Medicine has changed a lot over the years, but you’d be surprised at the unconventional nature of some of the medical procedures we’re still using today. These are 10 of the most bizarre medical treatments of our times.

10Fighting Skin Cancer With Cryotherapy

Cryogenics is a specific area of scientific research that deals with extremely low temperatures. You’ve almost certainly heard of the recent fad of getting frozen in a cryogenic chamber in the hopes of being revived by superior technology in the future. As it turns out, cryotherapy also has uses in current medicine and is being increasingly used to cure diseases like skin cancer.

The process largely consists of putting liquid nitrogen on a piece of cotton and applying it to the affected area. The only catch is that the part of skin treated with this method cannot be looked at or studied under a microscope because the frigid nitrogen literally burns it, so it’s hard to get an accurate biopsy of the diseased tissue after the treatment. There are also a few side effects—for one thing, you can expect pain and blisters for days due to the burning. There could also potentially be scars, but a little disfiguration is nothing compared to an effective treatment for cancer.

9Rebirthing Therapy

Rebirthing therapy is precisely what it sounds like—a therapy in which you pass through a very tight area in order to recreate your birth. The idea is to make you feel the same way you felt back then, which is supposed to refresh your senses and make you experience the miracle of infancy again. The therapy involves being passed through pillows, which are pressed together by the therapists to replicate the birth canal. Breathing might become difficult in the middle of it, but that’s just part of the process.

If that sounds a bit weird, law enforcement thinks so, too. The procedure has had its share of controversies, and quite a few people have reportedly died from it in the past—maybe because of the breathing thing we mentioned earlier. As it stands now, the therapy is illegal in Colorado and North Carolina.

8Symphysiotomy

Symphysiotomy is a procedure by which the pelvis of a pregnant woman is manually widened to allow for childbirth in lieu of a caesarean section. In places without apt medical equipment, saws are used to cut it wide enough for the child to pass through comfortably. That might sound like something from medieval history, but the procedure was widely used by Irish doctors between the 1940s and 1980s. The women were often not told in advance what the doctors intended to do, and the consequences were often horrendous. The victims weren’t able to walk, and they usually developed infections and back problems—basically, all the things you’d expect from having your body cut up with a saw.

The issue has only come to public light recently, and there are plenty of survivor groups fighting for justice even now. Some medical bodies have issued their apologies to the victims, and more survivors are now coming out with their stories in light of the increased media attention.

7Tooth In Eye Surgery

Osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis is a procedure for blind patients with damaged eye tissue. It involves pulling one of your teeth out and implanting it in your damaged eye. And it works—the transplant is based on the idea that once the body senses a tooth instead of, say, a mechanical implant, the body won’t reject it. A part of the jawbone is surgically separated for the process, then they drill a hole through the tooth to hold a prosthetic lens.

Once the transplant is successful and it’s been accepted as a part of the body, the doctors can replace the tooth with an artificial hold. The procedure is not yet widespread, but it has helped a number of people regain their eyesight. The doctors who perform this surgery have had a fair rate of success, and it might be fairly common in the future.

6Malaria Injections

Julius Wagner-Jauregg was the first of the only three people to have ever received a Nobel Prize in the field of psychiatry. Wagner-Juaregg was also one of the few psychiatrists to treat his patients through biological means, such as infecting them with malaria to cure diseases like syphilis. He was one of the doctors in charge of the psychiatric asylums in early 20th-century Austria, where the patients were coming down with a range of illnesses like pneumonia and typhoid.

Inspired by these cases, he started experimenting with deliberately giving people malaria to see its effects on other, unrelated diseases, which largely turned out to be successful. Wagner-Juaregg was working at the same time as Sigmund Freud, who was also from Austria, and even though Freud never won a Nobel, his psychoanalytic approach to psychiatry became much more popular than Juaregg’s biological one in the rest of the world.

5The G-Shot

If you want your G-spot to perform better than it usually does, G-Spot Activation therapy is probably for you. The procedure is meant to make it easier for a guy to locate it by literally increasing its size. After numbing it with anesthesia, they inject the G-spot with chemicals to artificially increase its size for a healthier sex life. The criteria for getting the injection is quite strict, though—you should be a sexually functioning female who knows where her G-spot is, and you shouldn’t have any other problems, like allergies or a loose vagina.

The procedure is very brief, and you can probably get back to having sex within hours of getting the shot. It’s been surprisingly successful—in a study done on women who had gotten the procedure, about 87 percent were found to be satisfied with the results, with better orgasms, increased libido, and a general improvement in their sex lives.

4Laughter Therapy

We all know that laughter is good for the body, but you may not have known that raising your hands in the air and laughing like a maniac is an increasingly popular therapy in countries like India. The therapy is largely a result of the efforts of Dr. Madan Kataria in 1970s Mumbai, who can be credited with bringing laughter into mainstream medicine. Laughter therapy is usually done in groups, and Kataria set up the first “laughter group” 40 years ago. There are currently about 5,000 different groups around the world dedicated to just laughing together.

In places where it is the most popular, it’s not unusual to see a bunch of random people throwing their hands in the air and laughing loudly every evening at the local park. It’s not really a sham procedure, either—research does indicate that laughter helps the body produce more warrior cells to fight off diseases.

3Bee Sting Therapy

Getting stung by a bee isn’t a lot of fun, but apparently it’s good for you. Apitherapy is based around the idea of finding medical uses for bees, and some of that includes letting them sting you. Practitioners don’t even go through the trouble of injecting the bee venom with a needle—an actual, live bee is held near the skin by tweezers and forced to sting the patient. The bees are often raised by the patients themselves, and some treatments involve getting stung about 80 times a day.

Apparently, bee venom is beneficial against arthritic pain and inflammation, and has long been used against these ailments; the earliest examples of the use of bee venom come from the ancient Egyptians, who used it to treat arthritis. The patients often report positive results from the treatment, so it’s fast catching up as a viable therapy for problems related to pain, like multiple sclerosis and tendonitis.

2Desert Sand Therapy

In Siwa, an oasis in the city of Cairo, Egypt, it’s an ancient belief that the hot sand of the desert has some sort of medicinal properties, so travelers and locals routinely allow themselves to be buried in it to rid their body of skin problems and other diseases. First, they dig a hole in the ground in the morning, allowing it to absorb all the good rays of the Sun, and at about 2:00 PM the patient lies down in the Sun-soaked hole. It is believed that the hotter it is, the more effective the treatment will be.

Then they cover the whole body with sand except for the head, which is kept in the shade by blankets set on a couple of sticks. If the ground gets damp with sweat, the wet sand is replaced with dry, hot sand to keep the procedure going.

1Three-Parent Babies

Using three people to make a baby is a relatively new procedure, but it’s being increasingly seen as a legitimate practice. Though mired in controversy, several countries are currently in deliberation over whether or not they will allow three-parent embryos. The main draw is that it would give parents-to-be the ability to prevent genetic diseases from passing on to the offspring.

During the procedure, nuclear DNA from the mother is dumped into a donor’s egg, which has been cleared to leave only healthy mitochondrial DNA. The father’s sperm is added, and the baby is born with genetic material from the mother, father, and the donor. It works because only the mitochondrial DNA from a mother carries genetic diseases, so with that taken out of the picture, the baby is born healthy. Nuclear DNA carries the traits, like eye and hair color, so the baby will still effectively be the offspring of the true parents. The procedure is done through in vitro fertilization, and the embryo otherwise grows up normally.

As we mentioned, the procedure has had its share of problems. It raises questions on whether we should be tinkering with our original design, though it can really help the large number of people who suffer from genetic disorders. Researchers believe that three-way fertilization can revolutionize the medical field, but people opposing it say that if the procedure becomes widely accepted, the next step can only be human cloning—despite the fact that three-way fertilization doesn’t involve genetic modification.

You can follow Himanshu on Twitter, or check out his stuff over at Cracked.

Although many of the procedures we perform on animals are for their own welfare, other times, we might just cut off a body part because it looks good. (Or we humans like to think so, at least!)

Putting things in animals (or taking them out) can also make the critters more manageable. Or make us a lot of money. But even when a procedure is done for the animal’s own good, our actions are still unbelievable sometimes.

10 Bile Bears

Bear bile has been used in Chinese medicinal remedies for hundreds of years, with believers claiming that it can cure a wide range of ills. (It cannot.) Even for what limited benefits it can have, there are better alternatives.

Nevertheless, bile bear farms are big business in countries that have not outlawed the practice. There are many ways that bile is extracted from a bear’s gallbladder, but none of them are pleasant for the animals.

Some bears undergo regular extractions. This involves immobilizing them, often with physical restraints, and then extracting the bile surgically (although the term “surgically” is being used rather loosely in this case).

Other bile farmers eliminate the need for regular “procedures” by leaving a catheter inserted into the bear’s gallbladder at all times. Some give the bears “torture vests,” as the rescuers of one bear called them, that constantly drain the bile into a box for easy recovery. Other farms do away with the need for restraining the bears by keeping them in “crush cages” where they live their entire lives without the freedom to move.^[1]

Bile farming has been banned in some countries, but the practice continues throughout many nations in Southeast Asia. As bears are captured in the wild, poaching and habitat destruction is leading to a population decline of wild bears in the region that experts fear will only get worse.

9 Holey Cows

To better understand what is happening in a cow’s digestive tract and increase the health of an entire herd, some researchers and farmers drill holes in their cows’ sides to create permanent portholes to their stomachs. The procedure is done under anesthesia, so it’s said that the cows don’t feel any pain.

A rubber plug is inserted into the hole, which can then be removed to monitor the cow’s digestive system. (It’s large enough to stick a human hand in.) As far as keeping the hole free from infections, agriculturists claim that the cow’s own gut microbes protect it from “bad” bacteria because the “good” bacteria prevent any from taking hold.

Animal rights activists call cannulating cows, which is the term used for this procedure, animal abuse. Agriculturists claim that it is done for the welfare not only of the cannulated cow but of the entire herd. As researchers can observe the cow’s stomach directly and insert or remove matter being digested, they can analyze it to create more nutritious diets for the cow.^[2]

Also, the material in its digestive microbiome plays an extremely important part in a cow’s health. When a cow is sick, the digestive system is often the last area to recover. But when farmers give material from a healthy cannulated cow’s gut to a sick cow, it dramatically speeds up the sick cow’s recovery.

8 Ear Cropping

To the surprise of many dog lovers, the upright ears of some breeds, like the Doberman pinscher, are not their ears’ natural shape. These dogs are not born with small, erect ears but receive them from a procedure known as “ear cropping.” It’s performed to make them have a more desirable look—to humans. (The dogs don’t seem to care one way or the other.)

Ear cropping is controversial among veterinarians and animal rights activists because they claim it has no value except cosmetic (again, to humans) and that the animal must endure pain and possible complications from cutting large sections of their ears off.

According to the American Veterinary Medical Association, no medical evidence confirms the claims of adherents who say that dogs benefit from ear cropping because it lessens the likelihood of ear infections. Assertions that the procedure improves hearing or can help the dog avoid future ear injuries are likewise not proven.

In fact, one of the problems with the procedure is that a dog’s ears can get infected as a postoperative complication. The ears must also be taped upright to remain in the desired position, and retaping can cause pain for the dogs. If the ears fail to remain upright, further cropping must be done, increasing the risks of infection and producing more pain for the dog.^[3]

7 Cutting Off Sheeps’ Butt Skin

Flystrike is one of the worst things that can happen to a sheep. The animal’s wool is thick all over its body, including the area around its anus, and its feces can start to build up around the area. This attracts flies. It’s such an inviting area to the insects that they can lay their eggs in the skin of the sheep, leading to them being eaten alive by maggots.

A sheep with flystrike can die in just a few days. To prevent this, sheep farmers came up with a procedure known as mulesing (after John Mules who invented it) in which they cut away the skin that grows wool around a sheep’s anus. This keeps the area free from feces and urine buildup.

Activists object to this procedure because the farmers actually cut away the animal’s butt skin, often without anesthetics or any postoperative procedures. Mulesing did not receive much attention until PETA found out about it and began posting videos and images of a sheep getting mulesed.^[4]

The sheep itself shows no indication of feeling any pain, But the blood from mulesing and further tests which show the animal’s astronomical increase in stress hormones tell a different tale. (As sheep are prey animals, it’s believed that they do not show pain.) PETA organized a boycott on Australian wool to combat the practice.

6 Tail Docking

Many breeds of dogs with short tails do not receive them from genetics but from a procedure known as tail docking. Basically, it’s a partial amputation of a tail. As with ear cropping, the main reasons are purely cosmetic, like when a dog’s breed standard has the image of a short, stubby tail.

Tail docking has been shown to have some value in rare cases. In working dogs, such as guard dogs and hunting dogs, tail docking can have some positive effects. It can keep the dog from getting injured when it travels through brush that could harm its tail. A guard dog could likewise avoid getting its tail yanked by an intruder.

However, the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) stresses that tail docking rarely has justifiable benefits even among working dogs. The organization does not support the practice. It is not so much that tail docking is harmful to the animal (aside from the pain of the procedure), but there is usually no benefit for the animal itself. So the AVMA does not believe it is necessary. It is illegal in countries like the UK.^[5]

Tail docking is not confined to canines, however. Docking cows’ tails, once routine in the US dairy industry, has likewise shown no benefit to the animal or dairy worker. It only adds to discomfort during fly season as the animals have more flies and a harder time dealing with them because the cows cannot swish their tails to swat the flies.

As a result, US dairy industry manuals discourage it. Young lambs and some horses also have their tails docked to prevent situations like flystrike or getting entangled in equipment. Unlike with other animals, tail docking in these situations has been proven to have some benefit to the lambs and horses.

5 Shoving Ginger Up Horse Butts

Different styles of show horses are held to different standards. In some categories, a “lively” tail is seen as a qualification to compete. The horse is supposed to keep its tail up and at the ready to be considered at the peak of its breed.

However, not all horses are as enthusiastic about keeping their tails up as their owners would like. So, some humans take the situation into their own hands, as it were, by shoving ginger up their animals’ butts.

The ginger acts as an irritant that makes the horse lift its tail. “Gingering” is the term used because the original technique was to pack horse buttholes with raw ginger, but other substances have been administered as well. Cayenne pepper or even kerosene is likewise applied to the horse’s anus and perineal/vaginal region to give the animal’s tail that extra perk.

Naturally, the practice of gingering has been banned at shows. It is harmful to the animal, and it doesn’t give a real representation of the breed. Swabbing for ginger and any other substance that might irritate a horse’s nether regions is a common practice. For testers who don’t want to get up close and personal with horse butts, thermal imaging is another option.

But some horseshow people have opted to cheat not with chemicals but with a practice called “nicking.” This cuts certain ligaments in the horse’s tail and then resets them at a higher position. Anything for a win.^[6]

4 Getting High (Steps)

Horses have more to worry about than their owners putting chemicals up their butts. As the Tennessee Walking Horse is known for its leg movements, some unscrupulous breeders in competition have been artificially producing the hallmarks of these horses by searing their legs with chemicals.

“Soring” a horse is harming the animal’s legs, often by putting chemicals on or around a horse’s hooves/leg area to make stepping painful. The irritant is put on the front legs and causes the horse to recoil in pain when it walks. This creates a much higher step that looks pleasing to an audience.

Officials have been critical of Tennessee Walking Horse shows for soring their horses. They clamped down on these practices in accordance with the Horse Protection Act of 1970, but then the officials ran into another issue. After a horse is sored, the practice can be covered up by adding even more chemicals to numb the pain until the horse enters the show.

At the 2013 Tennessee Walking Horse National Celebration, 67 percent of horses tested positive for chemicals that could have covered up evidence of soring. A spokesman for the Performance Show Horse Association said that the findings were incorrect. He added that the information did not come from USDA veterinary inspectors but from other outside organizations.

According to a veterinarian representing the organization, there was no scientific support for the findings and it was unreasonable to think that a horse’s legs wouldn’t have trace amounts of the substances. They say their goal is full compliance and that they don’t want the “Big Lick” competition ruined by cheaters.^[7]

3 Nose Rings Hurt (That’s Why They’re There)

Nose rings are placed in the nostrils of animals for several reasons. But whatever the endgame of the farmer is, nose rings were meant to cause pain. For animals like cows, a nose ring can be used to control an animal that is in close proximity to humans.

The cow can be led around by a rope tethered to the nose ring, or pulling on the ring can cause pain which discontinues the undesirable activity. Temporary nose rings are also placed on calves to wean them. The rings prevent them from nursing but allows them to eat food like adult cows.

Perhaps the most common images of nose rings in animals involve pigs, but they are also the most discouraged. The rings are seen as harmful to the pigs’ welfare. While nose rings can be used to lead a pig somewhere, the main purpose of nose rings in these animals is to stop them from rooting.

A herd of pigs rooting can destroy the plant life around an entire farm. However, many animal researchers believe that rooting is a behavioral need in pigs and to prevent that activity would be harmful to their welfare. Given that, other methods of rooting prevention are recommended. Nose ringing pigs is discouraged or even banned in several countries.^[8]

2 Chickens With Rose-Colored Glasses Or Blinders

Many people agree that chicken makes a very tasty meal, but unfortunately, that sentiment is shared by the birds themselves. They are cannibals. Each year, chicken farmers can lose up to 25 percent of their stock to chickens killing each other.

When one chicken draws blood, the sight of the blood draws other chickens to the injured bird. They attack it, too. So when a chicken bleeds, it often dies quickly at the beaks of its flock.

Chicken farmers use a range of methods to avoid losing their stock this way. Interestingly, this includes giving spectacles to their birds. These rose-colored glasses make it difficult for the chickens to see blood, which prevents mobs of them from attacking a lone bird.

Some glasses were designed to swing open when the chicken ate so that it had a normal view of its food. Then the spectacles would swing back down once the chicken lifted its head again.^[9]

Other kinds, called blinders, are opaque and prevent the chicken from seeing in front of its head. The chicken can’t see to attack another chicken, so deaths are prevented. There were even attempts to give the chickens permanent red-colored contact lenses. However, these only harmed the chickens and made some go blind.

Although some blinders and spectacles are temporary clip-ons, others are permanent. These are pinned directly into the nasal cavities of the birds and are listed as “mutilations” by the UK government. The practice is illegal there because it is deemed detrimental to the welfare of the birds.

1 Cutting Off The Eyes Of Prawns

Female prawns only like to reproduce under the right conditions. They want everything to be perfect when they lay their eggs. But their tendency to only reproduce when they’re satisfied with their little prawn lives poses a huge problem for most farmers.

Prawns in farms are generally under more stress than in the wild, so their bodies prevent them from sexually maturing. However, farmers need the prawns to reproduce. One way to encourage them is to create conditions where female prawns feel safe enough to allow their ovaries to mature. Another method is cutting their eyes off. (Or just slicing them open.)

Female prawns have a gland in their eyestalks that control the maturation rate of their ovaries. If females won’t reproduce, then farmers simply have to remove this gland. Without it, the prawn’s ovaries begin to mature.

As the gland is in the prawn’s eyestalk, gland removal is generally done in one of two ways. Complete amputation of the eyestalk extracts the gland with it, and the prawn starts making babies.

But blinding a prawn is not necessary in the procedure known as eyestalk ablation. Farmers only need to slice the eye open and then squeeze the eyestalk to get rid of the gland. The eye will heal, but we don’t know how the prawn’s vision fares after having their eyes sliced in half. Science says it probably hurts, too.^[10]

Mike lives on the East Coast and pays too much for beach parking.

If you make it through life without ever getting sick or injured, you may be entirely fictional. It’s nearly impossible to live without needing medical help at some point. If you’re lucky, you’ll only need minor help. 

For more in-depth issues, medical science has all manner of treatments and procedures that may be able to help you. Some are simple, some are complex and a handful are so weird they sound like they have to be totally fictional. But they’re not!

10. A Bogota Bag Involves Sewing a Urine Bag Over an Open Wound

If someone told you that you needed a Bogota Bag you’d be forgiven for thinking it was either a horrible euphemism or the nickname for something used to smuggle drugs. In reality, the Bogota Bag is a medical procedure used to help close over stomach wounds.

It’s not unheard of that a patient’s stomach can essentially burst after certain procedures. Closing the ensuing wound can prove to be extremely difficult. There are various methods such as using a mesh or packing the abdominal cavity but they can all be risky and lead to further complications. The Bogota Bag, so named because it was first tried in Bogota, has proven to be one of the safest methods.

If a patient has an open stomach wound, doctors can take a sterile plastic bag, often a bag used to collect urine, and cut it open. The bag is then placed over the wound like a shield and sewn to the skin. The patient will have a fully exposed hole covered over by this plastic bag sewn on top of it that can allow the stomach wound to heal underneath or can at least allow the wound to remain covered and sterile until doctors are able to properly treat the cause of the damage and prevent further injury.

9. Rectal Prolapses Can Be Treated With Sugar

Few words in the English language can inspire more discomfort than “rectal prolapse.” The idea is not a pleasant one, and the reality is even less so. Any number of reasons including issues with muscles or ligaments can cause a patient’s rectum to slide out of place and protrude from the body rather than remaining inside as it’s supposed to. This can lead to dangerous complications if it’s not resolved.

In some cases, surgery may be required to fix the problem but not always. In fact, there’s a method that is recommended for a person to try at home if this was a onetime sort of deal you’d like to fix on your own. And, let’s be honest, most people probably want to fix this on their own.

The doctor-approved method for repairing a rectal prolapse at home requires sugar. If you are unable to use a gloved hand to gently push a prolapse back inside, sprinkle it with granulated sugar and wait 15 minutes. The sugar won’t harm the tissue but it will absorb moisture. In doing so, it will cause the prolapse to shrink and make it easier to push back into place.

8. Osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis Involves Sewing a Blind Patient’s Tooth Onto Their Eyeball

The term osteo-odonto-keratoprosthesis doesn’t roll off the tongue very well. Thankfully, it’s not something most of us need to know but if you ever require the procedure, you better believe you’re going to remember it. It involves sticking a tooth in your eye.

Known as tooth-in-eye surgery, the procedure can restore vision to those who suffer corneal blindness. A patient’s tooth is removed and doctors drill a hole through it. In the hole a small, plastic lens is placed. The tooth is planted in the patient’s cheek so that tissue can start growing over it and it can develop a blood supply. 

Skin from the mouth is sewn to the eye, then the tooth is sewn to the surface of the eyeball with the lens in the correct position. The new lens functions the way your old eye was supposed to. Patients who have undergone the procedure went from totally blind to having 20/20 vision.

7. Laser Surgery Can Turn Brown Eyes Blue

Laser eye surgery to improve vision has been around for years now and most people are familiar with it. But it’s not the only kind of laser eye surgery you can get. Plastic surgery is also an option if you don’t like your eye color. 

For those who have brown eyes, and it only works with brown eyes, there’s a procedure to burn away that pigment with a laser and leave your eyes devoid of pigment which makes them appear blue. The process takes just a few seconds but will require a couple of weeks to show off the results. You’ll also have to go south to get it done as it’s not approved in the United States. 

There’s also a second option for eye color changes in the form of iris implants. This is supposed to be for people with iris damage, but colored silicone replacements can be surgically implanted, permanently changing eye color. They’re known to cause a host of side effects and complications, though.

6. InstaBreasts or Vacation Breasts Give a Patient Bigger Breasts for a Day

Breast implants remain one of the most common cosmetic surgery procedures in the world. There are around 300,000 performed each year in the United States. The procedure costs, on average, about $4,500 and that’s not including the cost of anesthetic or certain other expenses. 

For those who aren’t willing to commit to the procedure and maybe just want to take augmented breasts for a test run, there’s a procedure called InstaBreasts, also known as Vacation Breasts. It offers a temporary idea of what you might get if you went ahead with permanent implants. 

The process lasts for just 24 hours and still comes with a price tag that ranges from $2,500 to $3,500. A doctor will inject a saline solution directly into the breast tissue causing them to immediately swell. Your body will absorb the liquid within 24 hours and pee it out.

5. Rotationplasty Turns Your Foot Into Your Knee

The name “rotationplasty” doesn’t sound ominous or odd at first, but the reality of the procedure is quite perplexing, especially at first glance. The procedure is most often used to treat bone cancer, generally in and around the knees of children. 

The knee, the bottom of the femur and the upper portion of the tibia are entirely removed to excise the tumors. The lower portion of the leg is turned right around, a full 180 degrees and then attached to the rest of the femur. The ankle becomes the new knee, and the foot is on backwards, where you’d normally expect the knee to be.

Once the surgery is complete, a prosthetic can be attached that allows the patient to walk more or less as normal since they now have a functional knee again. 

4. EPR Involves Removing a Patient’s Blood and Replacing it with Cold Saline

Leaning heavily into what looks like science fiction is EPR or emergency preservation and resuscitation. The procedure is a kind of suspended animation meant to give doctors more time to save a patient in a time sensitive emergency situation. 

Like similar ideas in fiction, a patient is forced into a state of hypothermia and their organs are slowed down. That means that their body has to be cooled down to about 10C to 15C or 50F to 59F. This is done by literally replacing the patient’s blood with freezing saline.

The process can extend the time doctors have to operate by up to two hours. It’s only done in the case of a severely traumatic injury, such as a gunshot wound, when the patient has already lost half of their blood and their heart has stopped.  Normally, patients only have a 5% survival rate in conditions like these.

The cooling shuts down the patient’s brain, preserves the organs and they are more or less dead at that moment. But they can be operated on and an injury that would normally only give doctors minutes to repair can now be operated on for those two hours. 

After surgery, the patient gets blood pumped back into their body and their temperature is raised.

The procedure was first tried on a human patient in 2019.

3. Defecography Requires You To Get an X-Ray While You Poop

For doctors to gain a fuller understanding of a patient’s overall condition imaging is often necessary. You’ve got your CAT scans and your MRIs and your X-rays. And then you’ve got your defecography.

Defecography is done with a certain kind of x-ray or MRI and its focus is entirely on how you poop, particularly how your muscles work during the process. Unlike a traditional X-ray where you just hold still and get an image taken, for this one you need to be a little more active. Which is to say it has to be done while you’re in the process of defecating, hence the name. 

As you can, but probably don’t want to, imagine, this is a little more in-depth than most imaging. And it gets worse. They don’t want to watch you poop actual poop for this exam. Instead, they pack you with a barium paste. It has the same consistency as poop, which we’re not going to question right now, but because it’s barium, it shows up easily in scans. 

Once you’re full, you get to sit on a special scanning toilet and let loose the dogs of war. The scans taken will show how all your various organs and muscles work during the process and ideally will aid in diagnosing whatever condition brought you to a doctor in the first place. 

2. The Krukenberg Procedure Can Turn Your Forearm into a Pincer

If you were to get into an accident and lose your hand, you might expect that your options about what to do next are limited. Maybe the hand could be reattached in certain circumstances, but what if that’s not an option? Most of us would probably consider a prosthetic as the next choice. Hand prosthetics have existed since the 16th century and modern ones can be quite advanced. 

There is another option that is less well known for patients who have lost a hand. The Krukenberg procedure dates back to the early 1900s, and it involves turning someone’s forearm into a lobster claw-like pincer.

The procedure is rarely done and typically only performed on patients who cannot afford a prosthetic but still need their hands for work. It allows for some minimal dexterity because it separates the arm bones, the ulna and the radius, to create two appendages like long fingers. The patient can move them and grip things, though obviously not as strongly as they could with a functional hand. One of the perceived benefits is that the patient retains sensation which, in some cases, is preferred to having a prosthesis. 

1. Pokertox is a Botox Procedure to Hide a Gambler’s Tells

Everyone knows about Botox these days, that procedure is old news. Less well known, although essentially just a niche version of the exact same thing, is Pokertox. It’s 100% a gimmick that appeals to a very small segment of the population but that doesn’t mean it can’t make someone a few bucks.

The idea of a poker face is something anyone familiar with gambling is aware of. Poker is a game of skill that requires understanding not just the cards you’re dealt but, oftentimes, the people you’re playing against. If you’re bluffing your way through a game, you need a solid poker face so that you don’t give away any clues. But what if you can’t help it? What if you have a very expressive face?

Pokertox is a procedure to inject Botox into your forehead so that your face is a little too firm and frozen to express any emotion, thus making you a better poker player. Is there any scientific validity to the idea? Who’s to say? But it still exists.

When you think of modern medicine, what do you picture out in your head? Pristine doctors in white coats speaking to you calmly, administering safe medicines in the comforts of a nice modern office? That’s not entirely wrong, as advances in the field have led to a majority of diseases treatable in this manner. However, medicine still has its darker side.

We’re not saying people are secretly chlorinating your water source or recycling dead bodies, but several medical procedures we seem unable to get past are largely crude and horrifyingly barbaric by today’s standards. If it works, stick with it, right?

10Scraping The Womb

The fields of obstetrics and gynecology are probably among the bloodiest in medicine. Most women, due to problems with their uterus, have to undergo at some point in their lives what is known as “curettage,” or the scraping of the womb. This procedure involves the introduction of a sharp “curette” that scrapes the inner lining of the uterus. These tissues are then sent for analysis to make sure that nothing is wrong with them—namely, that there isn’t an early cancer growing particularly in the presence of problems with menstruation.

Other times, it may be done after a miscarriage to ensure that no remnants of the deceased baby are left. Although effective, it is nonetheless cringe-worthy and makes us wonder why nothing less invasive has been invented up to this day.

9Drilling A Hole Through A Skull

Probably the oldest procedure in medicine that is still practice today—the act of drilling a hole through one’s skull, referred to as “Burr Holing”—can be traced back to the time of Hippocrates and the early Greek civilization. The principle of the procedure remains largely the same, but the purpose and the methods differ.

Generally, while the early Greeks used to do it with the belief that headaches were caused by massive amounts of “water” in their heads that would cause an imbalance of the body’s functions, today’s patients who undergo this ghastly procedure usually have massive amounts of blood pooling beneath portions of their skull, often the result of severe trauma and accidents. There also exist other variations of skull carpentry, some of which involve removing a large portion of the skull and keeping it for use later. However, unlike in the older days of primitive surgery, all of this is done under heavy anesthesia.

8Burning Off Flesh

Back in medical school, a rotation in the Department of Surgery often meant being exposed to blood, guts, and burning flesh. As barbaric as this sounds, the science of “cauterization” or “cautery” has drastically improved how surgeries are done.

Cautery simply refers to the act of searing a portion of flesh. This is done via a small electrical current that is driven through a handheld electrode that can be controlled with either a foot pedal or a button. Fundamentally, it refers to destroying microscopic layers of protein and ensuring that blood vessels are sealed shut in the process—an invaluable tool in procedures where one cannot risk having the patient lose too much blood. So the next time you see a surgeon, thank him for having the stomach to endure that oh-so-characteristic smell. Perhaps that’s what those masks are really for.

7Sticking A Tube Through Your Brain

Many of us would like to think of the brain as the single most important untouchable organ in the body. So how would you feel if doctors told you they had to stick a tube into the deeper portions of your brain?

No, nothing sophisticated to it. Just a tube. Passing through your skull, burrowing into the cavities of your brain.

Yes, people still do this, particularly for cases where there is a pressure buildup inside the skull (hydrocephalus). However, as expected, it’s done under utmost controlled conditions. It is lifesaving, but despite that, the thought of having a tube rammed into your head is enough to scare the life out of most people.

6Shoving A Tube Down Your Windpipe

What happens when we don’t breathe? We get a machine to do it for us. However, despite the promise of noninvasive means of facilitating breathing, the most effective method still remains the crudest and the most invasive. This involves placing a special plastic tube (or “endotracheal tube“) down someone’s windpipe.

How do they place it in, doctor? Good question. In a nutshell, they get a metal blade that holds the patient’s mouth open while the doctor forces it down the windpipe. Simple. Effective. Yet utterly frightening.

It is, however, considered to be one of the more “heroic” measures that must be done in the event of cardiac arrest and for critically ill patients. So the next time you watch the next episode of ER or Code Black, look for the tube. Chances are, it’s bound to get shoved down someone’s throat. Fast.

5Rotting Radiation

Cancers still remain among the most difficult diseases to treat in today’s medical landscape. Our understanding of cancer remains highly rudimentary, and our current methods of treatment reflect that. Generally, cancers are treated with a course of either chemotherapy (poison injected into your veins), surgery, or radiotherapy, or a combination of the three.

Radiotherapy is deadly radiation that is concentrated into the diseased site. Despite whatever fancy names companies think of, it is a beam that causes the tissues to either self-destruct or rot. It is a death ray, albeit a very precise and concentrated one. It’s not exactly pretty, nor is it without risks—other organs may also be affected should the procedure not be done properly. But don’t be afraid. We’re not going to see any scarred megalomaniacs strapping these onto sharks in his death lair anytime soon.

4Cavity Exploration

We’ve come a long way in terms of X-rays and other imaging. Today, we have CT scans, MRIs, and a bunch of other noninvasive ways to determine what’s wrong with our bodies. But what happens when nothing shows up on the readouts? And the patient’s still complaining that he’s about to explode? In most cases, most doctors have a good idea of what’s going on. But a confirmatory procedure, such as a getting a tissue sample or directly observing it, may be necessary.

So what happens? You guessed it. There are times when doctors conduct what is known as an exploratory surgery to tell what’s causing symptoms or diseases. They open you up and start probing to see what’s wrong. This may also be attempted in cases of emergencies where both a diagnosis and treatment are necessary, such as gun-shot wounds and other accidents.

3Gouging The Knee

Apart from the famous Skyrim memes, the medical field has a penchant for doing many violent things to one’s knees, the most frightening of which is gouging a huge needle through the knee.

There exist numerous variations of this, the most brutal one of which is called “intraosseous cannulation.” This procedure involves sticking a large bore needle through the knee to deliver medications straight to the blood system, which can be achieved with the needle traversing the rich blood vessel network within the front portion of the knee. However, this is regarded as a drastic measure and used as an alternative to the usual vein lines in giving medications.

2Snapping Joints Back Into Place

On TV, have you ever seen someone fall and snap their leg into an awkward position? And then the character just snaps it back into place? We actually do that in the medical field.

Bones are held together at joints by a complicated system of ligaments (or stretchable tissue) and muscles forming a generally strong support system. However, when accidents happen, some of these joints are forced out of alignment and may fracture. In the absence of a fracture, where the bones are simply not aligned, there really is no other option than to snap it back into place, often immediately before the muscles start to tighten.

1Amputation

Nothing too drastic has changed in the long history of managing severely infected and destroyed limbs. Apart from trying to salvage one’s toes, fingers, arms, and legs through restoring blood flow, once the limb reaches the end game of having it rot, amputation is still the way to go.

Although we’ve mapped out most of the structures of the arms and legs we’d like to minimize injuring, the act of actually removing a limb to cure someone is still quite astonishing despite advances in science. So everyone—please do take care of those cuts and bruises, and if you’re diabetic, foot care and blood flow screening should be at the top of your to do list today.

Dr. Keith Andrew Chan is an internist and Internet meme extraordinaire. He often refers to himself as “The One” and frequents local milk tea parlors when not working at the hospital. He is a regular contributor to cebumd.com and writes for various national health publications. Follow him on Twitter for more medical humor.

Most plastic or cosmetic surgery is apparent to the naked eye: Her breasts look bigger (or smaller or higher). His nose looks straighter. But some plastic surgery results are visible only to the recipient (and perhaps their significant other).

Requests for plastic surgery on genitalia are on the rise, motivated by desires for an improved self-image or increased sexual satisfaction. And while most plastic surgery procedures are performed on women (about 80 percent, in fact), it turns out that more men than women request work on their private parts.

This list reveals some of the procedures that are currently on the menu. Would you consider going under the knife down there?

10 Monsplasty

The mons pubis, or mons, is the triangular fatty pad covering the pubic bone, running from the top of the pubic hair down to the genitals. Both men and women have it, but it’s more obvious in women. The surgery is more popular with women, but men can also receive the benefits.

Fat accumulation and loose skin—from weight gain/loss, aging, C-section, hormones, even genetics—can lead to an enlarged mons. Monsplasty removes excess skin and fatty tissue to give the mons a firmer, flatter appearance.

While many cosmetic procedures involve liposuction to remove fat, monsplasty is surgery that uses a scalpel to remove the offending skin and fat. The procedure often accompanies a tummy tuck because a bulging mons pubis is often more noticeable after removing fatty tissue and tightening the skin on your abdomen.

While the procedure delivers aesthetic improvements, it has other benefits as well, making intercourse, urination, and even hygiene easier.^[1]

9 Labiaplasty

A labiaplasty is a vaginal rejuvenation (or “designer vagina”) procedure. Vaginal rejuvenation often involves lasers, ultrasound, or other energy devices to tighten the vaginal area. But a labiaplasty is surgery that reduces the size/shape of a woman’s genitalia.

The labia can become enlarged due to childbirth, aging, sexual activity, or genetics. The condition, when revealed by form-fitting clothing, is sometimes referred to as “camel toe” or “crotch cleavage.” An enlarged labia can cause difficulties with exercise, sex, and hygiene and may lead to urinary tract infections. It can also interfere with wearing clothes like yoga pants and swimsuits.

There are different ways to reduce the size of the labia (e.g., trim procedure, wedge procedure). The overall goal is to remove the excess part of the labia minora (the inner tissues of the female genitalia), so it lines up with the labia majora (outer part).^[2]

8 Clitoral Hood Reduction

The skin fold that covers and protects the clitoris is called the clitoral hood. The clitoris contains thousands of sensory nerve endings and is extremely sensitive. The clitoral hood protects the clitoris from friction and clothing that could irritate it. It also makes a lubricant (sebum) that helps the hood glide over the sensitive clitoris. When a woman is sexually aroused, the clitoris becomes engorged. This swelling pulls back the clitoral hood (much like the foreskin of a penis) and aids in a woman’s ability to achieve orgasm.

Some women may want to reduce their clitoral hood to eliminate discomfort. Women who’ve had the above-described labiaplasty may find their clitoral hood looks top-heavy. Other women may simply want to increase sexual clitoral sensation by exposing more of their clitoris. Each of these things can be addressed with a vaginal rejuvenation procedure called a clitoral hood reduction.

The clitoral hood reduction (aka clitoral hoodectomy, clitoral hoodoplasty, clitorial unhooding) reduces the excess tissue in the folds of the clitoris. The outpatient procedure involves trimming the skin and suturing with disposable stitches. The surgery should result in better-looking and more comfortable genitals.^[3]

7 Hymenoplasty

The hymen is the thin membrane that partially covers the vagina. In many cultures, an intact hymen is thought to be a sign of virginity, but penetrative sex isn’t the only cause of a torn hymen. The membrane can be torn by exercise, horseback or bicycle riding, tampon insertion, masturbation, or a pap smear.

Women who want to restore their hymen can opt for a hymenoplasty, also known as hymenorrhaphy or temporary hymen reconstruction. The desire to do so isn’t always cosmetic. It might stem from the cultural or religious belief that a woman must prove her virginity on her wedding night. For women who have been sexually abused or traumatized, the procedure may provide psychological and emotional relief.

With this surgery, a thin layer of tissue is taken from the vaginal wall and placed in the location of the torn hymen. The restored hymen will tighten the vaginal opening and—like the original hymen—may or may not bleed upon penetration.

This procedure, which is illegal in some European countries, provides no greater medical or physical benefit.^[4]

6 Labia Majora Augmentation with Fat Grafting

A woman who wants to plump up her labia might opt for dermal fillers like those used to make lips larger. But there’s also a longer-lasting surgical alternative: labia majora augmentation with autologous fat transfer.

This outpatient surgery liposuctions fat from the patient’s abdomen, hips, or flanks and transfers it to the labia majora. The intent is to improve the fullness and firmness of the labia majora and eliminate sagging skin for a more youthful-looking appearance.^[6]

5 G-Spot Amplification

G-Spot amplification is another surgical procedure that aims to improve a woman’s self-esteem, sensation, and libido. It also involves using autologous fat transfer. This method seeks to magnify the G-Spot up to four times and is also known as G-Shot or G-Spot augmentation.

A German doctor named Dr. Gräfenberg was the first to describe the concept of the G-Spot, an area on the front inner wall of the vagina. The procedure includes an injection of hyaluronic acid or collagen filler to this erogenous area. It is believed that this procedure increases the sensitivity, the duration of female orgasms, and their frequency.^[6]

Don’t worry, guys. We haven’t forgotten about you. The rest of this list is dedicated solely to you…

4 Penis Lengthening Surgery

A man’s perception of his genitals is directly related to his self-esteem and sexual identity. That may be why men are all-in on this cosmetic trend.

There is rarely a medical need for penis enlargement surgery. The Urology Care Foundation says it’s only necessary in cases of micropenis—an abnormally small penis caused by hormonal or genetic issues. The average penis size for an adult is 13.24 centimeters (5.21 inches) when stretched. A stretched penile length of less than 9.3 centimeters (3.66 inches) is considered a micropenis. However, the majority of men seeking this type of surgery have a penis of “normal” size.

Penis elongation surgery is a bit of a misnomer. In this procedure, the suspensory ligament that attaches the penis to the pelvic bone is cut. The enables the flaccid penis to hang lower and look slightly larger even though its size has not been altered. Sometimes a skin graft is necessary to complete the surgery. Complications are a concern. Wound separation, scarring, pubic depression, or hairlessness may occur. The penis may develop an unnatural hump at the base, while a change in the angle of erection may also result.

The penile length gained may increase by a centimeter (less than ½ an inch) or so, but it’s possible that no lengthening results. Using weights or stretching devices postoperatively—and for a period of months to years—may allow additional length gain. Removing the fat from the area around the penis can also make it look bigger than it is.^[7]

3 Penile Girth Augmentation

Increasing penile girth is another sought-after cosmetic procedure. Achieving good results (i.e., symmetrically increased girth) is difficult. Girth surgery can lead to severe complications and deformities.

The patient’s own fat is injected into the penis. If the injections are irregular or too much fat is injected, unsightly nodules may occur. Asymmetry and loss of penile rigidity due to excess fat are other complications.

Alternatively, skin grafts can be used to increase girth by up to 4 centimeters (1.5 inches). The grafts are secured around the circumference of the penis with sutures. Severe complications (scar formation, penile shortening, penile curvature) may result if the grafts do not survive completely.

Some practitioners inject synthetic materials, such as liquid silicone or hyaluronic acid, to enhance girth. Injections may provide a good short-term appearance, but long-term results are unlikely.^[8]

2 Testicular Implants

There are many medical conditions that can contribute to the size and symmetry of testicles: infections, tumors, medication, or genetics. Some men are simply born with one testicle, uneven testicles, or testicles that fail to descend. And some men are sensitive about these “abnormalities.”

A testicular prosthesis is an artificial testicle implanted in the scrotum to provide the appearance of the real thing. Like saline-filled breast implants, testicular implants can be made to the size and consistency desired by the patient.

This minor outpatient surgery can be completed in about 30 minutes. Pain meds and antibiotics are typically prescribed, and the surgical stitches eventually dissolve on their own. Gentle manipulation of the area will help the implant settle in a natural position. Regular exercise and activity can resume around two weeks after the procedure.^[9]

1 Scrotoplasty

A man’s scrotum can become stretched and loose due to genetics, aging, trauma, or injury. Many men, both young and old, struggle with scrotums that are sagging, large, or low-hanging. In extreme cases, a stretched scrotum can cause painful chafing, interfere with sexual intercourse, or even reach the water when the toilet is being used. Men with stretched scrotums complain of discomfort, hygiene concerns, sexual problems, and overall embarrassment and low self-esteem. Nonsurgical treatment involves wearing supportive underwear or a jockstrap, which may slow but not stop the sagging.
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Scrotoplasty (aka scrotum reduction, scrotal lift) removes excess skin from the scrotum to improve appearance and comfort. The result is a tighter, smaller, rejuvenated scrotum. It’s a fairly simple procedure that can boost a man’s self-confidence and pleasure during sex.

The outpatient surgery does not interfere with the testicles or fertility. The majority of men undergoing this procedure are over age 40. Consider rest, scrotal elevation, and ice compresses for several days after the operation to help with healing. Avoiding constipation, straining, and heavy lifting are encouraged. Most patients return to regular activities and sexual intercourse within three weeks.^[10]