Often, scientific studies are meant to advance our understanding of the world, providing us with irreplaceable tools to solve our daily problems. Occasionally, though, science goes beyond the necessary and enters the realm of the ridiculous just because the scientists didn’t have anything better to do that day.

Ever hear a child ask stupid questions like: “What if birds pooped lying down?” Although most of us would laugh and ignore those questions, some scientists make a serious face and say, “Well, let’s find out.”

To know what we’re talking about, here are some of the most hilariously unnecessary scientific studies ever conducted.

10 How Different Are Apples And Oranges Really?

We’ve been comfortably using the supposed differences between apples and oranges in arguments at parties ever since someone came up with the simile ” . . . like comparing apples and oranges.” It makes sense, too, as they look and taste quite different and it serves the purpose of the argument well. That clearly didn’t sit well with surgeon James E. Barone, who decided to take a closer look at the whole thing.

As it turns out, according to an elaborate paper that was presented at the Connecticut Society of American Board Surgeons, apples and oranges are actually quite similar. After carrying out experiments—presumably hunched over their work desks for hours and looking all serious—they concluded that the only difference between apples and oranges was in their color and type of seeds. Otherwise, they might as well be the same fruit.

Thanks to them, we’re back to having no phrase to compare two seemingly unrelated things in casual conversations.^[1]

9 How Do Shrimps Fare Walking On A Treadmill?

What do you think when you look at shrimp?

For the foodies, it may be all about their texture and what they could be paired with. For the casual observer, they may look like just another one of the countless marine species that have no significant impact on our lives. For the scientists who carried out this study, though, the first question that came to their minds was: “So what if we put them on a treadmill?”

Under the guise of studying the effects of stress on marine life when they were only trying to decisively answer a ridiculous question by one of their kids, a couple of scientists injected some shrimp with bacterial infections and put them on a tiny underwater treadmill to see what would happen.

In a result that would not surprise—or even interest—anyone anywhere whatsoever, they concluded that uninfected shrimp performed better than their infected counterparts. The best (or worst) part? The study got $682,570 of taxpayer funding from the National Science Foundation.^[2]

8 Is It Better To Smash An Empty Or Full Beer Bottle On Someone’s Head?

Anyone who has ever been in a bar fight would remember the things that were going through his head at the time: “What’s happening?” “Am I bleeding?” “How will I get home?”

These are probably the most common things, though we can surely say that the science of what kind of beer bottles you should use to smash someone’s head wasn’t one of them. For the scientists who went forward and conducted that exact study, however, it was a question worth answering.

They took full as well as empty half-liter beer bottles and conducted a stress test on them in a drop tower, which tells us that they really prepared for this. As they found out, empty beer bottles broke at 40 J of energy and full ones at 30 J.

If that sounds like a significant difference, it’s really not. Both of those are enough to fracture the human skull, something that bar brawlers have known since bars (or beer bottles) were invented.^[3]

7 How To Pee To Avoid Splash Back?

For all the men out there, peeing in unfamiliar washrooms has always been a sort of gamble. One of the reasons is the splash-back mechanics of the pot. You never know how much of it you’re going to get on your shoes and pants, and we’ve all really made peace with the fact.

Is it worth spending resources and conducting a full-fledged scientific study on? No, most men would say—but not these three scientists who believe it’s a problem worth investigating.

In a study conducted at Brigham Young University in the appropriately named Splash Lab, they 3-D-printed a urethra and did all kinds of elaborate experiments to determine exactly what causes the worst kind of splash back. And by “elaborate,” we mean “elaborate”—with a team of scientists and a full-fledged lab setup.^[4]

They determined that the size of the pee droplets or the speed with which you pee doesn’t matter at all. Rather, it’s about the angle, even if most of us would have figured that out on one of our drunk nights without any lab equipment whatsoever.

6 What’s The Mathematical Formula For Perfect Cheese On Toast?

Putting cheese on toast seems like a perfectly straightforward thing to do. You just take the cheese and the toast and . . . put the cheese on top of the toast.

Sure, some people may want it to be perfect and may go to some lengths to incorporate advanced cheese-putting techniques into their breakfast routine. But by and large, people don’t seem to, say, need a mathematical formula to do it.

The Royal Society of Chemistry along with the British Cheese Board vehemently disagrees, though. They actually have a mathematical formula—complete with complex variables and units of measurement that have no business being on a formula for cheese on toast—to perfectly do it.^[5]

They tweaked the different variables—like the temperature and texture of the cheese—under strict lab conditions to come up with it, too, though we still maintain that there was absolutely no need for them to do so in the first place.

5 How To Walk Without Spilling Your Coffee?

Anyone who has ever had to get up from his desk and walk somewhere with a cup of coffee in one hand knows the problems that come with that decision. Unless you’re gifted at the art of balancing—or at least have spent considerable time practicing exactly that—there’s a good chance that you’ll spill some of it.

And for most of us, that’s a trade-off we’re willing to make as the more time that the coffee is in your immediate reach, the more coffee you can drink because coffee is awesome. Is the problem big enough for a scientific study, though? We don’t think so.

However, that’s not true for the scientists who have spent quite a bit of time trying to understand the physics behind coffee spills while walking. Using complex phrases like “fluid-structure interaction of the coffee cup,” “resonance region,” and “maximum spillage,” the study took an in-depth look into how we can optimize our walking-with-coffee experiences.

They concluded—totally without irony and presumably with straight faces—that one of the best ways to walk with coffee is to walk backward, even if you’d look stupid doing it and the spilling thing really is not that big of a problem anyway. They also suggest a clawlike hold of the cup to further improve the results.^[6]

4 Take A Photo Without Anyone Blinking?

If you’re the designated photographer for any family gathering (it’s not because you’re ugly, we swear; you’re just very good at it), you’ll be familiar with the problem of that one person who always ends up blinking in the final image, no matter what you do.

It’s not always the same person, either. It can be anyone, and they probably didn’t even do it consciously (unless some evil person is actually timing their blinks with the click for the kicks).

What’s really a nonissue for most casual photographers, however, is something worth studying for CSIRO physicist Dr. Piers Barnes. He employed probability and calculus to come up with an equation to determine exactly how many photographs you’d need to take (with a 99 percent confidence level) to ensure that you get one without anybody blinking.

He determined that the greater the number of people in the photo, the higher the chances of unintentional blinks. If the number of people is in the mid-range, say somewhere around 20, you’d have to take about six photographs if the light is good and about 10 if it’s not.^[7]

3 How Does Sitting For A Long Time Affect A Cow’s Ability To Stand Up?

We all know that cows are difficult to understand. You’re never sure what they want from just the expressions on their faces as they’re spectacularly devoid of any show of emotion. However, we can’t complain because they provide us with food and milk. They also laze about for a long time depending on how leisurely they’re feeling that day because, let’s face it, they’re cows and that’s what they do.

For the scientists who conducted this study, which was published in Applied Animal Behavior Science, there was evidently some scientific data to be collected among all the sitting down and standing up that the cows were doing, which the researchers set out to find. Data like “are cows that have been sitting down for a longer time more likely to stand up?”^[8]

After recording and studying tens of thousands of instances of cows lying down with specially installed sensors, the scientists concluded that, yes, the longer a cow sits, the more likely it is to stand back up.

2 How Uncomfortable Is Wet Underwear Really?

If you’ve ever found yourself in the rain or jumped into the water without a change of clothes at hand, you’d know the trouble you’re in—wet undergarments. Despite our presumably best efforts to advance underwear tech, not much progress has been made on how to minimize that discomfort. It’s bad, but then it’s also something we learn to live with.

Except for these scientists, who were just not buying it. Does it really make you uncomfortable?

To get to the bottom of it, they set up a study of their own—complete with test subjects and verifiable scientific research. They took eight men, put them in wet underwear, and monitored their skin and rectal temperatures as well as weight loss during a 60-minute period. This included details like the rate of shivering and visible discomfort.

In a result that would not be called surprising in any way, they concluded that, yes, wet underwear does make you colder and more uncomfortable and the thickness of the material played a big role in the results.^[9]

1 What’s Up With Navel Fluff?

The belly button serves no discernible purpose other than being part of the overall look of the body that we’d all look pretty creepy without. The only times we give it any attention are the few days we decide it needs to be cleaned out. Other than that, it’s sort of just there in the background.

If we asked you the exact nature of the fluff that accumulates there, most of us would reply with “probably dirt, who cares?” Though that’s not enough for this scientist from Vienna University of Technology, who spent over four years studying the precise contents of navel lint.

From 2005 to 2009, Georg Steinhauser collected 503 pieces of his own navel fluff and carefully studied it for clues as to what it could be. You can say that it turned into an obsession at some point as he also started asking other people about their navel fluff.

Hopefully, he added to his readings—or maybe he just weirded some people out for no reason. He concluded that the lint was actually directed by the type of hair found in the belly button and mostly came from the shirt or T-shirt he was wearing that day.^[10]

Himanshu can be found shouting obscenities at strangers on Twitter @RudeRidingRomeo or making amateur drawings on Instagram @anartism_. He has written for Screen Rant, Forbes, Cracked, Modern Rogue, and Arre. Pay him money for writing stuff for you here: [email protected]

[WARNING: This list contains disturbing fictional footage.] Movie fans have long contended that there are certain movie deaths that are just not plausible. These include ‘drowning’ in quicksand, being strangled to death in under a minute and decapitation by merely swiping a knife across someone’s neck.

With horror movies, it gets even worse, especially left to the creative minds of sick Hollywood types. Characters are cut into little pieces when pushed into a barbed wire fence or have their eyeballs pop out during laser surgery. Not to mention getting squashed by a flying car engine or having their heads popped open by falling weightlifting equipment. And this is all from just one movie franchise.

On this list are 10 more over-the-top horror movie deaths that (hopefully) wouldn’t happen in real life.

10 Shocking Horror Stories That Happened In Real Life

10 A stomp will do it

In Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Myers, who appears dead, is being transported in an ambulance. Unfortunately for one of the paramedics, Myers suddenly pulls an Undertaker move and sits up. He then proceeds to push his thumb into the poor man’s skull, thereby killing him. Now while this might look ‘awesome’ on screen, it would be literally impossible to do in real life.

This doesn’t stop Myers from continuing the implausible kills, however. In Halloween (2018) he not only yanks a man’s teeth from his mouth after ripping open his jaw, he also stomps on his psychiatrist’s head, squishing it to pieces in one very gruesome scene.

9Watch out for the wire

The opening sequence of Ghost Ship may be one of the most memorable in horror movie history, but it’s also one of the most unrealistic death scenes. A wire slices through passengers attending a party on the deck of a ship, cutting them in half.

While this scene is rather terrifying, and could be rather hard for squeamish viewers to watch, it is also highly improbable considering the amount of people one wire has to cut through, not to mention ribs and spines getting in the way.

MythBusters even tested the theory of a cable cutting a person in half and could not find any concrete evidence to support the possibility.

8 Glass pane that makes bones disappear

As mentioned in the intro, there is a certain movie franchise that has made it its business to come up with evermore over-the-top, unrealistic, yet highly entertaining death scenes. Each movie tries to outdo its predecessor and include weirdly contorted gymnasts, death by brick, bathtub incidents, wrenched bodies and more.

One death in particular had fans hit the pause and replay button, however. Simply because it was even more ridiculous than the others. In Final Destination 2, Tim Carpenter almost chokes to death during a dentist appointment and later also almost gets electrocuted. But Death had a much “simpler” plan for Carpenter.

In his last moments, Carpenter heads out of the building, rudely shoos away a bunch of pigeons and then gets rewarded by a massive falling glass plane that basically turns him into Jell-O. One might be tempted to ask what had happened to all the bones in this body, but that would just ruin the hilarity of the moment.

7 Sliced in half by… more glass

There is more glass in this entry, this time in the form of a door. Thirteen Ghosts was released in 2001 and introduced fans to a host of creepy characters including The Torso, The Great Child, The Angry Princess and The Jackal who all lurked in a spooky house.

Along with these horrifying beings came a multitude of character deaths, including a man cut in half by a car, another man thrown into spinning rings that cut him to pieces and a woman squashed between two glass walls.

The most talked about death scene, however, comes when a cocky lawyer walks past several of the ghostly inhabitants to get to a case filled with money, stashed away in the basement. He takes the case and then tries to make his way out only to be stalked by the Angry Princess and then absurdly split in half by a glass door. The lawyer’s front half then slides down the glass while the back half stays put against the other side of the door for a second or two. The surprised look on his face is truly priceless.

6 My eyes!

Rounding out a glass-trio, the glass in this entry comes from ordinary eyeglasses.

Carrie was released in 1976 and a sequel appeared many years later when The Rage: Carrie 2 was released in 1999. The movie is based on the real-life rapes and sexual assaults by a group of high school boys from California who called themselves the Spur Posse. These boys ‘kept score’ of their horrific acts by using a points system.

The star of the movie, Rachel, is enraged when her friend commits suicide after being humiliated by a football player she had slept with. She passes the information on to the local sheriff who attempts to charge the player, Eric, with statutory rape. This angers Eric’s friends who then target Rachel, not knowing she has telekinetic powers.

Inevitably, Rachel exacts her own revenge. Towards the end of the film, Eric and his friend Mark, together with Mark’s girlfriend, Monica, try to take on Rachel with harpoon guns. Rachel uses her powers to shatter Monica’s eyeglasses, effectively blinding her. In shock, Monica shoots Eric with her harpoon gun and they both bleed out and die. It is truly a scene that must be watched to be fully appreciated.

Top 10 Classic Horror Movie Misconceptions

5 You can microwave anything, apparently

The Last House on the Left also thrives on vengeance. A gang brutally assaults two young girls, killing one and raping the other. Mari, who was raped, manages to get away and jump into a lake but is then shot in the back by the man who attacked her.

The gang ends up seeking shelter from a raging storm at a nearby house. Unbeknownst to them, it is the house Mari had lived in with her parents. It is soon revealed that Mari is still alive, and her parents come to realize what has happened and who the people in their home really are. The couple plan revenge on the gang and end their unexpected reign of terror by injuring the rapist, Krug, to such an extent that he is paralyzed from the neck down. Mari’s father, John, then places Krug’s head in a microwave and turns it on. As the film ends, Krug’s head explodes in gruesome fashion.

This is a truly over-the-top gross out scene that technically shouldn’t have happened as a microwave doesn’t work with the door open. But since Krug deserved everything he got, we’ll just let this one slide. You can watch the clip here.

4 No vegetables, no dessert!

Sleepwalkers is a strange film but, to be fair, so are most of Stephen King’s creations. The movie features two incestuous Sleepwalkers (a mother and her son) who feed on female virgins and are deathly afraid of cats, as the felines can see through these creatures’ human disguise. Unsurprisingly, the movie received many unfavourable reviews after its release in 1992, but it does have somewhat of a cult following.

There are a lot of ridiculous scenes in the movie, including the Sleepwalker son breaking off a guy’s hand and then… handing it to him (pun intended). Not to mention the exceptionally cheesy dialogue that accompanies these scenes. At one point during the film the Sleepwalker mother, Mary Brady, walks up behind a police officer talking on his phone and she stabs him in the back. Her weapon of choice? A corncob. The best part about this hilarious scene is Mary’s line at the end: “No vegetables, no dessert. That’s the rule.”

3 Pancakes of death

Lumberjack Man is a comedy horror released in 2015, and as such the kills are supposed to be hilarious and outrageous. However, when it comes to food as murder weapon, this movie takes it one step further.

The killer, Lumber Jack, stalks teens and staff on a retreat during their annual camp. Lumber Jack is armed with a saw, axes and a rolling griddle that sports giant pancakes. He kills the teenagers and uses their blood in lieu of syrup to pour over the flapjacks. There are a lot of murders that include people being hacked to death with axes, heads impaled by spikes, a truly weird scene where a girl’s breast implants are torn out through her back and a police officer who gets his heart ripped out and plopped into his mouth.

The winner, however, has to be poor Courtney who gets beaten to death with a giant … yup, you guessed it … pancake.

2 Superman … erm… Jason punch!

Jason Voorhees is one of the creepier killers in horror movies. He is not on the Michael Myers level, but his hockey mask has been known to strike fear into the hearts of movie goers worldwide. Jason has been featured in a host of Friday the 13th movies and went head to head against Freddy Krueger in Freddy vs Jason.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan was released in 1989 and was deemed one of the weaker instalments in the series. The movie centres around Jason stalking high school students, first on a ship and then in NYC.

As expected, there are a multitude of murders throughout, with a hot rock from a sauna being used as a weapon, a woman being stabbed with a spear gun, throat slitting, stabbing and toxic waste drownings.

The most graphic (and unintentionally funny) scene comes when one of the victims tries to fight back only to have his efforts rewarded with a single powerful punch by Jason that sees his head fly clean off and land in a nearby dumpster.

1 Blended

You’re Next, released in 2011, focuses on estranged siblings reuniting at a dinner held in honor of their parent’s wedding anniversary at their childhood home. As the dinner progresses, the family suddenly finds itself under attack by unknown assailants who are determined to finish them all off.

What the attackers don’t know, however, is that one of the siblings, Crispian, has a girlfriend who is not afraid to fight back. Erin uses her survival skills with precision and brings her own revenge on the attackers by stabbing and bludgeoning them with a meat pounder.

It is eventually revealed that one of the siblings, Felix, and his partner Zee, hired the assassins to murder the family in the name of money (inheritance). They try to kill Erin, but she turns the tables on them and kills Felix with a blender. She first smashes it into Felix’s face, plunges the smashed carafe onto this head and ensures the blade pierces the skull before she turns the blender on. The blade effectively mushes Felix’s brains into a disgusting smoothie after which Erin jams a knife into the top of Zee’s head.

10 Horror Houses That Really Existed

Nearly all hotels offer package options designed to enhance a guest’s stay and overall experience. But some resorts are offering truly extravagant amenities. From the quirky to the just plain bizarre, some hotels have determined that these odd extras are exactly what they need to set them apart from the rest of the pack.

Even stranger, guests are willing to pay excessive amounts for these services. However weird and wild the offering may be, guests can be certain that they’ll receive a genuinely memorable experience and some seriously unique stories to pass along.

10 Happy Guest Lodge

The name really says it all. At the Happy Guest Hotel in Warrington, UK, the staff just wants to please their guests. They are willing to go the extra mile to make that happen, even if it means accommodating the lonely customer.

The management provides clients with a unique service—a sleeping partner in the form of a goldfish. Guests who opt for this scaly company are charged £5 and a goldfish named “Happy” is placed in their rooms.

The hotel’s website boasts that the world-famous goldfish provides guests with company for the evening and instills a sense of joy in the client, one that creates a truly interesting environment. Guests making a reservation online can book Happy ahead of time to ensure that their little buddy will be waiting in their room upon arrival.

So why a goldfish?

Well, the hotel’s owner believes that this little fish provides a sense of comfort, a sounding board, and unconditional love to the guest after a hard day. The owner states that clients may even find themselves missing Happy between stays. Never fear, though. Happy or his stand-in will be available for your next stay.

9 Family Pillow Fight Package

Combining the nostalgia of a slumber party with the comforts of a five-star resort sounds like the perfect combo. The Ritz-Carlton has long been known as a top hotel, offering several services to enhance a guest’s experience.

However, the Ritz in Palm Beach, Florida, offers some extra-special attention to guests traveling as a family—the family pillow fight package. This package costs a whopping $60 and includes a bag of satin pillows, a CD, and a book of family games to play together.

Although the cost of this family package may seem rather steep, the management at the Ritz believes that it provides an opportunity for families to bond over fun and feathers. Songs on the included CD are meant to rile up the pillow participants, featuring classics like “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.”

8 Swimsuit Vending Machines

We are all familiar with packing in a hurry and forgetting some of the most essential items for a marvelous vacation, like a bathing suit. To avoid taking a dip in your birthday suit or heading over to the hotel gift shop which so often stocks less than stylish options, the Standard Hotel chain has come up with a rather innovative solution—a bathing suit dispenser.

The vending machine offers big name brands like Quiksilver and style options for both men and women. Available in an array of different sizes and colors, the designs are inspired by the look and feel of the hotel chain.

The machine even prints local hot spots on the waistband so that guests can hit the town after their dip in the pool. The trunks and two-piece suits are not cheap, however. Expect to spend at least $75 if you forget your suit.

7 Dog Surfing Lessons

The Su’ruff Camp at Loews Coronado Bay Resort & Spa offers a unique opportunity to give our furry friends a chance to ride the waves. The surfing camp at this San Diego–based hotel caters specifically to Fido, giving him a chance to shred some waves instead of shredding his toys. The owner of the surf academy believes that all dogs have the ability to surf; it simply takes a little training.

The hotel holds an annual dog surfing contest where all breeds can come together and compete for the honor of best surfing pooch. Other pet perks at the hotel include pet walkers, pet sitters, and even a special pet room service menu with all types of canine delicacies. The pets are treated as true VIPets when they come to Loews.

6 Fragrance Butler

Providing the perfect scent for guests is important to the staff at Rosewood Hotel properties. It’s a rather brilliant move given that TSA restrictions severely limit the amount of liquid that a passenger can bring on a plane.

Rosewood Hotels has designed their olfactory experience in a truly luxurious manner, with a fragrance butler serving up a variety of bottled perfumes and colognes.

Available for sniffing 24 hours a day, the butler features top brands such as Hermes, Chanel, Givenchy, and Dior. Each hotel has a curated list of scents that reflect the setting of the resort. If someone wishes to mist themselves in a specific scent, they simply ring up the butler and he will arrive, silver tray in hand.

5 Bird Delivers Engagement Ring

At the Ashford Castle in Ireland, a guest who is planning to pop the question to his significant other has the option to deliver the engagement ring in a truly memorable fashion—by owl. Dingle is a European eagle owl that has been living at the castle since 1999 and has talons large enough to clutch a sizeable rock.

There are many birds living on the grounds as the castle has a falconry school. Guests can take classes with the animals to learn about the ancient form of falconry. Of all the birds on the grounds, none is more popular than Dingle, perhaps because of his romantic job.

The three-night proposal package offered by the hotel includes a couple’s massage, champagne, a boat ride, a cozy dinner by candlelight, and the grand finish—Dingle swooping in to deliver the ring. With a cost of around $2,000, this service fills up quickly because it is probably one of the coolest ways to pop the question.

4 V-Day Haters Package

One hotel chain has become creative with their unromantic “I Hate Valentine’s Day Package,” especially for guests who are opting to enjoy this Hallmark holiday their own way.

For those who wish to celebrate the holiday solo, Night and the Time Hotels in New York has quite the evening planned. It begins with a table for one at the upscale restaurant Serafina where the diner will be given a free double shot of liquor upon arrival. If the guest decides that he or she would rather stay in, the hotel sets up the “adult entertainment” channel in the room for 24 hours of viewing pleasure.

The housekeeping staff also offers a special turndown service for the haters, which is known as the “Love Hurts” turndown. It includes black candles, a box of tissues, two mini bottles of tequila, all-you-can-eat ice cream, and a wide array of breakup movies. For the morning after, the hotel staff provides guests with the final hurrah—breakfast in bed and a few self-help books.

3 Best Man For Hire

The Best Man for Hire service at South Carolina’s Wild Dunes Resort ensures that the groom will not be without a companion on the big day. The hotel insists that the groom be fawned over and receive the attention that the bride traditionally gets on her special day.

Thus, the Best Man for Hire package aims at providing the ultimate wingman. This pseudo best man will not disappoint his groomzilla, handling everything from delivering the perfect best man speech to administering CPR on a wedding attendee in trouble.

Obviously, a couple who employs this best man is doing so with a sense of humor and deep pockets because his services are certainly not cheap. The groom can expect to pay $150 per hour, $650 for a half day, $1000 for a full day, and $2000 for a weekend.

2 Personal Oxygen Devices

Although the air in Boston is certainly not as polluted as many other big cities around the world, that is not stopping Boston’s Revere Hotel from selling personal oxygen devices (PODs) to its guests.

For those who want them, the PODs are available at $40 a pop in all of the hotel’s suites. That may seem inexpensive at first, but the PODs contain only 2.5 ounces of oxygen. That’s a full 40 breaths, which comes out to a whopping $1 per inhale.

According to the Revere, the 18-centimeter (7 in) oxygen bottle is sleek and perfect for traveling around town. It fits easily inside a handbag. Apparently, the POD offers a rich, refreshing dose of clean pure air that will revive the busy tourist. The hotel also states that the bottle can be used with one hand and requires minimal effort.

1 Robot Staff

Technology surprises us at every turn. For example, the Henn-na Hotel in Japan uses a robot staff to help guests with their every need. The robots check in guests, carry luggage to rooms, and make cups of coffee. The robots are known as “actroids,” a type of humanoid robot.

The actroids closely resemble young Japanese girls, even down to hand gestures, facial expressions, and speech. The robots are known to giggle at guests’ remarks and have the ability to switch languages between Japanese, English, Chinese, and Korean.

The humanlike robots were created at Osaka University and manufactured by Kokoro, the same company that licenses Hello Kitty. The university has been working on the actroids for well over a decade and continuously strives to make them more advanced. The robots even have software to sense moods.

Lee DeGraw is a freelance writer with an inquiring mind. She can usually be found huddled beside a campfire with her nose in a book.

If you’re of the thinking that beer begins and ends with Budweiser, prepare to have blown by the sheer variety of flavor and strength of the weird and wonderful brews that we’ve collected below. After a fair bit of “in-field research” and numerous two-day hangovers, here is our list of the strongest beers and ales around. Enjoy.

10. Hakusekikan Brewery, Japan (Hurricane, 15% ABV)

Wading into deep water straight away, we have this beautiful beer from Japan. Termed a Barley wine, this is a strong ale that is accented by its hard-hitting aroma, with punches of fruit and kicks of pepper

and parsley. As often is the case, this barley wine pours “flat” with no head, though it still has its effervescence.

Dark coffee in color, this beer is murky and has a deceptively sweet taste with cinnamon and pear flavors. DO NOT trust this beer though; at 15% ABV it will tempt you to have another, then another – and you’ll go to stand up and realize it has taken control of your legs, literally going out of its way to ensure an unsteady walk home.

9. The Bruery, USA (Chocolate Rain, 19.5% ABV)

A big jump now to a beer that is almost 20% ABV, Chocolate Rain (yes, it is probably named after the song) is an impressive imperial stout, very much like the world-renowned Guinness, but stronger feistier and smoother. It truly does taste of chocolate, with hints of liquorice and vanilla. It pours a darkish brown, and smells kind of like turpentine at first. Once this clears, a weird raisin and vanilla smell punch through.

To get this unique taste, they brew up a batch of another one of their beers, Black Tuesday, and leave it to stoop in a bourbon barrel with cocoa nibs and vanilla beans. Barely bubbly, this is probably the best beer on this list, and it makes you sorry to finish the bottle. This is something you would probably break out at Christmas – like a mulled wine.

8. Cannabrew LTD, United Kingdom (Cannabis Infused Beer)

They discovered the benefits of CBD during a semi-professional rugby career back in 2019. Sick and tired of aches and pains, Elliot (their Founder) was introduced to CBD. Matched with his unrivalled passion for craft beer, he set about creating one of the UK’s first CBD infused craft breweries.

As CBD products become better known on the worldwide stage, it is important to highlight their uncommon flavor. It’s complex and unusual, perhaps due to the process it is made. Rather than hops, it is brewed from cannabis. As with all beers, the yeast is key to the beer’s overall taste and finish – and they have kept particularly quiet about theirs.

7. De Struise Brouwers, Belgium (Five Squared, 25% ABV)

And now for something complete different, and far more nasty. The De Struise brewery in Belgium brewed up this extra-special high-strength ale for charity. Known collectively as a Belgium quad, these types of high beers have been brewed by Trappist monks for centuries.

This limited run came sealed with what seemed like several candles worth of wax, in a gratuitously big bottle, as if they were trying to cause as much damage to head and liver and wallet as possible. It doesn’t taste as strong as it is; with a rich, almost butterscotch taste, this beer is a very damn drinkable beer.

This beer is absolutely recommended if you can find it, but be warned; as part of a limited run, the few bottles that are left will be expensive.

6. Brew Dog, Scotland (Tactical Nuclear Penguin, 32% ABV)

One of the true titans of the beer world, this Scottish imperial stout boasts a percentage that would give most spirits a run for their money. Like many stouts, this beer is an exceedingly dark brown, viscous with coffee and syrupy tasting notes. This beer is aged in whisky barrels, and has adopted a smoky flavor, with hints of dried rich fruits.

The method for achieving a beer with such a brutal ABV is a simple as it is genius: after it had sat in various whisky casks, the boys at Brew Dog sent their first batch off to an ice cream factory, where the brew was frozen. All but the most alcoholic fluid is frozen in the process, and the remaining liquid is drained off and bottled, leaving you with a huge 32% ABV.

5. Schorschbräu, Germany (Schorschbock, 43% ABV)

Talk about a vindictive beer. The wonderful brewers at Schorschbräu were not happy with Brew Dog making a beer stronger than theirs, so they created this short-run brew in retaliation. Known in Germany as an “Eisbock,” and using a similar freeze method, Schorschbock maxes out at 43% ABV. That’s an average whisky strength and, unlike its monochromatic rival, tastes like brandy or scotch.

It pours dead with no head whatsoever, and is a light to darkish brown in color. As you might expect, this brew is thick, oily and, like a good wine, has legs that run down the glass when you swirl it. The taste is strong with caramel notes and woody malt, finishing with a strong sweet bitterness.

4. Brew Dog, Scotland (End Of History, 55% ABV)

The war continues. In retaliation, Brew Dog unleashed “The End Of History” as a repost to their Germanic rivals. Part of a small batch brew, and sporting a £500 price tag, this beer also boasted the title of most expensive beer in the world. Each bottle was uniquely styled, and as eccentric as the brewers who made it.

How eccentric? Well, a simple label would not suffice for such a strong beer, so the boys at Brew Dog did away with them altogether, and instead stuffed each bottle into various taxidermy animals, made from local road kill.

A lot of forethought was put into this, and the patience truly does show – even the beer’s “title” has been thought out, and is an homage to the American philosopher Francis Fukuyama suggesting that this “brew is to beer as democracy is to history.” It also hinted that this would be the last of Brew Dog’s high-strength tipples.

More than a beer, this extremely powerful brew tastes as though it has been left to float in a batch of scotch. The beer itself seems almost an afterthought, though hints of marzipan and raisin come through in the finish: a reminder that, underneath the veneer, this is still a very good and actually quite humble beer.

3. Schorschbräu, Germany (Schorschbock Finis Coronat Opus, 57% ABV)

Perhaps there was a reason that Brew Dog stopped when they did; its eventual unseater is just plain unforgiving, with a Latin name that translates to “the end crowns the work.” This beer is like bitumen: thick, unpalatable, and will probably do something vicious to your insides. It’s a robust Eisbock akin to a fine peaty scotch in how it burns as you drink it. Quite frankly, it offends all five senses, so if you’re into that sort of thing, drink away.

With warming malts and heavy sugary undertones, there’s no head, it is deceptively still for such a vindictive explosion of boozy power. This is not a drink to consume alone, but with friends. If you can lay hands on a bottle, it certainly is an experience.

2. T’koelschip, The Netherlands (Start The Future, 60% ABV)

With the competition between Brew Dog and Schorschbräu over, Dutch brewer T’koelschip stepped into the fracas with its own super-strength behemoth of a beer, an Eisbock named Start The Future. This is a playful dig at the Brew Bog boys’ “The End Of History’. It pours a pallid amber color, with a very strong boozy nose. It’s viscous, with a hint of fruit and a bitter floral hop finish

This is an impressive beer, though once you approach the 60% ABV margin, you begin to sacrifice flavor for pure strength. As an experience, this beer will be remembered fondly, by both you and the poor souls you talked into drinking it.

1. Brewmeister, Scotland (Armageddon, 65% ABV)

This one is just plain scary. An insane new brewery called Brewmeister crafted the aptly-named Armageddon, which rivals the strengths of hard hitting special batch scotch whisky’s such as Edradours’ (65%), and Laphroaig’s Quarter Cask (62%.) It’s somehow both extremely bitter (with the consistency of a weak gravy,) and surprisingly mild, with none of the hard-hitting alcohol taste present in other high-strength beers.

However they achieved such a miracle, Armageddon still clocks in at an absolutely evil 65% APV, and is currently the strongest beer in the world. Until somebody dares break the 70% barrier, that is. And yes, that is a challenge.

As we all know, gold is a precious metal that society has cherished since the beginning. Initially, it was used only as a currency, a stable way to exchange goods and services. As time went on, things changed. Although money to an extent is backed by gold, it is more prominently known as a status symbol. In most cases, gold doesn’t make an item “better”, it is simply there for the sake of being there. While it makes sense to have gold jewelry, as it is a rather appealing, shiny color, there are many things it is added to just to raise the price. People buying these items just want the status that comes with having gold, as gold is closely related to luxury. To give some examples of these items, here are the top 10 most ridiculously expensive golden objects.

Top 10 Most Outrageously Expensive Everyday Objects

10 Gold Grill – $400

Starting off with a classic, the gold grill, a statement of wealth popular within the music industry. Grills became popular in the early 80’s, appearing in many rap/hip-hop music videos. This trend is still around today, although it is no longer as connected to rap as it once was. There are many shops/jewellers that can fit you with your own custom grills for around $400.

These are quite ridiculous though because they don’t really serve any purpose aside from status. In addition to their lack of function, they can also be quite bad for your teeth as the gold metals can be quite acidic and can harm your teeth. Repairing these ailments caused by grills will most likely end up costing more than the grills themself. So unless you have the spare cash to fix your teeth as well, you may want to avoid this one.^[1]

9 Gold Casket – $24,000

Up next is a 24k gold casket. A burial with this specific casket is known as the golden send off and has been used in the past with some famous celebrities. This casket is made with care and features an all around 24k gold plated appearance. Surprisingly, this item only costs $24,000, whereas some smaller things coming up are worth a lot more. It is a shame that anyone who uses this, won’t really get to experience it for themselves, but is more of a gesture to those at the funeral. Gone are the days of using just plain old wood for a casket and here are the days of golden everything!^[2]

8 Gold Clic Glasses – $75,000

Wipe your glasses for this one, because you sure are seeing the price right! At a humble $75,000 you can get your very own pair of sunglasses! Oh it should probably be said that they are also fully made out of gold – the majority of where its price comes from. While it may just seem like a blatant cash grab, there is actually a surprising amount of effort that goes into each and every one of these glasses. A skilled worker takes around 40 hours just to complete one, it’s safe to say that they are indeed mad with a bit of love and care. Though it probably doesn’t justify its price tag as you could still feel that effort if you just ask for some of your grandmother’s baking.^[3]

7 Golden BBQ Grill – $111,000

Heating things up, we have a golden grill! Unlike the previous “Grills”, this item actually has the capability to cook some food. Though what it does have in common with the grills is a price tag that doesn’t exactly correlate with what it actually does for you. You see, this gold grill actually costs around $111,000 US dollars. For that kind of money, you could buy thousands of grills that serve the same purpose.

With most gold items, this too only really serves as a status symbol, as you could get essentially the same grill for only a fraction of its cost. Maybe if it was completely autonomous and cooked your food for you, then it might justify its price, but as of right now it’s just made for the people who have a little too much money to spend.^[4]

6 Gold Shirt – $250,000

Continuing on we have an all gold shirt! Now gold is a very common component in jewelry but this is rather over the top. This shirt is a one of a kind piece commissioned by the Indian millionaire Datta Phuge, looking for the most luxurious status symbol. While other people go for nice cars or houses, this man’s true desire is gold. At a whopping 7 pounds, this highly impractical shirt cost him $250,000 and judging by any pictures of him, he is entirely proud of his decision.

It may seem like a complete waste of money, it’s actually not too bad, as you could easily sell the shirt for quite literally its weight in gold. It’s quite the awkward piece but it will definitely garner the attention of anyone who sees it.^[5]

10 Simple But Costly Math Errors In History

5 Gold Elizabeth Coin – $1M

Rolling its way in is the gold Elizabeth coin. The Canadian mint went above and beyond with this one, creating a massive, all gold coin, worth $1,000,000 at face value, but more to collectors. This was supposed to be a one of a kind mint, but due to its high popularity, 5 total have been made to satiate its demand. It’s original purpose was not to be sold, but a promotional piece to promote the mints new 1oz maple leaf coins. Instead, the promotional piece took the spotlight. This coin is so impressive that it even broke a record!

For obvious reasons this coin holds the honor of being the largest gold coin. Sadly, I don’t believe any stores will tender this coin, so the only way to spend it is to sell it. Though I’m sure any buyers are going to keep it safe on display for a while!^[6]

4 Golden Toilet Paper $1.3M

Now this next item is rather humorous, as it is toilet paper! Costing 1.3 million dollars per roll, this roll of toilet paper is not going to be replacing regular rolls anytime soon. Now surprisingly, the company who made it indeed does claim that it is safe to use, but you’d have to be a maniac not to put it on display! This takes luxury to a whole other level as this is a highly disposable piece, meaning that once you use it, it’s gone forever. With most gold items, they will at least last for 10+ years, as they should with such a high price, but this stands a part from the rest. This item is only meant for the insanely rich and should definitely not be something that you save for. But hey, at least it comes with a “free” bottle of champagne.^[7]

3 Bugatti Veyron Diamond Ltd – $2.9M

Next up is the Bugatti Veyron toy car. As you probably know, anything with Bugatti in its name is usually rather expensive, and this toy car keeps that trend going. At a measly $2.9 million dollars, this intricately detailed and beautiful miniature replica could be yours.

The grand price tag is due to two main reasons, the way it was made, and of course the material it’s made out of. The car is a 1/18th scale Bugatti Veyron, and its building process took around 2 months to complete. This is no factory production, rather it is an art piece where authenticity was paramount. In addition to the skillful craftsmanship, the car is also made of complete gold with some diamond accents, which definitely spike up the price quite a bit. This item may be for you if you are a billionaire, but probably isn’t the best Christmas gift for your kid.^[8]

2 1933 Double Eagle – $10M

Coming up next is the “$20” 1933 Double Eagle gold coin. At first it looks like any ordinary coin, but its true value comes from its rich history. The gold coin had its debut in 1933 and was originally supposed to be worth only $20; but due to laws that forbid the “hoarding of gold coin” saw to it that almost its entire supply be destroyed. Out of the roughly 500,000 coins that were minted, only around 13 remain today. Essentially, this was a banned coin and so its notoriety and scarcity are what contribute to its worth.

There is no set price to this coin, so it’s up to the buyer to determine what it’s worth, and so the most recent transaction for one of these coins is around $10 million dollars. Paying $10 million for $20 does not seem like a great deal, but to those who absolutely adore coin collecting, it may just be worth it. Though, to the common person looking for $20, they should probably just look for a job.^[9]

1 Gold iPhone 5 – $15M

This one doesn’t need too much explaining, it’s a gold iPhone! This item tests the limits of blinging out your tech, at a whopping 15 million dollars. This iPhone’s design is rather intricate, featuring a solid gold base with 100’s of small diamonds along the sides and on the Apple logo itself. Taking it one step farther, is an elusive black diamond, the centerpiece of this majestic device. Although this phone is rather old, being a 5, it still remains 1st as the world’s most expensive phone. At least now you can say you have a phone that works better than a $15 million dollar one.^[10]

10 Enigmatic Gold Artifacts

What’s considered offensive is as elusive as attempting to hit a ripple in the water with a bow and arrow. What is funny for one person raises the hackles in another. Few other areas in our culture better illustrates this than in the games we play. We’ve explored the subject of offensive board games before, but the subject is far from exhausted. What’s more, this ignored other table-top contests such as card games. Here are 10 games that might bring a smile to some and ire to lots and lots and lots of others.

Related: Top 10 Deadliest Children’s Games

10 Is The Pope Catholic!?!

Advertised as a game of nostalgia for Catholics and non-Catholics who remember Catholicism before Vatican II (1962-1965) reshaped the church, Is the Pope Catholic!?! “takes a tongue-in-cheek look at the church when it was very rigid and contained a lot of do’s and dont’s,” said co-developer Richard Crowley. “We think it contributes to healing some painful memories of those days for Catholics.” Richard – along with his brother John – are Roman Catholic and they spent $50,000 and four years developing this game before its release in the mid-1980’s. Despite their efforts, they couldn’t help put fall into stereotypes that raised eyebrows in the older Catholic community.

Players roll die to progress along a route shaped like a rosary, acquiring chips that elevate the player from altar boy to priest to monsignor to bishop to cardinal and finally to pope. If they land on a sin rosary bead, they draw a card and lose a turn in the “box” or the confessional. For example, one card informs you that while returning from Holy Communion, the Host is stuck on the roof of your mouth. When no one is looking, you finger it free. God, however, is looking and you’re sent to the confessional. Other sins include using church money for candy or getting drunk on sacramental wine.

“Grace” beads – such as attending mass on minor holidays—provide an extra turn. If the player lands on a “Baltimore Bonus” bead, you must answer a question straight from the Baltimore Catechism before you can proceed. And if you land on a “Meet Me After School” bead, you draw a card with a surly nun holding a ruler, and you lose a turn as punishment for some school infraction. As a bonus, these cards also feature the names of real nuns who taught and tortured the Crowley brothers at St. Clement’s Grammar and High School in Boston.

9 12-21-12 (2013)

In 2013, a small game developer from St. Louis called Fishagon LLC published a card game named “12/21/12,” the date the Mayans supposedly predicted the world would end. Fishagon was launched – according to their Facebook page—by three friends who loved games in October 2012 just over two months before the Mayan apocalypse. And crude and offensive “jokes” appear to be the game’s selling point.

The game’s premise was to ask how the player would like to spend their “last day on Earth.” But instead of encouraging nobler, less-interesting final pursuits such as helping others or spending time with loved ones, points are given or taken from other players by describing how they’d tell off their boss, steal and joyride a car or explore pedophilia. “They say to live like it’s your last day alive… but you don’t. You know if you did you’d go to prison the following day,” says the product description. It adds: “Today, however, there is no tomorrow….Drink, Play Games, Murder, Masturbate, Hell you could even rape someone or give in to those temptations and go find a nice child to touch!”

8 BabeQuest (2003)

The table-top game “BabeQuest (2003)” – yes, adding the year is essential because it will not surprise anyone that a Goggle search will reveal some pretty lewd links – was published by the Danish developer Mads L. Brynnum and two of his friends. “It was a result of us not scoring enough, so instead of just drinking beers and complaining about our apparent lack of success with the opposite sex, we decided to make a card game about getting laid,” Brynnum posted.

The premise is not surprising: the player who “scores” the most babes wins the game. There are 14 cards representing “hunting grounds” and 28 cards representing potential prey. The players (in both senses of the name) roll dice to see if their approaches to a woman are successful and they can increase their odds with cards that ply them with alcohol, or catch their attention with a nice car or leisure suit. The other players can utilize cards that can sabotage the approach with things like a lame pick up line. One example of a babe card is that of The Blonde: “She is found everywhere and has an IQ that is inversely proportional to her breast size. She falls for the oldest tricks in the book.” It even adds an “actual blonde quote” which reads: “The sound barrier? I’ve heard of it—isn’t it the one in China?”

7 Twinkies and Trolls (1983)

Along similar lines as BabeQuest, Twinkies and Trolls was published in 1983 by the owners of the gay bar “Buddies” in Boston. The inventors described the game as a “lighthearted reflection of gay life and the gay lifestyle.” Inspired by Hasbro’s The Game of Life, players start from a closet and visit their first gay bar, and “baths” in New York, San Francisco, Provincetown and Ft. Lauderdale, collecting trolls (gay slang for old, ugly men) and twinkies (young, attractive men). The player with most of the latter wins.

The game is famous for its stereotypical and offensive situations it portrays both on the board spaces and on the situation cards, most of which cannot be repeated here. One of the tamer cards reads: wealthy sugar daddy takes you to Puerto Rico for a month, collect $10,000 spending money but lose one turn. Another reads: caught with a cute hustler by your lover, receive three troll cards. One space on the board reads: your favorite “glory hole” is nailed shut, lose 15 points. Another reads that after a lonely, depressing night at home, you eat your chocolate dildo and lose 15 points.

6 The Jolly Darkie Target Game (1890)

In September of 1881, a carnival promoter in Indiana came up with the idea of chaining a monkey to a table and allowing people to throw balls at it for a couple of pennies. The universal outrage that followed forced the promotor to close down his game. Undeterred, he painted a jungle scene on a bed sheet stretched between two poles with a hole in the center. He hired a black man to stick his head through the hole and anyone who paid could throw baseballs at his head. The game, known as “The African Dodger” and later as “Hit the Coon” or “N— in the Hole,” became a nationwide sensation. Carnivals and fairs all over the country had their own versions and not just in the South.

An August 30, 1888, Nebraska State Journal article described the game at a local fair, the barker shouting: “Here you are gentlemen; three balls for five cents or six for ten cents. Come now, kill the coon; kill him I say! Hit his head once and you get one cigar, twice and you get two cigars, three times and you get a half dollar.” The anonymous writer then described how two youths broke the rules and threw their first baseballs at the same time: “one ball caught the darky on the ear, the other on the top of the head… [the African-American] became so confused that he didn’t know enough to take his head out of the hole. Each threw their remaining five balls in rapid succession, and while some of them missed,… enough of them hit him to give him a swelled eye and the [blood] began to flow. You should have heard the crowd shout. How they did cheer!”

Worse injuries incurred when an amateur or pro baseball player tried their hand at the game. In South Dakota in 1908 a pro knocked a man’s teeth out. In 1898 several Chicago pros took turns throwing at William Kelley’s head, sending him to the hospital, “his face was like a puff ball and that his eyes were badly swollen.” Inevitably there were deaths. There were two within a week of each other in 1924 in New Jersey, one in Hackensack, the other in Elizabeth.

It’s not hard to see similarities between the violence of “African Dodger” to other violence perpetrated against African-Americans. Even at the time, people noticed. In a 1913 Indiana Evening News editorial, one writer equated the excitement generated by hurting the dodger to lynch mob mentality. “The impulse to hit the darky is akin to that which creates the blood lust in the mob.” Historians claim that between 1882 and 1968 there were more than 3,440 lynchings in America were recorded, the approximate time “The African Dodger” was popular.

Eventually “The African Dodger” was made into a table-top game for home use, complete with the head of an African American that rang a bell every time it was struck with the ball. It was one of many target games published in this era. Parker Brothers produced “The Game of Sambo” in the early 20th century which featured African-American caricatures to be targeted. “Bean-em” was a beanbag target game with black figures. Then there’s The Jolly Darkie Target Game. Published in 1890 by McLoughlin Brothers (later merged with Milton Bradley Company), the Jolly Darkie is played on one end of the table, with the players on the other end. Players get a point if their ball lands in the darkie’s grinning mouth, and the ball will roll out one of three holes at the bottom, giving the player extra points assigned to each hole.

5 Kill the Hippies (2007)

Published in 2007 by Golden Laurel Entertainment, participants, according to the product description, are “members of the fanatical right” or “fundies” (fundamentalist Christians) “in their Holy Crusade to rid the world of those dirty hippies.” Billed as a satirical card game that is “fun for the whole church group,” players decide from the outset the winning number of points, deriving them from either killing a hippie or converting them.

There are two decks of cards, the smaller deck containing 15 hippie cards from which five or more are drawn. Examples of the hippies portrayed on these cards are the Faerie Wicca Girl, the Shaman Tree Hugger, the Spirit Guide Channeler, and the Flower Child. One hippie card shows an amputee in a wheelchair, titled “Disabled Vietnam Vet,” with instructions at the bottom saying they can be “converted instantly” if the fundie uses alcohol. At the bottom of each card is a quote that may or may not be relevant to the hippie. For instance, the Faerie Wicca Girl’s card has an unattributed quote: “Girls are like parking spaces… The good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.” At the bottom of the Folkie card is a quote from John Lennon: “We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock and roll or Christianity.”

The other deck has “Deeds,” “Relics,” and “Events” cards in them. An example of a Deed card is one titled “Favorite Televangelist on TV” and shows a man in a chair watching television with a woman performing a sex act on him while he balances a beer can on her head. The Fundie loses their turn if they draw that card. The Deed card “Accusation of Sexual Deviance” shows a naked man putting lipstick on, a radio playing music in the background with a pack of cigarettes on the chair. The player who receives this card can take a kill and a convert from another player.

Relics cards are used to either convert or kill the hippie. One example has a woman with her clothes ripped and her panties lying beside her and kneeling before a baptismal dubbed the “Font of Revirginization.” Three points can be used to convert a hippie, 1 point for killing them. Other relics include the “Lighter of Purification” (a cigarette lighter with a cross on its side used on a hippie drenched in gasoline); the “Rosary of Saint Garrotte (sic)” (rosary used as a garrote); the “Hymn Book Holster” (pistol and silencer in hymnal with fitted slots); and a “Hillbilly Exorcism” (two hillbillies restraining a hippie, one unbuckling his pants, an overt reference to the movie Deliverance) Another card, titled “Compound Bow,” shows Jesus with said weapon, standing atop a pile of corpses with arrows protruding from them. At the bottom is a quote of Jesus (out of context) from Matthew 10:34: “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

Event cards change the rules temporarily or through out the game. For instance, one card called “Suburban Upbringing,” remains in play one entire round, adding one point for every conversion or killing of a hippie. The illustration on the card shows a house with a couple sitting on a porch swing, an abandoned car in the yard and their kids with Ku Klux Klan hoods.

The creators of the game seem a bit sensitive to criticism, because they devoted space in their instructions to the following: “If you do not see the humour (sic) in this game, watch South Park, Family Guy, or The Colbert Report – this is called satire, this is called irony. Read Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels, A Modest Proposal; read some Oscar Wilde, pick-up a f-ing book. Get educated.” Their admonishment is actually an example of irony since there are misspellings in their product (or at least alternate, archaic spellings), misleading quotes and they equate irony with satire. Not the same.

4 Pain Doctors: The Game of Recreational Surgery (1996)

Based on his book The Pain Doctors of Suture Self General, Alan M. Clark collaborated on the artwork for this game. Clark is famous in the horror community for his dark, twisted illustrations, winning the World Fantasy Award, and his work has won multiple Chelsey Awards and Locus and International Horror Guild nominations. Many purchased the game to collect Clark’s artwork.

In “Pain Doctors,” the players are surgeons operating in “The Facility,” attempting to perform procedures on patients who are not even healthy enough to survive surgery. While each crazy surgeon does everything they can to increase the health of their patient, opponents do the opposite, going so far as to kill the patient. Each player is dealt three patients, already grotesquely deformed by previous recreational surgeries. For instance, one patient is named John Austentatous who looks more like a store mannequin than a human with a brief caption that reads: “John used to surf the net. Now he does well to roll on a gurney.” And Martha Ewing, “a federal agent” who came to the Facility to investigate fraud, but was “convinced” to stay, is shown as a patient with goo running out of her eye sockets.

Each patient starts with 5 life points and is assigned to a ward, either “addicts,” “geeks,” or “Batty.” Each player also received 4 treatment cards. These cards lift or lower the health of patients. For instance one card delivers a letter from Mom, raising the patient’s life points by 5. Another card reads that a nurse forgot to wash their hands, spreading a staph infection. The illustration is of a pair hands with grotesque, green spores growing on them. Problems with cannibalistic orderlies, nurses who use IV bottles as ashtrays , and staff who steal drugs are also hazards. Some treatment cards are not really treatments at all. One of these cards has a limp hand, the index finger extended with a pistol hanging from it via the trigger guard. The caption says “who left the pistol in the ward? Unfortunately your patient choses the easy way out.” That patient is removed completely from play, resulting in all their points lost.

Once a patient has reached 10 or more life points, he or she is moved to pre-op. But even there, they are not safe. If an opponent draws the “kidnap” card, it reads: “seeing an opportunity, you grab a [another player’s] pre-op patient and run into surgery! You weren’t seen, so you can do what you want.” Once the player feels his patient has sufficient life points, the patient can move into the operating suite and the player draws surgery cards that can throw a wrench in the procedure. One card says “the patient has been awake for the entire operation so far! You can thank the anesthesiologist for hoarding the ether.” Another says that a baboon’s arm is the only limb replacement available. Another proclaims that a staff member, “preparing for the faculty talent show,” jumps onto the patient’s chest and begins dancing. Once the patient reaches zero life points, they die on the table.

3 Who’s Your Daddy? (2001)

Not to be mistaken for the video game of the same name released by Evil Tortilla Games in 2016, this 2001 table-top game is reminiscent of the Maury Povich or Jerry Springer shows. Participants play both as a man and a woman in this game. As the woman, the player tries to have as many children with as many of the other player’s men as possible, and successfully sue those men for paternity payment or payments. As the man, the player denies paternity and does everything they can to avoid paying. The player who still has money wins the game.

Each player starts the game by creating the physical attributes of both their man and woman (hair color, eye color, etc.) in order to compare DNA attributes. Each player’s woman has a child, gives them a name and rolls a die to see what physical attributes the child has. They also roll the die to determine if the child has a “special trait” which is to say “special needs.” Those “special traits” of course elevates the amount of money the woman can ask the daddy. At the beginning of each round, the players collect paternity payments, then either get pregnant, give birth or accuse another player of paternity. The woman, when she accuses paternity, also demands compensation. There are no limits to what she can ask for (with the exception that she cannot give the child to the accused). Payment can be a lump sum or a payment with each round. The accused can accept the demanded payment, can make a counter-offer, or deny paternity. If paternity is denied, the accused can accuse another player’s male character of paternity or take a paternity test (the results determined by the roll of a die). The mother pays for the paternity test and if she loses, and she must wait until the next round to make another accusation.

2 Ghettopoly (2003)

Developed by David T. Chang in 2003, this parody game has so many obvious similarities to Monopoly, it was inevitable Hasbro would sue. Designed in a square, the properties have names like “Trailer Trash Court,” and “Cheap Tricks Ave.” (with an illustration of prostitutes showing off their wares). If a “playa” runs out of money, they don’t go bankrupt or to jail, but a loan shark puts them in the hospital. Instead of 4 railroads, there are 4 liquor stores. Instead of paying when a player lands on the “Taxes” spaces, they pay when they land on “Car Jacked” and “Police shake-down” spaces. In lieu of the Water and Electric Companies, there are crack house and pawn shop spaces where players pay a “protection fee.” In place of “Chance” and “Community Chest” cards, there are “Ghetto Stash” and “Hustle” cards. Instead of building houses and hotels, you build crack houses and projects.

There are some obvious racial and ethnic slurs. For instance, the massage parlor is owned by “Ling Ling,” the chop shop by Hernando, and the pawn shop by Weinstein. On one of the Ghetto Stash cards, it reads “you robbed a stupid Japanese tourist, collect $200” with an illustration of said victim saying “Are you lobbing me?” In response to the criticism, Chang said the game “draws on stereotypes not as a means to degrade, but as a medium to bring [people] together in laughter. If we can’t laugh at ourselves… we’ll continue to live in blame and bitterness.” The NAACP and a number black clergy were particularly outraged by properties such as “Martin Luthor King Jr. Boulevard” and “Malcum X Avenue” (deliberately misspelled) with caricatures of both men. “This is beyond making fun, to use the caricature of Dr. King in this regard,” responded Rev. Glenn Wilson, a Philadelphia Baptist minister. “There’s no way that game could be taken in any way other than that this man had racist intent in marketing it.”

A short time after its release, Urban Outfitters pulled the game from its shelves and Yahoo! and eBay halted on-line sales. In October 2003, Hasbro sued Chang for violating its trademarks and copyrights and caused “irreparable injury” to Hasbro’s reputation. Chang lost the case by default.

1 Capital Punishment (1981)

In 1980, friends Bob Johnson and Ron Pramschufer developed and published a controversial board game called Public Assistance. In the game, a working person is pitted against a welfare recipient, the former receiving a $150 monthly paycheck with tiny pay raises while the latter receiving $500 monthly benefits that increase with each child they have. They may “hit a sub shop” and collect $50, perform a sexual favor for a cop and collect $300, or loot stores during a snow storm and receive $2,000. Some 135,000 copies of the game flew off store shelves until the NAACP, the National Organization for Women, and state and city human resource departments stopped the sale of the game. When asked about the popularity of his game, Johnson said “The public is frustrated over the government spending and spending.” He added “People ask, ‘How did you invent the games?’ I say, ‘We didn’t. Government liberals did. We just put it in a box.’ “.

A year later, Johnson and Pramschufer published Capital Punishment, this time taking aim at the American legal system. Each player is given 4 criminals – a murderer, rapist, arsonist, and kidnapper – and the object of the game is to get all 4 either life imprisonment, placed on death row or executed. Each criminal can only be apprehended if they roll a 7, 11 or doubles. Each player also gets 2 liberals who start the game in their ivory tower and are sent to spring opposing criminals from the judicial system and those criminals have to start anew. Each player is also given 15 innocent civilians and when criminals are put back on the street, their civilians are also killed and sent to heaven. Any player who loses all their civilians automatically loses the game. If however a player wants to continue, they may sacrifice one or both their liberals changing them to civilians and ultimately to victims. Clearly the creators had an axe to grind which may explain why Capital Punishment, too, was allegedly banned.

Workplace accidents are a common occurrence. There are many dangerous jobs, which tend to have higher salaries to make up for the risk. Policemen, firefighters, bodyguards, and stuntmen are only a few examples of life-threatening professions.

However, purposely avoiding dangerous professions is far from a safety guarantee. Anyone can end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. And even the most risk-free jobs can occasionally lead to fatal workplace accidents.

SEE ALSO: 10 People Who Are Famous For Being Hilariously Terrible At Their Jobs

10 Janitor

In 2018, a man working for Bee-Clean Building Maintenance was found dead in Edmonton, Canada. Occupational Health and Safety (OHS) was notified that the 50-year-old janitor had died at the Workers Compensation Board of Alberta building.

OHS investigated the cause of death. Rob Scott, executive vice president of Bee-Clean Building Maintenance, stated “We are deeply saddened by what happened and our thoughts, prayers, and support are with the deceased worker’s family at this difficult time. We are working closely with the regulatory authorities to determine the cause of what appears at this time, to be a tragic accident.”^[1]

The investigation later revealed that the man died after getting hit by an overhead garage door. Edmonton police noted that the man’s death is considered non-criminal.

9 Tobacco Farmer

Farming is not an easy job, but it is a fairly safe one. As long as farmers are careful around tractors and watch out for snakes, other threats are few. Unfortunately, not every source of danger can be foreseen and accounted for.

In February 2019, Zimbabwe, three tobacco farmers did not expect to be in harm’s way. They were grading tobacco in a grass-thatched shed when lightning struck and killed the trio. Police quickly confirmed the deaths as a tragic accident.

A few minutes after the thunderstorm began, 44-year-old John Gede was working nearby when he saw the shed on fire. He screamed for help, but it was too late to save the farmers. The 22-year-old Jameson, 21-year-old Mungate, and 16-year-old Onward Gede had instantly burnt to death from the lightning.^[2]

8 Hotel Helper

On the third of January 2019, a boy in India had a fatal accident only two days after turning 13-years-old. He died six months after beginning work as a helper at a hotel. The boy was employed to wash utensils and do various housekeeping tasks.

While the government claims to be working on eradicating child labor, it is still common across India. The job seemed to be safe enough for a child, but the boy did not take proper care around a freight elevator used for moving food and other goods between hotel floors.

Staff members rushed to the kitchen area when they heard a loud crash. They found blood and remains sprayed across the walls. The boy’s body was stuck and his head had been crushed between the grill and the elevator. Police believe that the boy might have been looking down into the elevator shaft.

A federal inspection report was lodged against the hotel owner and manager for culpable homicide not amounting to murder, and sections 75 and 79 of the Juvenile Justice Act, for cruelty to a child and exploitation, respectively.^[3]

7 Actor

Good actors can make it seem like their life is on the line at all times. But except for Jackie Chan and a few other actors who do their own stunts, acting is a fairly risk-free job. Especially nowadays, when most of the dangerous scenes are created with special effects.

However, one dangerous tool is still commonly used in film production to this day—the prop gun. Producers who strive for realism prefer to use real firearms with blank ammo over replicas. While the idea seems flawless on paper, human error can quickly turn the prop into a deadly threat.

There have been a surprising number of deaths caused by prop guns throughout history but the most famous example might be the death of Bruce Lee’s son, Brandon Lee.

Brandon signed on to play a role in “The Crow”, where his character is a murdered rock musician who comes back from the dead to take revenge. Near the end of production, Lee was performing his death scene when a bullet fired from the prop gun pierced his abdomen and ended up near his spine.

Reportedly, because it was a routine scene, and the movie was nearly finished, Carolco Studios had preemptively decided that the services of their firearms consultant were no longer required. The regular stage crew handled the prop gun instead.

The firearms consultant later concluded that a portion of a dummy bullet from a previous scene had become dislodged from its casing and remained in the cylinder. The gun fired, and the actor fell to the ground. Nobody realized that Brandon was really injured until blood oozed from his right side.

Lee was taken to a hospital but the surgeons could not repair the damage. He died on March 31, 1993. An investigation determined that his death was an accident. After shooting additional scenes to complete the film, “The Crow” was released one year later.^[4]

6 Roller Coaster Operator

People often think roller coasters are dangerous. And they are absolutely correct. That is why roller coaster operators stay at a safe distance while handing out tickets, providing safety instructions, and starting and stopping the ride.

Additional duties, such as roller coaster maintenance, are typically taken care of before the attraction becomes operational. But Doug McKay, a co-owner of Paradise Amusements, climbed onto the platform of Super Loop 2 to lubricate a portion of the ride’s track while in use in 2003, Idaho.

A double-ended passenger cart—which rides on a single vertical loop like a roller coaster—struck McKay and carried him over nine meters (30 ft) into the air before dropping him. According to a medical examiner, the initial impact likely caused fatal head trauma on its own.

After falling, McKay struck on the ride several times before landing on a metal fence. Carnival workers and a number of children on the ride were traumatized. Many were spattered with blood. About 30 children who witnessed McKay’s death were rounded up and questioned by the police for an hour until the case was ruled as an accident.^[5]

5 Tennis Linesman

Tennis linesmen are paid to carefully watch tennis games and call out whether a ball has fallen inside or outside the lines of the court. Many people already sit in a chair and watch professionals play tennis for free, so this job may sound like a dream come true for fans of the sport. However, even this seemingly safe job has led to a fatal accident.

In 1983 at the United States Open, tennis linesman Dick Wertheim was hit in the groin with a tennis ball served by Stefan Edberg of Sweden. He fell from his folding chair and hit his head on the ground, which rendered him unconscious.

Wertheim was taken to a hospital and put on a respiratory system but never regained consciousness and passed away five days later. He became the first person ever killed by a tennis ball in a tennis match.

Wertheim’s family sued the United States Tennis Association (USTA) for $2.25 million, accusing them of negligence in providing adequate safety precautions. The complete investigation revealed that the tennis ball strike was not the real cause of Wertheim’s death but USTA was still found 25% responsible and asked to give $165,000 jury award.^[6]

4 Chef

While chefs might risk getting a cut or a burn, their lives are rarely at stake. But one chef in southern China was in more danger than he thought. Peng Fan was preparing a rare delicacy—a special dish made from the Indochinese spitting cobra. As he tried to discard the cobra’s head, which had been severed 20 minutes prior, the cobra bit his hand.

Indochinese spitting cobra victims asphyxiate after their respiratory system is paralyzed by the neurotoxic venom. The only thing that could save the chef’s life was the anti-venom available in a hospital. By the time medical assistance arrived, he was already dead.

According to snake expert Yang Hong-Chang, all reptiles can function for up to an hour after losing body parts or even their entire body. “It is perfectly possible that the head remained alive and bit Peng’s hand,” said the expert. “By the time a snake has lost its head, it’s effectively dead as basic body functions have ceased, but there is still some reflexive action.”

The snake was being made into a snake soup, which is highly sought after in high-end restaurants. And the snake’s skin is used to make expensive designer goods. The Chinese, who have been consuming snakes for centuries, believe that the more poisonous the delicacy, the more it benefits the body.^[7]

3 Shepherd

Although watching over sheep is not the only duty of a shepherd, it is the most commonly associated responsibility. Safety is rarely a concern because wild animals and humans are more interested in the sheep instead. And it is one of the few jobs where falling asleep is almost expected. After all, shepherds spend a lot of time counting sheep.

In 2001, shepherd Mokhtar Adam Fadl was taking a nap beside his flock in the desert near Sidi Barrani, northwest Egypt. It was just another ordinary day at work until it took an unexpected turn, landing Mokhtar a spot in the history books for one of the most unusual deaths ever recorded. He was shot by a sheep.

Mokhtar had fallen asleep without properly securing his rifle. One of the sheep kicked his gun, accidentally firing a shot that landed in the 20-year-old Bedouin’s chest. The police confiscated the unlicensed, locally made gun.^[8]

2 Lawyer

Clement Vallandigham was a former congressman, working as a lawyer on what he thought would be the greatest case of his life. He represented Thomas McGehean in what was believed to be a murder case in 1871, Ohio.

A man named Thomas Myers was playing cards in his room above a bar when five thugs burst in and a brawl broke out. As Myers got up, rushing to pull his pistol from his pocket, a muffled shot was heard. He pulled out the gun, fired a few shots and collapsed dead.

It was unclear what really happened in all the confusion but witnesses kept bringing up McGehean’s name—everyone knew there was bad blood between the two. So the judge and juries believed that McGehean was to blame for the murder.

Meanwhile, Vallandigham believed that Myers had actually shot himself by accident. He went out and conducted an experiment to establish the levels of residue left by a point-blank range shot. By the time Vallandigham was done, three live rounds remained in his pistol.

When the lawyer returned to his hotel room, he was handed a package with Myers’s gun for examination. He lay down both pistols side by side. As Vallandigham explained his theory to a visitor, he performed a demonstration.

The lawyer took a pistol which he believed to be empty and enacted the event as it may have happened. The pistol snagged on his clothing and unintentionally fired a bullet into his belly. Surgeons could not locate the projectile and Vallandigham died the next day.

The lawyer’s death served as proof for his theory and McGehean was acquitted. Reportedly, another man killed himself in the exact same way shortly after by trying to demonstrate how Vallandigham had died.^[9]

1 Gardener

In 2014, UK, Nathan Greenaway was rushed to a hospital. Despite frantic analysis of his blood, doctors could not figure out what was wrong with the 33-year-old. Nathan died five days later from multiple organ failure.

Before his death, Nathan worked as a gardener on the £4m estate of Christopher Ogilvie Thompson. The link between his job and his death was only found when Nathan’s father carried out hours of tireless research to find out what happened.

North Hampshire coroner Andrew Bradley concluded that the gardener most likely brushed up against a flower from the Aconitum genus. The genus contains more than 250 flower species, most of which are extremely poisonous.

Commonly known as aconite, Monkshood, Devil’s Hamlet, and Wolfsbane—Aconitum flowers can lead to poisoning through ingestion or handling without gloves. The poisoning causes dizziness, vomiting, and diarrhea. In severe cases, these symptoms are followed by palpitations, paralysis of the heart and airways, and death.

The attractive purple plant has claimed many human lives, including Canadian actor Andre Noble, who died after accidentally ingesting the plant in a camping trip in 2004. And Brit Lakhvir Singh dubbed the “Curry Killer”, poisoned her lover with a curry dish laced with Indian aconite in 2009.^[10]