others an affair – the leaked recordings undeniably added fuel to the fire of the royal divorce saga.

2 King George & Queen Mary’s Son Had Epilepsy

King George V and Queen Mary, who reigned from 1910 to 1936, kept a significant secret regarding their youngest child, Prince John. Diagnosed with epilepsy at a young age, John was largely hidden from public view, omitted from official photographs and excluded from major ceremonies such as his parents’ coronation.

Beyond his seizures, there were concerns that John displayed signs of autism, leading the royal household to deem him “not presentable” for public occasions. It wasn’t until he was about eleven that the family began to limit his public appearances more deliberately.

John’s health deteriorated, and he succumbed to his condition at the age of thirteen in 1919. Only after his death did the royal family acknowledge publicly that he had battled epilepsy for most of his short life.

1 Prince Andrew’s Friendship With Sex Offender Jeffrey Epstein

Prince Andrew’s association with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein has become one of the most publicized royal scandals. Though the friendship began no later than 1999 – introduced by Epstein’s former girlfriend Ghislaine Maxwell – Andrew maintained the connection even after Epstein’s 2008 conviction and 13‑month prison sentence.

In 2019, Epstein was arrested again on federal charges of sex trafficking minors, and he died in custody a month later. A leaked photograph showed Andrew alongside Epstein in 2010, and a later image linked Andrew to Virginia Roberts Giuffre, an alleged victim of Epstein’s trafficking network.

While Andrew has never faced criminal charges, the revelations forced him to step down from all public duties in late 2019, casting a long shadow over the modern royal image.

It wasn’t that long ago when anyone showing clear signs of mental disturbance was shoved into a bleak, windowless cell and labeled a lunatic. Yet, when that same troubled soul wore a crown, society seemed oddly tolerant, allowing the madness to fester behind palace walls. This bizarre double‑standard gave rise to a parade of monarchs whose erratic behavior still baffles historians – welcome to the world of the top 10 royals who truly lost the plot.

Why the Top 10 Royals Were So Unhinged

10 King George III of England

George III is usually remembered as the British monarch who presided over the loss of the American colonies. Yet, tucked beneath that political legacy is a saga of erratic conduct and apparent mental collapse. By the end of his reign, his eccentricities were so pronounced that a Regency was established, allowing his son George IV to rule in his stead while the king was deemed unfit.

Modern scholars suspect bipolar disorder, noting his wild swings between rapid, incomprehensible speech and bouts of uncontrollable crying that could stretch for days. He also suffered from paranoia and vivid hallucinations, reportedly reaching out to shake hands with an oak tree. Oddly colored urine—described as blue, red, or even purple—has led some physicians to propose acute porphyria as a possible cause.

9 Charles VI of France

Charles VI, known as “the Mad,” shared a surprisingly similar trajectory with George III. While his reign is often associated with the triumph at Agincourt, his personal reputation gradually morphed into one of unsettling instability. The king’s mental health deteriorated to the point where he became infamous for two starkly contrasting behaviors.

The first was his famed “glass delusion,” a belief that his entire body was made of fragile glass. He avoided any physical contact, often remaining motionless for hours to prevent breaking himself. The second facet of his condition manifested as violent outbursts, during which he would even turn on his own knights, killing them in fits of rage.

8 Nero

Nero, the infamous Roman emperor, presents a study in contradictions. Some ancient sources portray him as a beloved figure among the plebs, even elevating him to folk‑hero status after his death. Conversely, the elite historians of his time depict him as a cruel, self‑indulgent tyrant whose primary concern was personal pleasure rather than the empire’s welfare.

One of the most chilling anecdotes involves the death of his second wife, Poppaea. After allegedly causing her demise, Nero allegedly had a young commoner who resembled Poppaea castrated, dressed in women’s clothing, and then married him, referring to the youth solely as “Poppaea.” This grotesque act underscores the depth of his depravity.

7 Elagabalus aka Antoninus

Elagabalus, another Roman emperor, ruled for a fleeting period that barely left a dent in the historical record—yet the surviving accounts paint a portrait of unbridled excess. Ascending to the throne as a teenager, his reign was abruptly terminated when he was assassinated at the age of eighteen.

Rather than governing, Elagabalus seemed obsessed with sexual exploits, engaging in relationships with individuals of every age and gender. He would elevate his current lover to high office, and some sources claim he even prostituted himself for amusement. His personal life was a whirlwind of debauchery that shocked the Roman aristocracy.

Adding religious controversy to his already scandalous résumé, Elagabalus attempted to replace traditional Roman worship with the obscure cult of the Syrian sun god El‑Gabal. This heretical move alienated the Roman elite and contributed to the conspirators’ decision to end his life.

6 Mustafa I

Mustafa I, a sultan of the Ottoman Empire during its post‑peak era, earned the moniker “Mustafa the Mad.” His upbringing set the stage for instability: while it was customary for a new sultan to eliminate his brothers to secure the throne, his older brother Ahmed I chose mercy, imprisoning young Mustafa in a windowless cell for fourteen years.

When Mustafa finally seized the throne, his reign lasted a single year before he was once again confined for four more years, only to return to power for another brief year. The relentless cycle of power and isolation eroded his social skills; he became notorious for plucking beards from anyone nearby and scattering his wealth among passing animals.

5 Maria Eleonora of Brandenburg

Maria Eleonora of Brandenburg, queen consort of Sweden, faced relentless pressure to produce a male heir—a demand she could never fulfill. Her reproductive history was tragic: a miscarriage, a daughter who died within a year, a stillborn son, and finally a healthy baby girl named Christina after multiple failed pregnancies.

Unable to accept a daughter, Maria repeatedly labeled Christina a “monster” and made several attempts to harm or even kill the infant, though she never succeeded. Following her husband’s death, her mental state deteriorated further; she placed the king’s heart in a gilded casket, suspended it above her bed, and compelled Christina to share the same sleeping space night after night beneath the dead monarch’s heart.

In a modern context, Maria’s anguish might have been recognized as a severe psychological disorder, granting her access to treatment. Instead, the era’s harsh attitudes left her to grapple alone with the cumulative trauma of repeated pregnancy losses.

4 Princess Alexandra of Bavaria

Princess Alexandra of Bavaria was a remarkably intelligent woman who shunned marriage in favor of scholarly pursuits, becoming a novelist, essayist, and translator. Despite her intellectual achievements, she wrestled with profound personal anxieties that colored her daily life.

Alexandra was a notorious germaphobe, refusing to wear any clothing except pure white. Even more bizarre, she became convinced that, as a child, she had swallowed an entire glass piano. This delusion compelled her to avoid physical contact, maneuvering sideways through doorways to prevent the frames from touching her, fearing they might shatter her fragile self—eerily reminiscent of Charles VI’s glass delusion.

Her obsessive fears and eccentric habits isolated her socially, yet she persisted in her literary output, leaving a legacy of works that contrast sharply with the turmoil of her private world.

3 Vlad the Impaler

Vlad III, better known as Vlad the Impaler, occupies a notorious place in history as a national hero to some Romanians and a symbol of extreme cruelty to others. His reign was marked by systematic, large‑scale torture and acts that border on genocide.

Beyond his famed penchant for impaling enemies, Vlad cultivated a vampire‑like mythos that inspired Bram Stoker’s Count Dracula. He would invite foreign envoys under the pretense of peace, only to impale them alive on stakes, ensuring a slow, agonizing death. He also famously nailed turbans to the heads of captured Ottoman soldiers, forcing them to watch their own humiliation.

2 Nebuchadnezzar II

Nebuchadnezzar II, the celebrated Babylonian king, earned a reputation as the original “crazy royal.” The biblical Book of Daniel recounts that he descended into madness for seven years, living in the wilderness as a cow and subsisting on grass—a condition known as boanthropy.

While many scholars view this account as allegorical or mythic, some propose that a real historical figure, perhaps his successor Nabonidus, might have experienced a similar delusion, blurring the line between legend and fact.

1 Gaius Caligula

It would be impossible to crown any other monarch as the pinnacle of madness before naming Caligula. This Roman emperor epitomizes hedonism, decadence, perversion, and outright sadism—traits that have become synonymous with the name “Caligula.”

His reign blended Nero’s cruelty with Elagabalus’s perversion, amplifying each to grotesque extremes. Stories—though often embellished—detail him sleeping with his sisters and even prostituting them, appointing his horse Incitatus as a priest, converting his palace into a brothel, and ordering guards to hurl unsuspecting spectators into arena pits for his amusement.

Nowadays, matters of alchemy and the occult are largely regarded as pseudoscience, but in the past, supernatural practices were taken more seriously. For example, the idea of a philosopher’s stone that could turn base metals into gold and grant immortality goes back to at least ancient Greece. Throughout the centuries, many people sought (and failed) to prove its existence. The occult was also a hot topic during the Renaissance; astrology was sometimes studied as a science, while the fear of dark magic led to feverish witch hunts. Here are 10 royals, historical and modern, who have dabbled in the occult.

10 Queen Elizabeth I

In 1555, John Dee was arrested for witchcraft after casting the horoscopes of Queen Mary I of England and Princess Elizabeth. However, he was exonerated and, a few years later, found favor with Elizabeth once she became queen. She even trusted him to select an auspicious coronation date for her, which was January 15, 1559, based on his astrological calculations. In 1564, he was “appointed Royal Advisor in mystic secrets,” and as her court astrologer, he also advised her on matters of state and science.

Elizabeth’s interest in mysticism seemed to stretch no further than astrology, while Dee delved deeper into the supernatural, believing he could communicate with angels through a medium. Dee fell out of favor when James I took the throne. He was once again accused of conjuring, and the new king refused to clear his name. James hated the occult and witchcraft so much that he published an entire book, Daemonologie (1599), devoted to the subject.^[1]

9 Queen Victoria

It has been speculated that Queen Victoria of England took part in séances, but nothing has ever been officially verified. This may be because the queen never actually had any interest in the occult. Or it could be because, after her death, her journals and letters were censored by her daughter, Princess Beatrice.

There is speculation that in 1846, Georgiana Elizabeth Eagle, a child clairvoyant, performed before Victoria and her husband, Albert, at Osborne House. Then in 1861, after Albert’s death that year, it is rumored that a teenage medium named Robert James Lees fell into a trance during a séance and channeled the departed spirit of Albert. Lees may then have conducted séances for Victoria to speak to her dead husband.

It has also been claimed that John Brown, Victoria’s favorite and long-rumored lover, acted as a medium to channel Albert. Still, there is no historical record of these conversations taking place.^[2]

8 Empress Alexandra Feodorovna

Alexandra Feodorovna was Queen Victoria’s favorite granddaughter and became a part of the Russian Romanov family when she married Emperor Nicholas II in 1894. Their son Alexei was born in 1904 and suffered from hemophilia, a condition where the blood does not clot properly. Alexandra believed in the occult, participating in séances and speaking with clairvoyants, and she sought the aid of Grigori Rasputin, now known as one of the world’s most famous mystics.

Alexandra and Nicholas brought Rasputin into their inner circle to heal their son, although some were riled by this, regarding him as a charlatan. But the couple were convinced of his magical powers, believing he could stop Alexei’s excessive bleeding. Some modern historians now think that it was actually Rasputin’s insistence that the boy not be treated with aspirin (which thins the blood) that caused his seemingly miraculous healing.^[3]

7 Holy Roman Emperor Rudolf II

As well as juggling his many political responsibilities as Holy Roman Emperor, King of Hungary and Croatia, King of Bohemia, and Archduke of Austria, Rudolf II was also deeply involved in researching the occult. While matters of dark magic and witchcraft were criminalized during the Renaissance, astrology and alchemy were often regarded as legitimate scientific fields. When Rudolf moved the royal court to Prague Castle, the city became a center for the practice of alchemy.

Notable alchemists who visited his court include John Dee, Elizabeth I’s astrologer, and his companion-cum-medium, Edward Kelley. Rabbi Judah Loew ben Bezalel also gained an audience with Rudolf, where the two discussed Kabbala, the Jewish mystic interpretation of the Bible. Rudolf is also the earliest known owner of the Voynich manuscript, one of the most famous texts written in a code or unknown language that remains undeciphered to this day. It is thought that he may have purchased the cryptic manuscript from Dee, but its history is unclear.^[4]

6 Queen Catherine de’ Medici

Catherine de’ Medici was born in Italy and became Queen of France in 1547 through her marriage to King Henry II. She was also the mother of the French kings Francis II, Charles IX, and Henry III, and thus occupied a position of power for many years. Soon after the untimely death of Charles in 1574, a pamphlet circulated accusing her of witchcraft, which led to her becoming known as the Black Queen. It claimed that “through the wave of her wand and bewitching potions, she had changed us into wild beasts and torn out our humanity.”

More fuel was thrown on this fire when Jean Bodin’s book De la démonomanie des sorciers or On the Demon-Mania of Witches (1580) alleged that she had participated in a Black Mass during which a child was sacrificed. While there is no actual evidence of Catherine practicing (or, rather, attempting to practice) dark magic, she was certainly interested in astrology.

Cosimo Ruggeri served as her advisor and astrologer, and in 1555, she invited the seer Nostradamus to court after reading his predictions in Les Prophéties (1555). She had him draw up horoscopes for her children and, in the following years, made him Counselor and Physician-in-Ordinary to the young King Charles.^[5]

5 Emperor Yongzheng

Many historical Chinese emperors took alchemical elixirs in an effort to achieve immortality. Although the danger of these potions and pills was not unknown, numerous emperors succumbed to mercury poisoning in their quest for eternal life. The first Chinese emperor to die in this way was actually China’s first emperor, Qin Shi Huang, who died in 210 BC. The last to die via a so-called elixir of life was Emperor Yongzheng, and it was surprisingly recent, occurring in 1735.

At the time, officials said that Yongzheng died from exhaustion caused by overwork. A rumor then spread that he had been assassinated by Lü Siniang, who was seeking revenge for the execution of Lü Liuliang, her father or grandfather (accounts vary). Based on court records, it is now generally accepted that he died from mercury poisoning. The true cause of his death may have been concealed at the time because few people still believed in immortality-granting elixirs, and officials did not want to bring shame to Yongzheng’s name.^[6]

4 King Philip II

As well as greatly expanding Spain’s influence across the globe, Philip II of Spain was also a dedicated patron of the arts and sciences, including alchemy. In 1584, the magnificent royal palace of El Escorial was completed, containing within its walls a church, college, library, and even alchemical distillation laboratories. It became a center of knowledge, with Philip furnishing the library with great works of history, science, and literature and inviting alchemists to work in the labs.

In 1591, for instance, Philip brought Irish alchemist Richard Stanihurst to his court after hearing that he had concocted a panacea (a cure-all potion). However, Stanihurst’s experiments with the medicine failed to come to anything. Philip was also interested in transmutation and had people attempting to turn base metals into gold. These experiments likewise failed to produce results. Although panaceas and transmutation are now known to belong to mythology, Philip II’s interest in alchemy stemmed from scientific exploration rather than a preoccupation with the supernatural.^[7]

3 Crown Princess Hwi

In the early 1400s, during King Sejong’s rule of Joseon, now modern-day Korea, Crown Prince Munjong married Lady Kim, making her Crown Princess Hwi. Their marriage lasted just a couple of years because Hwi was deposed for practicing witchcraft, or in the words of King Sejong, using “the sorcery of yin and yang manipulation to obtain the favor” of her husband.

The princess had appealed to her lady-in-waiting, Hocho, for help in gaining the prince’s love. Hocho told the princess to do two things: first, to burn the shoes of her romantic rivals and mix the ashes into Munjong’s wine to make him reject them; second, to rub snake sperm onto a piece of cloth and wear it on her body to win his affection. Sundeok, another lady-in-waiting, found leftover pieces of shoe leather from the ritual and raised her suspicions with King Sejong. He questioned the crown princess, and she confessed to everything. Hocho was subsequently executed, and Hwi was stripped of her title and banished from the palace.^[8]

2 King Frederick William II

Rosicrucianism, a spiritual movement that began in the early 17th century and sought out esoteric knowledge, counted Frederick William II, King of Prussia, within its ranks. When he was still prince, Frederick William was a member of the Masons, but he yearned for more mysticism than the Masons could offer. He believed that he could hear the voices of ghosts and occasionally held séances to communicate with them. He met a man named Johann Rudolf von Bischoffswerder during the War of the Bavarian Succession (1778–79), and when he fell ill, Bischoffswerder cured him with an esoteric Rosicrucian elixir.

The experience left its mark, and in 1781, Frederick William was officially initiated into the Rosicrucian brotherhood by Johann Christoph von Wöllner. When he became king in 1786, both Wöllner and Bischoffswerder were placed in positions of power. Bischoffswerder had a machine that could supposedly summon spirits, and during one séance held at Charlottenburg Palace, the ghost of Frederick William’s namesake, Frederick William, “The Great Elector,” apparently appeared and told the king to stop seeing his mistress.^[9]

1 Princess Märtha Louise

Not all royals who were interested in the occult are long dead and buried. Princess Märtha Louise is currently fourth in line to the Norwegian throne and makes her living working as a clairvoyant. In 2002, she withdrew from the royal household, giving up her official “Her Royal Highness” title and her annual $1 million allowance. She has since made a career from her supposed clairvoyant abilities. She is a motivational speaker and, for a number of years, ran an “angel school,” where she taught clients how to speak to angels and the dead.

In 2019, she faced controversy for using her royal title for financial gain after titling a seminar series, “The Princess and the Shaman,” which she ran with her self-proclaimed shaman fiancé, Durek Verrett. She agreed to stop using the title and, as of November 2022, has officially withdrawn from all royal duties. Still, the couple continues to be criticized by the press for spreading pseudoscience. Verrett has claimed that he can cure illnesses (including cancer) and rotate the atoms in a person’s body to make them younger and that he’s not a regular human but rather a hybrid of “a reptile and Andromeda.”^[10]

Being royalty or nobility comes with a lot of obvious perks, such as money and power, but there is no escaping death. In the past, being a monarch or leader sometimes meant meeting a violent end, whether that was on the battlefield or through assassination. However, there are also a number of more unusual and bizarre ways that have taken out high-ranking historical figures.

Historical records from the past cannot always be taken as absolute fact, so a few of these deaths may have been exaggerated, but they are interesting nonetheless. So, here are 10 of the weirdest ways that royals and nobles have reportedly left this mortal world.

10 King Pyrrhus Was Hit by a Roof Tile Thrown by an Old Woman

To die on the battlefield was often seen as an honor, but not all kings were blessed by being struck down by an enemy blade during an epic fight. King Pyrrhus, who ruled the ancient Greek kingdom of Epirus, was known as a brave and skilled commander, but his death at the hands of an old woman during the Battle of Argos in 272 BC was far from a glorious end.

The battle took place in the narrow city streets of Argos, and while Pyrrhus was fighting an Argive soldier, he was hit on the head and fell from his horse. The Greek philosopher and historian Plutarch writes that the soldier’s mother was looking down from her house, and “when she saw that her son was engaged in conflict with Pyrrhus, she was filled with distress in view of the danger to him, and lifting up a tile with both her hands threw it at Pyrrhus.” It is not known whether he was killed outright or merely dazed by this blow; either way, the enemy seized the opportunity to decapitate him.^[1]

9 King Henry I Ate Too Many Lampreys

While in France in 1135 to visit family and enjoy some hunting, King Henry I of England decided to indulge in a hearty meal of lampreys, a type of fish that looks like an eel and has a circular mouth filled with rows of teeth. Although Henry was fond of the fish, his doctor advised him to avoid them because, according to historian Henry of Huntingdon, “they always disagreed with him.”

Henry ignored his physician and chowed down on the forbidden fish. Soon afterward, they “caused a sudden and extreme disturbance, under which his aged frame sunk into a deathly torpor.” Henry I is not the only king to have eaten himself to death: Adolf Frederick of Sweden managed it in 1771 after eating copious amounts of seafood, then tucking into a semla bun, then another, and another. In total, he ate 14 of the sweet buns before experiencing stomach problems and dying.^[2]

8 The Duke of Clarence Drowned in Wine

The nobility was usually granted the honor of being privately executed rather than publicly humiliated, which means that their cause of death is sometimes uncertain. This is the case with George Plantagenet, Duke of Clarence, who was executed for treason by his brother, King Edward IV, in 1478 during the Wars of the Roses. A rumor soon spread that rather than being beheaded or hanged, he was drowned in a barrel of wine.

Although it may have just been false gossip, his unusual death is recorded in multiple histories. Fabyan’s Chronicle (1516), for instance, mentions that Clarence “drowned in a butt of Malmesey wine.” His supposed death by wine gained even more traction when William Shakespeare included it in his history play Richard III (1597). In the play, Clarence is stabbed, and then one of his murderers declares, “I’ll drown you in the malmsey-butt within.” (I.iv.243)^[3]

7 Al-Musta’sim Billah Was Either Trampled or Starved

In 1258 Baghdad was attacked by the Mongols, and Al-Musta’sim Billah, the last Abbasid Caliph to rule from Baghdad, was killed by Hulagu Khan, Genghis Khan’s grandson. There are different stories about how exactly he was executed, but it is generally accepted that no blood was shed. The most popular accounts are that he was rolled up in a rug and trampled to death by horses or locked in his treasure room to starve to death.

In The Travels of Marco Polo (1300), it is written that Hulagu told the Caliph to “eat of thy treasure as much as thou wilt, since thou art so fond of it; for never shalt thou have aught else to eat!” Historian Nassima Neggaz states that trampling is now regarded as the more likely cause of death. She comments that while this is technically a noble death, as no blood was spilled, it probably “had less to do with honoring him because of his royal blood, and more to do with Mongol religious beliefs and superstitions.” Mongols believed that the soul resided in a person’s blood, so a bloody death meant their soul was free to seek revenge. Plus, breaking a person’s bones was believed to ensure that their lineage would be ended.^[4]

6 King Edward II Had a Hot Poker Inserted Into His Anus

Edward II’s rule of England was fraught with controversy, much of which stemmed from his relationship with Piers Gaveston. The nature of their relationship remains unknown, although many speculate that they were lovers. Regardless, the English king’s close bond with his favorite and poor leadership led to Queen Isabella and the nobility murdering him.

Many modern historians believe he was simply left without food and water to die of natural causes. However, medieval historians claim that a hot poker was inserted into his anus to burn his bowels. Holinshed’s Chronicles (1577) explains that this was done “so as no appearance of any wound or hurt outwardlie might be once perceiued.” This account was then further popularized in Christopher Marlowe’s history play Edward II (1594), where Lightborn murders the king with “a spit, and let it be red-hot.” (V.v.32).^[5]

5 Emperor Valerian Was Forced to Drink Molten Gold or Flayed Alive

The Roman Emperor Valerian ruled from AD 253 to 260 when he was captured in battle by the Persian Emperor Shapur I. As a prisoner of war, Valerian was subject to humiliations which included being used as a stepping stool from which Shapur would mount his horse. Sources vary in their descriptions of his eventual execution, with the most gruesome tale being that he was forced to drink molten gold.

An alternative story is offered up by Lactantius, advisor to Emperor Constantine I, who alleges that Valerian was flayed alive and his skin was then dyed with vermilion and displayed as a warning to the Romans that “they should not place too great confidence in their own strength.” Although neither account is verified, drinking gold and being flayed alive are both horribly painful ways to go.^[6]

4 Sigurd Eysteinsson Was Killed by a Dead Man’s Tooth

Sigurd Eysteinsson, the first Earl of Orkney, was the leader of a Viking attack on Scotland, and while few details of his life made the history books, his unusual death certainly did. During his attempted invasion of northern Scotland in 892, he agreed to an even fight against a royal steward called Máelbrigte. Each leader was supposed to fight alongside 40 men, but Sigurd cheated by mounting 80 men across 40 horses.

Sigurd won the battle, of course, and tied Máelbrigte’s chopped-off head to his saddle as a trophy. The Norse history text “The Orkneyinga Saga” reports that this was his fatal mistake. As Máelbrigte was known for being buck-toothed, a particularly prominent pearly white caused a wound on Sigurd’s leg as he rode. The wound quickly became infected, and Sigurd died. Máelbrigte may have been decapitated, but he got revenge in death.^[7]

3 Emperor Valentinian I Screamed So Much He Had A Stroke

The next time you let your anger get the better of you, just remember Valentinian I, who died of a stroke after screaming in rage. Valentinian was Roman Emperor from AD 364 to 375 and spent much of his reign defending the borders of the Roman Empire in Europe. Valentinian met with a group of Quadi messengers, the Germanic people the Romans had been fighting, to negotiate a ceasefire.

The envoy maintained that the Romans had been wrong to build forts in their land and could not guarantee that all chiefs would cease their attacks. Ammianus Marcellinus, a Roman soldier and historian, wrote that Valentinian then “burst into a mighty fit of wrath” and that once he had calmed down, he was suddenly “speechless and suffocating, and his face was tinged with a fiery flush.” Valentinian had worked himself into such a rage that it caused him to have a fatal stroke.^[8]

2 Emperor Qin Shi Huang Drank Mercury

In 221 BC, Qin Shi Huang unified China for the first time, after which he took the title of Emperor and then began the process of building the Great Wall of China. Alongside these huge achievements, he was also obsessed with trying to live forever. In his attempt to achieve immortality, he had alchemists prepare elixirs for him to drink, but his habit of consuming wine mixed with honey and mercury led to his death at the age of 49.

Mercury may also have followed him into the afterlife: He was buried in a city-sized mausoleum guarded by a life-sized Terracotta Army, which supposedly features rivers of mercury. Until his resting place was discovered in 1974, it was thought that the writings of the Han dynasty historian Sima Qian greatly exaggerated the magnificence of his tomb. But he was proven correct about the huge number of clay figures and may also be right about the rivers of mercury. However, this will remain a mystery until the technology is developed to enter the tomb without damaging the contents. It is doubtful that Qin Shi Huang was able to source enough of the liquid metal to create literal rivers, but high levels of mercury have been found in the surrounding soil.^[9]

1 Duke Jing Drowned in Feces

Duke Jing ruled the State of Jin in ancient China between 599 and 581 BC and died shortly after he abdicated due to illness. According to the ancient Chinese text the Zuo Zhuan, Jing consulted a shaman after being visited by a demonic entity in a nightmare. The shaman told him he would not live to “taste the new wheat.” Jing struggled on, and when the wheat was ready to be eaten, he had the shaman killed for making an incorrect prediction.

Either just before he tucked into his tasty wheat or just after, he suddenly felt the need to go to the toilet. It is unknown why, but Jing fell in and ended up drowning in the pit of urine and feces. Drowning in anything is a bad way to go, but drowning in excrement is particularly grim. The servant who fished his body out of the latrine also suffered a horrible death, as they were buried alive with Jing.^[10]