“Space, the final frontier,” as described by Star Trek’s opening sequence, is a place of mystery and exploration, where humans have only just begun to scratch the surface of what exists. We have sent many probes and astronauts into space to conduct experiments in our quest to understand the universe and our place in it.

Some of these experiments might prove beneficial. However, others might seem pointless in helping us to better understand our universe and the laws that govern it. So grab your astronaut ice cream, and let’s explore ten experiments in space that seem pointless…but maybe aren’t.

Related: 10 Social And Biological Experiments With Freaky Results

10 A Rose by a Different Scent

In 1998, NASA partnered with the International Flavors and Fragrances (IFF) to study the impact of microgravity on the smell of a rose. They wanted to develop a new perfume from what they hoped would be the result.

As it turns out, putting a rose into microgravity changes the number of volatile oils the rose produces. The volatile oils of a rose carry the scent of the flower. When the rose was tested in space, it produced less of the oils, which completely changed the fragrance of the rose.

IFF decided to create a new perfume called “Zen” by Shiseido Cosmetics using the findings of this experiment. After sending a rose to space, I can only imagine the IFF’s R&D bill.

9 A Tragedy’s Small Silver Lining

In 2003, the space shuttle Columbia exploded on re-entry, killing the entire crew. While cleaning up the wreckage, crews found a salvaged experiment containing nematode worms.

The worm’s survival was an important discovery because it showed that life could survive landing on another planet without being protected by a ship. It may also explain how life has spread throughout the galaxy.

Even today, nematode worms are being sent up to the International Space Station for further experiment and observation.

8 The Twins Study

What are the long-term effects of space travel? That is what researchers hope to find out with the Twins Study. NASA has been studying astronaut Mark Kelly and his identical twin brother Scott. For how smart the people at NASA are, they aren’t clever when naming their experiments.

Scott was sent to the International Space Station to spend almost an entire year in microgravity. And while Scott was floating, Mark was here on earth completing the same trials, so the 84 researchers working on this experiment could see just how much microgravity affected the human body.

Not surprisingly, since our bodies are developed to handle earth’s gravity and conditions, there were a lot of changes to Scott. Some of those changes included:

• Decreased body mass
• Changed eye shape
• Overactive immune system
• Changes in his chromosomes

Once Scott was back on earth, his body mostly recovered. Scientists are hoping to help humans handle the stress of living in space through this study, but nothing has been provided to the public on its results. I can only imagine finding astronaut twins is a tall order to meet.

7 Extreme Tether Ball

When we can put a satellite into orbit, attaching one on a 21-kilometer-long (13-mile) tether behind a shuttle doesn’t seem to make any sense to the average civilian. But that is exactly what scientists wanted and did; scientists wanted satellites to generate electricity while they were pulled through the earth’s magnetic field by a space shuttle.

Both attempts failed. The first shuttle managed to release only 840 feet of cable before jamming. The second attempt in 1996 was closer to success; the shuttle Columbia managed to release 12.2 miles of cable before it snapped, effectively slingshotting the satellite into deep space.

The tether cable was only 2.54 millimeters (1/10th of an inch) thick; surprisingly, it did well for what it was. According to NASA, the system had been generating electricity, about 3,500 volts and 0.5 amps. So it is possible to generate green energy during launch; we might just want to try a stronger and thicker cable.

6 Growing Plants in Space

Anyone who has seen the movie The Martian, starring Matt Damon, understands this experiment’s theoretical importance. If we are ever going to colonize Mars, we will need to be able to grow our own food. That really is the goal for understanding what it takes to grow fruits and veggies in space.

Remember what happened to sailors when they didn’t eat enough vitamin C. They got scurvy because they couldn’t keep fresh produce on their ships. So far, scientists haven’t grown much but a few varieties of lettuce, cabbage, kale mustard, and flowers. Eventually, scientists want to be able to grow all kinds of vegetables and fruits since even having the plants on board makes the astronauts happier.

5 The Water Walls Experiment

The Water Walls (what a unique name, huh?) experiment is designed to study how water behaves in microgravity. It involves using a water-filled “bags” system to create walls of water that astronauts can use for a wide variety of purposes.

Engineers are hoping that they might be able to replace some or all of the critical life support systems currently in use. They want to have a bag for the ship’s gray water, one for black water, another for air purification, one for edible algae, and lastly, one to shield astronauts from space radiation.

The best part is that if successful, it would dramatically reduce the mechanical and technical equipment required for today’s life support systems. The only mechanical piece on the water walls would be water pumps to move the water where it is needed.

4 Mighty Mouse Isn’t Fiction Anymore

Any experiment that starts with genetically modified “mighty mice” will spark the interest of just about anyone. The mice in the experiment were mutated to have double the muscle mass of their plain jane counterparts.

The point of the experiment was to see what effects microgravity had on muscle loss and bone mass. The results were that over 33 days in space, the genetically superior mighty mice didn’t lose any of their muscle or bone mass. At the same time, the regular space mice lost around 18% of theirs in that same time.

Scientists are hopeful that with these results, they might be able to help people both on Earth and astronauts that have to deal with muscle loss either because of disease or low gravity. According to geneticist Se-Jin Lee, we are still years away from human testing.

3 The Fire Experiment

One of the worst things that could happen on a spaceship is a fire, as it can quickly spread and destroy vital support systems. NASA’s plan to avoid that disaster is to safely light the International Space Station (ISS) on fire. Yup, you read that right.

The project has been named SoFIE, which stands for Solid Fuel Ignition and Extinction. SoFIE experiments will be carried out in the ISS’s combustion rack. Scientists hope to learn how fire spreads and acts with different materials while in low gravity, with the end goal of establishing colonies on the moon and Mars with minimal risk of fire destroying everything.

2 The Ice Crystal Experiment

The Ice Crystal experiment is designed to study how ice crystals form in space. I know what you are thinking; ice is ice—water gets cold and freezes, space is cold, end of the story. And you would be correct at the most basic level; all ice is just frozen water.

However, the way it forms and acts in space is different than what it does on Earth. Why is this important? Because it could help us find planets or other celestial objects with water and decide whether it would be possible for life to live there. Remember, water is life for us, and as far as we understand, everything else.

You’ve probably noticed that almost all the experiments have long-term space travel or colonies in mind. This is no different; if we can find objects with enough water that can support life, the galaxy will become just a little smaller.

1 The Human Genome Project

The Human Genome Project is an ongoing effort to map the entire human genome. There are around 3 billion letters held within human DNA, so understandably this experiment took years for scientists to consider a success. In 2003, after 13 years of progress, scientists completed mapping 92% of the genome and considered the project completed. After another 14 years, the human genome has been mapped in its entirety.

The project has been and continues to be important for various reasons. It has helped scientists learn more about the genetic causes of diseases, has led to the development of new and better treatments for illnesses, and has even helped us understand where human evolution is headed.

Some geneticists believe that the map of the human genome is the key to successfully saving the human race. Christopher Mason, who was the lead geneticist for the Twin Study mentioned above, believes that we will be able to use the map to modify humans and other species to handle the struggles of space exploration better.

The world has gone absolutely crazy for superheroes. There are tons of superhero movies in production and an endless supply of comic books as a ground zero source of inspiration. The comic industry has tried to capitalize on the success of heroes such as Batman, Spiderman, and Wonder Woman, but the results are not always so super.

Our list below will cover ten heroes whose powers are seemingly pointless. With so many attempts at creating new heroes, they can’t all be winners. Jazz, Squirrel Girl (seriously?), and the Almighty Dollar are just a few of the incredibly silly heroes that have been created over the years. Some of them even have catchphrases that are worse than their names and powers. Maybe these comic book editors are the real supervillains. So hunker down in your own “Fortress of Solitude” and get ready to marvel at some of the most pointless powers ever put in print.

Related: 10 Superhero Actors Who Have Their Own Tragic Backstories

10 Hindsight Lad

Hindsight Lad! Just saying his name brings a smile to my face. Marvel Comics created this hero. His name is very appropriate, and his powers are very pointless. Hindsight Lad has the incredible power of (you guessed it) hindsight. After various missions with his superhero pals, Hindsight Lad analyzes and understands how events could have played out differently. I guess his hindsight is 20/20?

Clearly, Marvel was scraping the bottom of the barrel when they came up with this one. To be honest, Hindsight Lad seems more like an annoying friend than a superhero. What’s next? Back-seat driver guy? The Grammar Corrector? Some of the other heroes on this list have even more pointless powers.

9 Cypher

Cypher has one thing that many heroes on this list do not: a cool name. With such a great name, it is too bad that his power is seemingly pretty useless. Cypher is one of the X-Men, like Wolverine, Storm, and Cyclops, but his power lies in linguistics. His mutation is that he can understand every language. While that may have seemed cool (or at least useful) at the time, now that we all walk around with Google translate in our pockets, he seems totally useless.

It seemed that Marvel came to the same conclusion in 1988 when he was killed off in a comic book. It turned out his story was not over because he came back to life in 2009. I think that a mutant power to understand different languages would barely qualify you as an X-Men, but I guess Professor X had to get his enrollment numbers up. Cypher’s very specific and rarely useful power makes him one of the most pointless heroes of all time.

8 Squirrel Girl

Yep, seriously, there is a comic book hero named Squirrel Girl. I am convinced that they only made this character because the name rhymes. There is certainly no other rhyme or reason to this character. Squirrel Girl is kind of like Aquaman, except her powers work above the ocean, and she can only communicate with one kind of animal: squirrels.

If you are in a squirrel or acorn-related emergency, this is the hero you want coming to your rescue. Otherwise, she is pretty worthless as far as heroes go. Squirrel Girl also takes on some of the powers of a squirrel. She can chew through wood, has a tail (for balance, I guess?), and has sharp claws. Squirrel Girl is a member of the Great Lakes Avengers, alongside another pointless hero on our list. Some of these heroes are crazy ideas, no doubt, but the creator of Squirrel Girl must have been totally nuts.

7 Almighty Dollar

Like many, Almighty Dollar is a hero who has a secret identity. However, his secret identity seems as though it would be pretty easy to crack. His name is J. Pennington Pennypacker, which is already a huge clue. Almighty Dollar also works as a CPA by day. You read that right; not only does Almighty Dollar have a name that clues to his identity, but he also works as an accountant!

Almighty Dollar can shoot pennies out of his wrist. Not only are his powers underwhelming and his secret identity not very secretive, but Almighty Dollar also has a cringeworthy catchphrase. When he’s hunting down his enemies (tax evaders?), he says he can “throw money at my problems.” As you may have guessed, this character did not stick around for long, and customers didn’t want to throw any pennies, much less dollars, at these comics.

6 Badrock

Many of the most recognized heroes from comic books are from the two biggest publishers, Marvel and DC. The next hero on our list was a creation of a much smaller company, Image Comics, as a part of their “Youngblood” series. At least, apparently. Badrock looks suspiciously familiar. This is because he is basically a copy of a much more famous hero, Marvel’s Thing. This means that his powers include super strength and resistance to damage.

However, this was not the only aspect of Badrock that Image Comics ripped off. Initially, Badrock had a better (or at least more logical) name of Bedrock. The creators of the Flintstones cartoons (Hanna-Barbera) contacted Image Comics, and they quickly changed the name to Badrock. Badrock’s catchphrase? “Yabba dabba doom.” Yikes. I think it is fair to say that the character of Badrock was yabba dabba doomed from the start.

Comic books and comic book heroes thrive on their unique qualities and creativity. Badrock had neither and simply made for a pointless hero.

5 Phone Ranger

A.G. Bell was just an ordinary telephone repairman. Yes, kids, that used to be a real job. He would travel from house to house, repairing home telephones. Until one day, his life totally changed! A.G. Bell was helping a customer fix their phone when he realized that the phone contained a message from an alien race. A.G. Bell created a super suit and a new persona using this alien technology. This is the origin story of the Phone Ranger, another Marvel hero on our list.

The Phone Ranger’s suit enabled him to connect to any telecommunications device. This allowed him to respond quickly to emergency calls. Unfortunately, his lack of useful powers led to an early death. While the Phone Ranger may have seemed like a cool idea at the time, looking back, it seems ludicrous. His special power was connecting with phones. Don’t phones do that anyway? While his origin story was much better than most on our list, the Phone Ranger’s powers were seemingly pointless and even laughable.

4 Razorback

The next hero on our list is one with regional roots. He is the hero of the state of Arkansas. Or he was designed to be, at least. Buford Hollis was a truck driver before he became the hero Razorback. Razorback has multiple powers, all of them with questionable utility. First, he has the “power” to drive, pilot, or operate any vehicle. He always names his vehicle “Big Pig.” While this is impressive, is it really a power?

His other power relates to the large hog head he wears as a head covering. It is electrically charged. Razorback is a clear attempt to pander to the state of Arkansas but was unsuccessful. Despite the best efforts of Marvel writers, including featuring Razorback in comics with Spiderman, She-Hulk, and other famous heroes, Razorback never achieved any of the same popularity. Maybe that is because he is a glorified cab driver with a silly hat.

3 Jazz

Jazz, or John Arthur Zander, is another Marvel hero with pointless powers. Jazz’s father was a genetic mutant who did not feel pain. Because he was not visibly a mutant, he could live in normal society. However, Jazz was not so lucky. He was born with blue skin. Maybe this was not so much of a “superpower” and was more of just a skin condition.

Jazz had a tough story arc throughout Marvel comics. First, he left home at 16, trying to become a famous rapper. He must not have been that great of a rapper because he was unsuccessful and eventually started dealing drugs instead. Finally, in one of the most pathetic deaths of a hero in comic history, Jazz was killed by another mutant, Johnny Dee, who created a voodoo doll of Jazz. Despite being branded as a mutant, Jazz had no useful powers and just suffered because of his blue skin.

2 Hepzibah

The next hero comes to us from another planet. Hepzibah is a Mephitisoid species, which means she is a humanoid with skunk characteristics. In fact, Hepzibah is not even her real name. Her real name cannot be pronounced because it is a series of smells. Hepzibah is a nickname by another comic book character, Corsair. Her powers are as strange as her name and origin.

She is acrobatic and has superhuman night vision and smell. Most uniquely, she can emit pheromones. Hepzibah has been embraced by the furry community for her animal characteristics, but overall, her powers are pretty useless. She definitely has an unforgettable look with a huge skunk tail. In recent comics, she has become more like a cat and less like a skunk. Her ears and tail may have changed over the years, but her powers remain mostly useless.

1 Mr. Immortal

The last hero on our list has a pretty dark origin story. As a young man, Craig Hollis was tricked into starting a fire by the villain Deathurge. The fire ended up killing both of Hollis’s parents. This obviously left Hollis feeling depressed. His depression led to suicide attempts. When Hollis realized he could not kill himself, Mr. Immortal was born.

He began to try and fight crime on his own. Eventually, he formed the Great Lakes Avengers along with Squirrel Girl. Mr. Immortal, as you might guess, cannot die. When he does, he is quickly resurrected, often with fits of rage. While this is certainly an amazing power, it is not very useful compared to flying, super speed, or superhuman strength. Mr. Immortal’s origin story is a sad one, and so is his superpower.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock since before the 1950s, you’ve heard of The Guinness Book of World Records. It is the most authoritative source for world records of all kinds. The guidelines for submitting a world record are relatively loose.

Technically speaking, anybody can apply for almost any record, as long as it meets the established guidelines. If a person submits an entry for a new record, the record must be (a) measurable, (b) breakable, (c) standardizable, (d) verifiable, (e) one variable, (f) universal, and (g) substantially different from another record.

Other than this, anybody can submit just about anything as a World Record, leaving the door wide open for a few, shall we say, silly ones. Your fifteen minutes of fame may only be a matter of minutes and an application form away. Here are ten of the most pointless world records attempted by mankind.

Related: Top 10 Record-Breaking Body Parts

10 Fastest Time to Cross a Greased Pole

Picture this: You’re out and about, maybe on a casual stroll, when you come to a pole. It’s your only bridge and, if you can’t cross it, you’re stuck. In addition to having to cross a pole, that pole is also greased. It happens all the time, obviously, so here’s to the guy to cross the greased pole faster than anybody else.

Antonio Papa broke the record in the spring of 2016 when he crossed a pole slicked with grease in 3.09 seconds. This native Italian beat out the record’s previous holder, Joe DaSilva, from the USA. DaSilva had made his messy impression on the world of pole crossing back in 2012 on the show, Guinness World Records Gone Wild! But it looks like there’s a new Papa in town. 

9 Most Tattooed Man

In case you thought you saw the most tattooed person at work last week at Hot Topic, here’s someone to measure that against. We’re talking about the most tattooed man in the world. Getting inked up is no easy task, especially since your skin can be pierced up to 3000 times per minute by a tattoo machine.

But Luck Diamond has tattoos covering his entire body. That’s right, even his eyelids, his ear lobes, his… well, you get the idea. As a tattoo artist himself, you could say he wears his work on his sleeve. He’s also a sword swallower and juggling performer. But no street act is quite as entertaining as seeing someone with every inch of their body inked. How’d he do it? Like anybody else, I suppose… one tat at a time. 

8 Largest Smurf Collection

Collecting is all about finding something unique and expressing yourself, right? Well, Gerda Scheurs has over $100,000 worth of Smurfs in her home. Just imagine how much Gargamel (the classic Smurf nemesis) would do for that pile of cash. And with all those blue faces staring at her, Scheurs will never live alone. Apparently, there’s a Smurf collection community online, in case you’re interested. That sounds like one very Smurfy hobby to me. 

7 Most…”Flesh Tunnels” in the Face

If the term “flesh tunnels” is disturbing to you, I don’t exactly suggest watching this video. But if you’re curious, the record-holder for the most flesh tunnels in your face is James Goss from the UK. Flesh tunnels are body piercings in a tube shape. They’re sometimes called expanders, eyelets, or gauges. Goss beat the previous record-holder from Germany, Joel Miggler, last year. He says he found Miggler interesting and was inspired to take it a few flesh tunnels further. You could say he stretched himself. 

6 Most Almonds Consumed in One Minute

It might sound pointless to try to consume more almonds than anyone else in a 60-second period, and I suppose it is. Leah Shutkever, however, decided it was well worth her time to go for the record. It’s hard to say how many people have sat down and attempted to eat the most almonds, but perhaps you’ll be inspired after seeing this story. Perhaps it would be more difficult if you added some spice to the almonds, but all you have to do to beat this record is sit down with a bag of almonds and try to eat more than 40 in a minute—set in Oct 2021. Be warned, though. Shutkever is an expert. She’s a professional speed eater who apparently holds several world records related to this strangely pointless talent, though I guess the almonds do sort of have a point…

5 Furthest Distance Traveled Across LEGOs

As of November 20th, Kevin Strahle, otherwise known as “L.A. Beast,” broke the record for the longest distance walked over LEGO pieces. The distance was 3,886.2 m (12,750 ft). If you skip to the end of the video, you’ll see the toll the walk took on his feet. When will this skill come into play in his everyday life? I’m not sure, but at least if he ever has kids, he’ll be able to handle whatever is waiting for him on their unkempt bedroom floor.

4 Longest Continual Vocal Note

It’s not over ’till the fat lady sings. But when does she stop singing? Since the beginning of musical theater, Sopranos have been fighting about who can hold the longest continual note. (No, we’re not talking about the Italian mafia TV series, but these singers can be just as ruthless).

So how long can you hold a note? Try one minute and fifty-two seconds. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the current titleholder is Richard Fink IV. Just like Celine Dion’s heart, this song will go on, and on, and on…

3 Most Times Folding That Paper

It’s the ultimate question: do you fold or wad? While this video shows toilet paper folding, there are record holders for all kinds of paper out there. One young woman from California, Britney Gallivan, broke the record for folding printer paper. Her high school teacher told her that paper couldn’t possibly be folded more than a few times. Gallivan was able to make it to twelve before she folded (pun intended).

The moral of the story is this—don’t believe everything your teacher tells you. You just might prove the theories wrong and become the proud owner of a totally meaningless world record. 

2 Most Objects in a Beard

The COVID-19 pandemic led to a lot of guys deciding to see how long they could grow their facial hair before it drove their significant others to madness. For some, it was a show of masculinity. But for others, a bushy beard just wasn’t enough.

Why not take beard growing a step further by using that beard to break a world record? 

Joel Strasser decided to try just that, though not all just because of a pandemic. His record-breaking beard will be sticking around a while longer. He has several records pertaining to how many of each object he can shove in his beard. Here are a few of the beard-related records he holds: 

• Toothpicks: 3,500
• Chopsticks: 520
• Golf tees: 607 (You don’t actually have to be good at golf to break a record) 
• Straws: 312
• Baubles (Christmas ornaments): 302

If you want to get a little extra festive this year, here’s one to try. I wonder how many ornaments Santa Claus stuffs in his beard each year to entertain the elves. Strasser says these feats are about architectural understanding and technique. He stacks the objects in a particular way, so they stay in the beard. Otherwise, he says, they would simply fall to the floor.

In addition, Strasser advises hanging onto the straws if you attempt that one. He doesn’t want you killing any sea turtles, apparently. It’s both an admirable concern and an impressive bearded feat. 

1 Fastest Time to Eat a Burrito

A half an hour for lunch never seems quite long enough for a workday, does it? You’ve barely had three bites of your PB&J before it’s time to push a few more pencils. Well, 35.26 seconds is all Leah needs for her lunch break. That’s right—Leah Schutkever has made the list again.

In addition to those almonds, she takes a very fast lunch break, apparently, requiring only 35.26 seconds to down an entire burrito. Her goal when attempting this feat was to beat 40 seconds. It was achieved in 2019 and has yet to be beaten. I’m betting the bathroom break took longer than the actual burrito eating.

War. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. And to drive that point home with some stark consistency, these are 10 of the most pointless wars that have ever been waged,

10. The Pastry War

Most wars are named in a way that gives you an incline about what they were about or at least between whom. The Franco-Prussian War, World War I, the names make sense. So when you hear about a war called the Pastry War, it’s not unreasonable to be a little confused about what it even means.

The Pastry War did have pastry at its root, but it was more a war looking for a cause than a cause for a war. It took place in 1838 and 1839 between the nations of France and Mexico. Before this time, Mexico was still a very young nation and France was not entirely on board with their independence. The king of France still considered Mexico an extension of Spain, and France and Spain were not on the best of terms, nor had they been for a few hundred years.

In 1830, France and Mexico developed a trade relationship, and this led to new tensions over taxes. And this helped exacerbate an already existing and relatively insignificant problem. In 1828, during a period of civil unrest in Mexico City, the pastry shop of a man named Remontel was ransacked by Mexican soldiers who ate all his pastries and he wanted compensation. 

Remontel demanded the Mexican government compensate him with 60,000 pesos. His shop was worth only 1,000. When Mexico declined, he complained to France. The King demanded Mexico pay 600,000 pesos. Mexico scoffed at the idea. France responded by deploying ships of war to set up a blockade. One thing led to another and the next thing you know, 30,000 French soldiers have taken over Veracruz and captured the entire Mexican Navy.

After seven months with no progress in defeating the French, Mexico had the British intervene on their behalf. They paid France 600,000 pesos and Remontel got his 60,000.

9. The Lobster War

If you’re going to go to war over food, you may as well make it something luxurious. In 1961, France and Brazil came to blows over the shellfish. French fishermen were 100 miles off the Brazilian coast, catching lobster. Brazil said that was still on their continental shelf and therefore they were their lobsters. Each side took the issue to their respective governments. Brazil sent six patrol boats to aid the fisherman which really ticked off French President Charles de Gaulle, who sent a French destroyer to help his own countrymen.

The Brazilians outnumbered the French, and so the French retreated. Brazil told them to leave within 48 hours. They refused, so one French ship was taken hostage. 

No guns were fired, but the dispute continued for three entire years. Diplomacy won out, and the countries went to an international court. The government of Brazil extended their waters to 200 miles, so there would be no further issue. 

8. Molossia vs East Germany

If you head to Dayton, Nevada, you may run across a patch of land that’s just a bit over an acre in size. This is the Republic of Molossia, a country that isn’t actually a real place, but the man who runs it definitely knows how to commit to a bit.

Considered an unrecognized micronation, Molossia was founded by Kevin Baugh, former sergeant first class in the US Army. His country started all the way back in 1977 when it was the Grand Republic of Vuldstein. Baugh does pay property taxes and, like any nation, it has had political strife. They’ve been at war with East Germany since 1983. 

You may recall that East Germany isn’t even a country anymore, but that hasn’t slowed Baugh down because when it was a country, he was stationed in West Germany. East German military exercises woke him up in the night and so he vowed to wage war on that injustice. Even when the country stopped existing, he pointed out that Ernst Thälmann Island was not named in the dissolution of East Germany and, therefore, he’s still at war with them.

If the whole thing sounds like a joke, then don’t worry. Baugh is well aware of the goofiness and is just having fun. But to stick to a joke since 1983 is pretty impressive. 

7. The Huéscar War

Most people are likely not familiar with Huéscar because it’s not a great nation with a long history. That’s because it’s not a nation at all, it’s a town in Spain. In 2021, it had a population of just over 7,000. So the fact that Huéscar went to war with Denmark seems like a bit of an unbalanced battle. And that doesn’t take into account the fact that, when the war officially ended in 1981, it had been going for 172 years.

The war dates back to the Napoleonic Wars in 1809. At that time, Denmark supported France in their war against Spain. Napoleon lost and in 1814 the Treaty of Paris was signed, ending the war between all combatants. All but one.

Back in 1809, the town of Huéscar decided to also formally declare war on Denmark alongside their countrymen. It was a needless declaration since Spain as a whole was involved, but local politicians can sometimes have bigger, weirder aspirations than their station normally allows. They never actually engaged in war because the town had a total of 8 municipal guards. The declaration was all but forgotten until 1981, when it was rediscovered.

The town had to decide what to do with their still open war against Denmark, alive and strong despite generations of people not knowing about it. They agreed that ending the war was the right thing to do and no doubt the people of Denmark slept a little easier that night. 

6. The Kettle War

It’s hard to call any war a good war, but there are things you may want to see in a war if you have the option. Low casualties are obviously the greatest outcome and if a war can somehow take place with no one dying, then all the better. The Kettle War was one such war. A single shot was fired and the only victim was a soup kettle. 

The not-quite battle took place between the Holy Roman Empire, here represented by the Spanish Netherlands, and then the Republic of the Seven Netherlands. The Seven Netherlands in the north had control of the Scheldt River. In 1784, the Holy Roman Emperor decided that it was time to reopen the river to trade and sent three ships to the northern nation. The Dutch responded with one. 

The Dutch vessel fired a single shot when they met. It hit the kettle on the Le Louis and the captain surrendered right away. The Le Louis was far better appointed for war than the Dutch vessel, so the surrender was unusual. 

The Emperor declared war soon after, but a series of floods on land made the entire incident a fast one with the Dutch capitulating and a compromise being reached. 

5. The Emu War

In a typical war, you have two or more sides in a dispute over land, religion, trade, or a host of other issues. But almost always the participants are human. Not so in the Great Emu War, which wasn’t named in any poetic or metaphorical war. It was a war on emus. 

After the First World War, the Australian government began giving out plots of land to their veterans. Thousands of acres were provided as farmland because Australia has a lot of room to spare. But it was technically not uninhabited. The emus were there. And they were causing a ruckus.They destroyed crops and they were big enough that they could literally knock over fences by running at them. 

By 1932, there was a bounty placed on the birds.The farmers couldn’t handle them all, so the military was called in. They managed to corner 1000 of them and the gun they were going to use to kill them jammed. They took out maybe 10. After several days of trying and 2500 rounds of ammo, they’d killed 200. The final tally was about 10 bullets wasted per emu shot. 

By 1934, the government had provided ammo to the farmers and, sadly, the emus didn’t fare well. Nearly 60,000 died, but the species persevered and now is a protected species.

4. The Anglo-Zanzibar War

The war in Afghanistan lasted nearly 20 years. It was by no means the longest war ever, but it was America’s longest war. There’s not really a time period for any given war, of course, but typically they last a while. At least a few days, right?  The Anglo-Zanzibar War lasted 38 minutes. 

Two days before the war, the Sultan of Zanzibar had died. The replacement sultan had not been approved by Britain, which was supposed to happen according to the official rules governing Zanzibar as a British protectorate. So Britain told the new sultan he had to go. In response, he locked himself in the palace. 

The British had several naval vessels, including warships. The sultan was ordered to stand down by 9:00 in the morning but he refused. By 9:02, his artillery was destroyed, and the palace was collapsing. Word is the sultan fled at the same time and by 9:40, his forces surrendered, ending the war.

3. The Bucket War

Numerous countries have experienced civil wars over the years and they’re typically over land or ideologies, but not always. For instance, in 1325, the Italian city-states of Modena and Bologna devolved into a war over a bucket.

The story goes that soldiers from Modena snagged a bucket from a well in Bologna. This prompted the Bolognese people to send their army to retrieve it. This, in turn, led to 30,000 Guelph foot soldiers on behalf of the Pope coming to the aid of Bologna, while 5,000 Ghibellines on behalf of the Holy Roman Emperor joined the cause for Modena. 

Over 2,000 soldiers died and by some accounts the bucket was nothing more than a colorful story to distract from much greater causes, including Modena taking a Bolognese castle. But even in that version, they still stole a bucket. 

2. The Stray Dog War

In 1925, Bulgaria and Greece proved that just about any pretence for war could be used if one nation was dedicated enough. In this case, it was fought over a stray dog. Of course, as we said, that was just some pretence and there were bigger issues at play, including a dispute over claims to Western Thrace. Many soldiers had died on both sides over the years.

In October 1925 a soldier stationed near the border between Greece and Bulgaria lost control of a dog. The dog ran towards Bulgaria.The soldier ran after and when he got too close the Bulgarians shot him. 

Greek general Pangalos was not about to let this stand. He threatened Bulgaria if they didn’t make amends, but they refused. Greece invaded and took possession of a town until the League of Nations ordered them out and ordered Greece to pay for the damage they had caused.

1. The Great Goat War

We already saw how Australia went to war against emus, but at least the emus had a fighting chance in that skirmish. Not so for the goats of the Galapagos Islands, which had $10 million in UN funding, two helicopters, 100 hunters and 500,000 rounds of ammunition after them. But hey, the goats lasted nearly 10 years after war was declared, so that’s something.

Feral goats were introduced to the Galapagos in the 1700s. A few goats turned into 120,000 goats by the 2000s and they were destroying the island, including the habitat of the native tortoises. They were very directly responsible for the near extinction of the tortoises. So they had to go. This also resulted in a serious loss of food and income for locals, but alas, no one was fighting back for the goats.