Life in ancient Rome was rough, especially for children. Even if they were lucky enough to survive for more than a few years, they had to look forward to a life filled with grueling or dangerous work for little reward. Only a privileged few got to reap the benefits of life to its fullest.

Despite this, people persevered. They went through the motions from newborns struggling to survive, to fully-fledged citizens of the Roman Empire.

10Being Welcomed into the Family

In ancient Rome, the pater familias was the uncontested head of the household. He was granted complete authority both by Roman law and mos maiorum (the collection of unwritten customs and traditions). He was the only member of the family allowed to own land and was expected to represent the family in legal, business, and religious affairs.

Even though pater familias meant “father of the family”, the father did not always occupy that role. The pater familias was the oldest living male, so if the father died, the eldest son would take his place. This is one of the reasons why Romans placed a high value on having sons, and male adoption was a common occurrence.

Any new baby had to be accepted by the pater familias. Traditionally, the midwife placed the newborn at his feet, and only if the pater familias picked it up would the baby become a formal part of the family. The father had the authority to disown and sell his children into slavery should they anger him. He was even allowed to kill them, although records show this was a rare occurrence and was eventually outlawed by Augustus.

9Receiving the Bulla

Due to high infant mortality rates, children were not given a name when they were born. Instead, Romans waited for a week before naming the child during a celebration called the dies lustricus (“day of purification”). Much like a modern birthday, friends and family visited to offer the baby gifts and well-wishes.

Male children also received a bulla at this celebration. The bulla was a pendant meant to ward off evil spirits, as well as signify the boy’s status as a freeborn citizen of Rome. Scholars still debate whether Roman girls also wore a bulla or if they had a different type of amulet called a lunula.

Boys were expected to wear their bullae until they reached adulthood while girls wore their pendants until their wedding day. Typically, a bulla was made out of gold but this would only be available to the wealthy elite of Rome. The lower classes made do with bullae made from affordable materials such as leather, bronze, or tin.

8The Stages of a Child’s Life

A Roman childhood had several clearly defined stages, both from a social and a legal perspective. The first period was known as infantia. It lasted from birth until the age of seven, both for girls and boys. This time was spent mostly at home being looked after by parents, grandparents, guardians, and older siblings. All children who were infantes or infantiae proximus (slightly over the threshold) were considered doli incapax—incapable of guilty intentions in the eyes of the law.

Until the ages of 12 and 14 for girls and boys, respectively, children were impuberes, or pubertati proximus in the cases of those close to reaching the threshold. They were still presumed doli incapax, although legal evidence could be presented that said otherwise. Socially, children started to explore the world at this stage. They would leave the house more often, spend time in the company of strangers, and even begin an education away from home if their parents could afford it.

Girls older than 12 were suitable for marriage. At age 15, boys passed into manhood. They were granted legal privileges and responsibilities, although Roman law still considered them adolescents until the age of 25.

7Getting an Education

As with many societies, education in ancient Rome was mostly available to the rich. Rough estimates placed literacy levels at around 20 percent, although it varied based on time period.

During most of the Roman Republic, education remained an informal practice involving parents passing down knowledge to their children. However, after the conquest of Greece in 146 B.C., the Greek education system started spreading through the empire. Romans started placing more importance on education, and tutors became more accessible as many of them were slaves.

Children typically went to school when they turned seven. Their teacher was called a litterator who taught reading, writing, basic arithmetic, and perhaps some Greek. At age 12 or 13, children who could afford an advanced education would go to a “grammar school”, taught by a grammaticus. Here they moved past the practical knowledge needed for everyday life and began studying arts and poetry. The highest levels of education involved learning rhetoric by studying the works of great orators such as Cicero and Quintilian.

6Playing Around

Children of ancient Rome spent a lot of their free time playing with toys quite similar to ones from modern times. Infants were often entertained with a rattle called a crepitaculum. It was made out of wood or metal and sometimes had bells on it. Besides acting as a toy, it is possible the Romans also used it as a ward similar to the bulla.

Dolls and puppets were the most common toys for girls. These were made out of a wide range of materials such as terracotta, wax, clay, wood, metal, and stone. Some of them even had articulated limbs, while others could be dressed and accessorized with jewelry.

Boys preferred moving toys such as carts or horses with wheels. Wooden swords were also common so they could pretend fight. Hoops, kites, balls, and spinning tops were common toys available for children of all ages.

Board games were popular with young and old alike. They had a variety of games using dice, knucklebones, and stone pieces. Other games included hide-and-seek, leapfrog, and terni lapilli (tic-tac-toe).

5The Family Pet

Like us, the ancient Romans were fond of animals and many households had one or more pets. Cats were common pets, as were various Old World monkeys such as Barbary macaques. It seems that even in ancient times, people were amused by the antics of our simian cousins. Several authors and poets make mention of monkeys and the mischief they caused.

Snakes were also kept as pets, although they were more of a religious symbol and were unlikely to be found in an average household. Many wealthy families preferred to keep birds because they also served as a status symbol: their special dietary needs and upkeep placed them out of the range of a typical Roman family.

Apparently, even in Roman times, dog was man’s best friend. It was, by far, the most popular pet of ancient Rome, featuring in literature, pottery, paintings, and bas-reliefs. Unlike other pets, dogs also served practical functions as hunting companions and watchdogs. As the mosaics in Pompeii showed, more than a few Roman houses came with the inscription “Cave canem”—“beware of dog”.

4Finding a Job

The social status of a boy’s family usually dictated what kind of job he could be eligible for once he became a teenager. The most prestigious positions were in politics, but these were normally reserved for the elite and required an extensive education.

Slightly lower down the totem pole were administrative positions within the empire: tax collectors, notaries, clerks, lawyers, teachers, etc. Again, these jobs were typically available to young men with a strong education, although some of these positions were also available to educated slaves, particularly the Greeks.

The most accessible choice for most Roman freemen was to join the army. As a militaristic empire, Rome was rarely short on wars and always had a need for soldiers. This was also a good way for the lower classes to secure a steady income and even earn land once their 25-year service was over.

As the empire grew, so did the variety of jobs. Soon enough, a Roman adolescent could choose to become a merchant, an artist, an entertainer, or a tradesman. However, these positions were typically passed down from father to son. Alternatively, the family needed a connection in order to secure their child an apprenticeship with a master.

3Getting Married

Male children did not really have to concern themselves with marriage since men typically married in their mid-twenties. Girls, however, married much younger, as early as age 12. Since most girls did not receive the kind of extensive education afforded to boys, there was no point in keeping them around the house after they reached childbearing age.

Girls from wealthy families usually married younger than girls from working class families. Their potential marriage was seen as a rare opportunity to climb the social ladder. Most parents would not want to jeopardize this valuable commodity by letting their daughters get too old or lose their chastity.

Most girls had little say regarding their future husbands. Like most of their life’s decisions, this one was made by the pater familia. He would be on the lookout for prospective husbands and make the necessary arrangements with the boy’s family.

The wedding featured numerous customs which evolved over the centuries, and some are still found today. These include the wearing of white and carrying the bride over the threshold.

2Finding a Place to Live

At its peak, ancient Rome was home to over one million people, a feat that would not be repeated in Europe until Industrial-era London. This forced the government to come up with impressive innovations such as the aqueducts and the Cloaca Maxima sewage system to deal with the ever-growing populations. It also meant that Rome was one of the most crowded places to grow up in.

Two types of residential housing were common in the city. The rich could afford a domus—a large house with multiple rooms, an interior courtyard, and, in some cases, shops that faced outside called tabernae. The ultra rich also had villas outside the hustle and bustle of Rome.

Most of the population, however, was crowded into apartment blocks called insulae. As construction technology improved, so did the height of these buildings. Some insulae could reach eight or nine stories. Third-century records show there were around 44,000 insulae in Rome. It was not uncommon for an entire family to live in just one room.

The floor you lived on was often inversely proportional to your social status. The bottom floor was taken up by tabernae and other places of business. The first couple of stories had more spacious and more expensive apartments. As the floors kept climbing, they not only got more cramped but also more dangerous. Fires were a common occurrence in Rome, and tenants living on the top floors were often trapped in burning buildings. Augustus brought the legal height limit of insulae down to 70 Roman feet (20.7 meters), and Nero lowered it again to 60 Roman feet (17.7 meters) after the Great Fire.

1Becoming a Man

Reaching sexual maturity was an important stage in the life of Roman adolescents. Girls were expected to remain virgins until they got married. They did not have extensive maturation rituals, and their wedding night typically functioned as their rite of passage.

Boys reached sexual maturity when they were 15-16 years old. Besides leaving behind their bulla, they also underwent a wardrobe change—they replaced their “toga praetexta” with the “toga virilis”—the plain white toga worn by adult males.

Romans celebrated the coming of age of young men at the Liberalia, a festival marked by food, wine, song, and dance. In fact, Liberalia was associated with the older, more lavish Bacchanalia dedicated to the god of wine and fertility, Bacchus. After the Senate made efforts to suppress the Bacchanalia, similarities between the two festivals caused them to merge together.

A sixteen-year-old Roman male could pursue sexual relationships before marriage. A man from a wealthy family would likely have sex with a slave, while a commoner would visit a prostitute. Both these kinds of relationships were considered acceptable for men even after marriage. Adultery was typically regarded only between a married man and a Roman wife or unmarried daughter.

Although it might be exhilarating to witness life thousands of years ago through a time machine, surely no one would ever want to do much more than visit. The ancient world was a rough and unforgiving playing field, especially if you were a kid or anything but wealthy.

Ancient China was no exception. Unless you were a male born into a wealthy family of high status and influence, you were likely to endure a miserable existence if you managed to live past infancy. China has one of the most elaborate and captivating histories and cultures you may ever study. However, it was still an unbearable struggle just to survive for the majority of people in ancient China.

10 Filial Piety

The most fundamental aspect of traditional Chinese culture was “filial piety,” which was taught by Confucius, an influential Chinese philosopher. The teachings of Confucius, specifically through filial piety, developed the established social norms of ancient China.

In a family unit, the father served as the head of the household while the mother’s only role was to honor his orders and birth him a son. If the father was not present, then the eldest son had the authority in the family and his mother had to obey him. The sad truth was that the husband was allowed to abandon the family and remarry if a woman would not bear a son.

The core concepts of ancient Chinese culture also stressed that all people of differing social classes, genders, and ages must perform specific obligatory roles in society and act accordingly. If a father were to act in an abusive manner toward his children, filial piety teaches that they still must return full respect and honor toward him. This occurred because a father’s role was to command, while a child’s role was to obey despite the circumstances.^[1]

The same concept applied to an emperor’s ultimate authority in society and the role of citizens under that authority—even if corruption occurred in some dynasties.

9 Access To Education

What is the best way to keep a conforming lower class in place without question?

Limiting access to education, which is believed to be the best weapon against poverty and oppression. Education was an opportunity reserved for the children of the most elite families. Generally, only teenage boys born into very wealthy families had the opportunity to receive schooling. This was the only group with the means to pass highly selective state examinations to gain any political power or say in the world around them.

The curriculum consisted primarily of calligraphy and the teachings of Confucius. Whether educated or not, all people were required to know the five virtues of Confucius by heart when asked at any given moment. It wasn’t until the Han dynasty, which began in 206 BC, that ancient China established a public education system to develop a more intelligent and well-informed society.

Commoners in the empire were presented with more social mobility through an education that prepared them to pass the civil service examinations. Then they had the chance to get a civil service job or earn a more respectable role in society. The establishment of the exams was an effort to allow gifted people to earn political power or influential roles in society on the basis of merit rather than lineage.

However, this opportunity was extremely hard to come by as these exams were highly competitive and difficult. After spending at least a decade or two studying, test takers had to walk in with food, a waste bucket, and test-taking materials. They were confined in small individual cells for three days to complete an exam. No stretching breaks allowed!

There were several levels of testing, beginning with the provincial exams and ending with the national exams that were administered by the emperor only once every three years. All had ridiculously low pass rates. At some points, the chances of passing the tests and getting a decent job could be as low as 1 in 3,000.

In fact, the scholars and prodigies who managed to pass these rigorous exams ended up becoming the names in ancient China that we study in our history books today. If all that isn’t convincing enough that the arduous process of these exams meant business, cheating on them was even punishable by death.^[2]

8 Your Job Options

If you were one of the majority born into an impoverished family in a cramped, rusty, tin countryside hut, then working in the rice paddies with no hope of upward social mobility would likely be your life’s destiny. In fact, dedicating your life to backbreaking manual labor in the fields was expected of most men, women, and children in ancient China.

The North primarily grew wheat and millet, while the South specialized in rice. Obviously, the poor mostly lived in the country, while the rich primarily resided in major urban areas with more opportunity. Some families even grew desperate enough to sell off their own daughters as slaves to rich men.

The norm was that only a small minority lived comfortably, and the role of the majority was to maintain the lifestyles of the minority. In fact, many people were not only farmworkers but also servants to wealthy families. These servants were slaves who were eunuchs, and they tended to every need and whim of the rich.

Some wealthy people in ancient China would even grow their nails incredibly long as a status symbol to show that they did not have to work. Everyone else had to keep those nails short and neat because the fields were the sole, inevitable option for most youth growing up in ancient China.^[3]

7 Love And Marriage

There weren’t many options when it came to marriage, either. Any intermarriage between individuals of differing social status was forbidden by law. Marriages were arranged by the parents under the wings of hired matchmakers.

Typically, girls in ancient China had to marry at about age 15, while men were about 30. Furthermore, the bride and groom never got to truly meet each other until their wedding day. The transition into marriage for a young daughter barely into her mid-teens must have been tremendously stressful or even traumatic. She had to leave her family and her childhood home and might not see her family again for years.

The bride moved into the family home of her husband and had to obey every command of her mother-in-law. This made marriage especially difficult or even unbearable for women in ancient China. However, they would never be respected as women or in general unless they hadhusbands.^[4]

The husband owned everything within the property, including his children and his wife. If he was wealthy, then infidelity was a social norm rather than a taboo.

6 Diet

If you were wealthy (especially by working in the bureaucracy after passing the civil service examinations), you would be blessed with a rich diet with meat and vegetables. The rich and influential in ancient China had access to a wide variety of meats, including pork, bear’s paw, and dog. However, they mostly ate fish or rice, the staples of the ancient Chinese diet.

Besides fish, many of the meats in their diet came from a variety of birds, such as goose, pheasant, duck, or chicken. Still, they didn’t eat meat often because the Chinese diet is mostly vegetarian. Therefore, meat was considered a delicacy. Their vegetables included yams, turnips, and more. Other items on the menu could include anything from shark’s fin and edible bird’s nest to soup, millet, or wine.

However, the poor majority in ancient China had a bland, boring diet. Generally, they ate rice or plain noodles without any meat or fish. There were few vegetables in their diet. This led to recurring famines during periods of drought in the countryside.^[5]

5 Leisure And Tradition

Leisure and traditional events and practices were an integral part of Chinese culture. Some of the most popular pastimes, especially for young people, were mahjongg, archery, kickball, and checkers.

Chinese culture also emphasized honoring one’s ancestors. Therefore, those who practiced Taoism, the widespread religion of ancient China, would worship their ancestors. They also believed in a kitchen god named Zao Shen and kept a paper image of him in the house. It was taught that this god would protect the family and report their demeanor to heaven every month.

Whenever Zao Shen delivered his report to the heavens, the family would burn the image and set off firecrackers to send him on his way. They also smeared the lips on his image with honey so that he would take a good report to heaven. While Zao Shen was away, the family would be careful to avoid doing anything that was believed to attract evil spirits or entities.

Large festivals were also a significant part of the leisure aspect of life in ancient China. The Lantern Festival and Chinese New Year were some of the most important events of the year.^[6]

4 Got Health Care?

If you were lucky or wealthy enough to have access to any medical care, the doctors of ancient times were in no way like modern practitioners. In ancient history, people usually had religious or philosophical explanations for illness. It was believed that illness was caused when a person was possessed by evil spirits or ghosts.

Therefore, doctors in ancient China were usually priests or mystics who performed exorcisms with little to no medical expertise. If that didn’t help, these doctors would turn to herbal remedies or acupuncture to treat their sick patients. This made herbal tea especially common.^[7]

3 Slavery

The sad reality was that much of the ancient Chinese population was made up of slaves. For most, slavery was the only option or destiny from the moment they were born. As mentioned earlier, the majority of job opportunities consisted of manual labor in the fields, but some of the workers were freemen.

Slaves lived under the absolute rule of a master, and they were often prisoners or captives of war. Many slaves were children who worked as domestic servants for wealthy households. As mentioned earlier, these servants were slaves who were eunuchs.

A eunuch entering any room in a house unannounced or uninvited was punished by death. An especially heinous slavery practice in ancient China occurred whenever a slave master died. His slaves were buried alive due to the belief that they must serve their master in the afterlife for eternity. Thousands of slaves were also used as human sacrifices—usually by decapitation—to prevent rebellion by inciting fear in other slaves.

Fortunately, the practice of killing slaves upon the death of the master was brought to an end during the Zhou dynasty, which began in 1046 BC. Government efforts in China to end slavery began during the Ming dynasty, which started in AD 1368. However, many people continued to secretly own slaves in remote regions of China until as late as the early 1950s.^[8]

2 Foot Binding

In ancient China, having very small feet was believed to be a highly desirable and attractive trait in a woman. The practice of foot binding was adopted by the upper class during the Tang dynasty.

When a girl was around four or five years old, her feet would be wrapped in bandages tight enough to forcibly break and curl her toes into the soles of her feet. This prevented the toes from growing.

It was an excruciating process, and the girl would have to walk on broken toes for the rest of her life. While enduring unbearable pain and extremely limited mobility, she was confined to indoor domestic work and a miserable existence.^[9]

In fact, a girl could risk being beaten if she was caught trying to remove the bandages around her feet. The twisted practice of foot binding wasn’t outlawed until 1912.

1 The Coming Of Age

If born in ancient China, one was lucky to reach young adulthood. As boys were valued much more than girls, newborn baby girls were sometimes abandoned or drowned. This was considered socially acceptable, which made the infant mortality rate fairly high. Other factors such as poverty, lack of education, slavery, and famine made an individual exceptionally lucky to reach adulthood.

However, both men and women received individual ceremonies commemorating their initiations into adulthood. This ritual was generally hosted by the father, who delivered a speech welcoming the young adult into a new chapter of his life. A young man would have his “capping ceremony” at age 20, while a young woman would receive her “hair-pinning ceremony” at age 15.^[10]