Medieval Europe was a violent place where ruthless kings ruled with iron fists. Assassinations were an easy way of removing a tyrant or political enemy, and they were often carried out with shocking brutality. Some of them were also fiendishly clever.

10Duke Conan II Of Brittany

In 1065, William of Normandy was preparing to invade England. To secure his borders, he proposed alliances with the surrounding lords. However, Duke Conan II of Brittany hated the Normans because he believed they had poisoned his father. Conan refused to ally with William and strongly implied that he would attack Normandy as soon as the army left for England.

This turned out to be a bit of a mistake since William quickly had Conan poisoned as well. According to Orderic Vitalis, William had to be clever about it since the Breton would obviously have been careful to avoid the same fate as his father. So instead of targeting Conan’s food, William’s assassin smeared poison on Conan’s riding gloves. While out riding, Conan wiped his mouth with the back of one glove and soon suffered a fit and died.

9Kenneth II Of Scotland

Kenneth II was assassinated in AD 995. The death is primarily notable for the absolutely insane story of the booby trap that did it. According to John of Fordun, the princes Constantine and Gryme persuaded a noblewoman named Finnguala to do the deed. Since Kenneth had killed her son, she was happy to oblige.

Finnguala rigged up her house with multiple crossbows hidden behind tapestries. The crossbows were connected by strings to a statue in the middle of the room. Finnguala then invited the king to inspect the statue. As soon as he touched it, the crossbows went off, firing a dozen arrows through him at once.

We can say for sure that Kenneth was killed in AD 995 and that Constantine and Gryme were blamed. However, most historians are skeptical of a crazy crossbow statue as the murder weapon.

8Louis, Duke Of Orleans

Charles VI of France was insane. (Among other things, he believed that he was made of glass and might shatter at any moment.) This prompted his nobles to struggle among themselves for power.

The immediate winner was the king’s brother, Louis of Orleans, who seduced the queen and effectively became regent. Louis was opposed by John the Fearless of Burgundy, who even tried to kidnap the king’s son. In response, Louis may have tried to rape John’s wife.

Things came to a head on November 23, 1407. Louis was leaving the queen’s house in Paris when he was attacked by a gang of eight hooded men. An eyewitness said that they struck Louis repeatedly “as if they were beating a mattress” until his brains were all over the road. John didn’t even try to deny ordering the murder, insisting that it was “for the good of the realm.”

7John The Fearless

The murder of Louis of Orleans sparked a civil war between his Armagnac supporters and John the Fearless of Burgundy. This was the last thing France needed because it was the middle of the Hundred Years War and the English were invading.

In 1419, the two sides agreed to meet to resolve their differences in a special enclosure in the middle of the Montereau Bridge. However, as soon as John the Fearless arrived, three old friends of Louis of Orleans pulled out swords and killed him in revenge.

Although the Armagnacs insisted that the murder was not premeditated, John’s son Philip allied with the English, changing the tide of the war. It was later joked that the English entered France through the hole in John’s skull.

6Peter The Inquisitor

In the 13th century, the Catholic Church was campaigning against the Cathars, a heretical sect that believed in two gods, one good and one evil. The Albigensian Crusade had devastated the Cathar stronghold in southern France, while the Inquisition was established to hunt them throughout Europe.

One of the best inquisitors was Peter of Verona, who was known for his humble lifestyle and was unusually successful at persuading Cathars to rejoin Catholicism. As a result, the Cathar underground in Milan gathered funds and hired a pair of hit men. The killers tracked Peter to a lonely spot on the road, where they jumped him and put an axe through his head.

Peter was immediately declared a saint, and Pope Innocent IV released a bull allowing Inquisitors to use torture for the first time. Interestingly, one of the hit men, Carino of Balsamo, later repented and is now considered something of a holy man.

5Philip De Montfort

Philip de Montfort had an interesting family history. His father and uncle were leaders of the Albigensian Crusade, while his cousin Simon was the lover of Queen Isabella of England. The couple eventually overthrew and murdered Isabella’s husband, Edward II.

Philip was Crusader Lord of Tyre. His talented leadership alarmed the Egyptian Sultan Baibars, who asked the notorious Hashishin (“Assassins”) to take care of the problem.

A Syrian Assassin was sent to Tyre, where he successfully disguised himself as a Christian and prayed daily at Philip’s church. Once the Assassin was a familiar face, he wandered up behind Philip while he was kneeling at prayer and stabbed him in the back. Baibars attacked the Crusader states a few months later.

4Godfred Of Denmark

Godfred was king of Denmark around AD 800 when the famous Frankish Emperor Charlemagne dominated Europe. Charlemagne had conquered the pagan Saxons and forcibly converted them to Christianity, which was quite alarming to the pagan Godfred. In anticipation of a confrontation, he greatly expanded the Danevirke, a mighty series of earthen fortifications in southern Denmark.

When the Baltic city of Reric allied with Charlemagne, Godfred attacked and destroyed it. In 810, his fleets ravaged Frisia and Godfred began to talk of reconquering Saxony. According to Frankish chroniclers, Godfred boasted that he would stable his horses in Charlemagne’s palace. Furious, the emperor began building a fleet of his own.

It seemed that everything was set for a huge war between the Franks and Vikings until Godfred was suddenly stabbed to death by one of his own warriors. Many historians have suggested that the murder was ordered by Charlemagne, who presumably found assassins cheaper than fleets.

3Godfred Of Frisia

Murdering Danes named Godfred seemed to run in the family because Charlemagne’s grandson Charles the Fat did the same thing. Charles had named a Viking called Godfred as the Duke of Frisia. In return, Godfred agreed to stop raiding Frankish lands and to keep other Vikings from doing the same.

Unfortunately, Godfred got greedy. Frisia was poor land, so Godfred demanded that Charles give him some rich, wine-producing areas along the Rhine. This attempt at extortion seriously annoyed the Franks. They invited Godfred to discuss the issue on an island in the Rhine. To Godfred’s surprise, the previously meek Franks showed up armed to the teeth and hacked him to death.

2Harthacnut

It’s often forgotten now, but the Norman invasion of William the Conqueror was actually the second time that England had been conquered in 50 years. Cnut (aka Canute) of Denmark made himself king of England in 1018. After his death, the throne eventually passed to his son Harthacnut.

Edward the Confessor was the son of the overthrown Anglo-Saxon king of England. Thanks to some complicated family politics, he was also Harthacnut’s half-brother. (They shared a mother.) If Harthacnut died, Edward was in line for the throne. As luck would have it, Harthacnut did die after suffering a mysterious fit at a banquet at age 25.

So what’s suspicious about that? Well, after Edward took the throne, the rebellious Earl Godwin of Wessex also died after suffering a mysterious fit while eating dinner with the king. Meanwhile, Edward’s half-brother dropped dead days after returning to England from exile in Kiev. Which starts to seem a little suspicious, really.

1Pedro The Cruel

Pedro the Cruel was not a nice guy. As king of Castile, he was accused of numerous crimes. This included the murder of his brother Fadrique, who was dining with Pedro when a guard walked up behind Fadrique and hit him with a mace. When Pedro noticed that Fadrique was still moving, Pedro gave a knife to a page to finish the job while Pedro continued eating.

Fadrique’s twin, Enrique, soon rose in revolt and besieged Pedro in his castle. Enrique was supported by the famous French knight Bertrand du Guesclin. Bertrand had a reputation as a bit of a weasel, so Pedro offered him a bribe to help him escape. Since Bertrand was actually a huge weasel, he accepted and then informed Enrique, who agreed to match the bribe if Bertrand handed Pedro over.

On March 23, 1369, Bertrand helped Pedro sneak out of the castle and led him to a tent. To Pedro’s surprise, Enrique was waiting for him. The Spanish princes immediately started throwing insults, calling each other “son of a whore” and “son of a Jew.” Then they started wrestling. Pedro was winning until someone pulled him off and sat on him while Enrique stabbed him in the stomach.

We tend to think of the Middle Ages as a lawless time when desperate outlaws roamed the land. While that’s not totally fair, it is true that law and order often broke down. This allowed daring rogues to run wild, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.

10Seguin de Badefol

Seguin de Badefol first appears in history as a mercenary for John II of France. After John was defeated by the Black Prince at Poitiers, France, England signed a peace treaty and the mercenaries were dismissed.

Instead of disbanding, the various mercenary companies simply transitioned to banditry, raiding and pillaging across France. De Badefol led the Margot, one of the largest bands, which could field up to 2,000 men. His favorite trick was occupying a town and demanding that the citizens pay him to leave.

In 1362, France sent an army to deal with the mercenaries, but Seguin united the various bands into the “Great Company” and shattered the royal force at the Battle of Brignais. It was a stunning victory, leaving eastern France completely at the mercy of the bandits.

Seguin died four years later from eating a poisoned quince while trying to extort some cash from ruthless maniac Charles “the Bad” of Navarre.

9Geoffrey Of Mandeville

After Henry I died without a son, the throne was claimed by the Empress Matilda (who was Henry’s daughter and rightful heir) and Stephen of Blois. Law and order broke down as England plunged into a civil war known as the Anarchy.

Perhaps the most notorious outlaw of the period was Geoffrey of Mandeville, a nobleman from East Anglia. Stephen made him Earl of Essex in return for his support, but Geoffrey betrayed Stephen and defected to Matilda, who gave him virtually unlimited control of Essex. Then Geoffrey defected back to Stephen in return for power over Middlesex and Hertfordshire.

In 1143, Stephen felt powerful enough to move against Geoffrey, but he escaped into the marshes of East Anglia. With a base on the Isle of Ely, Geoffrey became an outlaw, raiding and burning his way through the fens. He was killed by an arrow during a minor skirmish in 1144.

8Robert Fitz Hubert

During the Anarchy, Stephen shored up his position by hiring sellswords from Flanders, who soon developed an evil reputation. Arguably the worst was the practically feral Robert fitz Hubert.

Robert arrived in England in 1139. But instead of taking service with Stephen, Robert immediately attacked Malmesbury Castle and took it for himself. Stephen forced him out a few weeks later, at which point Robert hired his band out to Matilda.

He lasted a few months before sneaking away from Matilda’s army and taking Devizes Castle in a surprise night attack. He summoned more knights from Flanders and began to ravage the land in a determined effort to carve out a petty kingdom between Winchester and London.

This wild plan was only foiled by the cunning of John the Marshal, who offered to surrender his castle and then slammed the gate shut behind Robert when he arrived to negotiate. Robert was subsequently hanged.

7Eustace The Monk

At the height of his career, Eustace the Monk was so feared that he was rumored to be a sorcerer. A former monk, he was declared an outlaw and fled to the English Channel, where he became the most notorious pirate of his day.

Eustace was a formidable sea captain, and King John of England hired his powerful fleet to capture the Channel Islands from the French. Eustace subsequently used the island of Sark as a base to ravage the Norman coast and stage daring raids down the Seine.

In 1212, Eustace defected to the French. His pirates were sailing with a large French fleet when they came under attack from an English armada in 1217. The English triumphed by throwing quicklime onto the enemy ships, blinding the crew. Eustace was found hiding in the bilge and beheaded as “a traitor to the king and a most wicked pirate.”

6Owain Red Hand

Owain Lawgoch (“Red Hand”) was the last male-line descendant of the old Welsh kings of Gwynedd and one of the finest warriors of the 14th century. He was determined to regain his rightful throne and even launched two invasions, causing panic in England. However, his first fleet was prevented from landing by storms, while the second force was diverted to aid the king of France.

When not invading Wales, Owain fought for the French in the Hundred Years War and commanded a company of Welsh mercenaries against Pedro the Cruel of Castile. In 1375, Owain led the Guglers, a massive army of mercenaries that invaded Switzerland, only to be ambushed in a night attack by the enraged Swiss citizens.

Owain was assassinated in 1378 by an undercover agent of the English.

5Roger de Flor

Originally a member of the Knights Templar, Roger de Flor was drummed out of the order after his disgraceful conduct at the Siege of Acre, where he took control of a Templar galley and charged huge fees to carry civilians to safety in Cyprus.

After a spell as a pirate, Roger saw a chance to secure his fortunes. The king of Aragon had dismissed many of his soldiers after signing a peace treaty in 1302. Many of the newly unemployed Catalans had been fighting for two decades and had no other marketable skills. Roger recruited 6,000 into a mercenary band known as the Catalan Company and signed a lucrative contract with the Byzantines.

The Catalans were mildly successful against the Turks, but they also looted Byzantine land and openly fought rival Byzantine soldiers. To make matters worse, Roger was clearly plotting to carve out his own kingdom in Anatolia. Declaring him a bandit, the Byzantines murdered him in 1305.

4The Catalan Company

After the murder of Roger de Flor, the Byzantines sent an army to wipe out his mercenaries. Although the Catalans were outnumbered, they were also hardened veterans and defeated the Imperial Army at Apros in 1305.

After a fairly pathetic attempt to blockade Constantinople, the Company crossed into Greece, where the Duke of Athens realized they were a threat. Cunningly, he offered to hire the Catalans.

They conquered large territories of Greece for him until they realized that their money was never coming. Meanwhile, the duke was trying to split the Company by offering full pay and land to 500 of the Catalans if they would help him defeat the others.

The 500 Catalans declined to betray their comrades but sensibly took the bribe first. Then they pulled off another underdog victory over the duke’s larger army and established their own petty kingdom in Greece, which lasted for the next 80 years.

3Adam The Leper

In the mid-14th century, England experienced something of an urban crime wave. Even the Black Prince once sent his servants out to buy food, only for them to return beaten and robbed. The most notorious gang leader was Adam the Leper, who often targeted royal officials.

In his most famous crime, Adam learned that Queen Philippa had left her jewelry with a local merchant. The leper’s gang surrounded the merchant’s house and demanded that he hand over the gems.

The outraged merchant refused and stoutly beat off several attacks until Adam became exasperated and set the building on fire. Now the tables were turned, with the merchant and his family trying to get out and Adam keeping them in until they tossed out the jewels. The leper was apparently never punished for this daring attack.

2Momcilo

Hajduk Momcilo was a Bulgarian bandit who built a personal army of peasants in the Rhodope Mountains. He briefly served Stefan Dusan of Serbia but really came into his own during the Byzantine Civil War of 1341–1347.

In an impressive display of backstabbing, Momcilo switched sides in 1343, 1344, and 1345. By playing both sides, he was able to establish his own power in the borderlands.

Momcilo eventually became such a threat that the Byzantines teamed up with the Turks to launch a joint attack on his city of Peritheorion. Sensing which way the wind was blowing, the citizens locked Momcilo’s army outside the gates, where he was defeated and killed.

1The Archpriest

Arnaud de Cervole was Archpriest of Velines until he found that a career as a mercenary was more to his liking. (He kept “the Archpriest” as a nickname.) After the Battle of Poitiers, Arnaud was the first to realize that the French crown was no longer strong enough to hold the mercenaries in check.

He formed the first “Great Company” and led it into Provence, which had avoided serious damage in the war. Before long, the mercenaries had turned it into a wasteland. Arnaud even besieged Marseille with 3,000 men, although the city held out.

In 1358, the Archpriest ensured his infamy by essentially taking the Pope hostage, surrounding the Papal seat in Avignon, and demanding 20,000 florins to leave the region. After that, Arnaud largely went back to legitimate mercenary work and was part of the royal army defeated by Seguin de Badefol’s raiders at the Battle of Brignais.

In 1365, Arnaud was hired to lead the mercenaries in a crusade against the Turks, although the real goal was to get them out of France. He was stabbed to death months later in an argument over supplies.

Medieval Europe was theoretically pretty conservative on sex. One 13th-century bishop even put out a list ranking the five known sexual positions from least to most sinful. (If you’re curious: missionary, side-by-side, sitting, standing, and “dorsal.”) But just like any other era, the medieval period still had its share of sex scandals.

10Abelard And Heloise

In the early 12th century, Peter Abelard was the most famous philosopher in Europe. Huge crowds turned out to hear him speak, while students paid him handsomely to act as their tutor. He courted scandal when he started sleeping with one of his students, the beautiful and brilliant Heloise.

Heloise was the niece of Fulbert, canon of Notre Dame and Abelard’s landlord, who was enraged when he discovered the illicit affair. Fulbert demanded that the couple get married. Neither was keen, but they agreed so long as the marriage was kept secret. But after Heloise gave birth to a son named Astrolabe, Fulbert revealed the marriage—only for Heloise to publicly deny it. Fulbert was furious.

Abelard sent Heloise to safety in a nunnery, which only annoyed Fulbert more. In 1117, a group of men burst into Abelard’s bedroom and brutally castrated him. He survived to become a monk and remained in contact with Heloise.

9Katherina Hetzeldorfer

In the late 1400s, an unmarried young man moved to the city of Speyer in Germany. He soon developed a reputation as a real rogue, conducting several affairs and groping women during the carnival. Nobody cared until 1477, when it was revealed that the philandering youth was actually a woman named Katherina Hetzeldorfer.

According to the trial records, Katherina had built herself a prosthetic penis “half as big as an arm . . . with a red piece of leather, at the front filled with cotton, and a wooden stick stuck into it.” She used this to have sex with several women, all of whom insisted at trial that they had no idea it wasn’t real. Katherine’s one-night-stand Else Muter even claimed that it somehow produced “semen . . . beyond measure.”

Katherina was drowned in the local river. The court accepted that her lovers had been hoodwinked, and they were sentenced to exile rather than death.

8The Swedish King And His Sister-In-Law

Princess Jutta was the daughter of King Eric IV of Denmark. As a young woman, she was placed in a cloister, where she was expected to live out the rest of her life as a nun. Instead, she staged a daring escape to Sweden.

Jutta was welcomed by her sister Sophia, who was married to King Valdemar of Sweden. Unfortunately, Valdemar started a passionate affair with the beautiful Jutta. They even had a child together. Soon, all Sweden was in an uproar with rumors that the king was cheating on his wife with her own sister.

Valdemar eventually had to make a pilgrimage to Rome to beg the Pope for forgiveness. It wasn’t the PR triumph he had hoped since the Pope imposed a hefty fine. The Swedes were furious that they had to cough up extra taxes for this, and Valdemar was quickly overthrown by his brothers.

7The Naughty Nuns Of Littlemore

In 1517, the local bishop decided to inspect Littlemore Priory in Oxfordshire, England, and uncovered the scandalous behavior of the nuns living there. Apparently, the sisters “romped and played with boys in the cloister.”

Even the prioress had an illegitimate daughter by a priest from Kent. To make matters worse, she had stolen church property to give her daughter a dowry, selling off the nunnery’s “candilsticks, basynes, shetts, pelous, federe bedds, etc.”

The nuns weren’t particularly repentant. In fact, when one was put in the stocks as punishment, three others broke down the door and freed her. The four nuns then set fire to the stocks and smashed their way out through a window.

Such immoral behavior couldn’t be tolerated, and the nunnery was eventually shut down on the orders of Cardinal Wolsey.

6The Pervy Pope

John XII became Pope when he was just 18, entirely thanks to his powerful family. The teenager rapidly proved himself more interested in sex than religion, to the point that his official palace came to resemble a brothel. It was said that local monks actually stopped praying for his health and started praying for him to die.

Before long, the scandal had spread across Europe. The Holy Roman Emperor wrote to warn that “not just a few, but all . . . have accused you of homicide, perjury, sacrilege, [and] incest with some of your female relatives and two sisters.”

John died in AD 964, apparently while making love to a woman named Stefanetta. Some accounts say that he had a stroke from the exertion, while others say that Stefanetta’s jealous husband burst into the room and threw the Pope out the window.

5William The Conqueror

These days, William I of England is best known as William the Conqueror. But in his own lifetime, he was often derisively referred to as “William the Bastard” or “William the Tanner.” That’s because he was born from a teenage tryst between Duke Robert of Normandy and a tanner’s daughter from Falaise.

Since Robert never had other sons, William was legitimized, but the scandal of his birth continued to haunt him. When he besieged Alencon, the citizens dangled animal skins from the walls and shouted, “Hides, hides for the tanner! Plenty of work for the tanner!” An enraged William fired a bunch of their severed hands from a catapult.

William’s descendants had more of a sense of humor about the whole thing. Henry II was stitching a torn glove when a bishop shouted that he looked just like his relatives in Falaise, prompting Henry to “burst unto uncontrollable laughter.”

4The Demon-Kings Of England

Henry II had an even more disconcerting story in his ancestry. While his mother was William the Conqueror’s granddaughter, his father was Geoffrey Plantagenet, Count of Anjou. The family had a reputation for cruelty, and it was said that they were descended from a demon.

According to the story, one of the early counts married the mysterious beauty Melusine but noticed that she always slipped out of church before the Eucharist. One day, he stood on her cloak to prevent her from leaving. As soon as the priest raised the Host, Melusine screamed, sprouted wings, and flew out the window, leaving behind two of her demon babies.

Of course, nobody buys that story nowadays, but the Plantagenets loved it. Both Henry and Richard the Lionheart often joked about being half-demon. Meanwhile, Bernard of Clairvaux summed up popular opinion of the family by declaring “from the Devil they came and to the Devil they will return.”

3The King, His Son, His Wife, And Her Brother

A more realistic scandal involved Henry, his son Richard the Lionheart, and Princess Alys of France. Alys and Richard had been betrothed as children, and Alys was sent to live with Henry when she was nine. But even when Alys passed the age of 16, Henry declined to actually let Richard marry her. Soon, sensational rumors leaked out that Henry had taken her for his own mistress.

The Pope threatened to excommunicate Henry’s whole kingdom unless he let Richard and Alys wed. King Louis of France demanded either a marriage or his daughter back. Henry begrudgingly agreed but didn’t name a date and continued to drag his feet for the next decade.

To make things even messier, some historians have suggested that Richard was having sex with Alys’s brother Phillip. In any case, Richard refused to marry Alys after his father died, alleging that she had already given birth to his half-brother.

2Heretical Spooning

In the late medieval period, the Church became increasingly worried about heretics, who were encouraged to admit to all sorts of disturbing sex acts on top of their religious crimes. In a famous case, a German heretic named Lepzet confessed that his sect met in a cave, where their bishop would insert the handle of a silver spoon into his anus and use it to hold an offering.

Then the congregation would kiss the bishop’s buttocks and a cat’s rectum before having an orgy—“men with men and women with women.” The confession was considered extremely shocking, although some killjoy historians suggest that Lepzet was probably making the whole thing up.

1Machiavelli, Da Vinci, And The Holes Of Truth

In the 1400s, the rulers of Florence placed several boxes known as “holes of truth” around the city. Citizens could write anonymous accusations and place them in the boxes to be investigated by the authorities.

It was a recipe for innuendo and rumormongering. Even Niccolo Machiavelli had to deny sodomizing a local courtesan known as La Riccia. He was presumably lying since he mentioned in a letter that La Riccia jokingly called him her “house pest” because he visited so often.

But the biggest scandal came in 1476 when multiple notes were left accusing Leonardo da Vinci and three other local notables of regularly having sex with a 17-year-old named Jacopo Saltarelli.

Soon all Florence was abuzz, and the artist found himself hauled in for questioning by the Officers of the Night, who weren’t nearly as cool as their name suggests. Fortunately, the charges were eventually dropped without damaging Leonardo’s career too much.

The European Middle Ages lasted a thousand years, running roughly from AD 500 to AD 1500. A lot of history took place during this time, but textbooks often fail to reconnect the living with the past as much as artifacts do.

Some items prove that certain things never change—people cheated at games, carried deadly weapons, and were addicted to cheese. Medieval artifacts also preserved the era’s weirder moments, like the three-person toilet and the nun who escaped her convent by faking her own death.

10 Medieval Peasant Diet

When it comes to medieval munchies, the diets of the English nobility are well-known. The menu of the peasantry, however, was so poorly recorded that researchers were not sure what people ate. Their mainstay was probably pottages and stews, but there was no direct evidence to prove this.

In 2019, 73 cooking pots underwent chemical analysis to test for food residues. The 500-year-old vessels came from a medieval village called West Cotton. Fat showed up in many of the jars, confirming that ceramics were important in the medieval kitchen and that peasants did rely on stews and pottages as a staple.

Ingredients included meat like mutton and beef. There were also traces of leafy vegetables such as cabbage and leek. The meat-cabbage stew was an important find. Nothing similar had shown up in elite kitchens.

Although the greatest surprise was a lack of fish, the vessels did betray the villagers’ love of dairy. Almost a quarter of all the pots were used for milk-derived products. When this new information was consolidated with animal remains at West Cotton, scientists were able to compile a “cookbook,” which described meals, butchery and preparation techniques, and the disposal of scraps.^[1]

9 The Aberdeenshire Game Board

The oldest Scottish manuscript is believed to be the Book of Deer. Written by monks during the 10th century, the illuminated book contains the earliest Gaelic writing from Scotland. Archaeologists have been looking for the authors’ monastery since 2008. It was fittingly called the Monastery of Deer and was located somewhere in Aberdeenshire.

In 2018, a team were excavating newly discovered ruins when they found a gaming board. In itself, the artifact was a scarce find. It was shaped from stone to resemble a disk, and its motifs suggested that it was used to play a range of games popular in medieval Ireland and Scandinavia.

What got archaeologists excited were the layers beneath the artifact. They dated to the seventh and eighth centuries, the same as pieces of charcoal found at the site. This proved that at least some of the ruins were in use—with people playing a game—during that time.^[2]

8 The Missing Nun

In recent times, historians riffled through the Registers of the Archbishops of York. The tomes recorded the dealings of archbishops from 1304 to 1405. A new project aimed to create an online version of the registers, and during the process, researchers encountered a letter.

Dated 1318, it was written by Archbishop William Melton who recounted a “scandalous rumor” he had been told. Apparently, a nun named Joan had escaped her convent. Not only did she run, but she tried to fake her own death. Apparently, she created a body double to take her place at a funeral.

Since people were buried in shrouds back then, Joan might have stuffed a shroud and shaped it like a corpse. The reason for her escape was given as “carnal lust,” which could have been anything from a desire to live in the outside world to wanting to get married.

The letter was addressed to the Dean of Beverley, who was stationed in Yorkshire about 64 kilometers (40 mi) away from York. The dean was asked to find and return the wayward nun to her convent in York. Thus far, there is no clue about whether Joan managed to dodge the dean.^[3]

7 The Sewer Sword

Early in 2019, engineers and construction workers toiled within a sewer. The idea was to install pipes in the city of Aalborg, Denmark. Instead, workers found a double-edged sword. The artifact was taken to archaeologists, who inspected the 1.1-meter-long (3.6 ft) weapon.

The verdict was a happy one. Not only was it found in an unusual place, but it also likely belonged to an elite soldier. During the 1300s from whence it came, only the nobility could afford to commission these expensive weapons.

The odd place it was discovered had nothing to do with the sewer. It was found on some of Aalborg’s oldest pavement. The sword, which was still sharp and deadly, showed signs of at least three battles. This suggested that it might have been forged centuries before ending up on the pavement.

Its exact age has not been agreed upon—only that an elite warrior owned it in the 1300s. Aalborg saw its fair share of storming hordes, and the weapon was probably lost when its owner attacked or defended the city.^[4]

6 The Bergen Dice

In 2018, archaeologists explored Bergen in Norway. While excavating in the Vagsbunnen district, they found a wooden cube next to a street from the Middle Ages. Since each side of the cube had dots, the block was quickly identified as a dice (aka die).

Bergen had already produced over 30 dice from medieval times, so nobody was stunned—at first. Before long, it became clear that the dice was abnormal. The 600-year-old artifact lacked the sides for 1 and 2. There were sides with 3 to 6 dots, but in the place of the missing numbers were an extra 4 and 5.

The area once hosted many pubs and inns, and their clientele probably enjoyed gambling. In a game of chance, this dice would have given its owner an unfair advantage. Alternatively, it could have been thrown during a game that never used 1 and 2. However, archaeologists are almost certain that somebody crafted the cube to help them cheat.^[5]

5 A Lewis Warder

In 1831, the pieces of four medieval chess sets were found on the Isle of Lewis in Scotland. Carved from walrus tusk, the collection became known as the “Lewis hoard.” The tiny figures’ clothing and gestures offered researchers valuable glimpses into medieval society, but there was something else that would have made them even happier.

The chess sets are not complete. Five pieces had never been found. In 1964, an antique business purchased a small statue. The owner described the acquisition in his records as an “antique walrus tusk warrior chessman.” He ought to have known. However, the piece was passed down in the Edinburgh family for 55 years and recently brought to the auction house Sotheby’s for appraisal.

It was positively identified as one of the missing Lewis artifacts. It was a warder, which in modern chess would be a rook or castle. The figure wore a frown, brandished a sword, and, for some reason, was darker than the rest of the Lewis pieces. Incredibly, the antique dealer bought it for £5 but the real worth is almost £1 million ($1.3 million).^[6]

4 Three-Person Toilet

One might not consider a toilet rare, but one 12th-century example fits the bill. Around 900 years ago, somebody took an axe and hacked three holes into a large oak plank. This three-person toilet seat was then positioned over a cesspit near the Thames. Back in the day, it stood behind—and probably served—a building that was located at the modern-day Ludgate Hill.

Researchers managed to track down some of the names of the people who lived and worked at the building, which contained a mixture of homes and businesses. Among the names were Cassandra de Flete and her husband, John, a capmaker.

The building itself was called Helle when the loo was in use. Adventurous scientists decided to sit on the seat, which was discovered in the 1980s. Although they found the axe-hewn holes comfortable, personal space was an issue. The holes were close together, and three people using the facilities would have sat shoulder to shoulder.^[7]

3 Lost Govan Stones

Between the 10th and 11th centuries, gravestones were carved in the Kingdom of Strathclyde. The latter was one of several powers that fought to gain control over the British Isles when Scotland did not yet exist.

The stones were large and beautifully decorated. In the 19th century, 46 were unearthed in Glasgow and became known as the Govan Stones. Eventually, 31 were relocated to the Govan Old Parish Church. This included a stone-carved sarcophagus that was said to have held the remains of a saint-king called Constantine.

The rest were displayed for years against a churchyard wall but vanished when a nearby shipyard was demolished. For over 40 years, historians feared the valuable stones had been destroyed.^[8]

In 2019, an archaeological dig brought experts and volunteers together to search for the missing gravestones. A 14-year-old schoolboy struck gold. While digging near the Govan Parish Church, he found a Govan Stone. This led to a more intensive search, and two more were found. The discovery offers some hope that the rest of the missing sculptures will surface in the future.

2 Traveling Book Coffer

These days, bookworms can carry a library on their phones. Since medieval readers did not have the luxury of .pdf files, travelers often used a book coffer. Today, only about 100 of these rare artifacts remain.

In 2019, Oxford’s Bodleian Libraries acquired one from a private buyer. The case came from France and had been constructed of wood and leather during the 1400s. It also had metal clasps and hand straps for carrying.

The box was exceptionally valuable for two reasons. Most surviving book coffers date from the 1500s, which makes this one of the oldest ever found. The most exciting find was a woodcut attached to the inside of the lid. It was a piece called “God the Father in Majesty,” a draft that originated from a liturgical book in Paris.

The Bodleian suspect that the print was used as spiritual protection for the coffer’s content. Overall, the woodcut was incredibly rare. Not only was it found in its original context and dated to Europe’s earliest attempts at printing, but only four of its type are known to exist.^[9]

1 Royal Marriage Bed

Almost a decade ago, an antique dealer bought a bed online. Ian Coulson from England liked the catalog’s description of a “profusely carved Victorian four-poster bed with armorial shields.” After Coulson brought it home, he realized the description was inaccurate. Luckily, he had not been fleeced.

Instead, the dealer had stumbled upon what could be the most important furniture in England. Moreover, the most important royal artifact—the “armorial shields”—was the English royal coat of arms.

Along with Coulson, several experts believe that the bed is not Victorian at all. The timber was worked with hand tools, which placed it in a medieval workshop and not the mechanized factories of the industrialized Victorians. The bed also had traces of ultramarine, a medieval pigment more expensive than gold. This proved the bed belonged to a high-status couple sometime during the 15th century.^[10]

Since the bed’s carvings included the roses of the houses of York and Lancashire, the couple was likely King Henry VII and Elizabeth of York. Their bed was commissioned before the wedding, and it vanished during the English Civil War when parliamentarians destroyed all royal furnishings.

From Columbus to Magellan, the famous travelers of the Age of Exploration have become household names. Before that, we tend to think of the world as a parochial place, with people barely aware of what lay beyond their own backyard. But the truth is that daring explorers flourished in the Middle Ages, crossing vast distances and changing how Medieval people thought about the world.

10Friar Julian

Around 895 A.D., the Hungarians swept out of Eastern Europe, raiding across Europe and establishing themselves firmly in the Carpathian Basin. But they always remembered their distant homeland somewhere across the mountains. In particular, they mourned the Hungarians who had been split from the main group by a Pecheneg attack and left behind before the great migration into Europe. In 1235, King Bela of Hungary asked four Dominican friars to travel east in search of the missing Hungarians and their lost homeland.

Of the four explorers, only a friar named Julian survived the whole journey. He wrote that they had started their search around the Crimea, before trekking across the Caucasus and journeying up the Volga River. According to Julian, he found the Eastern Hungarians living there in a region he called Magna Hungaria (“Great Hungary”). However, by this time Julian had realized that a great threat was brewing. The Mongols were invading Russia and Julian correctly feared that this invincible new force would soon reach Hungary. He hastened back to Europe, where he provided the first detailed warning of the Mongol approach, and the Eastern Hungarians once again passed out of the history books.

9Gunnbjorn Ulfsson

It is fairly well-known that Erik the Red was the first Viking to sail to Greenland and settle there. But Erik did not actually discover Greenland. That honor goes to his relative Gunnbjorn Ulfsson, who reported the existence of a land west of Iceland in the early 10th century.

According to the sagas, Gunnbjorn was sailing to Iceland when he was blown off course by a storm. He reported seeing some skerries (small, uninhabitable islands) rising from the sea to the west and deduced that a larger landmass must lie beyond them. However, modern historians believe that Gunnbjorn was actually seeing the “hillingar,” a well-known mirage caused by “optical ducting” off the Greenland coast.

In any case, Gunnbjorn was right to suspect that a large island lay beyond whatever he saw. This new land was eventually settled by Erik the Red and used by his son Leif as a launch point for his famous voyages to the Americas.

8Rabban Bar Sauma

Often called the Marco Polo of the East, Rabban bar Sauma was born in China in 1220 A.D., not far from modern Beijing. He became a Nestorian Christian monk and became known for his fervent acts of devotion. He eventually decided to undertake a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, requiring him to trek across the Asian landmass. He eventually made it to Baghdad, but a war in the Holy Land meant he could not journey on to Jerusalem.

After a few years in an Armenian monastery, the Mongol ruler of Iran asked Rabban to undertake a diplomatic mission to Europe. The fearless monk was feted in Constantinople and narrowly wriggled out of a difficult situation in Rome, where some cardinals suspected that he was a heretic. He stayed with King Philip of France and made it to the Atlantic Ocean near Bordeaux, where he met with King Edward “Longshanks” of England.

After returning to Persia in triumph, Rabban retired to found a monastery in Azerbaijan. He carefully kept a diary of his travels, providing modern historians with a fascinating outsider’s perspective on Medieval Europe.

7William of Rubruck

After the initial Mongol invasion of Europe, the European powers would send several ambassadors on the long journey to the court of the Great Khan. By far the most insightful was the monk William of Rubruck, who actually was not an ambassador at all and mostly wound up in Mongolia by accident.

During the Seventh Crusade, William asked King Louis XI of France for permission to travel from Palestine to modern Russia, where he hoped to minister to the Christians enslaved by the Mongols during their attack on Hungary a decade earlier. But when he rocked up in Russia, the Mongols completely misunderstood his mission and assumed he was a formal ambassador. As such, they sent him on to the court of Mongke Khan in Mongolia.

William was in no position to argue and found himself swept along to Karakorum, where he spoke with Mongke and participated in a formal debate between Christians, Muslims, and Buddhists (everyone ended up blackout drunk before Mongke got around to picking the winner).

He returned to France around 1255, where he wrote a detailed and often humorous account of his travels (a highlight is a lengthy religious discussion with some Buddhists which suddenly ends because “my interpreter was tired and . . . made me stop talking). Among other breakthroughs, he alerted Medieval Europe to the existence of Buddhism and persuaded mapmakers that the Caspian Sea was landlocked.

6Afanasy Nikitin

Afanasy Nikitin was a merchant from Tver who became arguably the greatest Russian explorer of the Medieval period. He initially left Tver in 1466 on a trading expedition to the Caucasus but was attacked and robbed on the Volga. With his finances in ruins, he decided to seek opportunities further afield and traveled on through Persia to Hormuz, where he took ship for India.

Nikitin arrived in India in 1469. At that time, the country was virtually unknown in Russia, but he fit in well and traveled widely through the Deccan. He found he got along better with the local Hindus than their Muslim rulers, who kept trying to talk him into converting. He wrote extensive descriptions of the local temples and religious practices and made visits to Calicut and Sri Lanka, where he described the famous Adam’s Peak as a holy site for Hindus, Buddhists, Christians, and Muslims.

In 1472, Nikitin became homesick and decided to make the journey back to Tver. Along the way, he visited Ethiopia and Oman, but he sadly died in Smolensk, Russia, just a short distance from his beloved Tver.

5Li Da and Chen Cheng

Li Da and Chen Cheng were two Chinese eunuchs who undertook a dangerous expedition through Central Asia in the 1410s. Li Da was by far the more experienced traveler, having already made two trips into the heart of Asia. But he did not write about them, so he has been almost forgotten. But Chen Cheng did keep a detailed diary, so he gets all the glory, although he was always subordinate to Li Da.

The two eunuchs set out in 1414, on a diplomatic mission for the Yongle Emperor. They journeyed through a desert for 50 days, then navigated the barren terrain of the world’s second lowest depression, and clambered past the Tian Shan mountains. They waded through salt marshes and lost most of their horses crossing the Syr River. Finally, after 269 days, they reached Herat, presented their gifts to the sultan and went home. Astonishingly, Li Da would make the same journey twice more, always making it through without a scratch.

4Odoric of Pordenone

Beginning in the late 13th century, the Franciscan monks began a determined effort to establish a presence in east Asia. They sent out missionaries like John of Montecorvino, who became the first Catholic Bishop of Peking (Beijing), and Giovanni de’ Marignolli, who journeyed widely through China and India. Perhaps the best traveled of all was Odoric of Pordenone, a Franciscan of Czech extraction who set out for the east around 1316.

After some time in Persia, Odoric preached throughout India before taking ship for modern Indonesia, where he visited Java, Sumatra, and possibly Borneo. Arriving in China, he based himself in Beijing but continued to travel widely (he was particularly impressed with Hangzhou) for the next three years. He then decided to return home via Lhasa, Tibet.

After returning to Italy, he dictated his biography from his sickbed (which may explain why they abruptly end after Tibet). He died in Udine in 1331. His memoirs became enormously influential—but not in the way he might have hoped. An unknown hack rewrote them to add all sorts of ludicrous events and fantastical beasts and published them as “The Travels Of Sir John Mandeville,” which became a smash medieval bestseller.

3Naddodd and Gardar

According to the saga of Ari the Wise, the first Viking to discover Iceland was a settler in the Faroe Islands called Naddodd, who was blown off course by a storm to a place he called “Snowland.” This accidental discovery was followed up by a Swede named Gardar Svarsson, who explored the coast of the island and wintered there before sailing back to Scandinavia, full of praise for the new land. Thanks to Gardar’s daring and Naddodd’s ability not to die in a storm, the Vikings would quickly settle in Iceland, where their descendants remain to this day.

Oddly, the sagas insist that Noddodd and Gardar were not the first Europeans to reach Iceland. According to Ari, Scottish or Irish monks known as Papar were already living as hermits in Iceland when the Norse arrived, but they quickly left as “they did not want to share the land with heathens,” leaving behind “Irish books.” Of course, Ari was writing 250 years later, and supporting evidence for the Papar’s existence is thin, so use your best judgment there.

2Benjamin of Tudela

Very little is known about Benjamin of Tudela since his travelogue remains the only source for his life. He was a Jew who set out from Tudela in Spain around 1160 and kept a careful record of his travels. After journeying through Barcelona and southern France, he spent some time in Rome before traveling south through Greece to Constantinople.

From Constantinople, he took ship for the Holy Land and journeyed through Palestine and Syria to Baghdad and Persia. His writings then describe Sri Lanka and China, but the descriptions become fantastical, and most historians believe he did not make it farther than the Persian Gulf.

Benjamin’s primary value to historians was his focus on the Jewish communities he encountered everywhere on his travels, which tended to be ignored by later travelers. His writing remains the best travelogue of this hidden Medieval world.

1Ibn Battutah

It is impossible to write about medieval travelers without mentioning Ibn Battutah, the greatest traveler of his age and arguably of all time. While most medieval explorers journeyed for trade, diplomacy, or religion, Ibn Battutah simply loved traveling: he was a natural tourist. As a result, it has been seriously suggested that he covered more miles than anyone else until the invention of the steam engine.

Born into a wealthy Moroccan family, Ibn Battutah was sent on a pilgrimage to Mecca as a youth. It was supposed to prepare him for a career as an Islamic judge, but instead, it awakened his wanderlust. Instead of returning home, he crisscrossed the Middle East and then sailed down the East African coast to modern Tanzania.

Running low on funds, Ibn Battutah then decided to journey to Delhi, where he had heard the sultan was extremely generous. Typically, he went via Turkey, Crimea, Constantinople, and the Volga River in what is now Russia. Finally, he reached Afghanistan and crossed the Hindu Kush into India, where the sultan showered him with gifts and sent him on a diplomatic mission to China.

Unfortunately, he was robbed, caught in a war, and shipwrecked (in that order), losing all the gifts the sultan had asked him to present to the Chinese court. Too afraid to return to Delhi, he spent a few years hiding out in the Maldives, then visited Sri Lanka, Bengal, and Sumatra, before finally making it to China around 1345.

Returning to the Middle East two years later, he found the region ravaged by the black plague and quickly returned to Morocco. After a quick jaunt to Spain, he embarked on his last great journey, crossing the Sahara and exploring the Malian Empire. In 1353, he returned to Morocco, wrote his memoirs, and promptly vanished from history.

Europe in the Middle Ages was a bloody place, where poisoning wells and massacring your enemy’s peasants was considered an acceptable mode of warfare. So it is no surprise that Medieval kings and queens often resorted to assassination to get their way. Many of these murders changed the history of the continent, from the duke smothered with a mattress to the king stabbed by an assassin hiding inside his toilet.

10William Longsword

William Longsword was the son of Rollo, the daring Viking chief who had converted to Christianity and founded the Duchy of Normandy in northern France. William continued his father’s work, aggressively expanding the duchy to the north. With France in turmoil, there was no central authority to stop him. There was just one problem: his lousy neighbor, Flanders.

As the Normans were expanding north, Arnulf the Rich, Count of Flanders, had been rapidly expanding south. The two sides collided in 939 in a dispute over Montreuil, sparking a brief but extremely bloody war.

Realizing he could not defeat Longsword in battle, Arnulf decided to finish things another way and invited his rival to a meeting on an island in the Seine in 942. William foolishly walked into the Flemish trap. As soon as he set foot on the island, three of Arnulf’s men burst out of hiding and hacked him to death.

William was succeeded by his ten-year-old son, who was soon kidnapped by the French king and spent the rest of his life struggling to hold Normandy together. Arnulf kept his new territories, and the era of rapid Viking expansion in France came to an end.

9Childeric II

Childeric II was a member of the famous Merovingian royal family, who ruled over the Franks. By Childeric’s time, the Frankish lands were split into three kingdoms, and the Merovingians exercised little real power. Childeric was determined to change that.

Childeric was initially the king of Austrasia, the northernmost Frankish kingdom. But he proved a capable ruler, and by 673 he had displaced his cousins to become ruler of Neustria and Burgundy as well, uniting all three Frankish entities under his rule.

However, by this point the three kingdoms had grown apart, and the Neustrians and Burgundians resented their Austrasian king. Childeric had to promise to rule each kingdom according to local customs, but Burgundian chroniclers still lamented being ruled by “foolish and nearly pagan people.”

The last straw came when Childeric had a Neustrian named Bodilo beaten as punishment for some offense. The outraged Bodilo quickly recruited other dissatisfied Neustrians and waited for Childeric in the forest. When the king rode out on a hunting trip, he was ambushed and slaughtered, along with his pregnant wife.

Childeric was the last Merovingian king to exercise any real power, and the dynasty was eventually overthrown by their ambitious Carolingian courtiers.

8Berdi, Qulpa, and Nurus

In 1357, the great Jani Beg, Khan of the Golden Horde, fell deathly ill. He at once summoned his son Berdi and had him anointed as the new Khan. Berdi then murdered his father in case he recovered from his illness and tried to retake the throne. Doubtless, the old tyrant thoroughly approved.

The Golden Horde had dominated Eastern Europe since the original Mongol invasions of the previous century, and the princes of Russia journeyed to Berdi’s court to reaffirm their allegiance to the descendants of Genghis. But the Russians were about to catch an unexpected break.

Upon taking the throne, Berdi executed 12 of his brothers. Unlucky 13 was Qulpa, who won his brother’s trust and began scheming to have him assassinated. He succeeded in 1359 and took the throne, but was himself poisoned on the orders of Nurus Beg, who was either another brother or an imposter pretending to be another brother.

Nurus himself was killed within months, at which point at least 20 people declared themselves the new Khan. The Golden Horde collapsed into civil war, and the Russian states were able to shake off Mongol rule. It would never be fully restored.

7Constable Charles

In 1328, King Charles of France died without a son. His closest relatives were the rulers of England and Navarre, but the French disinherited both by insisting that the throne could only be passed through the male line. The English responded by launching the Hundred Years War. Meanwhile, the Navarrese bided their time.

Things came to a head when Charles the Bad became King of Navarre. Charles hated his cousin, the French King John the Good (the nicknames are a clue as to who the chroniclers sided with). He was particularly outraged after John bilked him out of some land and gave it to his favorite, Charles de la Cerda, Constable of France.

In 1354, a group of Navarrese mercenaries quietly surrounded the tavern where the Constable was sleeping. Charles’s brother Phillip led four troopers into the Constable’s bedroom, woke him up for some insults, and then stabbed him over 80 times.

John was furious and gathered an army, but Charles began openly negotiating an alliance with the English. Unable to face both England and Navarre, John was forced to conclude a treaty with Charles. The pair continued to scheme against each other, and the quarrel badly weakened France as the English began their invasion.

6Robert Clermont and Jean De Conflans

Being a royal advisor to John the Good was a dangerous business. Two years after Charles de la Cerda was assassinated, John was defeated and captured by the Black Prince at Poitiers. Leadership of France passed to his teenage son, the Dauphin Charles.

The Dauphin soon imposed new taxes to replace the army destroyed at Poitiers. This enraged the common people of France, who resented paying for the nobility to lose battles. The townsfolk of Paris banded together under a wealthy merchant named Etienne Marcel, who demanded the Dauphin dismiss his father’s ministers and make concessions in return for the new taxes.

When the Dauphin refused, Marcel sent agents to spring Charles the Bad from prison. He entered Paris in triumph as riots swept the city. Marcel himself marched on the palace with a mob, who entered the Dauphin’s bedroom and murdered his advisors Robert Clermont and Jean de Conflans while he watched.

Convinced his life was in danger, the Dauphin fled Paris and began raising an army to use against the people of Paris. As the English entrenched their gains, France descended into anarchy.

5Etienne Marcel

As he took control of Paris, Marcel and his followers grew more and more radical. In 1357, his assembly passed the Great Ordinance, which sought to reform the government of France. If Marcel had succeeded, it would have made the nobility subject to the assembly, effectively creating government by parliament.

In 1358, a massive peasant rebellion known as the Jacquerie broke out north of Paris. Marcel decided to support the rebels, hoping to make common cause between the common people of the country and Paris. This provoked a split with Charles the Bad, a firm believer in his own aristocratic rights. Charles personally led the knights who defeated and massacred the Jacquerie, while Marcel retreated into Paris.

Meanwhile, the Dauphin had been raising an army to attack Paris. An increasingly nervous Marcel renewed his alliance with Charles the Bad, but this proved unpopular with the people of Paris since Charles’s Navarrese and English mercenaries had been raiding around the city. Marcel’s follower Jean Maillart began to secretly correspond with the Dauphin.

In June, Maillart and his men hacked Marcel to death with an ax. The first French revolution was over.

4Thomas of Woodstock

By 1386, the Hundred Years War was going badly for England, and the people blamed King Richard II, an aloof and autocratic figure who relied on his cronies to run the country. A group of nobles known as the Lords Appellant formed a commission and announced their intention to take over the government from the incompetent Richard.

Led by Thomas of Woodstock, the Duke of Gloucester, the Lords defeated Richard’s army at Radcot Bridge and seized the king. Many of Richard’s favorites were executed or banished, and the king remained as little more than a figurehead.

However, Richard was prepared to bide his time and slowly rebuilt his power base. In 1397, he successfully lured the Duke of Norfolk away from the other Lords Appellant. Thomas of Woodstock was ambushed and banished to Calais, where he was soon assassinated.

Accounts of his death vary—some say he was strangled, while others say he was smothered with a feather mattress to avoid leaving marks on the body. Either way, it was clear Richard had ordered the murder. The people of England were outraged, and Richard was soon overthrown and starved to death, with major consequences for English history.

3Isma’il and His Sons

The Nasrids were the last great Muslim dynasty of Spain, ruling Granada from 1248 until its final conquest by Ferdinand and Isabella in 1491. Throughout their history, the Nasrids were hampered by civil wars and dynastic intrigue, which prevented them from consistently winning back territory from the Christians.

Take Isma’il I, a talented and energetic leader who won a crushing victory over the Castilians at Vega de Granada in 1319. The two regents of Castile were killed (one was skinned and stuffed afterward), and Isma’il was able to go on the offensive and conquer Baza and Martos.

Unfortunately, Isma’il was then assassinated by his cousin over a petty personal dispute. The throne passed to his young son Muhammad, who was assassinated in turn by the Banu Abi’l-Ula clan when he showed interest in running the kingdom.

Muhammad’s brother Yusuf then took power and destroyed the Banu Abi’l-Ula. Yusuf seemed to have inherited his father’s talents, but he was stabbed in the back by a local madman while praying in Granada’s Great Mosque.

This sort of thing continued down the generations, preventing the Nasrids from ever achieving true stability.

2Stephen of Hungary

Doctors make the perfect assassins, and so they were often regarded with suspicion in the Medieval period when medicine was more superstition than science in any case.

For example, William of Tyre assures us that King Baldwin III of Jerusalem died after taking some pills from a Syrian doctor. It remains unclear whether this was a case of murder, medical malpractice, or simply a failure to cure the king’s existing illness. William argued for murder (apparently a dog who ate the pills also died), but the doctor was not arrested, suggesting option three was more widely accepted.

But few Medieval medical murders were as grisly as that of Stephen IV, who briefly usurped the throne of Hungary from his young nephew. Defeated in battle, Stephen fled to the Byzantines, pursued by his nephew’s agents.

Like many medieval people, Stephen believed in bleeding as a medical treatment. Unfortunately, his attendant had been bribed. After releasing some of Stephen’s blood, he “smeared with poison the bandage that covered the wound; from there it spread throughout the body and penetrated into the most vital parts.”

1Godfrey the Hunchback

Godfrey the Hunchback became Duke of Lower Lorraine in 1069. He was small and physically deformed, but quickly proved an able ruler, with a contemporary chronicler describing him as “weak in body but excelling in spirit.”

A powerful ruler in his own right, Godfrey could have become one of the great figures in Europe through his marriage to Matilda of Tuscany, who controlled vast territories in Italy. Unfortunately, the couple hated each other. After three years of marriage, Matilda would not even let her husband into her sight. Cut off from his wife’s court, Godfrey returned to his own lands, where he was stabbed in a toilet.

There are a number of different accounts of the assassination, but all agree that an assassin was lying in wait in the castle latrines and killed Gregory when he went to relieve himself in the middle of the night. The more dramatic accounts say that the assassin was actually hiding inside the latrine pit and impaled Gregory with a spear when he sat down.

The chroniclers agree that the assassination was ordered by Gregory’s enemies in Holland and Flanders, and had nothing to do with Matilda. Nonetheless, the murder had a major effect on European politics. Without her troublesome husband, Matilda was free to become Pope Gregory VII’s most powerful and effective supporter in his confrontation with the Holy Roman Emperor, the greatest political crisis of the era.

Medieval medicine involved beliefs and remedies that seem bizarre to us today. Understanding the beliefs behind the cures makes them seem less so.

Medieval physicians believed the human body to be a microcosmic version of the macrocosm, or the universe. This belief was central to philosophical traditions dating back to ancient Rome and Greece. It was the foundation of medieval medicine, and it was developed from the works of Pythagoras and Galen, among others.

In Galenic theory, good health depended on the proper balance of dry, moist, cold, and warm. These qualities were present in the four humors: Air was associated with the blood. Choler was fire and found in the red or yellow bile. Phlegm was cold and moist and was thought of as a watery, mucous substance. Black bile was cold and dry and was the unhealthiest humor.

Medieval remedies were based on the principle that this wholeness of existence infused everything—words, minerals, the seasons, locations, and plants and animals. An affliction was due to some cosmological imbalance in the patient; the remedy must correct this imbalance. Remedies could involve preparing “simples” (remedies of one ingredient taken from nature), bloodletting, cupping, and other procedures that seem bizarre to the modern mind.

10 Swallows’ Gizzards For Epilepsy

This prescription from the famous 14-century English physician John of Gaddesden is a “simple”:

The little red stones found in the gizzards of swallows, which are forever helpful if they are hung on the patient’s neck. After catching the swallows on the nest and cutting their gizzards, remove the stones in the middle of the day: they are useful, for they cure epileptic, insane, and lunatic patients.

The timing of the stones’ removal of the stones would have been important to the medieval doctor because the Sun is warm, and the Moon is cold. The stones are “hot,” as is the Sun; the efficacy of this cure would be related the fact that the epileptic’s seizures were the result of too much fire or heat in the brain. As 12th-century Benedictine abbess St. Hildegard von Bingen and others believed, “Like cures like.”

9 Detect Thieves And Prevent Defamation With Marigolds

The Book of Secrets of Albertus Magnus is an herbal remedy guide that includes astrological influences. One such remedy, as quoted in Harmony and Healing: The Theoretical Basis for Ancient and Medieval Medicine by James J. Garber, prescribes a ritual using marigolds to guard against thievery or being talked down by others:

[ . . . ] if it [marigold] be gathered, the sun being in the sign of Leo, in August, and be wrapped in the leaf of a Laurel, or Bay tree and a wolf’s tooth be added thereto no man shall be able to have a word to speak against the bearer thereto, but words of peace. And if any thing be stolen, if the bearer of things before named lays them under his head in the night, he shall see the thief and all his conditions.

This cure combines the properties of the marigold with the power of the Sun strongly enough to give the person magical powers. Magic was commonly held to be true in the Middle Ages, although the Church strongly discouraged its practice.

8 Mandrake Root For Depression

The mandrake root looks man-like. Its magical powers are enlarged due to this quality of its appearing to be human.

For depression, St. Hildegard von Bingen advises digging up a mandrake root, which will reportedly scream when pulled from the ground. Immediately put the mandrake into a spring and soak it for a day and night so that the evil inside it will be purged. Put it next to you in bed, and say the following prayer:

God, you made the human being from the mud of the earth without pain; now I place next to me this earth which has never been stepped on, so that even my earth shall feel that peace, just as you created it.

The result is that you will “receive happiness, and your heart will sense recovery.”

This cure is a good example of using words (prayers) and the curative power of the plant without having to ingest it or even apply it to your skin. It reflects the medieval people’s belief in magic.

7 Banish Anxiety With Bear’s Hair

Anxiety must have been as common in the Middle Ages as it is today, for there is a cure for it in von Bingen’s Physica:

Take some hair from between the bear’s ears, and place it on your chest over your heart until it warms up. Immediately you will be peaceful and calm.

The strength and serenity of the bear is infused into the anxious person, giving them confidence and serenity.

6 A Unicorn’s Hoof To Detect Poison

If you think someone is trying to poison you, put the hoof of a unicorn under your plate or cup. If the dish is hot, the hoof will make it boil. If what you have been served is cold, the hoof will make it steam.

This ability of a unicorn’s hoof to detect poisons in food is the result of the purity of the unicorn, which by the Middle Ages, had come to represent Christ and purity.

5 For Testicle Ailments . . . 

If you’re experiencing problems with your testicles, St. Hildegard von Bingen’s Physica has you covered:

He should burn a swallow’s egg in its shell, and then grind it to a powder. Add some chicken fat, and mix. Anoint the testicles with the mixture.

This remedy imparts the healing powers of the egg. The cooked egg has a perfect balance of the humors, hence its healing powers.

4 Wear A Live Bat For Jaundice

For jaundice, the Physica tells you to stun a bat by striking it gently. Then, tie it over your loins. Make sure the bat’s back is facing your back. Wait a little while, and then tie it over your stomach. Leave it there until it dies. Another remedy for jaundice is to tie a dead widderwalo, a kind of bird, over your stomach.

In Galenic medicine, yellow bile was associated with jaundice. The bird and the bat being associated with a cure for jaundice could indicate that these animals were able to counter the heat of the yellow bile with either their own heat or perhaps their cooling properties.

3 Lion’s Ear Hearing Aid

According to the Physica, a lion’s ear can cure hearing loss:

Hold the ear of a lion on the deaf ear until that ear warms up from the ear of the lion. Also say, “Hear adimacus, by the living God, and by the sharpness of the lion’s strong hearing.”

This cure uses words and the idea of “like curing like,” common threads in medieval medicine.

2 Contraception

In the 11th or 12th century, Trotula of Salerno, a woman living in Italy, wrote a book on women’s medicine called De passionibus mulierum (On the Diseases of Women). Almost nothing is known about who this woman was or about her life. The Trotula, as the book came to be called, was in wide use in Europe in the late 12th through the 15th centuries.

To prevent pregnancy, the Trotula advised women to carry the womb of a goat that has never given birth against their nude flesh. This remedy is also given in the English remedy book Bodley 591.

1 Medieval Viagra

The many remedies for impotence, conception, and contraception in medieval remedy books show that the medieval people were as preoccupied by sex as we are today. In Bodley 591, there is a Middle Ages version of Viagra:

A man “who has lost his kynde and is cold in the body or porpis” should make a concoction of seeds of fennel and persill (parsley), lyngnum aloes (agarwood), galingale, canell (cinnamon from cassia bark), cardamon, and other ingredients. Mash these all together in a mortar and then put them into a basin, add sugar, and melt it together. Take a handful of what is left after the mixture has melted, put it in a glass, and drink it.

The manuscript says “ [ . . . ] this is a very good drynk, and an holsom ho woll use hit to restor a man anow.”

+ Faking Virginity

The Trotula gives some practical advice on how to fake virginity:

Mix together one or two ounces each of dragon’s blood, hematite, oak apples, Armenian bole (a kind of clay), cinnamon, pomegranate rind, alum (an ingredient in styptic pencils), and mastic. Put this mixture into your vagina.

The mastic and alum would give this mixture a stickiness that would become liquid when warmed.

Davanna Cimino is a writer and editor living on the Gulf Coast of Florida. Connect with her on Twitter @davanna.

If you ever find yourself trapped in history, you might want to bring a nose plug. Everyday life, before modern sewage and sanitation, could get pretty gross. We’ve covered some examples of this before.

It didn’t get much grosser than medieval England, though. In the days of Chaucer, to walk through the streets of London was to see and experience some of the most disgusting sights and smells you can imagine. Fantasy epics tend to gloss over the following aspects of medieval life for obvious reasons.

10 People Piled Garbage And Feces In Front Of Their Homes

When a British family had filled their chamber pots and stuffed their house with waste and rotting food, they were expected to clean it out. Officially, they were supposed to gather up their whole mess and carry it outside the city limits. It was one of those ideas that sounded great on paper—but in practice, nobody was about to waste their time doing that when there was a perfectly good street to dump things right outside their front door.

Trash piled up in front of people’s homes, ranging from old chicken bones to emptied-out chamber pots. Legend has it that people dumped their chamber pots out their windows so often that chivalrous men were expected to let women walk on the inside of the sidewalk so that any raining feces would fall on the man’s head instead.

Nobody even tried to stop people from dumping things on the streets until the 14th century, when King Edward II introduced England’s first law against dumping poop on the road. Even then, though, his expectations were pretty low. “All filth deposited before houses [must] be removed within a week,” the law ordered, and “pigs [must] be kept from wandering in the streets.”^[1]

It didn’t have much of an effect. The trash kept piling up, and people just adjusted. Wealthy people would carry perfumed cloths against their nose whenever they stepped outside to keep from throwing up, and the king started hiring professionals to clear the filth off the road.

9 The Sewers Flooded When It Rained

As awful as the roads smelled on an average day, they were infinitely worse after it rained. The streets of medieval England were made of dirt and cobblestone, designed to slope into a rainwater ditch in the middle of the road to prevent flooding. This would’ve been a fine design if people would’ve just stopped jamming their trash everywhere they could.

The people of medieval England would cram everything they threw out into the rainwater ditches. They’d stuff these things so full that, by the time it rained, they were totally useless. Instead of stopping floods, the clogged ditches would overflow. Then they’d dislodge the months of trash that had built up inside them, drenching it and spilling it all over the streets.

When the sky cleared up, the roads would be covered in wet trash and feces slowly drying in the sun—and stinking up the entire town.^[2]

8 Doctors Would Pee On Your Wounds

If a medieval soldier was wounded in battle, he didn’t have to worry. They had doctors on hand who were ready to sterilize the wound. They didn’t even need to pack anything to do it. As soon as someone got cut, a doctor—following the recommendations of the king’s personal surgeon—would whip out his tool and pee on your wound.^[3]

They didn’t stop at cuts, either. Fresh urine was used to treat sores, burns, bites, and pretty well anything you could think of. It was gross, but it actually worked. The ammonia in the urine would help keep cuts from getting infected, and in life-or-death situations, the indignity was worth it.

It wasn’t just British doctors peeing on open wounds, either. One of the craziest stories comes from an Italian physician, Leonardo Fioravanti, who used his urine to save a soldier’s life after his nose was cut off in a fight. Fioravanti, thinking quickly, picked the man’s severed nose up off the ground, dusted off some sand, and peed on it.

The doctor, incredibly, was able to sew and reattach the urine-soaked nose back onto the man’s face. And for the rest of his life, the man could smell through that nose—whether he wanted to or not.

7 People Thought Bathing Made Them Sick

For most of the medieval era, the people were actually pretty good about bathing. They went to public baths regularly and did a fairly good job at cleaning themselves—for a while, anyway.

All that changed, though, after the Black Plague hit. In the chaos of seeing two-thirds of the world die from disease, the people of Europe started panicking. They wanted to find anything they could to blame this on, and they picked bathing.

The plague had spread, some doctors declared, because people were washing too often. They told people that water weakened their bodies and widened their pores, leaving them susceptible to plagues and diseases, and started ordering people to stop all forms of bathing immediately.^[4] “By no means,” one doctor warned his patients, “should you wash your face.”

6 Male Fashion Showed Off The Bulge

Leaving something to the imagination fell out of fashion sometime around the 14th century. The men of England started getting into a new type of clothing—and it wasn’t much different from going out with nothing on at all.

The hot new look for the 1300s was a doublet called a courtpiece, a tiny little piece of cloth that only drooped down two inches below the belt.^[5] From the waist down, they’d be wearing nothing but their undergarments, which, in those times, meant wearing the tightest, thinnest leggings physically possible, customized to make the bulge between your legs as visible as possible.

As time went on, the fashion just got weirder. Instead of merely showing off what God gave them, men started wearing codpieces with padded crotch areas, designed to make them look as big as possible.

Knights, by the 16th century, were even wearing them into battle. A suit of armor would come equipped with a massive, exaggerated metal codpiece that jammed out from between their legs. More often than not, they were even custom-designed to be pointing out. They didn’t serve any actual military purpose except, perhaps, to let the enemy know: You can knock me down, but I’ll still be erect.

5 Families Slept On Filthy Dirt Floors

Unless you were wealthy, most homes in medieval England didn’t actually have floors. Beneath most people’s feet was nothing more than compacted earth covered in rushes, herbs, and grass.

Covering the dirt with plants helped to keep the house warm, but it came with a pretty heavy cost. Food would fall into the rushes and get buried there, luring rats and insects into people’s homes. And people rarely cleaned them. Usually, they’d clear out the top layer and put on something new, but the bottom layer of rushes, where all the disgusting things were, would stay untouched, often for decades.

One Dutch visitor complained that English homes were “harboring expectoration, vomiting, the leakage of dogs and men, ale dropping, scraps of fish and other abominations not fit to be mentioned.”^[6]

Those are pretty disgusting things to have under your feet—but it gets worse. They didn’t have beds, either, so they slept on the floor, which means that every night, their faces were right there, pressed against a 20-year-old layer of crusted vomit, droppings, and rotten food.

4 Doctors Spread Dung On Expecting Mothers

Childbirth has never been fun, but as terrible as it is today, it used to be a lot worse. In the medieval times, doctors didn’t really have a lot of ideas on how to keep an expecting mother from dying. Pretty well the only thing they knew how to do was to rely on divine intervention—so that’s exactly what they did.

Monks and midwives would sit by a pregnant woman and pray, calling on the child to come out “without dying, and without the death of your mother.” Or else they would rely on magic. Sometimes, they’d feed a woman vinegar and sugar and cover her in eagle’s dung, kind of just hoping that eagle poop might be something that keeps women alive.^[7]

When magic failed, they just prayed for a miracle. An abbey in Yorkshire kept a holy, sacred girdle on hand at all times, convinced that it had magical powers that would keep a woman alive through a pregnancy. They weren’t the only ones who believed in it, either. When Henry III’s wife became pregnant, he ordered the monks to bring him the sacred girdle.

None of it seems to have worked particularly well. An estimated one in three children died before they turned five, and about 20 percent of all mothers died from the childbirth. To be fair, though, we don’t have any data on mothers who covered themselves with eagle dung and clutched onto the sacred girdle.

3 Aborted Fetuses Were Used As A Contraceptive

Before Planned Parenthood, there were other ways to get contraceptives. Women who needed contraceptives or an abortion could visit women who called themselves sorceresses—but these women didn’t exactly sell condoms and birth control pills.

The contraceptives these women sold were incredibly disturbing. They made magical amulets that were supposed to keep a woman from getting pregnant. Inside each one was a pair of weasel’s testicles, a child’s tooth, and a severed finger cut from an aborted fetus.^[8]

They sold love potions, too, which were pretty much the same thing. Their love potions contained extracts of the purest essences of—you guessed it—aborted babies. Apparently, their customers would drink these.

It was all pretty messed up. Still, when it comes to the contraceptives, you’ve got to admit: Any woman wearing an amulet full of weasel testicles, baby teeth, and fetus parts probably isn’t going to be getting pregnant anytime soon.

2 Everyone Was Infested With Lice

It might not be too surprising, after all of this, to find out that the people of the Middle Ages had a little bit of a problem with lice. Pretty well everyone in medieval England struggled with lice and fleas, from the rich to the poor.

It was a regular part of some people’s days to gather around with their friends and family to pick lice off each other’s bodies. That was especially true for people who had to travel. Some crusaders left letters behind praising the laundry women who’d come with them, saying that not only would they wash their clothes, but they were as “good as apes for picking fleas.”^[9]

The problem got worse the poorer you were, though, and it wasn’t restricted to England. When an English pilgrim named Margery Kempe traveled into a town of German peasants, she wrote home with disgust that the poor people of Germany would spend their evenings stripped naked, sitting in a circle and picking vermin off one another.

1 The River Thames Was Full Of Rotting Meat

Few places stank worse than the River Thames. During the Middle Ages, it was considered normal practice for butchers to gather up all their unused, rotten meat, bundle it up, drag it out to the bridge, and dump it in the river.

Dumping rotten animal parts into the river was so common that one bridge had earned itself the nickname “Butcher’s Bridge,” and it was the most disgusting place in the whole country. The bridge was famous for being covered in dried blood and pieces of animal entrails that had spilled out of the butchers’ carts.^[10]

It took until 1369 before anyone made a law against it, but it didn’t do much good. Even after dumping meat into the Thames became a crime, people kept writing letters complaining about it. “No one, by reason of such corruption of filth” one local protested, “could hardly venture to abide his house there.”

It was pretty disgusting—but it didn’t really stop there. It took nearly 500 years before anyone managed to stop people from dumping every piece of waste they had into the River Thames. It took until the 19th century before anyone put an end to the River Thames’s stench. But for 500 years, London’s great river was one of the smelliest places on Earth.

The popular images of the Middle Ages do not always focus on the deeper side of ordinary life. Yet, these often ignored moments can be extraordinary. Researchers are beginning to understand that nothing can be taken for granted with medieval citizens.

Far from being unintelligent farmers, people during medieval times had complex behaviors, mysteries, and very relatable problems. But perhaps the most magnetic quality about them is that tiny, alien part the modern mind will always be amazed by. Simple things whipped up deadly frenzies, and their approach to marriage and parenting is almost unrecognizable today.

10 They Rearranged Graves

In medieval Europe, a massive 40 percent of graves were disturbed.^[1] In the past, unsavory robbers were solely blamed. However, two cemeteries recently revealed it may have been a community thing. The Austrian cemetery Brunn am Gebirge contained 42 graves from the Langobards, a sixth-century Germanic tribe. All but one had been rummaged through, and only certain objects were taken.

There was also a noticeable way in which the remains were treated: Skulls were removed, or an extra one was added. Most bones were moved with some sort of tool. The motive is unclear, but the tribe might have been trying to prevent the undead from rising. It is also possible the Langobards wanted reminders of their lost loved ones. This could be why over a third of the skulls were missing.

In an English graveyard, Winnall II (seventh and eighth centuries), skeletons were bound, decapitated, had twisted joints, and contained bones from other individuals. Originally, they were thought to have been given strange funerals. There is growing evidence, however, that the manhandling happened later, perhaps because locals believed the restless souls brought bad luck.

9 Marriage Was Difficult To Prove

Getting married in medieval England was easier than tripping over a log. All that were needed was a man and a woman, and each had to verbally agree to the union.^[2] If the girl was 12 and the boy 14, no family consent was necessary. No church or priest came into play.

People often tied the knot wherever they were, be it down at the local pub or in bed. (Sex counted as automatic marriage.) A church warning echoed one of the dangers of such glib matrimony. It cautioned young men not to abuse it just to fool girls into having sex. Most couple-related cases before the court were indeed to prove that a wedding had happened and to enforce it.

If couples married alone, it was extremely hard to say what was agreed to (or wrongly assumed). For this reason, vows were encouraged to be taken in the presence of a priest. Divorce could only happen if the union was never legal in the first place. Reasons included still being married to a previous partner, being related (distant ancestors were often invented), or being married to a non-Christian.

8 Men Received Infertility Treatment

In the ancient world, the usual approach to a childless marriage was to eye the wife with suspicion. This was also assumed to be the case in medieval England. But researchers found the opposite to be true. From the 13th century, men were also held accountable, as medical books of the time discussed male reproductive problems and sterility.^[3]

The pages also contain some odd advice to identify the infertile partner and what treatment to employ: Both had to pee in separate pots full of bran, seal them for nine days, and then check for worms—the smoking gun. If the husband was believed to be the one who needed treatment, he faced hairy options to treat his “unsuitable seed.” To cure conception difficulties in any person, one recipe called for dried pig testicles to be ground up and consumed for three days with wine.

Though physicians accepted infertility as a medical condition, medieval courts were less forgiving. A wife could divorce her husband if he was impotent.

7 Apprentices Caused Trouble

In Northern Europe, parents had the habit of booting teens from the house and into an apprenticeship that often lasted a decade.^[4] The benefits for the adults included one less mouth to feed, and the master got cheap labor.

Surviving letters, written by the teens, show the experience was traumatic. Some historians feel the youngsters were sent off because they were unruly and that their parents believed training would have a positive impact. Perhaps the master craftsmen knew trouble when they saw it because many had their students sign a contract to behave. Even so, apprentices got a bad name. Being away from their families, resenting their lives of labor, and bonding with fellow ticked-off teens soon produced gangs.

At their most tame, they gambled and frequented brothels. In Germany, France, and Switzerland, they gatecrashed carnivals, caused disorder, and once held a town to ransom. In London’s streets, violent fights broke out between different guilds, and in 1517, they looted the city. It is likely that the hooliganism came from disillusionment. Despite all the years invested, many understood that it was no guarantee of future work.

6 The Real Medieval Elderly

In early medieval England, a person was considered elderly by age 50.^[5] British scholars hailed the era as a “golden age” for people of advanced age. It was believed that society revered them for their wisdom and experience. This was not entirely true. Apparently, there was no concept of letting somebody enjoy their retirement; the older folks had to prove their worth. In exchange for respect, society expected older members to continue to contribute—especially warriors, holy men, and leaders. Soldiers still fought, and workers still worked.

Medieval authors had mixed emotions about growing old. Some agreed that the elderly were spiritually superior, while others belittled them as “hundred-year-old children.” Old age itself did not receive pretty poems. Text described it as a “foretaste of hell.” Another misconception is that everybody keeled over before getting truly old. Some people still lived well into their eighties and nineties.

5 Everyday Deaths

During the Middle Ages, not everybody perished from spectacular violence and warfare. Citizens also died from domestic violence, accidents, and too much fun.^[6] In 2015, researchers perused the medieval coroners’ records of Warwickshire, London, and Bedfordshire. The results offered a unique look at daily life and hazards in these counties.

Death by pig was a real thing. In 1322, two-month-old Johanna de Irlaunde died in her crib after a sow bit her in the head. Another pig killed a man in 1394. Cows also were responsible for several fatalities. According to the coroners, drowning accounted for the biggest number of accidental deaths. People succumbed in ditches, wells, and rivers.

Murder is to be expected. One graphic story from 1276 details how Joan Clarice cut her husband’s throat and literally beat his brains out. Several died from disputes, but falling also culled quite a number. People toppled from trees, buildings, and too much drink, and one woman fell off a chair she used to reach a candle. In 1366, John Cook wrestled a friend for fun but died the next day from his injuries.

4 Londoners Had It The Worst

To put a finer focus on the bloodshed, one did not truly want to move the family to London. It was the most violent spot in England.^[7] Archaeologists pondered over 399 skulls, dating from 1050 to 1550, from six London graveyards across all classes. Nearly seven percent showed suspicious physical trauma. Among these, lower-class men aged 26 to 35 filled the most graves. With violence rates double that of anywhere else in the country, the cemeteries showed that working-class males faced extreme aggression.

Once again, the coroner’s roll gave some insight. An unnatural number of homicides happened on Sunday evenings, a time when most lower-class men were in taverns. It is likely that drunken arguments happened frequently, with fatal results. In addition, only higher classes could afford a barrister or partake in duels where both parties had protection. The rest had to settle disputes and revenge with deadly informal fights.

3 Medieval Reading Habits

During the 15th and 16th centuries, religion was immersed in every part of people’s lives. Prayer books, in particular, were popular.^[8] Using a technique that calculates shades on a surface, art historians realized something: The dirtier the page, the more readers were drawn to the content.

To understand what their reading habits were as well as possible reasons behind it, several prayer books were scanned. The most thumbed pages showed medieval Europeans were not that different. One manuscript held a prayer dedicated to St. Sebastian, said to be able to ward off the plague. The prayer was constantly touched, likely by someone who dreaded getting sick. Other prayers about personal salvation also received more attention than those asking the same for another person.

These prayer books were treasured and read daily. However, a humorous find involved one particular prayer. The long piece was always read very early in the morning. Since only the first pages were smudged, it would appear the verse put most people back to sleep.

2 They Skinned Cats

In 2017, a study found that the cat fur industry also extended to Spain. This medieval practice was widespread and used both domestic and wild cats.^[9]

El Bordellet was a farming community 1,000 years ago. Among its many medieval finds are pits thought to have stored crops. But some of them held animal bones, and an unexpected number, around 900, belonged to cat skeletons. They were all in the same pit. Bone growth indicated they were nine to 20 months old, the best age to yield a large, unblemished pelt. Another strong indication that the felines were skinned were cut marks. They marred the remains at the right angles, intensity, and number.

It may make pet lovers cringe, but Northern Europe already slaughtered felines as clothes trimming or to make cat coats. However, researchers believe the El Bordellet cats could have served another purpose—as an ingredient in a ritual. Their pit included a horse skull, chicken egg, and goat horn. All three are known additions to magical medieval rites.

1 Wearing Stripes Was Deadly

Stripes make a chic fashion turn every few years, but back in the day, a lined outfit could get a person killed. In 1310, a French cobbler decided to wear striped clothing for the day. He was condemned to death for his decision. The man was part of the town’s clergy, which did not sit well with the belief that stripes belonged to the Devil.

Good citizens, too, had to avoid wearing bands at all costs. Prolific documentation from the 12th and 13th centuries reveals the strict stance authorities took against the pattern. It was considered the dress of society’s most tarnished—prostitutes, hangmen, lepers, heretics, and, for some reason, clowns. Even the disabled, bastard children, Jews, and Africans were slapped with stripes.^[10]

It is a mystery how the hatred became so easily entrenched. Why not spots or squares? No theory can adequately explain the link between Satan and stripes. One speculative grab cites a Bible verse: “You will not wear upon yourself a garment that is made of two.” Perhaps the medieval mind interpreted the passage as a reference to stripes. Whatever the reason, by the 18th century, the strange aversion was over.

Medieval fortresses stand as silent sentinels, shrouded in a veil of ancient mystery and awe. These formidable structures, dotted across the landscape of history, hold within their stone walls the echoes of a bygone era. From towering castles perched on hilltops to sprawling fortifications guarding strategic positions, these fortresses were the bastions of power and defense during the Middle Ages. Their significance transcends mere architectural marvels as they encapsulate the triumphs, tragedies, and enigmatic secrets of a turbulent past.

As we embark on a journey through the labyrinthine corridors of medieval fortresses, prepare to be captivated by the untold tales and hidden whispers that have withstood the test of time. Behind every mighty gatehouse and impregnable wall lies a tapestry of secrets waiting to be unveiled. From tales of treacherous plots and covert passages to inexplicable disappearances and hidden chambers, these enigmas beckon us to delve deeper into the annals of history.

Unlocking the mysteries of these ancient fortifications allows us to unravel the untold stories and immerse ourselves in the intrigues of an era long gone, awakening our sense of wonder and fascination for the unknown. Join us as we uncover the ten secrets that lie within the heart of medieval fortresses, and let the whispers of the past guide us on this captivating journey of discovery.

Related: Top 10 Mysterious Skeletons Found In Castles

10 Ingenious Plumbing Systems

Within some ancient medieval fortresses, a hidden secret lay beneath the grandeur—a sophisticated plumbing system that operated behind the castle walls. These ingenious systems encompassed toilets, drains, and sewage disposal, showcasing the remarkable advancements of the time. The plumbing systems were intricately designed, with underground channels and flushing mechanisms that contributed not only to the castle’s hygiene but also to its defense. The medieval architects and engineers employed their ingenuity to create networks of pipes and conduits that efficiently managed waste and ensured a more sanitary living environment within the fortress.

The medieval plumbing systems were a testament to the resourcefulness and engineering prowess of the time. They enabled the fortresses to maintain cleanliness and hygiene standards, crucial for the well-being of the inhabitants. Whether it was the use of latrines that directed waste to castle moats or rivers or the implementation of internal castle channels for waste disposal, these systems played a vital role in upholding the castle’s functionality and overall defense.

The mysteries surrounding the design and construction of these intricate plumbing systems leave us in awe of the medieval craftsmen who brought these innovations to life, hidden within the ancient walls of the fortresses and shrouded in a sense of mystery and fascination.^[1]

9 Hidden Passageways

Many medieval fortresses harbored enigmatic secrets concealed within their stout walls. Hidden passageways, known only to a select few, played a crucial role in the strategic defense and escape mechanisms of these imposing structures. These covert routes provided defenders with the means to navigate undetected or flee during sieges, confounding their adversaries and turning the tide of battle. Such clandestine tunnels and corridors formed an intricate network, ensuring the survival of those within the fortress and serving as a testament to the ingenuity and resourcefulness of medieval castle builders.

Medieval fortresses have intrigued generations with their enigmatic allure, captivating imaginations and evoking a sense of mystery. These architectural marvels incorporated hidden passages and secret chambers, each with its own purpose and intrigue. These concealed spaces held valuable insights into the lives and concerns of castle inhabitants, revealing glimpses of a bygone era and the challenges they faced.

The hidden passageways of medieval fortresses stand as a testament to the secrets of the past, whispering tales of bravery, survival, and the timeless allure of the unknown.^[2]

8 False Entrances

Ancient medieval fortresses harbored intriguing secrets, including deceptive entrances designed to confound and mislead would-be attackers. These false entrances, cleverly constructed, often led invaders to dead ends or traps, granting a tactical advantage to the defenders. A fortress’s deceptive entrance could be a disguised gate or a concealed passage purposefully designed to confuse and frustrate enemies. These strategic illusions created a sense of mystery and uncertainty, leaving attackers vulnerable and susceptible to counterattacks. The element of surprise was a powerful weapon employed by the defenders of ancient medieval fortresses, heightening the enigmatic aura surrounding these formidable strongholds.

The ingenious design of false entrances exemplifies the resourcefulness and ingenuity of ancient castle builders. These deceptions played a significant role in castle defense, serving as a means to outwit and thwart potential invaders. By leading attackers astray or luring them into traps, these false entrances provided defenders with a crucial advantage, enabling them to control the battlefield and safeguard the fortress. The secrets hidden within these false entrances contribute to the mysterious allure of ancient medieval fortresses, reminding us of the creative tactics employed to protect these monumental structures throughout history.^[3]

7 Acoustic Warfare

Within the ancient medieval fortresses, a mysterious form of warfare unfolded through strategic architectural designs aimed at manipulating sound. These fortresses employed specific shaping of walls, chambers, and tunnels to create echoing effects, disrupting communication and coordination among potential intruders. The deliberate use of acoustics added an enigmatic element to these strongholds, impeding the effectiveness of attackers and enhancing the defenders’ advantage. The echoes bouncing off the walls created a disorienting atmosphere, shrouding the fortress in an eerie ambiance and leaving invaders unsure of their surroundings.

The utilization of acoustic warfare in ancient medieval fortresses showcases the innovative strategies employed in defensive architecture. By harnessing the power of sound, these fortifications could sow confusion and hinder the progress of assailants. The deliberate shaping of certain structures to amplify and distort sound added an intriguing dimension to the secrets of these ancient strongholds.

The mastery of acoustic warfare allowed defenders to exploit the natural environment to their advantage, further enhancing the mystique surrounding these fascinating medieval fortresses.^[4]

6 Trapdoors and Trickery

Ancient medieval fortresses harbored a multitude of secrets, employing ingenious trapdoors and deceptive mechanisms to outsmart invaders. These hidden tricks played a crucial role in safeguarding the fortress and catching intruders off guard. False floors, disguised entrances, and concealed pitfalls were just a few of the tactics used to confound and confuse potential assailants, ensuring the defenders held the upper hand. These secret mechanisms were designed with great precision, reflecting the castle inhabitants’ resourcefulness and their determination to protect their stronghold.

The implementation of trapdoors and trickery in ancient medieval fortresses demonstrates the strategic brilliance of their architects. These hidden devices and concealed traps created an aura of mystery and danger within the fortress walls, deterring intruders and thwarting their progress. The secrets held within these fortresses showcased the cunning and innovation employed by the defenders, adding an air of mystery and intrigue to these formidable structures.

Exploring the secrets of trapdoors and deceptive mechanisms provides a glimpse into the ingenious tactics used in ancient medieval warfare, revealing the lengths that castle inhabitants went to ensure the safety and security of their stronghold.^[5]

5 Secret Rooms and Chambers

Behind the formidable walls of ancient medieval fortresses, secrets lay hidden within secret rooms and chambers. These concealed spaces provided sanctuary for important individuals or safeguarded precious valuables shrouded in the fortress’s secretive past. These hidden compartments served various purposes, serving as clandestine meeting places or concealed storage spaces. Exploring these covert rooms unveils the intriguing history and mysteries that surround these ancient fortresses.

Medieval castles were not merely fortifications but also centers of intrigue, and secret rooms and chambers were an integral part of their architecture. These hidden spaces played a crucial role in defense, escape, and the preservation of valuable possessions. From the Queen’s Chamber in the Tower of London to the Secret Room at Château de Brissac, these hidden compartments continue to captivate our imagination, revealing the secrets and stories of the past.

The discovery of these covert rooms within ancient medieval fortresses sheds light on the intricate design and fascinating history that lies beneath the surface, reminding us of the hidden wonders that await within these architectural marvels.^[6]

4 Whispering Galleries

Whispering galleries—mysterious architectural features found within ancient medieval fortresses—continue to intrigue historians and visitors alike. These curved passageways or chambers possess a unique acoustic property, allowing whispers to travel astonishingly clear across long distances. The purpose behind these whispering galleries remains shrouded in mystery, leaving us to speculate on their significance.

Legends and stories surrounding whispering galleries evoke images of clandestine conversations, secretive exchanges of information, and hidden romance. Places like the Loggia dei Mercanti beneath Milan’s Palazzo della Ragione and the Whispering Gallery at St Paul’s Cathedral in London offer immersive experiences where whispers are carried effortlessly through the air, inviting us to indulge in the intrigue and enigma they hold.

Whispering galleries are not limited to medieval fortresses alone; they can be found in various locations around the world. From the Gol Gumbaz Mausoleum in Vijayapura to the Grand Central Terminal in New York, these curved architectural wonders provide captivating acoustic experiences. St. Paul’s Cathedral in London features a renowned whispering gallery within Christopher Wren’s grand dome, where whispers can be heard clearly across the circular walkway.

Other notable whispering galleries include the Lovers Bench in Spain, the Echo Wall at the Temple of Heaven in Beijing, and the Whispering Arch in Görlitz, Germany. These remarkable structures continue to amaze and captivate visitors, offering a glimpse into the marvels of architectural design and the mysteries of sound [8][9]. ^[7]

3 Treacherous Staircases

Treacherous staircases were cleverly incorporated into some ancient medieval fortresses to impede and confuse potential attackers. These staircases were intentionally designed with uneven steps, hidden sections, or changing directions, creating obstacles that could trip up and slow down invaders. The treacherous nature of these staircases added an element of mystery and danger to the fortress, making it challenging for assailants to navigate the stronghold and reach their intended targets. The strategic placement of these deceptive staircases showcased the ingenuity of medieval fortress design, leaving attackers vulnerable and giving defenders an advantage in repelling sieges.

It is worth noting that there is a misconception surrounding medieval spiral staircases, particularly the belief that they were designed clockwise to favor right-handed defenders in combat. However, this notion lacks historical evidence and is not supported by primary medieval sources. The primary focus of fortress defense was to prevent attackers from entering, making staircase design less relevant for fighting purposes.

The actual purpose of the clockwise design was likely rooted in everyday safety and practicality, allowing right-handed individuals to maintain balance while descending. Nonetheless, the presence of treacherous staircases in ancient medieval fortresses remains a captivating aspect of their architecture, adding to the enigmatic aura that surrounds these historic structures.^[8]

2 Concealed Armories

Medieval fortresses held their share of secrets, and one of the most intriguing was the concealed armory. These hidden weapon caches were cleverly tucked away within the fortress, concealed within walls, floors, or secret compartments. The purpose of these concealed armories was to ensure that defenders could arm themselves swiftly during a siege, catching their foes by surprise. The hidden caches allowed defenders to access weapons and supplies without revealing their location, adding an element of mystery to the fortress’s defense strategy. It highlights the importance of surprise and preparedness in protecting these formidable structures.

Fortresses employed various tactics to safeguard their concealed armories. Secret compartments within walls or floors provided discreet storage for weapons, shields, and ammunition, keeping them hidden from view. These hidden weapon caches allowed defenders to arm themselves quickly, even when the castle was under attack. By keeping the location of the armory a secret, fortresses enhanced their defense capabilities and increased the element of surprise during a siege. The concealed armories were an essential part of the fortress’s overall strategy, ensuring that defenders had immediate access to weapons when they needed them most, catching their foes off guard and potentially turning the tide of battle.^[9]

1 Inaccessible Towers

Within the ancient medieval fortresses of yore, a veil of mystery surrounds the enigmatic inaccessible towers. These towers, intentionally built without staircases or entrances, remain shrouded in secrets. Their purpose, lost to the annals of time, sparks curiosity and speculation. It is believed that these isolated towers served as vantage points, providing an unparalleled view of the surroundings or as the final bastions of defense during times of siege. The absence of staircases or accessible entrances only deepens the intrigue surrounding these towers, leaving behind a lingering aura of mystery that adds to the mystique of fortress design.

In the realm of ancient medieval fortresses, inaccessible towers stand as silent sentinels, guarding their secrets with steadfast resolve. Perched high above the fortifications, these tower enigmas tantalize the imagination and hint at their hidden purpose. Whether they served as watchtowers or held crucial defensive functions, the true intentions of these towers remain veiled, lost to the passage of time.

Their isolation adds an air of intrigue, stirring the imagination and inviting exploration into the enigmatic world of ancient medieval fortresses. These inaccessible towers continue to stand as silent witnesses, beckoning adventurers to uncover their secrets and unravel the mysteries that lie within the heart of these ancient fortresses.^[10]