“Medicine” is defined as “the science and art dealing with the maintenance of health and the prevention, alleviation, or cure of disease.” But what is it called when intended “medicines” accidentally end up causing disease and detracting from your overall state of well-being? Ironically, “poison” perhaps. Let’s look at 10 such documented examples in human medical history.

Today, doctors use Botox and collagen to rejuvenate faces. They also use silicone inserts to enhance breast size. But the history of wrinkle reduction and breast implants actually starts much earlier than people realize. The first recorded attempts at wrinkle removal and artificial breast enhancement were carried out prior to the 1900s. The procedure involved injecting paraffin wax directly into the wrinkled area to smooth it out, or directly into the breast to increase its volume. But the practice quickly fell out of favor for good reason. Harsh infections were a common side effect of this primitive technique. It also caused the formation of hard, painful lumps known as paraffinomas. So in an effort to enhance the woman’s breasts, the procedure actually left them hard, misshaped, and more unattractive.

Psychedelics like lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) and MDMA (ecstasy) have a complicated history of being used as potential treatments for mental illness that dates back to the early 20th century. Researchers studied LSD therapy in the 1950s and 1960s. They published numerous clinical papers and tested more than 40,000 patients. The problem they found, with using psychedelics to treat mental health problems, is their potential to actually cause psychiatric disorders. LSD can trigger panic attacks or feelings of extreme anxiety, colloquially referred to as a “bad trip”. Therefore, people with such conditions as schizophrenia and depression can actually worsen with LSD. There are also cases of LSD inducing a psychosis in people who appeared to be healthy before taking LSD. In most cases, the psychosis-like reaction is of short duration, but in other cases it was chronic. The psychiatric drugs can in fact trigger latent mental conditions that would not have manifested otherwise. Not surprisingly, the Controlled Substances Act of 1970 prohibited the drug’s medical use.

In case you needed a reminder that really bad ideas for cures don’t have to come from thousands of years ago, let me remind you of radium water (radioactive water). Advertisements that touted preparing radioactive drinking water at home were common promotions for radiation therapy around 1913. Maybe the reason this bad idea didn’t show up until the 20th century was because we didn’t know about radioactivity until then. But once we discovered it, we sure did move fast. The makers of a whole variety of radioactive cures insisted that the high-energy water could cure everything from arthritis to high blood pressure to acne. Unfortunately, side effects like cancer, loss of hair and teeth, decaying bones, and fatigue, (all the symptoms of radiation poisoning) also went hand in hand with this “miracle cure.” Luckily, radium is now understood to be a serious health hazard.

In the early 1900s, John Brinkley became one of the richest doctors in America, despite having no medical qualifications. He claimed he could cure impotence, infertility, and other sexual problems by surgically implanting goat testicles into a man’s scrotum. The surgery had no scientific merit and was extremely dangerous. Perhaps the craziest part is how he convinced so many patients to go along with it, and pay handsomely as well. In 1913, at his newly opened 16-room clinic, Brinkley began to perform countless operations he claimed would restore male virility and fertility through implanting the testicular glands of goats in his male patients at a cost of $750 per operation ($8,600 in current value). Not surprisingly, the ill-conceived procedure actually caused impotence and hormonal problems. Dozens of patients died and many others suffered horrible infections.

Arsenic may be a well-known poison, but for centuries it was used as a medicine. In traditional Chinese medicine, arsenic is known as Pi Shuang. Arsenic was also a key ingredient in many patent medicines, including Fowler’s Solution, a purported cure for malaria and syphilis in use from the late 18th century until the 1950s. Another arsenic-containing patent medicine, Donovan’s Solution, was used to treat arthritis and diabetes. Victorian women also used arsenic as a cosmetic. The problem with all these treatments was of course, the arsenic poisoning. Arsenic can kill humans quickly if consumed in large amounts. Small but long-term exposure can lead to a much slower death or other illness. For example, studies have linked prolonged arsenic exposure to cancer, diabetes and liver disease.

In ancient Egypt, the contraceptive of choice was crocodile dung. Dried dung was inserted into the vagina, the idea being that it would soften as it reached body temperature to form an impenetrable barrier. There are countless other examples throughout history of dung being used for medicinal purposes. In addition to the Egyptians, certain African cultures used elephant dung as a contraceptive, apparently following the crocodile dung theme. In 17th-century England, doctors advised chicken dung as a cure for baldness. In India, cosmetics and potions laced with cow dung have been as cures for everything from cancer to acne. A make-it-yourself remedy to ease a sore throat once included the ingredient graecum (which is dried dog dung), as written in the book “The Popularization of Medicine, 1650-1850.” The problem with using dung as a medicine is its tendency to harbor bacteria, which in turn actually causes a large variety of diseases. In fact, contamination of water with fecal matter in developing countries causes an estimated 1.8 million deaths per year.

Famed cure for syphilis, indigestion, old age and almost everything else, mercury was once the most popular medicinal metal. Maybe it was the hypnotic allure of the flowing silver-colored liquid that made it such a hot commodity; the metal found its way into the bloodstreams of some very important people, including Abraham Lincoln, whose fits of rage may have resulted from the mercury in a then-popular blue pill, and the first emperor of China, Qin Shi Huang, who likely died from the mercury-laden pills that he thought would grant him immortality. Once you’ve got mercury in your bloodstream, good luck getting rid of it. The neurotoxic element accumulates over multiple doses. At its worst, mercury poisoning can cause paralysis, insanity, loss of motor control, ulcerations, neurological damage, and death. So in other words, the exact opposite of anti-aging medicine, as it was once considered.

During the 19th Century dieting became big business. Advertising was becoming more and more sophisticated, with more and more diet products being peddled. Not for the squeamish, in the early 1900s the tapeworm diet started to be advertised. Dieters would swallow beef tapeworm cysts, usually in the form of a pill. The theory was that the tapeworms would reach maturity in the intestines and absorb food. This could cause weight loss, along with diarrhea and vomiting. Once a person reached their desired weight they then took an anti-parasitic pill which, they hoped, would kill off the tapeworms. The dieter would then have to excrete the tapeworm, which could cause abdominal and rectal complications. It was risky in many ways. Not only can a tapeworm grow up to 30 feet (9m) in length, they can also cause many illnesses including headaches, eye problems, meningitis, epilepsy and dementia (not the side effects you’re looking for when simply trying to slim down).

The troubling myth that someone infected with an STD can transfer the disease by having sex with a virgin, thus curing themselves, dates back to at least the 16th Century, when the practice was first documented in relation to syphilis and gonorrhea in Europe. The myth continues in some parts of Africa. Needless to say, this treatment accomplishes the exact opposite of its intended purpose. Having intentionally unprotected intercourse will spread STD’s at an alarming rate, not cure them, as the myth would suggest.

Across medieval Europe and the Middle East, corpses were ground into powder and used as medicine. This “mummy powder” was thought to cure many common ailments, such as headaches, coughs, and stomach ulcers. Ironically, it was also used as an antidote for poisoning. 17th-century French surgeon Ambrose Pere helped drive a stake through the heart of the mummy powder craze when he wrote that “not only does this wretched drug do no good, but it causes great pain to the stomach, gives foul-smelling breath, and brings on serious vomiting.” Not to mention the potential diseases that may be lurking in an ancient mummified corpse.

Bonus: Perhaps nothing was wackier than Sir Kenelm Digby’s “Powder of Sympathy.” The powder was intended as a treatment for a very specific injury: sword wounds. It was made of earthworms, pigs’ brains, iron oxide (rust), and bits of mummified corpses, ground into a powder. But here’s the catch, the powder was applied not to the wound itself but to the offending weapon. Digby thought that the strange concoction would somehow encourage the wound itself to heal via a process called “sympathetic magic.”

Ross works as a patent agent and is a long time Listverse fan.

Medicine has come a long way from the “good old days” of garlic-filled masks and astringent herbal teas. Even in relatively recent times, drugs have been used which have horrific effects on the human body. But—and this is a big but—they can and often do work. At the time, they were the best we had, despite the bizarre ways that they could kill you.

Today’s “Big Pharma” has much more stringent regulations than in the early to mid-1900s. All the items on this list are taken from Grollman and Slaughter’s 12th revision of Cushny’s Pharmacology and Therapeutics, an amazing pharmacopoeia of unusual and bizarre old-world drugs.

10 Metrazol

In 1926, F. Hildebrandt tested a new drug on animals and found two primary clinically significant effects. In high doses, it caused epileptic-like convulsions. In more reasonable doses, it merely stimulated the heart and increased respiration in cases of depressant poisoning (i.e., too much chloroform).

Guess what physicians used it for primarily?

If you said “as an antidote to poisoning,” you would be wrong. (After all, we had pure stimulants for that.) Instead, in 1934, scientist Ladislas J. Meduna pioneered its use in humans to induce convulsions to treat mental illness.

His primary interest was in schizophrenia, for which Metrazol was the first officially recognized treatment. But its use in convulsive therapy expanded to other psychiatric disorders such as depression. In general, patients were sent to a hospital, received Metrazol, and waited for its rapid action to begin. Typically, patients could be discharged within a few hours.

It was considered to be an effective treatment for those diagnosed with psychoses lasting less than three years. At the time, the side effects of this treatment were limited but potentially horrendous. They included spinal fractures, tuberculosis, and brain damage. Luckily, Metrazol quickly fell out of fashion. It was replaced by the “much more efficient” electroconvulsive therapy, which has reduced physical side effects.

Despite its horror, Metrazol is still in use today, just not in hospitals. In labs, it is used to induce convulsions or anxiety in rodents to test treatments for similar disorders. There has also been a recent spike in interest surrounding its potential use in the treatment of Down syndrome, although it wouldn’t be curative.^[1]

9 Tribromoethanol

As you might guess by the “ethanol” in the name, tribromoethanol is related to the wonder drink, alcohol. Tribromoethanol has very similar properties, but it is stronger and has a broader range of potential side effects. Cushny’s revised work states that Willstatter first synthesized it in 1923. Later, in 1926, Duisberg used it as an anesthetic.

Rectal administration is remarkably effective. Half the dose is absorbed within 10 minutes and 95 percent within 25 minutes. The effect is predictable: a deep sleep—typically lasting about two and a half hours.

However, there was just one tiny problem: It was almost impossible to alter the hypnotic state. Once you were under, no known drug at the time could wake you. For this reason, tribromoethanol was seldom used. It was just too difficult to control.

Other side effects included injury to the circulatory system, degeneration of the liver and kidneys, slowed metabolism (by around 15 percent), depleted glycogen stores, increased blood sugar levels, and even death.

These days, there are no clinically significant uses for the drug. Instead, it is used to sedate mice in laboratories.^[2]

8 Bulbocapnine

This lovely drug was known to be used in the infamous MKUltra program. Similar in structure to apomorphine, bulbocapnine is found in Corydalis cava. It is one of those exciting drugs with a different effect on different animals. In cold-blooded species, it acts in a similar way to morphine by reducing sensitivity to pain and causing sedation.

In warm-blooded animals, however, bulbocapnine induces catalepsy, which is a stiffening of muscles within a given posture that is unable to be moved. The users are frozen in place.

The more highly developed the animal (humans, apes, dogs, etc.), the more pronounced this condition becomes. Also, the higher the dose, the higher the likelihood that narcolepsy will occur. In many cases, bulbocapnine stimulates the bowels, leading to defecation, and invokes the secretion of saliva. Strangely enough, this only occurs in neutered animals.

Luckily, low doses of around 0.1 mg can be tolerated without ill effect, but bulbocapnine has almost no positive clinical uses. Instead, it is used in laboratories and wicked government torture programs. Nowadays, it is being investigated for its potential use in the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease.^[3]

7 Picrotoxin

You know a drug is going to be fun when it has “toxin” in the name. Picrotoxin is found in the Anamirta cocculus plant. The symptoms from its use were well-known but delayed.

The first signs of poisoning included vomiting, increased salivation, rapid breathing, and a slowed heart rate with palpitations. Following this was unconsciousness and then violent seizures with periods of respiratory paralysis, which only ceased a few moments later. Well, most of the time. There were instances where patients had died of asphyxia when they failed to restart breathing.

Nevertheless, picrotoxin does have its uses. Traditionally, it was used to treat barbiturate poisoning as it was found to have a stimulating effect on anesthetized patients. It is believed that picrotoxin has a competitive action against the neurotransmitters upon which barbiturates act.

Strangely enough, however, comatose patients can tolerate many times the lethal dose without ill effect. In most patients, picrotoxin is given in 1–3 mg doses at regular intervals. The lethal dose can be as low as 0.357 mg/kg, or 28 mg for an 80-kilogram (176 lb) person.

Even so, some comatose patients have been given doses as high as 300 mg within a day or two with no ill effects. In one reported case, 2.134 grams administered over eight days proved nonfatal.^[4]

6 Thymol

Derived from the herb thyme, thymol is one drug that you may recognize as it is one of the constituents in the toothpaste product Euthymol. Traditionally, however, it was used to treat tinea, ringworm, and hookworm infections in humans.

Unfortunately, it has some disturbing side effects when ingested for the treatment of ringworm. Of course, there are the usual poisoning symptoms: nausea, vomiting, and headaches. More unpleasant side effects include a deep depression, paradoxical giddiness, eventual collapse, and possibly death. As always, the key is the dosage: 1–2 grams every couple of hours, followed by a saline purge and emptying of the bowels, is often sufficient and safe.

For the previous skin conditions (tinea and ringworm), a 1:10 preparation of thymol and typically alcohol is applied directly to the skin which eventually rids the patient of the disease. This is primarily because thymol possesses antimicrobial properties. (Thus, it is used in toothpaste.)^[5]

However, of all the spices, thyme isn’t the most effective. In order of their power to kill microbes, some favorite herbs with such properties are oregano, clove, coriander, cinnamon, and then thyme. So if you’re thinking of spicing up your lunch when you have a cold, you’d be better off with a carrot and coriander soup than a cinnamon latte.

5 Isonipecaine

In the search for opioid-like painkillers, isonipecaine was developed by and introduced by Eisted and Schaumann in 1939. It is perhaps better known under its other name, pethidine, as a common painkiller used in modern maternity wards for women in labor.

Although isonipecaine is an excellent painkiller known for its mild respiratory depression (compared with morphine) and suppressed vomiting reflex, it is also known for its high rates of euphoria (up to 90 percent) and potential addiction liability when used chronically.

In general, however, its side effects profile is far superior to those of morphine and similar natural opiates. Isonipecaine has little to no effect on respiration, circulation, or metabolic processes.

It is just a shame that it is short-acting (peaking in 45 minutes and lasting around two hours) and less effective than a standard starting dose of morphine. We have also discovered today that isonipecaine is just as addictive despite earlier claims of its lower addiction liability.

It is also grossly toxic in cases of overdoses. If dosed highly multiple times in a short period (3-4 hours), isonipecaine can cause disorientation, rapid heartbeat, and severe respiratory depression.

Its use in labor is well established. However, as it has a less depressive effect on respiration than morphine or diamorphine, isonipecaine is thus comparatively safer for the infant as well as the mother.^[6]

Given that it also acts on the smooth muscles within the body, isonipecaine possesses muscle relaxant properties, which can be advantageous in reducing tension and pain during contractions. However, the drug does prolong labor and have an effect on the baby.

4 Intocostrin

Alongside the use of Metrazol in electroconvulsive therapy was another critical drug: introcostrin.

It’s worth noting that introcostrin is derived from curare, which was used by native South Americans in a poison concoction to lace the tips of their arrows when hunting. Curare stops all voluntary movement.

As it was put by Cushny et al.: “The muscles give way one after another until the animal lies helpless on the ground . . . and becomes totally paralyzed.”

Eventually, it suffocates the victim when the respiratory system ceases to function. In essence, this is a fatal form of locked-in syndrome. So yeah, deadly stuff. Fun fact: Oral ingestion is practically harmless. So you can suck the poison out of a wound and have a chance of survival.

Curare has minimal therapeutic use. It is entirely dependent on getting a dose high enough to relax muscles but not freeze breathing. This is a tricky process, so it is often avoided in favor of intocostrin.

As it was much easier to control and dose, intocostrin was chiefly used to relax patients undergoing convulsive or electroconvulsive therapy. The drug reduced the severity of the violent convulsions. This was generally thought to lower the prevalence of spinal fractures, a significant issue for such patients. Intocostrin also reduces spasms and is used as an adjunct agent for anesthesia.^[7]

3 Dinitrophenol

This is one of those drugs that seemed like a great idea at the time. However, it soon became apparent that there were significant issues with its use. Dinitrophenol was first discovered during World War I in munitions workers who died from contact with the chemical. You’d think that would be the end of the matter, but the drug was quickly investigated to see if there were any therapeutic uses.

Applied at a dose of 3–5 mg per kilogram of body weight, dinitrophenol was found to increase metabolism by 20–30 percent for days on end as a result of increased oxygen consumption. This seemed to be a tremendous potential treatment for obesity.

However, as the dose slowly crept up, it could begin to induce profuse sweating and an increase in body temperature by up to 3 degrees Celsius (5.4 °F). In toxic doses, this was followed by numerous symptoms including rapid breathing.

This latter problem and the increased oxygen requirement eventually meant that the patient’s breathing couldn’t possibly keep up with and supply the body’s oxygen needs. Hypoxia could develop along with a fever of 43 degrees Celsius (109 °F) or more—and that’s just the start. Common side effects at standard doses included a range of internal and external illnesses which could easily result in death.^[8]

Although used for a time to treat obesity, dinitrophenol quickly fell out of favor due to its highly toxic chronic effects and potential for fatal syndromes. In fact, its primary use these days is as a pesticide or as part of an explosive mixture called shellite.

2 Ergot

Ergot is an infamous fungus that grows on rye and other grasses such as wheat. This fungus is known to cause the notorious gangrenous condition of ergotism (aka “St. Anthony’s Fire”). This may be partially responsible for the witch hunts in the Middle Ages as symptoms can include psychoses and delirium.

Despite this, it did and still does have its therapeutic uses.^[9] Ergot is powerful at inducing contractions of the uterus, inducing labor, or causing abortions.

However, it is preferable that it only be used after the second stage of labor, after the placenta has been delivered, to ensure that the child does not suffocate. When applied at this stage, ergot reduces bleeding and prevents postpartum hemorrhaging.

Indeed, it was believed to be useful in all cases of internal hemorrhaging since it contracts the walls of blood vessels and reduces bleeding. However, prolonged treatment can quickly lead to the development of gangrene. Even so, ergot or a derivative may be useful in the treatment of parkinsonism.

1 Santonin

Bitter to the taste, santonin, a drug developed in the early 1800s, used to be the primary treatment for roundworms and pinworms before being replaced by safer compounds. It continued for a while longer as a treatment for whipworm. However, the drug was completely ineffective against tapeworm.

The side effects were nasty but bizarre and somewhat humorous.^[10] For example, patients reported that their vision was altered. Not in any particularly bad way, but everything took on a blue tint.

This was very brief before another visual disturbance took effect. Bright objects appeared to have illustrious yellow auras, blues turned to greens, and the previous blues would get darker and darker until they were indistinguishable from black. The more santonin that was ingested, the more vivid and intense these perceptions were.

In addition, patients experienced nausea, vomiting, and some confusion. In higher doses, convulsions occurred with the potential for asphyxia. The drug is also excreted in almost every way possible: in the feces with the worms, in the urine which is turned neon yellow, and even in sweat which takes on a yellow tinge.

The theory of how santonin kills the parasites can be summarized simply: It kills them before it kills you.

Freelance researcher and writer on a range of topics. I’m always looking for new work, so feel free to contact me at [email protected] with any ideas!

When it comes to medicine, everybody seems to have an opinion. Regardless of background, status, or financial situation, everybody has to worry about their health, so the shared interest makes a lot of sense. With so much information out there, it can be easy to get lost in the chaos, particularly debates around conventional and alternative medicines.

What is alternative medicine, anyway? It depends on who you ask, but when you boil it down, it’s just any sort of treatment you wouldn’t normally expect to undergo in your family doctor’s office. It might be an herbal supplement that’s still being studied or just an option that’s not practiced a whole lot in some parts of the world. While complementary medicine refers to something done in addition to traditional treatment, alternate medicine is done instead of the conventional method. Regardless, people can get pretty emotional when you challenge their medical claims. Always speak to your medical provider before trying any alternative medicine regimen. Without further ado, here are ten alternative medicines people swear by.

10 Aromatherapy

Ah, can you smell the healing? You’d be hard-pressed these days to find somebody who has never heard of essential oils or aromatherapy. According to the National Institute of Health, aromatherapy is a type of alternative medicine that uses plant oils to promote healing, stress relief, and a sense of well-being.

So, does it work? Well, again, it seems to depend on who you ask, but there does seem to be research confirming the effectiveness of essential oils when it comes to treating specific mild ailments like stress or trouble falling asleep.

Aromatherapy can involve a long list of essential oils, from the pleasantly-scented peppermint oil to oregano oil, which can supposedly help with digestion.

9 Ghost Peppers

You might know an elderly member in your family who struggles with arthritis or joint pain. Maybe you personally experience aches and pains in your joints and wonder if there are any dietary changes you might be able to make to help yourself feel better. As it turns out, maybe you can!

The key is a substance called capsaicin. It is found not only in ghost peppers but in all chili peppers, so if you need a milder solution, you could just pour yourself a nice big bowl of jalapenos or perhaps add a little hot sauce to your morning oatmeal (Okay, please don’t do that last one). Capsaicin seems to have the benefit of relieving joint pain due to the body’s reaction to the substance when used as a topical solution, so just eating a bunch of these peppers might not actually be effective, but the research is in the works. It seems to work by a unique interaction with pain receptors, or maybe if you eat enough of them, your mouth will be so on fire that you just won’t notice the joint pain anymore.

In any case, some people swear by the health benefits of chili peppers, often crediting it with pain relief. I suppose if you like spicy food, it won’t hurt much to give this alternate medicine a go, even if it lands you spending a little extra time in the bathroom.

8 Green Tea Extract

The weight-loss industry is a multi-billion dollar market. There could be a variety of reasons for this, from the fact that people decide to prioritize their health but then want to take shortcuts to the fact that a lot of supplements and routines on the market don’t necessarily do what they say they’re going to do.

In any case, while there are plenty of ridiculous diet fads out there, there does seem to be some promising information and research on the effect of green tea extract on the body, at least in combination with a good diet and moderate exercise. Which does sort of put it in the “complementary” category, but enough people swear by it that it made the list. Does it burn fat? Maybe. Even if you’re not looking to burn fat, many claim green tea extract also helps with gut inflammation, which could potentially give the appearance of burning fat.

The claims about green tea go beyond mere fat burning, with some people making some pretty miraculous claims about its ability to help with an upset stomach, sore throat, and quicker healing. Some people have questioned the amount of green tea extract you ought to have before it’s dangerous. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend taking the whole bottle, and it does have caffeine, so be careful if you decide to test this one yourself.

7 Chelation Therapy

Chelation therapy used to be considered a traditional medicinal treatment process. However, there is also a sort of “alternative” approach with a different view of toxins. The idea behind chelation therapy is that the body deals with pollutants that need to be removed. Traditionally, chelation therapy was used to “pull out” (as chelation means) toxins in the body, such as to treat a child who has swallowed lead. The idea that people might use this preventatively is what’s controversial.

6 Acupuncture

Though acupuncture is a perfectly acceptable, traditional medicine in Eastern cultures and has been around for a long time, it is still not a well-known “mainstream” treatment in the West. Chinese practitioners say the human body has more than 2,000 acupuncture points connected throughout the body via the bloodstream. The practice of acupuncture in Chinese medicine aims to allow something called the Qi to flow more efficiently throughout the body.

The idea behind why and how acupuncture works seems a bit more philosophical than logical to our Western-trained ear. Still, it has certainly become more prevalent in places like the United States, as there are plenty of specialized centers you can go to for that type of treatment.

It seems to have gained popularity in recent years, particularly for athletes who need to recover after a hard day at the gym. According to a Fox News report, it has been popular among celebrities for quite a while but was reportedly growing in popularity among everyday Americans in recent years, increasing by approximately 6 million users between 2002 and 2007. One reason for the increase in popularity and availability today might be that, even if there continues to be debate over its efficacy, it is a relatively safe treatment, having very few side effects.

5 Ashwagandha

If you’ve never heard of Ashwagandha or knew how to spell it, here you are: a brand new medicine people swear by. Okay, so it’s not exactly new, but its use is trending.

Ashwagandha, also called the winter cherry, is a fruit from an evergreen shrub growing in India, the Middle East, and Africa. The claims about this plant are no small feat for a little shrub, ranging from better sleep to a regulated heart rate. The idea is that it works by reducing inflammation, so it might even be a promising solution for healing from infection.

You can pick it up in capsule form, gummy form, or even mixed in a mushroom-based tea in the western world, all likely available at your local supermarket. Watch the video to learn how to take it properly and in the most cost-effective dose.

4 CBD Oil

Thought you could make it through an article on alternate medicine without encountering CBD oil? You thought wrong. The fact is, CBD products have gained popularity in recent years, with the rise of attention to medical marijuana. To be clear, this is not the same thing; CBD oil does not have the same components as medical marijuana. It can be taken as a pill or as a topical medicine.

As for the actual benefits of CBD, it is hard to say. It is still under scrutiny by medical researchers at institutions like Harvard to determine how it compares to traditional medicine. Still, the benefits do seem to include pain relief, better sleep, decreased anxiety, and possibly even better results with addiction treatment from other substances. Listen to a podcast or two for long enough, and you’ll realize how popular this particular remedy is. As medical marijuana and CBD products gain more popularity across the country, perhaps their use will become more widespread as we learn more.

3 “Natural” Male-Enhancement Drugs/Herbal Viagra

The category of alternate male enhancement treatments, including herbal supplements, can be a little embarrassing to talk about. Maybe that’s why so many guys search for natural remedies rather than talking to their doctor about these personal problems. However, erectile dysfunction, or ED, is an incredibly common problem and nothing to be ashamed of. According to this Verywell health article, the condition affects approximately 30 million men in the U.S.

As with any other medical usage, you should ask your doctor before simply deciding to treat yourself “naturally.” Why? While many consider natural treatments and herbal products safer, that is not necessarily the case. Be aware of the scams out there just looking to take advantage of you, but hey, if you can treat the problem naturally and get back to a more fulfilling bedroom experience while saving some money on medication in the process, why not? In addition to these natural supplements, there is plenty of evidence that basic self-care can also help to decrease instances of ED.

2 Hydrotherapy

You might have noticed a theme in this list: Almost every treatment solves problems related to stress, whether directly or indirectly. Hydrotherapy is yet another example, which appears to decrease cortisol.

Hydrotherapy can involve hot or cold water to promote healing. Water takes your body weight off your skeleton, so water exercises can be a great way to work out without putting excess pressure on your bones and joints. Although hydrotherapy has been around for centuries, it has evolved with the healthcare industry introducing new hydrotherapy-promoting products all the time, like the Jacuzzi solution.

The good thing is, you can do some hydrotherapy on your own without going to any special clinic. For example, an ice bath after a workout is one form of hydrotherapy.

1 Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatment

Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatment (HBOT) involves the treatment of tissue damage by helping the body take in a greater amount of oxygen. The air that we normally inhale is about 20% oxygen. Inside something called a hyperbaric chamber, a patient takes in 100% pure oxygen.

This treatment is currently limited to about ten to fifteen conditions, depending on who is speaking. This treatment has been studied and verified to show statistically superior results over those patients who did not receive hyperbaric treatment.

The treatment seems to work well for athletes recovering from a lot of strain on the body or those with physically demanding jobs who need faster healing.

If you’re like us and enjoy wasting time on the internet, you’re probably well aware of patent medicines. According to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History, patent medicines were first produced as special remedies in England in the late 17th century, with “letters patent” granted by the royal crown to give monopolies to the manufacturers. In time, people started using the phrase “patent medicines” to refer to any old over-the-counter drug. American colonists, inspired by British druggists, began peddling their own patent medicines, and the cure-all, instant-fix craze reached its peak from about 1850 to 1900.

Many patent medicines are easy targets for humor thanks to dangerous ingredients like heroin and morphine. Things changed a bit after the U.S. government cracked down with the Food and Drugs Act in 1906, and you started seeing products like this baby medicine with a label touting the fact that it “contains no opiates.” Suddenly, relative safety became a selling point. And, in fact, the use of harmful ingredients early on had created a whole new market for more patent medicines that purported to cure people of the addictions they’d developed.

For the most part, however, this list is not about those kinds of patent medicines. It’s about the ones with the most bizarre names and backstories we could find – the ones you don’t hear much about.

10. Uncle Ben Jo’s Bell Tongue Syrup

Let’s dive right in with a concoction that sounds and looks kind of like it was dreamed up by a crazy man deep in the sticks of South America. It sounds and looks like that because it was. Uncle Ben Jo, whoever he was, hit the market in the 1870s with a wondrous potion called Bell Tongue Syrup, which he reportedly derived from the Andean bell-tongue plant, whatever that was.

Bell Tongue Syrup, as prepared by our fearless bald and bearded hero, could cure most anything affecting a human in the 19th century. From the bottle’s label we learn that flatulency, brain diseases, tumors, and even epilepsy could all be positively reversed with no more than a half teaspoon taken thrice daily. Just for good measure, the label threw in “general debility” to make sure every ailment under the sun was covered.

For several years, issues of the American Agriculturist featured the rants of editors who’d been bombarded with reader letters about quack medicines and were sick of it. The September section of Volume 32 (1873) sarcastically describes “dear old Uncle Ben Jo” and states that “no botanist ever saw anything like” his so-called bell-tongue plant. A year later, and probably a good deal more frustrated, the editors called the subject “shallow nonsense.” And then, in the 1876 issue, they celebrated the fact that for months nobody had come forward with the next great medicinal remedy that would heal everyone from everything.

Hopefully they enjoyed their brief respite, because there were still a lot of years’ worth of dubious patent medicines ahead of them.

9. Zoa-Phora

Now we turn to Zoa-Phora, formerly called Dr. Pengelly’s Woman’s Friend. This helpful product was brewed up in Kalamazoo, Michigan, “for all forms of female weakness” and was a hit for a few decades starting around 1870. According to the October 2010 Kalamazoo Antique Bottle Club News, it contained enough alcohol to qualify as liquor. But the interesting part here isn’t the alcohol; it’s the fact that Dr. Pengelly’s wife, Mary, was a key player in Kalamazoo’s Christian temperance movement. Perhaps she was not such a fan of her husband’s Woman’s Friend?

A treasure hunter dug up a lead printing plate for a 19th-century Zoa-Phora advertisement, and was later able to locate an ad it had been used to print in an 1882 issue of The Marshall Statesman. Turns out it offered three glowing reviews of the remedy/booze, one of which claimed total relief from 16 years of spasmodic headaches and nervous exhaustion in less than two hours. “What Zoa Phora won’t do for womankind no medicine will,” boasts an ad from The Ann Arbor Argus in 1895. Sure thing, doc.

8. Dr. Shoop’s Green Salve

Clarendon I. Shoop had a good thing going in Racine, Wisconsin, with a little business he called Dr. Shoop’s Family Medicine Company (later Dr. Shoop Laboratories). Green Salve, an ointment for the lips and skin, was one of many remedies and cures Shoop sold with great success at his medicine shop.

Imagine for a moment smearing yourself with green stuff made by some dude named Shoop. Who in the world would not want to do that? It “makes lips and skin like velvet,” after all. “To have beautiful, pink, velvet-like lips, apply at bedtime a coating of Dr. Shoop’s Green Salve,” commands an ad in a 1906 issue of The Tazewell Republican, although honestly we would expect our lips to turn green instead of pink.

As did many makers of patent medicines, Shoop relied on aggressive advertising to promote his products, at one point partnering with copywriting legend Claude C. Hopkins for a nationwide direct-mail campaign. But the thing that set Shoop apart from many of the patent medicine pushers of his day (read: quacks) was the fact that he was an actual physician. Even though some of his products did contain alcohol and marijuana and the occasional poisonous plant, for the most part he legitimately wanted to help people feel better, and tried to avoid addictive ingredients. “Dr. Shoop all along has bitterly opposed the use of all opiates or narcotics,” reads another ad for his Cough Cure in that Republican issue.

7. Moses Dame’s Wine of the Woods

In case just hearing the words “Moses Dame’s Wine of the Woods” didn’t strike fear into the hearts of men, the Moses Dame Company of Danbury, Connecticut, made sure to include an illustration on its bottles confirming that yes, this here beverage was brewed in a haunted fen and it will likely make you crazy. No meat in this medicine; it’s “a purely vegetable remedy for all diseases arising from derangement of stomach, liver, or blood.” One dollar a bottle; six for $5. Drink first and ask questions later, assuming you’re still alive.

The Moses Dame Company was, beginning in the early 1870s, presided over by a certain Isaac “Ike” Ives, a member of the highly influential Ives clan that owned and operated a smattering of successful businesses in Danbury over the years. Ike was a bit eccentric; he once gave a speech before the entire town pretending to be the traveler and lecturer George Francis “Express” Train when the latter failed to show at the appointed time. (Ike apparently fooled the whole crowd.)

“Where did you buy your lumber?” someone once asked, as reported by the local newspaper in 1874. The response indicated Ike: “From that crazy fellow at White Street bridge.” Maybe he’d been drinking too much of his own medicine.

6. Clark Stanley’s Snake Oil Liniment

The original snake oil salesmen were exactly what the name says – people with bad intentions hawking various healing oils and remedies supposedly made with actual snake oil. This particular practice was just another instance of Americans taking something legit from another culture and ruining it. In this case, they ruined the snake oil remedies brought from Asia by Chinese laborers working on the Transcontinental Railroad.

The Chinese had actual snake oil medicine that truly helped fight inflammation. It was made of oil from the Chinese water snake, but since the Chinese water snake did not exist in the U.S. and therefore could not be easily exploited by injudicious Americans, injudicious Americans simply went after something else – the rattlesnake.

Cure-all companies and entrepreneurs began harvesting these innocent serpents for medicine during the 19th century. One man in particular stood out for his particularly daft antics – Clark Stanley, who called himself the Rattlesnake King. Stanley made a name for himself at the 1893 World’s Columbian Expo in Chicago by murdering a bunch of snakes before a crowd, boiling them, and using the fat to mix up a liniment right on the spot. “A wonderful pain destroying compound,” this liniment.

Except, as by now you’ve certainly guessed, it was all just showmanship. Aside from maybe those few batches made in Chicago, Clark Stanley’s Snake Oil Liniment had exactly zero percent snake oil. It also didn’t destroy pain. A decade after the Food and Drugs Act, the feds finally got around to investigating this Stanley character, and they fined him $20 for falsely and fraudulently representing his product. Thanks in part to the efforts of Stanley and the other original snake-oil salesmen, we now have a fine metaphor for referring to men and women of dishonest caliber.

5. Fettle

If you’ve been interested of late in feeling like a good old-fashioned fighting cock, well, have we got the patent medicine for you. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Fettle, a superior tonic for the stomach, an ethical and efficable preparation! THE FOE OF INDIGESTION AND THE ALLY OF GOOD HEALTH. And yes, it “makes you feel like a fighting cock,” too. Basically everything a decent American would need to dash through the Roaring Twenties and then pass out on the steps of the Great Depression. (More on drunkenness in a bit.)

The Gettysburg Times from Dec. 21, 1920, has an excellent piece of medical advertising titled “When ‘Off Your Feed’: It’s The World’s Stomach, Not Its Heart That Is Suffering” that proposes Fettle as the final fix for the evils of indigestion. “When You’re fagged out, ‘off your feed’, and your digestive apparatus fails to function properly, you can trace the trouble to indigestion.” This is a bad situation, the ad said, but definitely not your fault. And also, did you know that in such condition “poisonous substances are being forced into your blood” and “your whole system is susceptible to attack by disease germs”? Fortunately there is Fettle for you, which you are going to need if you plan on surviving 12 days of Christmas with the in-laws, not to mention life in general.

“Fettle is not a beverage,” the label is careful to clarify. “Not a substitute for Alcoholic Stimulant.” Four lines later we find the warning: alcoholic content 52% by volume. Yep, that’ll do it.

4. Kendall’s Spavin Cure for Human Flesh

Now, with this one, you may be thinking something along the lines of “What is wrong with human flesh and why do I need to be cured from it? And what is spavin?” Well, Merriam-Webster defines spavin as a “swelling; especially a bony enlargement of the hock of a horse associated with strain.” Considering Kendall’s Spavin Cure by itself, then, we have a medication for a horse’s swollen hind-leg joint.

The “human flesh” part comes later. In the case of Dr. B.J. Kendall and his namesake Enosburg Falls, Vermont, company, this patent medicine was marketed as a cure for various ailments in racehorses and in humans. “Human flesh” simply indicates that the bottle was intended for people. One ad specifies that the cure has been “Refined, expressly for Human Flesh, in red wrappers … In light wrappers, for Animals … That in light wrappers can be used with perfect safety on human flesh, if desired.” Then there are these stupendously racist trade cards for Kendall’s Spavin Cure. Straight from the horse’s mouth: “In all my ‘sperience in the hoss line I nebber seed sich ‘provement in a animile afore. Facts am stranger dan fiction.”

Kendall himself did not do so well financially in the long run, but his company thrived in small-town Enosburg, and was influential enough for the local semipro baseball team to borrow its name – the Enosburg Falls Spavin Curers.

3. Marshmallow Health Pearls

James May of Naugatuck, Connecticut, established the Diamond Laboratory Company sometime in the late 19th century and started bottling ginger ale as well as manufacturing a variety of delightful marshmallow-themed preparations. May is the man you can thank for Marshmallow Health Pearls – and, later, May’s Health Pearls.

May’s sweet little balls were marketed as “the best remedy known for Biliousness, Sick Headache, Constipation and all Liver, Stomach and Bowel Troubles.” And these “little Cathartic Pearls” were reliable (or at least deliciously charming) enough to last more than 20 years on the patent medicine market, “and no medicine could survive that period without real merit,” according to Diamond Laboratory Co.

Diamond Labs’ cash cow, however, was apparently a different sugary bliss beverage called Marshmallow Cream. Don’t Starve Yourself, man.

2. 666 Salve

Monticello Drug Company spent more than a century manufacturing and marketing its line of “666” products for colds, coughs, aches, and pains to customers across the country – even the ones who made fun of it for literally branding itself with the Mark of the Beast. Deuce of Clubs had a jolly time of things in 1994, pestering a customer service rep with questions and then writing a funny piece about it.

This action resulted in a complaint from certain humorless persons at Monticello, and then later an apologetic and positive follow-up from the president himself. In the process we learned how the company decided to adopt its end-of-days name. As told by Monticello, the story goes back to 1908 and the company’s beginnings. At that time in Jacksonville, Florida, Monticello was just getting started and managed to produce a successful quinine medicine for fever and malaria. The medicine worked out, and as fate would have it the number on the very first order written was 666. People started asking for “that 666 product” and Monticello, recognizing an opportunity to sell its soul to the devil for a hundred years of business success, decided to just slap 666 on other products, too.

“For minor burns, cuts and sores we know of no finer dressing than 666 Salve.”

– Monticello Drug Company, from hell

1. Dr. Fuller’s Electro Spiral Magnetic Vegetable Vapor Cure

The directions on Chicago’s Fuller & Fuller’s mouthful of a patent medicine read as follows:

“Uncork bottle and inhale vapor until the head is clear. The effect is magical, giving instant relief. Price one dollar.”

Then, all you had to do was put the cork back in the bottle and slap yourself in the face a few times, because if inhaling the vapors of a “perfectly magnetized” vegetable compound really kicked this much diseased ass, then your mind has conjured a false reality and you need to get out, fast. The National Museum of American History notes that this product was made from 1888 to 1906. Boy, we wonder what else happened in 1906?

But no matter. Go wander a few aisles of vitamins and over-the-counter drugs at your favorite big box or convenience store. We’re all still crazy.

Pharmaceutical companies run exhaustive trials before they can release a drug onto the market. This is a matter of common sense. No one wants a repeat of the thalidomide scandal of the 1950s and ’60s when some women took thalidomide for morning sickness. The result of the “biggest man-made medical scandal ever” was 10,000 children born with severe deformities.

Authorities closely monitor the research and development of new drugs to ensure they are as safe as possible and that doctors, pharmacists, and patients are aware of any possible side effects. But knowing that a drug is effective is not the same as knowing exactly how it works. The body is a complex mechanism that we still don’t fully understand. Here are 10 medicines that work, but we don’t know why.

10 Abatacept

In 2015, Science magazine reported that some years before, a team of doctors in Cincinnati treated a sick 12-year-old boy. He had a rare genetic disease that wrongly triggered his immune system, causing considerable damage to his lungs and intestinal system. He had been sick for years, and doctors desperately sought a cure.

On this visit to the hospital, the staff assessed him to see if he might benefit from a bone marrow transplant. They decided that their patient was too sick for the procedure. Doctors gave him Abatacept, knowing that it would do him no harm and might ease his pain.

People who take Abatacept will probably know this drug under its brand name Orencia. Doctors usually prescribe it for conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis.

Doctors fully expected the boy in Cincinnati to die, but he returned six months later in better health. The success of this drug, in this case, was a mystery.

9 Tylenol

Also known as acetaminophen, Tylenol is a favorite in American bathroom cabinets. It’s an effective painkiller that is perfectly safe as long as you stick to the suggested dose. Everybody knows Tylenol, but nobody is certain how it works.

There are three possibilities:

1. It might block an enzyme that makes our bodies feel pain.
2. It could be working on the endocannabinoid system. If this is true, then Tylenol functions like THC in marijuana which is also effective for pain treatment.
3. It might be affecting signals from the neurotransmitter serotonin. Serotonin is a chemical that brain cells produce and contributes to many cognitive functions.

It’s perfectly possible that Tylenol is doing all three things at once, or even none of these.

8 Lithium

Bipolar disorder, once known as manic depression, is a lifelong condition that causes mood swings from severe depression to euphoria. Doctors prescribe lithium, under brand names such as Eskalith or Lithobid, as a widely-recognized and effective treatment for the condition.

Lithium can reduce the severity and frequency of mania and cut the risk of suicide when the sufferer is in a depressive state. Sufferers from bipolar disorder can take lithium over a long period as maintenance therapy. A doctor will ensure that their patient keeps a constant lithium level in the body.

We know that lithium acts on the central nervous system, but we are unclear about what it does exactly. It might reinforce those connections in the brain that regulate mood and behavior, smooth out fluctuations, and ensure that the system works more constantly.

Lithium, the same metal that we use in new batteries, is present in trace amounts in biological systems. Nobody knows what it does.

7 Ulipristal

Ulipristal, marketed as Esmya, prevents pregnancy when someone has had unprotected intercourse or their contraceptive has failed. Ulipristal will prevent or delay the release of an egg. However, it may also change the lining of the uterus. It works, but we are not sure how.

A person should take this medicine within five days of having unprotected sex. It is a particular drug that the user should only take because of this specific circumstance. It is important to note that ulipristal has no effect whatsoever on sexually transmitted diseases.

6 Paxlovid

There’s a lot of information floating around on the internet and social media about medications and which ones work or don’t work. People often seek a solution to the condition and are willing to try anything they think might help—including antibiotics that can’t possibly treat a virus. Pharmaceutical companies were rushing to find a medicine that might work on the coronavirus and, at the same time, be cheap and easy to administer. In November 2021, Pfizer announced that their drug, Paxlovid, could cut the hospitalization rate by almost 90%.

Clinical trials showed that Paxlovid was safe, but questions remained. Paxlovid affects an enzyme in the body that helps proteins in the virus develop into their final, dangerous state. Stop the enzyme from working, and you stop the virus from developing. But how it stops this replication is still not understood.

Paxlovid looks very promising, but it includes a drug called ritonavir that can affect how the body metabolizes other drugs. Anyone who takes Paxlovid must inform their doctor if they take medicines for other conditions. The exact effects that Paxlovid might cause are not fully known.

5 Valdecoxib

Under its brand name Bextra, this was a popular treatment for rheumatoid arthritis and related conditions. In 2005, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) decided that its risks outweighed its benefits and stopped its sale. Bextra was effective but could cause heart, skin, and stomach problems.

Valdecoxib is a good example of a drug that researchers designed to address a particular problem. In a class of NSAIDs called COX-2 inhibitors, it works by somehow stopping the body’s production of a substance that causes pain and inflammation. However, it had broader effects than expected, even though other COX-2 inhibitors didn’t—at least to the same degree. Pharmaceutical companies routinely run trial after trial until they think that they are certain that they know what they are dealing with. This is why it takes so long to get FDA approval. But it can take years for the full range of side effects to emerge.

4 Febuxostat

Gout is an incredibly painful condition. Traditionally, people thought of it as a condition that only affected the rich, but no physical ailment is ever restricted to a specific class of people. Gout results from having too much uric acid in the body, causing crystals to form around the joints.

Febuxostat (under the brand name Uloric, among others) is a long-term treatment that cuts the production of uric acid. Doctors will usually only prescribe febuxostat for sufferers who can’t tolerate allopurinol. They know that the drug is very effective against gout, but what is less well-understood is why some people suffer debilitating side effects. These can include liver problems, pain in the joints, nausea, and skin rash. In some cases, patients suffer from anaphylactic shock, which can be fatal.

3 Tofacitinib

Sold under the most common brand name, Xeljanz, this is another medicine that doesn’t work as its developers had hoped. A doctor might prescribe this medicine to patients with rheumatoid arthritis who can’t tolerate the more widely-used Methotrexate.

Initial clinical trials revealed that a few subjects contracted upper respiratory tract infections, diarrhea, and headaches. After years of trials, the FDA approved the drug in 2012. Then, in 2014, a study showed that tofacitinib also converted white fat tissues into brown. Brown fat tissues are more active and break down more easily than white. This unexpected result suggested that the drug might be an effective obesity treatment. If this were true, it would suggest that the already expensive drug had an enormous potential market.

It also suggests that researchers didn’t really know how the drug worked. Some patients ended up with cancer or pulmonary embolisms. It’s worth pointing out that these side effects are very rare, but they do occur.

2 Paroxetine

You might know this medicine under its common brand names, Seroxat or Paxil. It is an antidepressant, but doctors may prescribe it for various disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic attacks, posttraumatic stress, and social anxiety. It is also a useful treatment for premature ejaculation and menopausal hot flashes.

Paroxetine is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. This mouthful might suggest that scientists know what it does. Well, yes and no. They know that paroxetine is effective, but they are not sure why. The best guess is that it increases the level of serotonin in the brain. The body produces serotonin from an essential amino acid called tryptophan.

Such foods as cheese, nuts, and red meat contain tryptophan. Your general well-being depends on having an optimal level of serotonin in your system. This chemical affects your physiological functions, behavior, cognition, learning, memory, and mood. Researchers don’t really know how paroxetine works because they don’t fully understand the complex functions of serotonin.

1 Aspirin

Aspirin’s popularity dipped in the sixties as other painkillers came onto the market. But then scientists realized that “aspirin” wasn’t just a painkiller. It was also very effective as a blood thinner and could reduce the likelihood of heart attacks or strokes. Some doctors suggest that regular use of low-strength aspirin may be beneficial, though others are cautious.

Recent research in Sweden suggests that aspirin has another beneficial effect. With access to a database that contained details of 80,000 cancer patients, a Swedish team discovered that if a patient with colon or lung cancer had regularly taken low-strength aspirin before diagnosis, his tumor tended to be less advanced. Doctors can deal with less-advanced tumors more effectively.

This correlation was sufficiently marked that the team was sure that the link was not due to a statistical anomaly. The puzzle now was to work out why aspirin might have this effect. The jury is still out, but it could be that aspirin’s anti-inflammatory properties slow the damage to DNA that can lead to cancer.