Picture this: It is about 700 years before Jesus was born, and you are Numa. No, not the “Numa Numa” song. You are Numa Pompilius, the king of Rome. You live in a time long before being an insane emperor was cool. The priests of your kingdom have informed you that the goddess Vesta will protect your realm from harm.

The catch? You must light a magical fire in her honor and never let it go out. You wonder: How could the kingdom preserve such a fire? After much thought, you decide that such a task could only be taken on by a holy college of virgin women. This sort of thinking is exactly why they elected you king.

These women were known as the vestal virgins, or the vestals for short. For a thousand years, they attempted to keep Vesta’s sacred fire lit. And because of the 10 reasons listed below, they were perhaps one of the most fascinating orders in all of history.

10 They Had To Remain Chaste But Not Forever

When an order of priestesses is called the vestal virgins, you get the feeling that virginity was an important part of the process. These vestals, who were chosen as children, indeed had to abstain from sex for as long as they tended to the sacred fire.

The holy rites of Vesta could only be performed by somebody innocent and pure of heart. If one of the vestals were to break their vows of virginity, it was feared that the fire would go out and Rome would be destroyed. Therefore, ancient Rome had the greatest argument for chastity in the history of abstinence education.

While some might dread the mere mention of abstinence, not to mention a lifetime of it, fear not. Each vestal only served for 30 years. After their service to Rome had been completed, the priestesses would be freed from their vows, just in time to enjoy their midlife crises but with all of the privileges that were associated with the vestals.

9 They Were The Most Powerful Women In Rome

Believe it or not, feminism was not very popular 2,500 years ago. While women in Rome had more rights than women in other ancient cultures, they still could not vote. They were also legally controlled by their fathers and, eventually, their husbands. Because of this, ordinary Roman women rarely owned land or amassed influence.

However, the vestals were no ordinary women. Their rituals were thought to be the one thing stopping Rome from being destroyed or otherwise doomed. Being the most important women in the kingdom/republic/empire, they had privileges that the common women could only dream of.

They were freed from the influence of their fathers and could vote and own property, they were considered trustworthy enough to handle important documents, and they even had front-row seats reserved for them at stadium games. Unfortunately, these privileges have not endured the test of time as modern lady priests are not given complimentary floor tickets to see LeBron play.

8 There Could Only Be Six Of Them (Times Three)

With all the prestige and awe that came with being a virgin, you would think that all the women would have lined up to join the priestesshood. Unfortunately for them, the college of vestals was very exclusive and becoming a virgin was much harder than it would seem. Noble families would offer up their young daughters to the vestal college, although in later years, the college would have to resort to lower-class families as the virginity fad began to die down.

The order would admit six young girls to study the ways of the vestals for 10 years. Afterward, they would perform the rites of Vesta for another 10 years and then train the newest batch of girls for their last 10 years of service. As such, there would never be more than 18 women in the vestals at a time, which made them a rather scarce commodity.

7 Marrying A Former Vestal Was All The Rage

Today, when one thinks of a trophy wife, one thinks about a young woman who has little going for her except for her attractiveness. However, if a man lived in the times of ancient Rome, the greatest wife that he could snag would have been a former vestal. Although they were few in number, retired vestals were well respected, had expanded rights, and received generous pensions, making them potential targets for any masculine gold diggers.

For example, Marcus Licinius Crassus, who is renowned for being one of the wealthiest men in all of human history, is known to have chased the skirt of a vestal named Licinia. He merely wanted to woo her so that he could buy her property cheap.

However, as Licinia was still in the vestal virgins and had not retired yet, a controversy began to brew, and eventually, both Crassus and Licinia were put on trial. Fortunately for the two of them, the judges decided that Crassus was stupidly greedy and didn’t actually mean to deflower the vestal. So Crassus and Licinia were free to go. With this one trial in mind, it would seem that the repercussions for trying to marry a current vestal weren’t too horrible.

6 Marrying A Current Vestal Was A Horrible Mistake

Elagabalus was the 25th emperor of Rome. He was also a teenage boy most famous for fornicating across the capital, marrying five women and two men, and forcing the Senate to watch him dance for his Syrian Sun god—which, in all honesty, is the least that the Senate deserves.

Although Elagabalus preferred the company of his beefy charioteer, he forced Aquilia Severa, a vestal, to marry him. He believed that this would have two benefits: The faiths of Rome and ancient Syria would be joined as one, and he and Aquilia would have “godlike” babies because the vestals were clearly magical.

For the people of Rome, this was unacceptable. The protectors of Vesta’s flames were the vestal virgins, not the vestal babymakers. For the crime of rapturing a vestal away from her duties, among other things, Elagabalus was quickly shown justice. In other terms, he was stabbed and decapitated before being thrown in the Tiber River.

5 Breaking The Rules As A Vestal Was Even Worse

So much emphasis has been placed on the chastity and virtue of the vestals. But even if the Romans thought otherwise, the priestesses were only human. Surely, they erred from their duties on occasion? Everybody needs their fill of Sunday Funday, after all.

Unfortunately, the punishments for errant vestals were ridiculously harsh. If the sacred fire were to go out, then the vestal at fault would be whipped for making the goddess forsake the city. Even worse was the punishment for breaking their vows of celibacy: the considerably bleaker sentence of death.

Of course, attempting to execute a vestal virgin for naughtiness would prove to be difficult as their sacred blood could not be spilled. “Easy solution,” said the other priests. “We’ll just bury them alive!”

This posed another problem, however. Roman law dictated that nobody could be buried within the city. “All right then,” the rival priesthoods collectively murmured. “We’ll build nice rooms underground, put a little bit of food down there, and then seal the room under several feet of dirt. That way, we’re not burying the vestals. We’re just putting them in a chamber where they’ll happen to die after a few days.”

The faithful of Rome then congratulated themselves on the sort of ingenuity that would make any politician swell with pride.

4 They Were Serious About Their Duties

Clearly, being a vestal was not all it was hyped to be, especially if you were constantly under the threat of being whipped, placed in the worst bed-and-breakfast ever, or both. However, to their credit, the vestal virgins were absolutely on top of their game. Vesta’s flame hardly ever went out, although the temple in which it was housed did catch on fire on occasion. That is what you get for trying to keep a magical fire lit for the entirety of Rome’s history.

However, even more incredible is the extent to which the vestals adhered to their vows of chastity. The priestesshood had survived for well over 1,000 years, and yet there are only 10 recorded vestals who were punished for impropriety. That is an average of one virgin breaking the rules every 100 years, a batting average that every religion in the world would be envious of.

3 They Were The Most Sacred And Powerful Of All Roman Clergy

By virtue of protecting the city with Vesta’s flame and having the chastity tenacity of 100 priests, the virgins were naturally the most powerful priestesshood in all of Rome. They even had the political power to pardon pre-dictator Julius Caesar, who had been targeted in one of his rival’s political purges.

Although the priests of other gods had legal protections, the vestals were so revered that merely injuring one was punishable by death—although this presumably did not include dragging one of the errant vestals into an underground chamber.

Furthermore, they were so sacred that they could intervene in criminal affairs at will. If a vestal touched a slave, they were freed on the spot. If a criminal saw a vestal virgin as the criminal was on his way to be executed, he was automatically pardoned. Unfortunately for world history, the demise of Vesta’s college eliminated both the vestals and their slave-freeing powers.

2 Their Fire Was Put Out Forever By The Christians

For eons, the vestal virgins had kept the sacred fire in Rome lit like a magical, protection-granting bonfire that only occasionally burned down the surrounding temples. The Roman pagans argued that the fire, coupled with the Romans’ faith in their pantheon, had granted the city the protection of the goddess. This seemed hard to argue with because of the whole 1,000 years of continued existence thing.

Unfortunately for the pagans and the pyromaniacs of Rome, Christianity happened. In the year 394, emperor Theodosius, boasting the most Christian name an emperor could have, closed the vestal college and put out the magical fire.

According to legend, his niece then came to Vesta’s temple and stole a necklace from a statue of the goddess, thinking that nothing bad could come from this. Sixteen years later, Rome was destroyed by rampaging barbarians—to be precise, the dreadful and Hot Topic–dressing Goths—which led to the most scornful “I told you so” in ancient history.

1 The Closing Of The Vestal College Radically Shaped Christianity

Quickly after the sack of Rome, the citizens of the empire were quick to blame the Christians. If the city prospered for a millennium but was destroyed after these religious upstarts had forsaken the old gods, then surely this was all their fault.

However, instead of this leading to sour feelings and a return to paganism, the notion ended up leading to a theological revolution. Saint Augustine, one of the most famous figures in early Christianity, began to work on a rebuttal.

A few years later, he retorted with his most famous work, The City of God, where he argued that the Christian god had protected Rome in the past when it was virtuous and had abandoned the empire for misbehaving in recent times. Vesta and the other pagan gods had failed to protect Rome from past misfortunes.

They were also, he argued, fake and stupid. Although this did little to assuage any former disgruntled vestals, it reaffirmed the beliefs of contemporary Christians and helped cement Augustine as the most important theologian of his time.

Jeremy is an impoverished college student who enjoys research, gaming, history, and researching gaming history.

Every Roman emperor has a few crazy stories under his belt, but none of them compare to the tales of Caligula. He’s the one Roman emperor historians are fairly sure was certifiably insane.

Six ancient Romans wrote about Caligula’s life, and every one of them agreed that he was completely off his rocker. They left stories about him that are so ridiculous that some people now insist that these events couldn’t possibly have happened. But that’s not because we have any evidence against them. Caligula’s life was just too crazy to be believed.

10 He Invited His Horse To Drink Wine At His Dinner Table

Caligula probably never made his horse a consul, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t treat the animal like a human being. According to multiple Roman sources, Caligula treated his favorite force, Incitatus, better than most people.

This horse had his own home. It wasn’t just an upgraded stable, either. Caligula gave his horse his own multiple-room house, complete with furniture and a crew of slaves who were ordered to follow the horse’s every command.

At dinnertime, Caligula would invite his horse to dine with him. The horse would be brought to the dinner table, where the emperor and his horse would be served wine in golden goblets and would share a toast to the horse’s good health.^[1]

He even sent his soldiers out to make sure that the animal got some peace and quiet. Reportedly, after Caligula noticed that the crowds cheering at the games were bothering his horse, he sent his soldiers to force everyone in attendance to stay quiet—on pain of death—until the horse got some rest.

9 He Tried To Replace The Head On The Statue Of Zeus With His Own

Caligula wasn’t satisfied to just be an emperor. He wanted to be a god—and he set up his own cult to make sure it happened.

The emperor of Rome had temples constructed where people could worship him. Inside, there were life-size statutes of him made of pure gold that the people of Rome were encouraged to bow before and worship. And he didn’t stop there. Caligula had plans to chop off the head of the statue of Zeus at Olympia—one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World—and replace it with a likeness of his own head.

He even hired his own team of priests with their own extravagant rituals. To show devotion to Caligula, a sacrificed bull wouldn’t be enough. His worshipers were expected to sacrifice flamingos and peacocks in his honor.

His obsession with declaring himself to be a god nearly caused a revolt. At one point, frustrated that the Jews weren’t worshiping him enough, Caligula ordered Petronius, the governor of Syria, to build a massive statue of him inside the Temple in Jerusalem.^[2]

The Jews were ready to riot, and it probably would have turned into a full-on rebellion if Petronius hadn’t talked Caligula out of it. In the end, though, Caligula had Petronius’s head chopped off as punishment for making Caligula change his mind.

8 He Ordered His Army To Attack The English Channel

Legend has it that Caligula once declared war on Neptune, the god of the sea, and ordered his men to stab the English Channel.

There’s some reason to think that the story’s a little exaggerated. But there’s no question that Caligula sent an army to the English Channel, and even the soberest versions of the tale don’t paint Caligula in the best light. He still sent his army into the ocean.

The version accepted by most historians is that Caligula was leading a failing campaign against the Britons and his men were on the verge of revolt because he’d cut their pay. So, to make it up to them, he led his entire army—including the artillery—to the English Channel and told them that they could fill their helmets with as many seashells as they wanted.

In lieu of pay, his men were to take “spoils from the ocean” as their reward for their hard work. Anything they could fit in a hat was theirs for the taking, he promised them.

“Go your way happy!” Caligula told his men as they scooped shells and rocks out of the ocean. “Go your way rich!”^[3]

7 He Ordered A Mass Execution Because He Thought People Were Praying Against Him

When Caligula took the throne, he invited some of the political enemies of Tiberius, the last emperor, to come back to Rome. Caligula even invited one to sit down with him personally and then asked how the man had spent his time in exile.

“I constantly prayed [to] the gods for what has come to pass,” the man told him, “that Tiberius might die and you become emperor.”^[4]

He was trying to flatter Caligula, but it didn’t work out that way. Instead, the man accidentally got a few thousand people killed.

What Caligula got from the conversation was that this man had prayed to the gods for Tiberius’s death, and apparently, his prayers had been answered. That meant there was a pretty good chance that the people exiled by Caligula were praying against him, too.

After talking to the man, Caligula released an order to kill every person he’d ever exiled for trying to turn the gods against him. And he made it a long-term policy. From then on, when Caligula made an enemy, he had the person’s dead body paraded in front of him before he slept easy.

6 He Built Massive Floating Orgy Palaces

Caligula may have been crazy, but he definitely knew how to party. After he came to power, Caligula blew every penny he had on building two massive, floating pleasure palaces so that he could throw orgies inside.

Placed on Lake Nemi, these gigantic barges had prows covered in jewels and floors paved with glass mosaics. The vessels were filled with massive statues and golden cups. Even the sails were made of purple silk, a material so rare at the time that it was exclusively used to make the emperor’s clothes.^[5]

Caligula hosted crazy orgies on the Lake Nemi ships, and his favorite guests were his own sisters. But he didn’t stop at incest.

Caligula ordered his noblemen to bring their wives when they visited. He made them line up in front of him, inspected their bodies, and picked his favorite to bring into his chamber. Then he came back out, sat down with her husband, and made the man sit through a detailed review of how his wife was in bed.

5 He Rode A Horse Across A Gulf Just To Prove a Fortune-Teller Wrong

Caligula’s greatest achievement was building a 5-kilometer-long (3 mi) floating bridge across the Gulf of Baiae. At the time, a bridge like that was completely unheard of—and he did entirely out of spite.

Before he’d become emperor, an astrologer named Thrasyllus had predicted that Caligula had “no more chance of becoming emperor than of riding a horse across the Gulf of Baiae.” Caligula built the bridge just to rub it in that the astrologer had been wrong.^[6]

Caligula got every ship he could find to line up across the gulf. Then he had slaves lay earth on top of the ships to make a huge bridge. Caligula hopped on his horse and rode back and forth across the bridge for two days straight so that everyone knew the fortune-teller had been wrong.

4 He Had An Audience Devoured Alive Because He Was Bored

During intermission at the games of ancient Rome, criminals would be executed for the amusement of the crowd. After they had been lined up, their throats were slit while the audience either rewarded their deaths with light applause or shuffled out to get refreshments.

That wasn’t Caligula’s idea, but he was a big fan. Caligula liked the games so much that he made it illegal to schedule a court case or a funeral while the games were in session, just to make sure nobody missed them.

Once, when there were no criminals to be executed during intermission, he took matters into his own hands. He ordered his guards to throw a random section of the audience into the ring. Then he unleashed the animals so that he could watch these people get devoured alive.^[7]

3 He Wouldn’t Let Anyone Mention Goats Around Him

As a young man, Caligula had an issue with body hair—and he was very sensitive about it. Hair grew everywhere on his body except for the top of his head, where he had a bald spot.

He made sure, though, that no one got away with making fun of him. It’s likely that he stopped artists from drawing his bald spot as it shows up in written descriptions of him but rarely in ancient art. To deal with the hairiness, he made it a crime for anyone to say the word “goat” in his presence.^[8]

As emperor, he had the power to do pretty well anything he wanted as he frequently reminded everyone around him. He didn’t stop at banning people from talking about goats. In fact, he used his powers in ways only dreamed of in socially anxious Internet memes.

When he got fed up with having to talk to people all the time, Caligula made it illegal to greet him twice. Anyone who wanted to shake his hand could do it one time, but that was all you got. After that, you had to leave him alone—or else.

2 He Forced A Man To Drink With Him After Murdering The Man’s Son

Caligula once executed a man for being handsome. He spotted a good-looking man with a nice haircut and a snappy sense of fashion, and he got so jealous that he had the man executed for it.

The man’s father did everything he could to save his son’s life. He begged Caligula to spare his son, but it had the opposite effect. In response, Caligula sped up the son’s execution. But in return, Caligula invited the father to dine and drink with the emperor himself immediately following the son’s death.^[9]

The man was forced to drink a toast to the emperor’s health, eat food at his table, and accept every gift Caligula gave him, all while staring at the person who’d just killed his son. According to the senator Seneca, the father had to sit there and smile throughout, knowing that his other sons would die if he showed the slightest hint of grief.

1 He Threatened To Beat Up A God

It’s easy to think that Caligula might have just had a wicked sense of humor or that he might have been putting on a show. But there’s a lot of reason to think that the emperor was truly mentally ill.

There are reports that Caligula had major delusions throughout his life. Reportedly, he rarely slept for more than three hours at a time because his hallucinations were at their worst at night. For example, he once stayed up all night complaining that the ocean had been talking to him.

There are also reports that he would openly talk to the god Jupiter—but not in a devout, religious way. He’d argue with an imaginary god, carrying on heated conversations with a being that no one else could see.

The philosopher Seneca claimed that he once saw Caligula threaten Jupiter. They’d been watching a ballet when thunder started to crash across the horizon. Furious at the gods for interrupting his show, Caligula stormed outside, started yelling at Jupiter, and threatened to beat the god to death.^[10]

Which just might be the sobering reality behind the madness of Caligula. Some Roman emperors were made to seem mad by their detractors, and some went mad with power. But Caligula may just have been mad inside and out.