When you think of modern medicine, what do you picture out in your head? Pristine doctors in white coats speaking to you calmly, administering safe medicines in the comforts of a nice modern office? That’s not entirely wrong, as advances in the field have led to a majority of diseases treatable in this manner. However, medicine still has its darker side.

We’re not saying people are secretly chlorinating your water source or recycling dead bodies, but several medical procedures we seem unable to get past are largely crude and horrifyingly barbaric by today’s standards. If it works, stick with it, right?

10Scraping The Womb

The fields of obstetrics and gynecology are probably among the bloodiest in medicine. Most women, due to problems with their uterus, have to undergo at some point in their lives what is known as “curettage,” or the scraping of the womb. This procedure involves the introduction of a sharp “curette” that scrapes the inner lining of the uterus. These tissues are then sent for analysis to make sure that nothing is wrong with them—namely, that there isn’t an early cancer growing particularly in the presence of problems with menstruation.

Other times, it may be done after a miscarriage to ensure that no remnants of the deceased baby are left. Although effective, it is nonetheless cringe-worthy and makes us wonder why nothing less invasive has been invented up to this day.

9Drilling A Hole Through A Skull

Probably the oldest procedure in medicine that is still practice today—the act of drilling a hole through one’s skull, referred to as “Burr Holing”—can be traced back to the time of Hippocrates and the early Greek civilization. The principle of the procedure remains largely the same, but the purpose and the methods differ.

Generally, while the early Greeks used to do it with the belief that headaches were caused by massive amounts of “water” in their heads that would cause an imbalance of the body’s functions, today’s patients who undergo this ghastly procedure usually have massive amounts of blood pooling beneath portions of their skull, often the result of severe trauma and accidents. There also exist other variations of skull carpentry, some of which involve removing a large portion of the skull and keeping it for use later. However, unlike in the older days of primitive surgery, all of this is done under heavy anesthesia.

8Burning Off Flesh

Back in medical school, a rotation in the Department of Surgery often meant being exposed to blood, guts, and burning flesh. As barbaric as this sounds, the science of “cauterization” or “cautery” has drastically improved how surgeries are done.

Cautery simply refers to the act of searing a portion of flesh. This is done via a small electrical current that is driven through a handheld electrode that can be controlled with either a foot pedal or a button. Fundamentally, it refers to destroying microscopic layers of protein and ensuring that blood vessels are sealed shut in the process—an invaluable tool in procedures where one cannot risk having the patient lose too much blood. So the next time you see a surgeon, thank him for having the stomach to endure that oh-so-characteristic smell. Perhaps that’s what those masks are really for.

7Sticking A Tube Through Your Brain

Many of us would like to think of the brain as the single most important untouchable organ in the body. So how would you feel if doctors told you they had to stick a tube into the deeper portions of your brain?

No, nothing sophisticated to it. Just a tube. Passing through your skull, burrowing into the cavities of your brain.

Yes, people still do this, particularly for cases where there is a pressure buildup inside the skull (hydrocephalus). However, as expected, it’s done under utmost controlled conditions. It is lifesaving, but despite that, the thought of having a tube rammed into your head is enough to scare the life out of most people.

6Shoving A Tube Down Your Windpipe

What happens when we don’t breathe? We get a machine to do it for us. However, despite the promise of noninvasive means of facilitating breathing, the most effective method still remains the crudest and the most invasive. This involves placing a special plastic tube (or “endotracheal tube“) down someone’s windpipe.

How do they place it in, doctor? Good question. In a nutshell, they get a metal blade that holds the patient’s mouth open while the doctor forces it down the windpipe. Simple. Effective. Yet utterly frightening.

It is, however, considered to be one of the more “heroic” measures that must be done in the event of cardiac arrest and for critically ill patients. So the next time you watch the next episode of ER or Code Black, look for the tube. Chances are, it’s bound to get shoved down someone’s throat. Fast.

5Rotting Radiation

Cancers still remain among the most difficult diseases to treat in today’s medical landscape. Our understanding of cancer remains highly rudimentary, and our current methods of treatment reflect that. Generally, cancers are treated with a course of either chemotherapy (poison injected into your veins), surgery, or radiotherapy, or a combination of the three.

Radiotherapy is deadly radiation that is concentrated into the diseased site. Despite whatever fancy names companies think of, it is a beam that causes the tissues to either self-destruct or rot. It is a death ray, albeit a very precise and concentrated one. It’s not exactly pretty, nor is it without risks—other organs may also be affected should the procedure not be done properly. But don’t be afraid. We’re not going to see any scarred megalomaniacs strapping these onto sharks in his death lair anytime soon.

4Cavity Exploration

We’ve come a long way in terms of X-rays and other imaging. Today, we have CT scans, MRIs, and a bunch of other noninvasive ways to determine what’s wrong with our bodies. But what happens when nothing shows up on the readouts? And the patient’s still complaining that he’s about to explode? In most cases, most doctors have a good idea of what’s going on. But a confirmatory procedure, such as a getting a tissue sample or directly observing it, may be necessary.

So what happens? You guessed it. There are times when doctors conduct what is known as an exploratory surgery to tell what’s causing symptoms or diseases. They open you up and start probing to see what’s wrong. This may also be attempted in cases of emergencies where both a diagnosis and treatment are necessary, such as gun-shot wounds and other accidents.

3Gouging The Knee

Apart from the famous Skyrim memes, the medical field has a penchant for doing many violent things to one’s knees, the most frightening of which is gouging a huge needle through the knee.

There exist numerous variations of this, the most brutal one of which is called “intraosseous cannulation.” This procedure involves sticking a large bore needle through the knee to deliver medications straight to the blood system, which can be achieved with the needle traversing the rich blood vessel network within the front portion of the knee. However, this is regarded as a drastic measure and used as an alternative to the usual vein lines in giving medications.

2Snapping Joints Back Into Place

On TV, have you ever seen someone fall and snap their leg into an awkward position? And then the character just snaps it back into place? We actually do that in the medical field.

Bones are held together at joints by a complicated system of ligaments (or stretchable tissue) and muscles forming a generally strong support system. However, when accidents happen, some of these joints are forced out of alignment and may fracture. In the absence of a fracture, where the bones are simply not aligned, there really is no other option than to snap it back into place, often immediately before the muscles start to tighten.

1Amputation

Nothing too drastic has changed in the long history of managing severely infected and destroyed limbs. Apart from trying to salvage one’s toes, fingers, arms, and legs through restoring blood flow, once the limb reaches the end game of having it rot, amputation is still the way to go.

Although we’ve mapped out most of the structures of the arms and legs we’d like to minimize injuring, the act of actually removing a limb to cure someone is still quite astonishing despite advances in science. So everyone—please do take care of those cuts and bruises, and if you’re diabetic, foot care and blood flow screening should be at the top of your to do list today.

Dr. Keith Andrew Chan is an internist and Internet meme extraordinaire. He often refers to himself as “The One” and frequents local milk tea parlors when not working at the hospital. He is a regular contributor to cebumd.com and writes for various national health publications. Follow him on Twitter for more medical humor.

Do you throw a pinch of salt over your left shoulder if you spill a saltshaker at the dinner table? This odd little tradition is meant to ward off the Devil who, apparently, will lurk over your shoulder if you spill salt… I think. This is because, according to many famed daemonologists, spilled salt is the Devil’s favourite, uh, meal.

Well, this quirky little superstition is nothing compared with the entries in this list—people all over the world still engage in some pretty extreme, gruesome and downright bizarre behaviour simply because that’s what has been done for generations. From throwing babies from great heights to trying to high-five venomous snakes, faith is still a great motivator. And, sometimes, deranging.

RELATED: Top 10 Bizarre Traditions

10 Snake Handling – Evangelical Christianity, Southern US States.

Moe Syzlak’s faith of choice is a real, living and breathing religious movement. If you love Jesus enough, so the Snake Handlers believe, you won’t get bitten. Not figuratively, they handle venomous snakes. The Bible does seem to hold a justification for the practice, if you squint tightly enough as you read the passages from the gospels of Mark (16: 17-18) and Luke (10: 19) and squeeze an air-horn whenever any pesky theologians decide to question the validity of the practice.

Mainly practiced by off-shoots of the Holiness, Pentecostal, Charismatic and other minor evangelical churches in the Appalachian Mountains, members used to participate in the laying on of hands to heal the sick, speaking in tongues and consumption of strychnine, relying on faith not to die of the effects of drinking the powerful poison (plenty of people died during the last practice). But it is the snake handling that has cost the most lives—as many as 120 deaths since 1910, with around 35 people dying between 1936 and 1973.
Even when snake handlers don’t die when bitten, plenty of parishioners in these churches display atrophied hands and missing digits.

But, at the very least, when a snake handler dies, believers don’t think it was due to a lack of faith—it was simply in God’s plan.

9 Crucifixions – Christianity, The Philippines.

This practice definitely is in the Bible (somewhere near the back, I think). Not sure it was ever suggested as something Christians should do, however. According to some Filipino Christians, that’s nonsense! They allow themselves to be crucified. Not in the silly Easter passion play way with leather straps over their wrists for 20 minutes, either. They actually get properly nailed to some planks of wood.

Catholic leaders have condemned the practice, worried that someone might get hurt (!) Although it’s clearly dangerous, one must admit that it’s an impressive show of faith, as well as an incredible display of endurance and dealing with what is clearly excruciating pain. In 2019, 9 people at 3 different sites across The Philippines were nailed to crosses to celebrate Easter. I think I’ll stick to egg hunting and hot crossed buns. Meanwhile, in Greece…

8 Red Eggs – Greek Orthodox Christianity, Greece.

Let’s take a break from the more extreme rituals for a moment. This fun little Easter game is a staple at dinner tables all over Greece and across the Greek Diaspora. The ‘Red Egg Game’ is a fun, sometimes tense party game played. Eggs are painted red to symbolise the blood Christ shed upon the cross and placed in a basket. Then the fun begins.

According to Select Bakery’s website (a traditional Greek bakery in Toronto, Canada) the rules of the game are thus:
1. Each player selects a red egg and finds an opponent. (Usually the person sitting next to them)
2. One person says, “Christos Anesti” (Christ has risen)… and the other replies, “Alithos Anesti” (Indeed He has risen).
3. The person who said “Christos Anesti” taps the end of his or her egg lightly against the end of the opponent’s egg. (The goal is to crack the opponent’s egg.)
4. When one end is cracked, the winner uses the same end to try and crack the other end of the opponent’s egg.
5. The winner with the unbroken egg then challenges another person and so on around the Easter dinner table until one person remains with an unbroken egg.
6. The player who successfully cracks the eggs of the other players is declared the winner and is said, will have good luck during the year.

Yeesh, that’s a nerve-racking, messy old game!

7 Baby Throwing – Multi-Faith, India.

From egg-cracking to (hopefully) avoiding some baby-cracking. It is considered a portent of great luck for your new infant should it complete a 30-ft plunge from a roof. This ritual is still popular in parts of Karnataka and Maharashtra states in India.

In the city of Solapur, the ritual is completed from atop the Baba Umer Dargha, an Islamic shrine. The tots are flung from a platform 15 meters above the ground and (hopefully) caught in a cloth held below. The tradition is said to date back to a suggestion made by a Sufi mystic who, on hearing about the rise in infant deaths, suggested that ailing babies be thrown in the manner still practiced today. This, he claimed, would show “their trust in the Almighty”. He further suggested that: “the babies were miraculously cradled to safety in a hammock-like sheet that appeared in mid-air.” Today, instead of a randomly materialising cloth, it is brought to the foot of the shrine and held by both Muslim and Hindu men.

6 Burning The Guy – Secular (Historically, Protestant), Britain.

“Remember, remember the fifth of November. Gunpowder, treason and plot” is a little rhyme you’ll hear around Britain on ‘Bonfire Night’ before we all head out to let off fireworks. Another tradition on this day is for children to go door to door holding a crudely made scarecrow-looking effigy and ask: ‘Penny for the Guy?’ (the ‘Guy’ is the effigy, not some random man who may be skulking behind the kids), before the community assembles at a predetermined location and sit the Guy on top of a pile of wood and set it ablaze. It’s pretty awful when you spell it out like that.

The ‘Guy’ is a representation of Guy (or Guido) Fawkes, a Catholic conspirator who planned the so-called gunpowder plot along with 12 other men—they plotted to blow up the House of Lords during the Opening of Parliament ceremony, killing King James I, (many non-Catholic monarchs had plots hatched against them during this period—King Henry III was assassinated by a Catholic fanatic in 1589, 16 years before the gunpowder plot). The plot was uncovered before it could be executed, and the conspirators were killed. So that’s why, every year, the people of Britain ceremonially burn Guy Fawkes.

That’s a long time to hold a grudge!

5 Knot Tying and Untying. And tying. And Untying – Zoroastrianism, worldwide.

The Boy Scouts have a pretty good reputation for knot tying. So too does the Navy. But none of these people can hold a candle to certain Zoroastrians. These guys take knot tying and untying to another level—a transcendent level!

The traditional Kushti (formerly known as a ‘zonnar’) is a sacred girdle made from tightly wound white woollen strands. It is worn around the waist by devoted Zoroastrians, wound 3 times around, tied twice employing double knots at the front and the back, and left to hang on the back. The 72 separate strands represent the 72 chapters of the ‘Yasna’, the main liturgical works found in the ‘Avesta’ (the Zoroastrian equivalent of the Bible). If this doesn’t sound complex enough, the daily ritual, known as the Nirang-i Kushti, that’s performed using this garment is intense: the adherent must stand in one spot, facing the sun or a light source, untie and then re-tie the Kushti in complete silence. If the adherent is compelled to speak, the ritual must be started over. Plus, you have to do this at least 3 times a day! Priests, at least 5 times.

I’m sure that many young Zoroastrians have the sorts of mothers that call up from downstairs “Where did you leave the remote” in the middle of the Nirang-i Kushti, prompting an answer. Probably followed by a “Never mind, it was on your dad’s belly!”.

4 Finger Cutting – Dani Animism, Papua.

They say that losing a loved one can be like losing a piece of yourself. For women in the Dani tribe on the Indonesian island of Papua, this sentiment is taken quite literally.

Women who suffer a bereavement were once required to amputate the ends of their fingers – for both the spiritual representation of their grief and to ward of the potentially vengeful spirits of the deceased. In times past, even small babies were required to have fingertips removed, often bitten off by their mothers (older, voluntary women have their fingers cut off by a relative using a sharpened stone blade). Now this ritual has been made illegal, but rumours persist that the remote tribe continue anyway. Many Dani women seem to be suspiciously lacking in digits.

3 Penis Power – Hinduism, India.

“Respect the cock!” shouteded Tom Cruise’s charismatic motivational speaker character in the movie Magnolia. Some people around the globe take this quite literally!

Whereas the Japanese take this suggestion in the abstract, having a whole Shinto festival dedicated to the concept of the penis called the Kanamara Matsuri, held each Spring in Tokyo; but in India, a certain holy man garnered respect due to the power of his own one-eyed trouser snake.

Well, at least one guy did back in 2018. The man was a Sadhu, an itinerant Hindu holy man who rejects earthly comforts, accepting the hardships of life as a test of his spirituality. Well-trained in yoga and meditation, these men are known to wear very little or nothing at all, relying on the kindness (and probably awe) of strangers to get by. Plus, the occasional stunt like pulling a small truck with a rope tied to your cock is bound to get a few coins thrown your way. Wonder if these Hindu holy men have ever considered OnlyFans?

2 Bomena – Traditional, Bhutan.

Meanwhile, in Bhutan…

Being the only place in the world that eschews GDP as a measure of the nation’s overall health by repying on a ‘happiness index’, one must question how ‘happy’ people are that the so-called ‘Night Hunting’, commonly referred to as ‘Bomena’ in Bhutanese, continues in the easternmost parts of the country. Author and researcher on Bhutanese culture Dorji Penjore wrote that, “this courtship involves a boy stealthily entering a girl’s house at night for courtship or coitus with or without prior consultation… (Bomena) is an institution through which young people find their partners and get married… Ideally, the process culminates in the morning, with what is locally called jai da jong (meaning ‘coming to the surface’) when the boy is found on the girl’s bed, which is an indication to declare them husband and wife”

With the advent of social media, it seems that this ritual may be a thing of the past. With claims from some that Bonema is responsible for increases in STD transmission, unwanted pregnancy, fathers abandoning their children and many cases of rape, maybe this is one tradition that Tinder will be a better mechanism for the… oh.

1 Jumping Naked Over Castrated Cows – Ethiopia.

You want to grow up and be a real bro? If you are a member of the Hamer tribe of Ethiopia, you better go find a dickless bull, strip off and do some stretches for a spot of jumping (I’m sure kangaroo boots are verboten).

But what does it mean to the Hamer when we say, ‘to be a man?’ Put simply, you’ll be allowed to marry. A massive party is arranged for the event, drinking and dancing all day until sunset. Then, the boy will try to run over the bull’s back 4 times without falling. If he face-plants every time, he must remain a boy for another year before getting another go.

So, if you find yourself living as an adopted son amongst the Hamer people, you’d better hope to pass this tricky test. Unless you want a life as a South-western Ethiopian tribal bachelor-for-life, that is.