Most people practice a religion, and most of us know our own religion quite well. We also think that we have a pretty good grasp of the general facts around us, even if they’re not entirely relevant. However, religion is one area where more likely than not, when it comes to religions not our own, we are just stuffed full of misconceptions. 

10. Catholic Priests Are More Likely To Be Pedophiles Than “Normal” People 

The Catholic Church sex abuse scandal is well known and caused a lot of damage to the church’s reputation. Many people, at least temporarily, lost faith in the church and were bothered not just by how many children were abused, but by how it was handled. Today jokes about Catholic priests being pedophiles are common – and it’s become a popular belief among many – that even if most Catholic priests wouldn’t do such a thing, they’re more likely to be a predator than your neighbor Doug, the accountant.

However, as they often say, it is not the crime, but the coverup. The real problem with the sex abuse scandal was the way it was covered up, and the way priests were shifted around so they could keep abusing. This doesn’t mean it is okay that the children were abused, or that the church wasn’t responsible go above just punishing the offenders with something more severe than a slap on the wrist, but the stats don’t lie. The evidence shows that Catholic priests are no more likely to be pedophiles than anyone else who ends up with a position of power over a child. 

9. Many Believe Hindus Worship Many Gods But It Is More Complicated 

Most people have heard of Hinduism, the majority religion of India, and thus have their impression of it. The most commonly held belief is that Hinduism is a polytheistic religion with many, many gods, almost more than anyone outside of a dedicated follower could ever keep track of. Because it’s not as dominant a religion in the Western World, people have little exposure to it in English-speaking countries and thus maintain this belief. 

However, this is a misconception based on a lack of understanding of how their religion works. Hinduism is not polytheistic, but henotheistic. Now, this distinction is so little known among many in the West that a lot of spell checkers will ask you if you meant monotheistic, but they are not the same thing. Monotheism means you simply believe in one God and polytheism is many gods, but henotheism is the belief that there is one divine being, but still other gods that can be worshiped. It’s complicated, as it’s a very ancient religion with many branches, but the divine one God is present in all beings, even other gods, and Hindus believe there are many paths to reaching oneness with their God. 

8. There Is Still A Lot Of Confusion About Papal Infallibility

It used to be that a lot of people believed that Catholics were a bunch of sillies, because they let their pope say anything he wanted whenever he wanted, and these statements were considered infallible. Making fun of papal infallibility was always one of the favorite attacks on Catholics by those not of their religion until the myth-busting days of the internet started to clear things up. However, that doesn’t mean the misconception has been entirely cleared up. 

Most people are now aware that the Catholic pope is only considered infallible when making very special statements on matters of faith and morals. However, it’s still more complicated than that. These statements are rarely ever made and most popes go their entire careers without doing so. Furthermore, the process is more complex than the pope carefully considering an issue, praying to God, and then making a decision. Such things are actually presented before the entire body of cardinals in the Vatican and are thoroughly debated and voted on before anything is actually done. 

7. Aztecs May Have Been Way More Cannibalistic Than You Imagined 

The Aztecs are one of the most fascinating, and also the most horrifying of all of the ancient cultures. The facts that we can be sure of are that to worship their gods, especially Quetzalcoatl, the serpent god, they sacrificed countless human beings. They did so in a very public and purposefully bloody manner that even the most vicious cultures today could probably hardly even imagine. What many people have assumed, however, is that apart from a little ritual heart-eating, they didn’t eat the bodies. 

Now, perhaps most kids were not taught about this in history class because it’s just a bit disturbing for children, but there’s more than enough evidence that the Aztecs were practicing quite a bit more ritual cannibalism than just eating the victims’ hearts. There is historical evidence that they were cooking body parts in pots and that noblemen probably got the spoils the most. The more interesting question here is why. Some historians believe that a big reason for them doing this was to commune with their gods and this is supported by the fact they did not just eat people during famine. On the other hand, some argue that even on non-famine days, they ate people for protein. 

6. Puritans Were Not As Puritanical As You May Think 

Puritans are now a group from history that’s so well known for being straight-laced and morally strict that the term “puritanical” was based on their behavior. The expression is generally used to define someone who is excessively prudish about sex, who thinks anything outside of pleasureless missionary for making a baby is a sin. 

However, the funny thing is that Puritans were not nearly as puritanical as many people think they were. Firstly, they believed that sex between a husband and wife was more than just a means of procreation, but a way to develop a stronger bond of love between the couple. They believed that all things God created are good, so sex was good too, under the right circumstances. There is also reason to believe they had a decent bit of premarital sex and were freer with sex than people may have been led to believe from their public front. Historical records show as many as a third of Puritan women in Colonial New England were already pregnant when they got married. 

5. Islamic Women Are Forced To Wear  A Hijab By Their Cruel Husbands 

Islam is one of the largest religions in the world, which is interesting considering that among those who don’t practice it, it is also probably one of the most misunderstood. One of the most commonly held beliefs about Islam is that women are forced to cover themselves, especially their heads, with something called a hijab. In some countries, there have been major controversies as the country or state tried to ban them, claiming them to be a symbol of religious oppression of women. 

However, this is a misunderstanding of how the Islamic religion and associated cultures work. While some Islamic-majority countries make women cover their heads, the majority of them do not. Also, while the exact numbers vary from country to country, surveys have shown that while most people in Islamic countries think women should cover their heads, they also believe it should be up to the woman. Furthermore, there is little evidence the men are forcing them to wear them, as it is the women who protest and claim their rights are being oppressed to practice their religion when localities try to ban them freely.

4. Only Catholic Texts Blame The Jews For The Death Of Jesus

One of the most enduring myths about Judaism is that the Jewish people today are somehow responsible for the death of Jesus Christ. This form of Christian anti-semitism has been going on since the days of early Christianity, and it has caused a lot of strife between those of the Jewish faith and Christianity ever since. It is an accusation that probably every Jewish person has heard at least once in their life, from some ignorant bully of the Christian faith. 

However, the interesting thing is that it’s not only Catholic sources that suggest the Jewish authorities were responsible for the death of Jesus. While only one version of the Catholic testament has the Sanhedrin saying “Let his blood be on us and on our children” (the most controversial part), the Talmud does give a Jewish council responsibility for his death. Some Jewish sources suggest that a Jewish council put him to death without the help of the Romans at all, and did so based on him being seditious and practicing sorcery. However, the Catholic Church, to begin healing old wounds, has declared that no Jewish people today, or any at the time apart from those directly involved, can be held responsible. 

3. Wicca Is Not As Ancient As Many Believe

Many people today, once they’re sure you will not freak out at them over it, will explain that they follow the ancient religion of Wica. They will tell you that this religion is a revival of an old pagan faith and that it goes back to the ancient days of humanity, before Christianity. This likely makes them feel like it is a more legitimate religion, as things that have withstood the test of time tend to get more respect in general, but this is a misconception of ancient pagan religions and Wicca. 

We’re not here to tell you that your religion is wrong, or right. Nor are we here to suggest that just because a religion is newer it deserves less respect than other religions. Every religion had to start somewhere, and most can trace their start back to a specific era. However, facts are facts, and Wicca is not ancient at all. While it has been pulled together from many ancient pagan traditions, it is not itself a revival of any specific tradition, but an amalgam. It was developed over a couple of decades by Gerald Gardner during the first part of the 20th century and its creation can very clearly be traced as taken from many different sources, and not from one revived religion. 

2. You Can Be A Scientologist Without Being Part of The Church 

Scientology is known for being one of the most controversial religions in the entire world, and likely won’t move from that status anytime soon. In some countries, like France, it has even been labeled as a cult, and convicted of fraud. Among their most controversial practices was something called Fair Game, where a suppressive person who tried to stop someone from being a Scientologist, could be dealt with in any way necessary. This practice has been officially disavowed, although some who have left the church claim that it is still done, and the disavowal is only for legal reasons. 

However, if you are interested in the religion of Scientology, but you are wary of the church, there is still an avenue for you. Like all religions, there are seditious offshoots, and Scientology has been around long enough that it is no exception. There is a group who still consider themselves Scientologists, but have left the official church, and work to make sure those who want access to the religion’s tools have them without the requirements of the official church. 

1. The Kentucky Snake Church Is Not About Snake Worship Or Even Snake Taming 

Many have probably heard of the pseudo-legal church in Appalachian Kentucky that shows off the pastor, as well as select parishioners, dancing around like crazy while holding live, poisonous snakes. Some who haven’t looked further into the matter have guessed that this group somehow worships snakes, or perhaps is even trying to tame them to gain dominion over them. However, the truth is far more ridiculous even than that. 

The truth is that they believe that since serpents are evil in the bible, by tempting evil creatures that can poison them to death to bite them, they are showing to others, and themselves how in favor they are with God. They jump around holding the snakes, just begging the snakes to bite them. The idea is that if the snake doesn’t bite, or does a dry bite, they are in favor with God. However, when the original pastor died from a snake bite at church, his family justified that it was just his time, and not because he was a sinner by their own rules. While this does give them an out, the son of the original pastor did get badly shaken up after he was badly bitten as well and almost died.

Freedom of religion tends to be taken for granted in the West, despite being illusory in practice. Every government in the world intrudes on religion and, contrary to what you might expect, it’s at least as bad today as it has been in the past. It’s just more bureaucratic.

Ranked by how widely they’re banned, here are the world’s top 10 illegal religions…

10. Obeah and Myal

Sometimes religions are only banned on paper. In Jamaica, although officially illegal, Obeah and Myal (forms of Afro-Creole witchcraft) are legally tolerated. The ban originated in the British colonial period for one pathetic reason: the practice frightened the whites, probably because it gave their slaves hope. From 1760, the year of the Tacky Rebellion (a slave uprising), Obeah and Myal were punishable by death. The law was further formalized under the Obeah Act in 1854 and for the next century Jamaicans (many hostile to Obeah) were routinely prosecuted for “rituals”. 

Other colonies followed suit with laws of their own, but most have since repealed them. Only in Jamaica, where blacks have tragically internalized colonial racism, does the Obeah Act remain in place. In June 2019, when Jamaica’s Minister of Justice suggested repeal, the public were outraged. Insisting Obeah was “evil”, they forced the government to keep the racist — and purely nominal — law in place. 

9. The Ukrainian Orthodox Church

The Ukrainian Orthodox Church is seen as such a threat in Ukraine that it’s subject to evictions and raids. The reason is the church’s historical ties to Moscow, which Zelenskiy’s government thinks could weaken Ukraine from within — despite only 4% of Ukrainians being members.

A spokesperson for the church disputes the government’s right to suppress them, pointing out the church’s historical adherence to Ukrainian law. Even the Pope has criticized the crackdown, and the head of the Ukrainian Catholic Church has also urged the government to back off. “We were once banned as well,” he said, “and we survived underground.” As he put it, “banning a church doesn’t mean ending its existence.” It just creates hostility.

8. Falun Gong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7Nz2rDKoZ8

Falun Gong (“law wheel practice”) is a qigong-inspired meditation-based religion emphasizing “the virtues of truth, benevolence, and forbearance.” Founded by a trumpet player in 1992, it had by the end of the decade attracted more than 70 million followers, becoming the second largest faith in the country after Buddhism. It also far exceeded the Chinese Communist Party’s membership of 63 million; hence it was banned as an “evil cult.” 

There’s nothing unusual about this; all but five religions in China (Buddhism, Daoism, Islam, Catholicism, and Protestantism) are officially labeled “evil cults” or “superstitions.” But Falun Gong also became one of the “five poisons” — alongside Tibetans, Uighurs, democracy activists, and pro-independence Taiwan. It wasn’t just its numbers that threatened the CCP; its pacifist principles also go against the government’s emphasis on “materialism, political struggle, and nationalism.” The movement had even gained traction among officials themselves, undermining the regime from within.

Nowadays, practitioners of Falun Gong are routinely “disappeared” by the state, tortured, and executed. According to reports, the corpses of Falun Gong practitioners supply many of the vital organs used by China’s medical establishment.

7. The Shouters

Christianity has a long history in China, with its earliest introduction dated to 635 CE. A little over two centuries later, its almost-as-long history of suppression in China began. Today, some Christian groups are grudgingly tolerated — but only if they adhere to the Three-Self Patriotic Movement (TPSM). This propagandist affiliation, which tends to politicize sermons, was founded in the 1950s to suppress pastors and priests critical of the CCP.

The so-called “Shouters Sect” is one that definitely does not comply. In 1983, it became the first group to be designated “counterrevolutionary.” Then in 1995, it became the first group to be designated an “evil cult.” In practice, however, “Shouters” is a catch-all for undesirable Christians in general. The original “Shouters,” or “Callers” as they knew themselves, fot the pejorative nickname for loudly “calling on the name of Lord Jesus” during sermons. It was only after the 1982 demonstration against the TSPM that the CCP-compliant Christian community scapegoated them.

Raids and arrests are now common, and “Shouters” have received harsh sentences including life imprisonment and death. 

6. Ahmadiyya

Originating in British-occupied India during the 19th century, Ahmadiyya is a heretical Muslim sect — at least according to orthodoxy. Unlike most Muslims, they don’t believe Muhammad was the last of the prophets. In fact, Ahmadiyya is named for the much more recent, Punjab-born prophet Mirza Ghulam Ahmad (1835-1908). Outlandishly he stated the obvious: Muslim society and religion had deteriorated and were now in need of reform.

Followers have since become “one of the most relentlessly persecuted communities”, with Pakistan’s first prime minister bowing to pressure from clerics and declaring Ahmadis non-Muslims. Even today, their non-Muslim status excludes them from the most basic of citizens’ rights, such as voting and obtaining a passport. And of course without a passport they’re unable to travel to Mecca. Pakistan has arrested and charged numerous Ahmadis with “blasphemy”. Malaysian authorities also call Ahmadis non-Muslim — “apostates”, in fact. Algeria, meanwhile, has been persecuting Ahmadiyya since 2016, when police raided and destroyed a newly built mosque and imprisoned the national leader.

Ironically, Ahmadiyya — like so many other religions on this list — stresses non-violence and tolerance above all.

5. Witchcraft

Although more of a catch-all for different traditions, witchcraft is often treated as religion. For example, in Cameroon, Tanzania, and the Central African Republic, it’s banned alongside other “folk or indigenous religions”. In the Gambia between 2008 and 2009, President Yahya Jammeh had up to 1,000 elderly citizens arrested and tortured on spurious witchcraft charges. In  2019, eSwatini (formerly Swaziland) cited its own (or rather its white colonial masters’) 1889 Witchcraft Act as justification for forbidding a planned witchcraft competition. In Papua New Guinea, people who use the services of witches face up to 10 years in prison and fines up to 10,000 PGK. 

In Saudi Arabia, the police force has an Anti-Witchcraft Unit tasked with hunting down astrologers, fortune tellers, sorcerers, and so on. Since there’s no legal definition of witchcraft, judges can interpret the kingdom’s religious Sharia law however they like to impose unfair punishments on the accused. An Egyptian pharmacist, for instance, was beheaded for (according to his neighbors) casting spells to break up a couple and placing Korans in the bathrooms of mosques. Often people are entrapped by the state, such as when undercover police — apparently with nothing better to do — paid a man to cast a spell. Cases also relied on confessions extracted by torture.

Meanwhile in Romania, practicing witchcraft professionally is only legal with a permit obliging witches to pay taxes on their income.

4. Christianity

Even Christianity, with its long track record of suppressing other faiths, is illegal in numerous countries. In Somalia and Comoros, it’s against the law to publicly admit to being Christian and anyone who does may be subject to harassment or death. In Mauritania, it’s even dangerous for foreign nationals to express their Christian faith. In Eritrea, only some denominations are legal.

In the Maldives, politicians win votes by keeping everyone Muslim — which they manage to do by imprisoning everyone else. Christianity is also illegal in Saudi Arabia, where Islam is all that’s permitted. Under regimes like this, as well as Iran and North Korea, Bibles are delivered by a clandestine network of underground Christian renegades.

3. Baha’i

Despite (or, let’s face it, because of) its message of peace, equality, and human unity, Baha’i is heavily restricted in its country of origin Iran. Followers are barred from higher education, national pensions, and certain jobs — for example in government, law, and, perhaps most cruelly of all, food production because they’re considered unclean. Baha’i-owned businesses are also subject to heavy restrictions or forced to shut down. A fatwa issued by the Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei instructs citizens to avoid dealing with them entirely.

They’re also subject to unlawful arrests, arbitrary detention, and, from their fellow Iranians, brutal discrimination. Literally adding insult to injury, Baha’is are even denied the usual Iranian right of diyeh (“blood money”) restitution for the murder or harm of their relatives.

Elsewhere, life can be just as harsh if not harsher. In Brunei, the “deviant” religion is banned outright, while in Egypt, followers are denied bank accounts, property, and even their own churches and religious literature. Also, couples married in the faith aren’t recognized by the Egyptian state, which means they have no access to basic spousal rights like inheritance, divorce, and residency. On national identity cards, Baha’is are designated simply with a dash — unlike Muslims, Christians, and Jews, all of whom are recognized by the state.

2. Jehovah’s Witnesses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMmFBxsOD8E

At first glance, it’s puzzling why so many governments, in very different nations, are against Jehovah’s Witnesses — especially given their avowed lack of interest in politics. But China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, North Korea, Singapore, Vietnam, Morocco, the Maldives, Qatar, Uzbekistan, Comoros, and many more all ban Jehovah’s Witnesses activities. The reason is simple: for despotic regimes, Jehovah’s Witnesses’ political neutrality is a threat to national security. Never mind what Jehovah’s Witnesses themselves say in protest, or how law-abiding they are in practice; they won’t pledge allegiance to a state — not over God anyway. This is why they were banned by the Nazis.

Russia is particularly notable for stepping up its persecution of Jehovah’s Witnesses since the Supreme Court banned the religion, calling it an “extremist organization” in 2017. 2019 saw almost 500 raids on Jehovah’s Witnesses’ homes, with Bibles, computers, phones, and other items being seized. 

Often these raids are early in the morning. Calling to mind Soviet-era purges, van loads of police officers (up to 20 personnel) will descend on a residence, pound on the door, and handcuff the owners. Forced to stand facing the wall for hours, the state’s bleary-eyed victims will even be denied use of their own toilets while the armed thugs carry out their search. Alternatively, law enforcement spies have been known to quietly infiltrate Jehovah’s Witnesses’ homes under the pretext of repairing their internet, only to download files from computers.

1. Psychedelic sacramental religions

So important was the freedom of religion to the Founding Fathers that its protection was enshrined in the very First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law … prohibiting the free exercise [of religion].” In practice, however, many religious practices remain illegal — from smoking weed to polygamous marriage. 

Notably, the First Amendment unofficially exempts the first Americans, the Native Americans. Because it wasn’t until 1978 that Congress passed the American Indian Religious Freedom Act (AIFRA), aimed at correcting generations of suppression of indigenous religion. However, the sacramental use of peyote — crucial to many but federally banned — remains contentious even today. Although the AIFRA was amended to allow for such use by the Native American Church, only members of federally recognized tribes are in practice granted the concession. Citizens with Native American ancestry but no registered tribal membership are still not technically permitted.

Ayahuasca churches, such as Santo Daime and UDV, have similar problems — right around the world, thanks to America’s War on Drugs. A recent attempt in the Netherlands to legalize ayahuasca for religious use was denied, leaving followers of the religion to organize illicitly — even in “enlightened” Western Europe — for fear of arrest and imprisonment.

Between broken nuclear proliferation agreements, warring global superpowers, and impending ecological collapse, the end of the world seems nigher than ever. At such times, humanity turns to religion. But which one to choose?

Beyond the big five, there are some religions most have never heard of let alone explored. So here’s a quick run-down of what they have to say when it comes to the end of the world — in order of how much we hope they got it wrong.

10. The Invisible Village of Ancestors (Dinka, Akan, and others)

African ancestral religions tend to lack a concept of apocalypse. But they’re still worth a mention for the alternative view they present. Instead of a slow but sure fall from grace toward a punishing and catastrophic end, they see only a “timeless infinity” in which humanity continues forever. The rain season and planting are followed by harvesting and the dry season followed by the rain season and planting and so on. Just like the waxing and waning of the moon, time is an endless rhythm. 

Humans die, of course, but not completely. After death, the “righteous dead” join the “invisible world” of the “village of ancestors”. Righteousness is judged on respect for ancestral traditions and remembering the dead — in other words, continuity.

But this isn’t a future golden age as spoken of by apocalyptic religions. If anything, for African ancestral religions, the golden age lies in the past. After all, each year that passes only adds to the past so if eternity is anywhere, it’s there.

9. Oblivion (Yarsanism)

The Kurdish religion Yarsanism is a branch of the Cult of Angels. It doesn’t have a holy book. Instead, its teachings — and prophecies — are orally transmitted down the ages. Like other branches of the Cult of Angels, Yarsanism holds that souls transmigrate through various reincarnations. Starting out in inanimate objects and progressing through plants and non-human animals, the goal of this journey is purification culminating in a human body worthy of union with the Universal Spirit. Allowing for sins and regressive transmigrations, this process (known as dun ba dun, “oblivion to oblivion”) can take up to 1,000 lives or 50,000 years.

If after its 1,001st transmigration a soul remains non-human, it must await the Final Judgment or Pardivari, “the bridge crossing.”

Thus, unlike most other traditions on this list, the individual determines, by their conduct, the date of their personal apocalypse.

8. The End of the Era of Beasts (Daesoonjinrihoe)

Central to the Korean religion Daesoonjinrihoe (the Fellowship of Daesoon Truth) is a belief in two main eras of humanity: the Former World, seoncheon, which is full of transgressions, and the Later World, hucheon, which is full of goodness. The Former World, in which we live, is subdivided into “Six Stages of Waning Proximity from the Dao” that is, six eras of increasing corruption and chaos. These are the eras of: Divine Thearchs; Sagely Emperors; Heavenly-mandated Kings; Cunning Tyrants; Uncivilized Rulers; and, finally, Beasts. 

We currently live in the last of these, the Era of Beasts, a time of maximum misalignment with the Dao. But this also means the Later World is imminent. Not everyone will get there, but those who do will live forever in eternal youth and abundance. When they open a chest, there will always be clothing and food. There will be no war, no jealousy, only peace for this “noble populace”. 

There will nevertheless be rulers. But these rulers — 12,960 “noble individuals empowered by the Dao” — will be duty-bound to benevolence. Indeed, they only get to be rulers in the first place as a reward for their goodness. They are the highest of Daesoonjinrihoe devotees (of which there are more than two million), and may even come from outside the faith given sufficient cultivation of spirit.

7. The Dawning of the New Age (The Aetherius Society)

Founded in 1955 by London cab driver Dr. George King, the Aetherius Society believes extraterrestrials have long been guiding mankind — in the forms of Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, and others. But the central extraterrestrial is the Master Aetherius, who spoke through the Society’s founder. According to this being, the New Age is “being born this moment”; it’s up to us whether it’s pleasant or “a little unpleasant.” But either way, “the wheat will be sorted from the chaff.”

The apocalypse preceding the dawning of the New Age will involve various catastrophic changes, including an increase in natural disasters (check), a gradual decrease in the ionosphere (check), and a consequent increase in cosmic rays and UV radiation reaching the surface of our planet (check). In our current form, says the Aetherius Society, we are not spiritually evolved enough to benefit; these changes will kill us instead. But the next Master is on his way, and the Earth herself is set to alter her position in space. We are, according to the teachings of the Master Aetherius, at the dawning of the Age of Aquarius — a new golden era for humanity.

This vision of the end times differs considerably from that of Raëlism, another extraterrestrial religion. According to their prophet Raël, the development of nuclear weapons was the “sixth seal of the Apocalypse” and their use in nuclear war will be the seventh. At this point, our extraterrestrial creators the Elohim (Hebrew for “gods”) will not intervene. But they will clone, on the Planet of the Eternals, all humans fortunate enough to have had their “cellular plan” transmitted to Raël or one of his guides beforehand.

6. Ragnarok (Asatru)

Based on the ancient religion of the Norse, modern Asatru revives beliefs in the old Æsir gods — as well as their (and our) ultimate demise. Ragnarok literally means “Doom of the Gods” in Old Norse, but they’ll take the world of men, Midgard or “Middle Earth”, with them. In Norse mythology, the land of the gods, Asgard, is at the heart of Midgard. It’s also the site of the ash tree Yggdrasil, the death of which will mean the end of the world.

What we know of Ragnarok comes from two main sources, the 13th-century Prose Edda and the 10th-century poem Voluspa. First will come moral chaos, murder, and a harsh, cruel winter — the lightless Fimbulwinter — that will last three years. The wolf Skoll will swallow the sun and the wolf Hati will swallow the moon. The wolf Fenrir will be loosed from its bondage onto the world, as will Loki and the Midgard Wyrm. These and other giants, demons, and ghosts will attack Asgard from all directions and the gods will each fall as heroes. Their final moments are actually told in some detail: Thor will slay the Midgard Wyrm then stagger back nine paces and die from its venom; Loki and Heimdall will kill each other, as will Tyr and Garm, a hound from the underworld. And Odin will be swallowed by the wolf Fenrir. Freyr, armed only with a stag’s horn, will be killed by the giant Surtr who will then set about destroying the earth. Everything will be burned, including the “World-Tree” Yggdrasil. It’s not known when this will happen (although the Viking calendar is said to have set it for February 22, 2014).

However, new life will follow. The children of the gods (Odin’s sons Vidharr and Vali, Thor’s sons Modi and Magni, and others) will inherit Asgard. And from a new shoot of Yggdrasil, called “Treasure-Mimir’s Holt,” will emerge a woman named Lif (“Life”) and a man named Lifthrasir (“Stubborn Will to Live”). Together, they will repopulate the earth.

5. Apocalyptic War (Yezidism)

Another branch of the so-called Cult of Angels, an ancient belief system whose real name has been lost to history, Yezidism is a minority religion in Iraq. They worship the Peacock Angel, or Malak ????s, a fallen angel outsiders conflate with the Devil — hence Yezidis’ unfounded reputation as devil-worshipers. Besides two written scriptures, the Book of Revelation and the Black Book, Yezidism is an oral tradition, with teachings passed down and embellished by word of mouth. 

Prophecies are transmitted the same way, even though, confusingly, they come from what Yezidis call the “book” or defter. This “book” has no material existence. When seers enter a trance and receive their visions, they are said to be “falling into book” (defteré keftin). Often, the content of these visions pertains to the end of the world.

A recurrent theme is an impending apocalyptic war between the forces of good and evil, in which holy beings (xas) and supernatural entities (bastiné) will do battle. As of 2020, there were said to be 200 xas preparing for war in Iran, while Miryam (Mary) was in London creating the planes that would bring the angels. Some prophecies are highly specific, listing the countries involved, how long war will last, and how many people will die. “There will be a war in America. There will be a war in Holland, in Britain, in Lebanon … Twelve years this war will last. After twelve years, only six million will remain in Iraq.” 

But always the forces of good will prevail and life will be pleasant again — for the survivors and those yet to come. Another prophecy foretells the destruction of all life on Earth, followed by the arrival of the “golden-eyed ones” (holy beings), who will “make the world pleasant again.” Another talks of a “great deluge” in which “the earth will be like a sea” but after which “everything will be nice again.”

4. The Fourth Destruction (Mandaeism)

The Mandaean religion, founded in Persia in the first centuries CE, reveres above all the non-personified “god” ‘Great Life’, or fertility, whose symbol is ‘living water’. Shunning hierarchy, they see rulers (Archons) as obstacles to spiritual progress. Hence, while they consider John the Baptist one of their own, they don’t see him as a prophet or leader but one of many adepts in healing magic, a Nasurai. Jesus was a Nasurai too, they say, but one who led men astray, since, among other things, his Byzantine followers used still (i.e. dead) water for baptism and forced monks and nuns into celibacy.

Unfortunately, we don’t know a great deal about Mandaean cosmology. Their Haran Gauaita is thought to have contained the Mandaeans’ entire world history, from creation to apocalypse, but only fragments survive. Nevertheless, what we do know from this and other texts is fascinating. According to the Mandaeans, the future of humanity ends with chaos among Arabs, the reign of the false Messiah, the return of Anush Uthra (an angel from the world of light), and “a final debacle before the end of the world under the domination of Amatit, daughter of Qin.”

All this will take place 480,000 years after Adam. But it won’t be the first such apocalypse, it’ll be the fourth. Adam and Eve’s race was destroyed by “sword and plague” 216,000 years after their creation. Then came the age of Ram and Rud, survivors of the previous destruction, whose race lasted 156,000 years. After the second destruction, survivors Shurbai and Sharhabi’il sired a new race of humans, only for it to be wiped out 100,000 years later by flood. From survivors Nuh and Nhuraitha came our own race, allotted just 8,000 years by the prophecy. Specifically, our destruction is set for the 791st year of the sign of the fish, Nuna, and while it’s not clear when that is, it’ll come by wind or air.

3. The End of White Yang (Yiguandao)

Once seen as a threat by the Chinese Communist Party, Yiguandao spread to Taiwan in the 1980s and, after decades of suppression there too, was eventually legalized. Since then, the religion — a mix of Daoist and Buddhist ideas — is even welcome back on the mainland. 

Yiguandao cosmology basically consists of ‘Three Yang Eras’ (or ‘Three Sun Eras’), each presided over by a Buddha.  The first, the ‘Era of Blue Yang’, lasted 1,886 years from 3086-1200 BCE under the watch of Dipamkara Buddha. Then came the 3,114-year ‘Era of Red Yang’ (1200 BCE – 1912 CE) under Sakyamuni Buddha. Our own age, the ‘Era of White Yang’, is set to last 10,800 years under Maitreya Buddha. 

So, according to Yiguandao, we have until the 127th century (the year 12712 CE) before the end of Man. This will complete the ninth “mega-month” of the 129,000-year “mega-year” allotted to the universe by Supreme Goddess Wuji Laomu. The Earth itself will be around longer, beginning to deteriorate in the tenth “mega-month” until finally vanishing without a trace, along with Heaven, in the twelfth.

2. Return to Ilyuwn (Nuwaubian Nation of Moors)

The Nuwaubian Nation of Moors originated in the 1970s and 80s as the Ansaaru Allah Community, a black separatist group based in Brooklyn. Founded by Dr. Malachi (aka Dwight York), it rebranded with its Afro-futurist, extraterrestrial overtones in the 1990s. According to Nuwaubian scripture (all written by Malachi), black people are superior to whites. Whereas whites evolved from apes, blacks were created by aliens. Furthermore, not only were the ancient Egyptians black; Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, and every other prophet were “dark skinned” and “wooly haired”. 

In 1993, Malachi shifted the center of his religion to a purpose-built compound in Georgia. Known as Tama-Re, it featured replicas of the Egyptian pyramids, Sphinx, and other monuments and temples. Here the Nuwaubians claimed sovereignty as a nation and started stockpiling guns. 

They were preparing for the end times. The Nuwaubians’ extraterrestrial creators were on their way back to “pick up their children” and annihilate every Caucasian. The aliens would then take the Nuwaubians — all 144,000 of them if the 2,000 or so devotees would hurry up and have more children — back to their home galaxy Ilyuwn, where Dr. Malachi’s planet Rizq can be found.

1. Project Lucifer (The Pana-Wave Laboratory)

The Pana-Wave Laboratory, a Japanese religion known for wearing white clothes and driving a convoy of white vans to deflect radiation, has put out numerous prophecies for the end-times. Believing that Earth began 365 million years ago on a star named Veh-erde, they claim extraterrestrials have guided us ever since — in particular through their founder Yuko Chino. According to her, not only were “communist guerrillas” slowly assassinating her with a bombardment of gamma rays, microwaves, x-rays, and other radiation, there was also an apocalypse looming. On May 15, 2003, an undiscovered tenth planet would pass close to Earth and reverse its poles, leading to earthquakes and tsunamis that would wipe out most of humanity. Hoping to ride it out, she and her convoy traveled around Japan looking for somewhere to wait. When May 15 passed uneventfully, a spokesman rescheduled the apocalypse for the following week, May 22, 2003. Again, they were wrong.

But they didn’t stop there. In July 2004, they announced that cracks were forming on Japan’s sea floors and that “at this rate Japan will sink to the bottom of the seas” by spring 2005. The Laboratory’s new plan was to build a spacecraft to leave the planet. Unfortunately, however, they were unable to obtain the steel-titanium alloy they needed. But that didn’t matter, because by spring 2005 an alternative scheme had been hatched. Project Circle P, in which the P stood for “pick-up”, assured Chino’s followers that a fleet of UFOs would rescue them from coming disasters.

The most concerning of these, for them, was codenamed Project Lucifer. According to a memorandum from Chino, the US government was planning to “transform Jupiter into a new sun” by firing a probe full of plutonium at it. As a result, Mars would be pulverized, becoming an asteroid belt, and Jupiter’s now unmediated gravity would pull Earth right through it, killing 99 percent of humanity. Although it hasn’t happened yet, Chino’s death in 2006 has deprived us of any further updates.

Religious conflict is often viewed as a major source of violent deaths in human history. The 2012 book Encyclopedia of Wars by Charles Phillips and Alex Axelrod lists 123 conflicts that were, ostensibly, primarily religiously-motivated, from the Crusades to the Taiping Rebellion. Considering that the Taiping Rebellion in particular took over 13 million lives, the intensity and the human cost of these wars can leave the impression that religious differences will very likely fill people with an animalistic rage that will compel them to tear fellow people apart. 

In truth, religious wars account for less than 10% of all organized conflict, because many times neighboring religious communities not only live in peace, they also exchange ideas and beliefs. The very fabric of their religions can be influenced by these interchanges, altering the way millions of people view the world for millennia after. 

10. Christianity Overlap with Hinduism 

For those unfamiliar with Hinduism, the Vedas are transcripts from before 1500 BCE of the earliest religious leaders after they performed deep meditation. They range from outlining the protocol for rituals, to stories of mythical figures. Those mythical figures include Lord Rama, a supposed manifestation of the Hindu god Vishnu, and according to a significant number of interpretations, Jesus Christ. Yes, there is a widely held belief in Hinduism that the carpenter from Galilee is the eighth manifestation of Vishnu as a human. He is known by some as Krishna; by others, according to the BBC, as Ishu. 

There are many historians that claim this did not occur organically. For example, Sanskrit Magazine cites historians that postulate that the relevant mantras are forgeries that were put in the Vedas by British colonizers in an attempt to convert the population of India from Hinduism to Christianity. It should be considered that the origins of the ancient Vedas are themselves so murky that there are many who believe they came from Aryans in Central Asia instead of India. So, who is to say which portions of the scripture were added to advance which group’s agenda? 

9. Greek Mythology Changes Roman

It’s commonly asserted that the gods of Ancient Rome are just the Greek gods with different names (Zeus became Jupiter, Hera became Juno, war god Ares became Mars, etc.). But the Romans weren’t merely cutting and pasting and then rebranding gods from across the Aegean Sea that the Greeks had brought to their Italian colonies. Before the Greek influence arrived, Roman beliefs were much less rigid and personified. It was a belief in spirits that imbued everything, which is much more similar to the kami concept in Shintoism than any popular religions that originated in the Middle East.

Romans largely distinguished themselves from their Greek counterparts in the social role that religion played. For example, the priesthood was a publicly accessible institution in Rome in a way that it was not in Greece. For another, religious rituals were prioritized over beliefs, which was why they clashed with the emergent Christians much more over the newer religion’s adherents being unwilling to perform the rituals than which God they worshiped or how many. They also had their institution of vestal virgins, which TopTenz previously covered in depth.  

8. Greek Mythology Changes Christianity

Considering that the first known copies of the New Testament were written in Greek, it was inevitable that the prevailing religious concepts of Greece would influence the teachings of Christ. This was especially the case as the early translations were into supposedly common, lower class Greek instead of more scholarly Greek. As it would later be when Martin Luther started the capital crime of translating the Bible from Latin in 1517, popular consumption was more important than academic purity. 

As reported by Arthur Fairbanks in A Handbook of Greek Religion in 1910, the elevation of the Virgin Mary was significantly influenced by the worship of virgin wisdom goddess Athena. The notion of having patron saints of specific groups is modeled on having gods of those same groups, such as Poseidon becoming the equivalent of St. Nicholas, patron saint of sailors. More significantly, the holiday Easter is, to a significant degree, modeled on Greek originals. 

7. Christianity Takes from Mithraism

For our last entry on Christianity, we’re going to highlight something a tad less familiar than Greek mythology. Mithraism is Roman-influenced worship of the Persian sun god Mithra. It fell out of fashion after Emperor Constantine adopted Christianity as the state religion for the Roman Empire. Yet despite being driven into obscurity by the religion from Israel, it still left its mark on the religion that supplanted it on the way out.  

For example, surviving records of the cult of Mithra record him as being referred to as “the redeemer” or “the way, the truth, the light” before such labels for Jesus Christ were popularized. According to the BBC, the notion of labeling a clerical leader a “father” was also present in Mithraism. While scholars have generally rejected the notion that Jesus Christ is just an imitation of Mithra, certain phrases and terms are heavily indicated to have carried over.   

6. Buddhism Changes Shintoism

Shintoism was mentioned earlier, but unlike pre-empire Roman mythology, Buddhism actually did shape the single most popular religion of Japan (which makes sense, since as of 2020 Buddhism is the second most popular religion of the island nation). Indeed, the influence of Buddhism on Shinto is surprisingly firmly established, to the extent that it has been recorded that Buddhism first arrived in Japan in 552 CE. In short order, Buddhist priests began to claim that the Kami spirits of Shintoism were manifestations of enlightened Buddhist adherents, undergoing constant cycles of death and rebirth. Over the centuries, the religions blurred to a point where Shinto shrines had statues of the Buddha and Buddhist priests maintained Shinto temples.

By the 12th Century CE, there were formal attempts to amalgamate the religions. By the 13th, a reactionary sect of Shinto called Watari Shinto attempted to purge the Buddhist elements. While it succeeded in maintaining Shintoism as separate, the Encyclopedia Britannica claims that by the 16th Century BCE, Watari Shintoism had codified into the most prevalent school of Shintoism that one could use to connect best with Kami through pursuing inner purity and enlightenment. That’s an extremely Buddhist notion that did not exist in any recorded versions of Shintoism before 552 CE. Even as Watari Shinto attempted to purge Buddhism, it codified its influence on the religion for centuries to come.    

5. Islam on Hinduism

Even as Buddhism spread its influence to the East, Islam was coming from the west to have its effect on Buddhism in its own birthplace. This was often not a comfortable process, as the first recorded interactions between the cultures include the 696 CE conquest of modern Uzbekistan and conversion of Buddhist monasteries into mosques. These invasions would continue into the 10th Century CE and beyond. Still, as we said in the intro, violence can often be an effective form of proselytization. 

A particularly famous way that Islam changed Buddhist lore was recorded in 851 CE. On a mountain in Sri Lanka, there was a legend that the Buddha had left a footprint. After Islam spread to the island, the myth was changed so that the footprint had actually been left there by Adam of the Torah/Bible/Koran, which was significant enough that the mountain was named “Adam’s Peak.” Most belief systems don’t leave such literal footprints.

4. Hindu/Muslim Dargahs

On a regional basis, Islam and Hinduism are two extremely contentious religions. Muslim invasions of India in particular have been leading to the destruction or conversion of Hindu temples into mosques since practically the 7th Century CE. On the hand, the regime of Prime Minister Narendra Modi has, since 2014, aggressively encouraged persecution of Muslims to an extent that has included mass-lynchings. On a more personal level, though, peaceful coexistence has reached a level where it’s practically required by religious practice. 

There are hundreds of sites throughout India where Hindus and Muslims perform their respective prayers literally just out of arms’ reach from each other. These shared places of worship are known as Dargah, which roughly translates to “doorway” according to Encyclopedia Britannica. As reported by India Today in 2017, the widespread use of Dargah throughout India is commonly used on social media to contend against the notion that Indian society is so bifurcated that amiable coexistence between the groups is impossible. 

3. Hinduism to Buddhism

As seen in the first entry of this list, some sects of Hinduism have been willing to incorporate figures from other religions for one reason or another. This was also done to a much more familiar religion early in both of their histories. For as popular as Buddha, or Prince Siddharta Gautama, was among Hindu groups in the centuries after his death, overwhelmingly they were not about to convert to Buddhism. Even Ashoka the Great, the conqueror of modern India and the highest profile patron of Buddhism through his construction of many monasteries and pillars to the belief system, remained officially a follower of Hinduism. 

One particular sect took this in the most practical direction. Vaishnavism contends that the Buddha was another incarnation of the god Vishnu on Earth. Unlike the murky story behind how Jesus Christ came to be labeled an avatar of Vishnu, Hindus and Buddhists have a solid grasp on who originated this notion: 12th Century poet Jayadeva. He claimed that Vishnu became Buddha largely in an effort to put a stop to the practice of animal sacrifice common among Hindu communities in Buddha’s time, which to be fair was consistent with the Buddha’s own words on the matter. Confusingly, while Christ was listed as the eighth avatar of Vishnu, Buddha was the ninth, despite living centuries earlier.  

2. Muslim Sicily

In 827 CE, Islamic forces began an occupation of Sicily which ended in the conquest of the island by 902. Though the last of them were driven from the island in the 11th Century, their mark lasted in one vastly more enduring way. The force that drove the Islamic forces out of Sicily was another seafaring empire, the Normans. As much as the Norman Christians disapproved of Islam, they were much more approving of the architecture of their mosques. 

Islamic architectural touches that Normans pilfered included the use of tile mosaics for decoration of chapels. And, more significantly, the also “borrowed” arches, buttresses, and even decorative facades. Another trend was to move all the really flashy decorative touches from the outside of the buildings to the interiors to help immerse believers in the sense of awe that were meant to impart. This wasn’t to say that Islamic architecture was all about being flashy and throwing gold around; to a significant extent, the more elaborate architecture was meant to instill a sense of awe despite using less expensive construction materials. Buildings such as the Palatine Cathedral in Palermo, Sicily in particular are rife with Islamic touches despite being the work of Norman architects. 

1. Moors Bring Greek Philosophy

As much cultural influence was left behind by Muslim occupiers in Italy, Spain was left with far more. It stands to reason, as historians claim that they controlled between a half and a third of the Iberian Peninsula for about 535 years starting in 711 CE. It was far from utopia, with many Muslim leaders had a number of intolerant practices against the Christians that they had colonized such as raiding their churches and restricting public displays of Christianity. Still the timing of the Islamic conquests roughly coincided with a philosophical revolution in the Muslim world that they brought with them to Europe. 

In the 9th and 10th Centuries CE, the previously controversial or dismissed teachings of Greek philosophers Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, etc. received major endorsements from venerated intellectuals of the time al-Kindi and al-Razi for reinvigorating analysis of spirituality and logic. When the teachings of the Greek masters reached generations of Spanish theologians that would go on to form the schools of metaphysics throughout the Catholic Church, it was initially through Arabic translations. 

Dustin Koski wrote the fantasy novel A Tale of Magic Gone Wrong, and any religion that would like to be influenced by it is welcome to do so.

The most recent addition to the big world religions (more than 25 million followers) was Sikhism 500 years ago. But, social media notwithstanding, it takes time to get so many followers — and the age of the prophets never really ended. The 19th century saw a flurry of smaller new religions, including Jehovah’s Witnesses and Baha’i. And the 20th gave us Scientology.

Even today we’re inventing new religions that, in centuries’ time, may outsize Christianity or Islam. They’re all a bit silly, but what religion isn’t? What matters is that people take them seriously — and these 10 they certainly do.

10. Matrixism

A religion based on the movie, Matrixism arose four years after The Matrix — in 2003, the same year its sequels came out. While adherents, known as Redpills or Pathists, don’t believe we’re literally inside a simulation, they do take other cues from the movies. These include a belief in the prophecy of The One (due to return some time before 2199), and the recognition that reality is subjective. 

It’s not a dogmatic religion, though; it’s more of a spiritual path. The freedom of the individual is paramount. For example, Pathists value psychedelics as tools for exploration and, while there is a recommended reading list (including the scriptures of world religions and Huxley’s The Doors of Perception), individuals are free to interpret.

Two days are holy in Matrixism: April 19 (“Bicycle Day” or the day LSD discoverer Albert Hoffman first tried the psychedelic himself) and November 22 (the date Aldous Huxley, C.S. Lewis, and JFK all died in 1963). The symbol for Matrixism as a religion is the Japanese hanji for ‘red’ — ? — a reference to the liberating pill.

9. The Church of All Worlds

The mission of the Church of All Worlds (CAW) is to reawaken Gaia and reunite Her children. Incorporated in 1968 by Oberon Zell, it was the first pagan church founded in the US and was officially recognized by the IRS in 1970. This is despite its basis in the work of science fiction writer Robert Heinlein, and in particular his 1961 novel Stranger in a Strange Land. It was the concept of a “Nest,” a group of people seeking to know each other deeply, that inspired Zell to found the CAW. In fact, congregations within the Church are themselves referred to as Nests.

Drawing on the ancient Greek Mysteries of Eleusis, the pagan May Royalty, and Zell’s own vision of Gaia as alive, the CAW embraces diverse beliefs and practices. More important is the shared set of values, which includes friendship and “tribal intimacy,” “positive sexuality,” and harmony with nature. That said, there is one rite that underpins the faith. Known as Watersharing, it symbolizes sacred bonds and our place in the web of life.

At heart, it’s a hippy religion. Its Mecca, so to speak, where important rites are held, is a sprawling woodland in Northern California called Annwfn (the Otherworld in Welsh mythology).

8. The Elven Spiritual Path

The Elven Spiritual Path draws on Tolkien’s Legendarium (his works set in Middle Earth) and in particular the cosmology of the elves. Its full name is Tië eldaliéva (abbreviated as T-e), which is Elven for “Path of the Star People.” 

This isn’t live action role-playing. Followers of the path are genuinely devoted to enlightenment on elvish terms. It’s also a recognized religion, complete with tax-exempt status. Even so, the church (called Yána eldaliéva, the “Sanctuary of the Star People”) meets mostly online with two different websites. They do have their own calendar, though.

To help visitors understand the religion, the FAQs evoke the image of a tuning fork. Vibrating at the frequency of a guitar string, it causes the string to vibrate. And this “sympathetic vibration makes sympathetic resonance possible.” What this means for the Star People in practice is that meditating aligns one with the vibration of higher consciousness, opening one to resonance with one’s full nature.

7. Satanism

Founded by Anton LaVey in the 1960s, Satanism is surprisingly atheistic. Neither LaVey nor his followers claim Satan exists. As LaVey put it himself, it’s more of a “state of being … a lifestyle, an outlook, an attitude.” In fact, Satanism isn’t even diabolical. It’s more of an “exultation of self,” offering non-religious people a way to feel religious. A large part of its appeal, therefore, lies in its rituals.

Of course, Satan features heavily in these ceremoneis — as do his cross-cultural equivalents. A list of “Infernal Names” is provided in LaVey’s Satanic Bible, and detailed instructions are given in The Satanic Rituals. Satanism being individualist, however, rituals may be freely adapted.

Unsurprisingly, this individualist religion is still very much thriving today. Although (like all good religions) a rift splintered LaVey’s Church of Satan into various sects, the original is still in operation. Meanwhile, LaVey’s daughter Karla founded the Satanic Breakfast Club, which became the First Satanic Church. And there’s also the Satanic Temple — which the Church of Satan denounces as un-Satanic (and which describes the Church of Satan as “inactive”) — and the Global Order of Satan, an “independent nontheistic rationalist Satanist religious ministry” founded in 2016.

6. Ed Woodism

The official website of the Church of Ed Wood greets every new visitor with a pop-up: “To answer your first question – yes, we’re serious!” You wouldn’t have thought so — despite its 3,000 followers. Founded in 1996 by Reverend Steve Galindo, Ed Woodism sees the pulp science fiction writer/director (whose credits include the laughable Plan 9 from Outer Space) as a Christ-like savior of sorts.

In a world of “easily offended, self-righteous, puritanical people,” adherents look to Wood as a beacon of understanding and acceptance — even of things rejected by society. According to the website, Wood’s example informs frank discussions of “sex, race, drugs, and transvestitism.”

Ed Wood isn’t God, though. For Ed Woodists, God is a movie producer: he “built the sets, got the casting ready, and financed our great, big movie masterpiece.” He just wants us to make a good movie, but he’s not the director. “We are the director of our lives.”

5. Raelism

Founded in the 1970s, Raëlism (the International Raëlian Movement or the Raëlian Church) says humans were created not by gods but extraterrestrial aliens — the so-called Elohim, which happens to be Hebrew for ‘gods’. Although atheistic, Raëlians (or Raëlists) revere the prophets of theistic religions — e.g. Jesus, Mohammad, Joseph Smith — as well as the Buddha and 35 others as Elohim/human hybrids. The fortieth and final prophet is Raël himself (Claude Vorilhon), the Frenchman who came up with the faith.

According to Raëlians, this is the Age of Apocalypse — which begun with the bombing of Hiroshima. The only way we’ll ever meet our makers is if we learn to wield technology for good. The Elohim won’t return until we do. The job of the Raëlian Church, therefore, is to spread this message and prepare for their arrival — which means building a Raëlian embassy. 

Sexual experimentation and meditation are both encouraged — as is human cloning to realise our destiny as immortals. In 2002 the Church actually claimed to have cloned a human — a baby girl they called Eve. 

4. Cosmicism

Cosmicism rejects theism for a nihilistic outlook and “a fear of the cosmic Void” — based on the writings of Lovecraft. It’s also known as the Cult of Cthulhu, the oldest of Lovecraft’s malignant Great Old Ones, or dormant primordial gods. 

While not all cultists think Cthulhu exists (as anything more than a metaphor), they all believe they’ve been called. The Call of Cthulhu is a personal thing that can manifest through dreams, synchronicities, or simply one’s fate or desire. But it sets one apart from the masses. According to the religion’s website, “only a select few are even worthy of The Cult and its teachings.”

Another key doctrine is Ascension — the belief that within every called cultist there’s an Elder God (benevolent ancient deity) seeking transcendence. And, as Lovecraft was a science fiction writer, it should come as no surprise that Cosmicism is a science religion drawing on multiverse theory and quantum decoherence.

3. The Church of Maradona

To say the Argentinian footballer Diego Maradona has a loyal fanbase would be an understatement. What he has are religious devotees. For all his flaws — drug addiction, involvement with the mafia, etc. — he’s revered as a saint. There’s even a physical church dedicated to his worship in the city of Rosario, Argentina. Congregants gather to share stories about Maradona’s effect in their own lives, as well as to celebrate his birthday (October 30) like Christmas.

In fact, Maradona’s association with the divine goes back further than the founding of the Church in 1998. Just four years after they lost the Falklands War, Argentina was again doing battle with Britain — this time for the 1986 World Cup. They had to win. And it was Maradona who scored the decisive goals, one of which earned him the name the “Hand of God.” He was also hailed as a saint — Saint Gennaro’s second-coming — in Naples for drawing attention to the city’s impoverishment after joining its football team.

Despite Maradona’s reluctance to be seen in this way, the Church of Maradona has half a million devotees across several countries. Its entrance is flanked by soccer balls in vases and covered in photos of the man. It even has its own version of the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Diego, who art in Earth / Hallowed be thy left leg / Thy magic come, / Thy goals are remembered, / On Earth, as they are in Heaven.”

2. The Prince Philip Cargo Cult

It’s not known why modernity-rejecting villagers on the Vanuatuan island of Tanna came to worship the Queen of England’s consort Prince Philip. But somehow they came to believe he was the pale-skinned son of a mountain spirit. According to ancient prophecies, he’s supposed to have traveled to a distant land to marry a powerful woman before one day returning to Tanna. They also believe he was the brother of the original cargo cult figurehead John Frum, who entered their pantheon in the Second World War.

Although Philip visited Vanuatu in 1974, he wasn’t aware of his status. But when he was told, he unsurprisingly embraced it — exchanging photos and gifts with the villagers. He sent them an official photograph, and they sent him a pig-bludgeoner. He responded by sending them a photo of himself holding it. In 2007, five of the villagers were invited to Britain to meet him.

But he never returned to the island.

1. The Creativity Movement

Not to be confused with Creationism, the Creativity Movement doesn’t care about dinosaur bones and evolution. All it preaches is the advancement of white people and the inferiority of “coloured mongrels.” It started in 1973 with Ukrainian Ben Klassen, who wrote about his hatred of Jews and non-whites. 

After his suicide 20 years later, student Matthew Hale took over. His aim was to take control of the government to forcibly deport all “inferior races” to Madagasdcar. But they wouldn’t stop there; under his leadership the Creativity Movement seeks to incite a “racial holy war” similar to China’s Cultural Revolution, in which any “non-white” elements of culture are annihilated. That would include rap music, which Creativity describes as “gruesome.”

Although it seems like just another bunch of racists, the movement sees itself as a religion. They don’t believe in God, but they do see whites as “nature’s highest creation.” Active in many of the most politically white countries — the US, Russia, Australia, France, Germany, Canada, Austria, Poland, and Switzerland — the movement even has its own White Man’s Bible. It also has more than 30 associated web sites, along with mailing lists, forums, and chat rooms.