Millennials and Baby Boomers; Baby Boomers and Millennials. One group can’t get off their phones, the other can’t figure out how their phones even work. We’ve been hearing both claim their supremacy lately but, oddly, this battle skips a generation.

10 Studies Proving Everything You Believe About Millennials And Boomers Is Wrong

That generation is my own: Generation X. Remember us? We’re the folks born roughly between 1964 and 1981. We’re the ones in the middle lane with a child car seat NOT texting while driving.

While Twitter teems with Gens Y & Z and septuagenarians post cat pics to Facebook, you haven’t heard much about us Gen Xers lately (Karens notwithstanding). Probably because we’ve been too busy #adulting to brag about how awesome we are. Let’s change that.

10 We Make a Great Sandwich Generation

Gen Xers are today’s “sandwich generation,”^[1] meaning many of us have young children and aging parents. We are “stuck in the middle” with major responsibilities to family members from both the preceding and succeeding generations. We are not the first to undertake such responsibility, but we’re among the only generations to come of age during the invention and proliferation of a world-changing new medium: the Internet.

Gen Xers lived analog youths and digital adulthoods. We are not largely confused by technology (like many Baby Boomers), but we don’t take it for granted either (like seemingly all Millennials and Gen Zers).

The dichotomy that Gen Xers have lived—before the World Wide Web and now during it—allows us to empathize with both our elders and juniors in ways other generations simply could not. The Internet is arguably the most society-changing invention in a century, and it integrated into life as we grew up. This allows Gen Xers to relate both to Baby Boomers, whose lives without the Internet stretched well into adulthood, and Gens Y & Z, whose existences were shaped online from childhood.

9 We Remember When Rock Music Was Good

Back in the Stone Ages now known as the 1990s, primitive men and women still used an archaic tool known as a guitar (pronounced “gi-tahr”). They used it to play an illustrious genre of music they called—and I hope I’m getting this right—the “rock & roll.”

All kidding aside, what passes for rock music today is utter rubbish, comprising watered down guitar riffs and vocals aided heavily by auto-tune software. If you think the Jonas Brothers and Maroon 5^[2] are talented, you’re doing it wrong.

When I was in high school the following bands were dominating the Billboard charts: Nirvana. Pearl Jam. Soundgarden. Hole. The Smashing Pumpkins. These are rock immortals—groups that wrote their own songs, sang their own vocals and wailed out with minimal electronic assistance.

I just named five ’90s bands better than any playing rock today. Here’s five more: Rage Against the Machine, Garbage, Stone Temple Pilots, Marilyn Manson, Weezer. The notion that rock was leap years better in Gen X’s heyday^[3] is so obvious that it transcends opinion. It’s a fact.

8 We Saw the Free World Unite as Young Adults

I graduated college in 2001. That September I was commuting to work from New Jersey to Midtown Manhattan. I was switching trains under the North Tower of the World Trade Center when five terrorists slammed a commercial jetliner into it.

I was among the first group of people to flee from the burning building. I walked north toward Midtown. Then the loudest sound I’ve ever heard changed the world forever. A second plane had crashed into the second tower.^[4] It was 9:03 am on Tuesday, September 11, and America was under attack.

What emerged from that catastrophic day was a unity that neither America nor the free world has seen since. A president who took office just eight months earlier despite losing the popular vote saw his approval rating skyrocket to 90%—the highest in polling history.^[5] For the first and only time, NATO’s mutual defense clause was invoked as the broadest military coalition since World War II prepared to strike back at Osama bin Laden’s al Qaeda network. For a fleeting moment in time, it was freedom vs. oppression, tolerance vs. intolerance, good vs. evil.

It didn’t last, of course. America invaded Iraq for no reason, the financial crisis caused finger-pointing and insularity, and America—the once so-called “indispensable nation”—is now led by men who alienate democratic allies, deny science and demonize the free press.^[6] Gen X remembers a world in the not-so-distant past that seems like ancient history. It will be up to us to steer mankind back toward freedom-loving nations working collaboratively for a shared future.

7 Our SNL Cast Was the Best

When people—usually Baby Boomers—talk about the “good old days” of Saturday Night Live, they’re typically referring to the first few years, the mid-70s cast with comedy legends like Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, Eddie Murphy and John Belushi. While this cast was ultra-talented, the show’s best seasons were in the early to mid-1990s.

Let’s set the record straight here: Gen Xers enjoyed the best SNL cast. Dana Carvey, Mike Myers, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock and Chris Farley headlined a lineup of unsurpassed secondary cast members including Phil Hartman, David Spade, Kevin Nealon, Julia Sweeney, Dennis Miller, Victoria Jackson and Ellen Cleghorne.

The breadth, quality and downright hilariousness of the recurring characters this cast created are unparalleled not only in the show’s 45-year run but, quite possibly, television history. Wayne & Garth,^[7] Matt Foley, Nat X and Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer are just the tip of the iceberg for a cast that brought the best show in comedy week after week for the better part of a decade.

Since that crew disbanded, the number of breakout stars the show has produced in the ensuing two-plus decades can be counted on one hand, starting with Will Ferrell and ending with the immensely talented Kate McKinnon from the current cast. The ’90s cast was a Dream Team that may never be replicated again.

6 We Remember When Facts Were… Well, Facts

Gen X is the youngest to remember a time when technology had not yet turned us into a society divided by misinformation.^[8] If you can’t agree on facts, you can’t agree on action – a notion at the crux of issues from Brexit and Trump to xenophobia and uber-PC snowflakeism.

Gen X remembers a world without an Internet to support limitless, unqualified opinions and spread innumerable lies and agenda-driven disinformation, and before cable networks like CNN and Fox News masked political partisanship as objective journalism. We recall a time when the world got its news almost exclusively from mainstream newspapers, news magazines, and major-network television and radio programs. The lack of segmentation had its downsides, of course, but the huge upside was that we largely agreed on what the facts were. Today’s faux-journalism—custom-tailored information fed solely by confirmation bias—simply was not possible because the media sources catered to huge swaths of the public. Since their reach was so broad, all understood that undue subjectivity risked alienating significant portions of their audiences.

It was in the media’s best interests, then, to report in a straightforward fashion that, though by no means perfect, was both factual and widely consumed. As a result, an overwhelming majority got their news from trustworthy sources and, in turn, were far better informed than they are today.

Gen X remembers a world when we had our facts straight and, because of it, has a better bullshit detector than ensuing generations do and will.

Top 10 Patron Saints For Millennials [Satire]

5 We Grew Up on Darth Vader, Not Darth Maul

No cultural comparison better showcases Gen X’s supremacy than the original Star Wars movies versus what the franchise became starting with 1999’s Episode I: The Phantom Menace,^[9] which ranks among the most disappointing films in the history of moviemaking.

The gap in quality between the original three films and the two ensuing trilogies is as vast as a galaxy far, far away. The original trilogy was a captivating struggle between good and evil, complete with conflicted characters that the audience cared about and special effects that were groundbreaking for the late ’70s and early ’80s. The Millennium Falcon became the world’s most recognizable spacecraft, and Darth Vader its most infamous villain. As the saga ended, peace was restored to the galaxy.

And then it wasn’t. Unable to leave well enough alone, George Lucas rushed out three poorly-written films with bland characters shot almost entirely in CGI. Jar Jar Binks became the most reviled character in cinematic history^[10] during a series of films that were so bad it managed to make a half-hour-long light saber battle on a volcanic island absent of any suspense or emotion.

And then, in 2015, Episode 7! The Force had awakened…

… to boredom. To retread plots and a main character who, to satisfy the PC Police, was turned into a female protagonist with no real faults^[11] and therefore nothing compelling about her whatsoever. Congrats, Disney, the Force is now officially female…^[12] and sleep-inducing. Combining overblown political correctness with corporate greed, the latest trilogy was a disjointed mess driven more by diversity than by the need to be good movies. The trilogy’s final disaster, The Rise of Skywalker, was so bad that conspiracy theories^[13] have arisen in its wake.

Gen X got the good Star Wars films. Hopefully Gen Z has suffered through the last of them.

4 We Fully Understand #OKBoomer

Though it’s usually Millennials and Gen Zers using the term, Gen X has a comprehensive understanding of the generational animus that has emerged between Baby Boomers and the youngest generations. As the middle children of history, we have a clear view from No Man’s Land.

So OK, Boomers, let me explain something to you: Millennials and Gen Zers are pissed because what they’ve been told since birth—that they will have at least as much opportunities as preceding generations to live happy, fulfilling lives—is complete bullshit. Here’s a brief list why.

For starters, the Earth is warming, melting and starting to punch back against decades of runaway fossil fuel use that your generation could have curbed but did not. In case your SUV engines drowned out the news, let me kindly inform you that there is no Planet B.^[14]

Next, real wages have stagnated^[15] while everything else gets more expensive. The cost of renting or purchasing a home has skyrocketed across the Western World and, for those of us living in America or other places without free university, college costs have doubled in less than 20 years.^[16] This isn’t normal inflation—it’s exorbitant greed whittling away at middle classes in democracies around the world. Simply put, your generation had it better than ours do.

Third, the young adults entering the workforce in the aftermath of the 2008 Financial Crisis were and remain at an inherent disadvantage. In an environment where employers held all the hiring leverage, artificially low wages combined with exceedingly high housing costs (and for Americans especially, college loan debt) to constrain the choices of Millennials and Gen Z.

Did you really think they moved back home because they wanted to? #OKBoomer. Maybe if your generation hadn’t ruined the world Gen X wouldn’t be tasked with saving it.

3 We Also See How Silly Political Correctness Has Become

Remember the little boy in the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes? That’s us.

The other day I told a 40-something-year-old colleague that she, and I quote, “looked nice today.” The reason I did that was because she had a client meeting and (drum roll please) she looked nice that day. Somehow, the world did not end and I did not become a #MeToo casualty.

it was not a comment I would have made to a 25-year-old. And therein lies the problem: the younger generations have become so politically correct that the rest of us can’t give each other innocuous compliments anymore. Gen Xers see this overblown nonsense for what it is: wimpiness masked as strength.

This one’s on you, Millennials and Gen Zers. Young people have become so ridiculously sensitive that comedians are refusing to play college campuses.^[17] Spearheaded by the Wokerati on Twitter, a large swath of today’s youth profess to be infinitely inclusive while trying to ruin people’s lives and livelihoods over a dubious remark. They are little more than bullying cancel culture hypocrites who espouse tolerance while practicing anything but.

Their purity tests have poisoned our politics and generational relations. They want men who transition into women to be allowed to compete in women’s sports,^[18] despite the plain and simple fact that men are stronger and faster than women.^[19] They are singular entities who want to be called “they” and “them.” They stress the importance of the individual over the good of society, and are completely incapable of compromise or consensus-building. And they don’t seem to realize or care that the backlash against their rigidity^[20] is a major reason populists like Donald Trump and Boris Johnson have come to power.

Warning, Gens Y & Z: Gen X can punch down as well as up.

2 We Respect (Some of) Our Elders

Gen Xers are the grandchildren of the Greatest Generation,^[21] who fought and won the largest, most important conflict mankind has ever witnessed: World War II. That gives us a unique perspective on history and our potential part in it.

Think about it: generationally, we tend to rebel against our direct predecessors. The Baby Boomers tried to distance themselves from their Greatest Generation parents, Gen X from the Baby Boomers, and so on. So while they were leading invaluable movements—the push for civil rights and women’s lib, to name just two—Baby Boomers were naturally too caught up in rebelling against their parents to fully appreciate what they did: save the world from tyranny, Nazism and genocide.

Not so with our grandparents. In fact, Gen Xers had the distinct privilege of being bounced on our grandfathers’ knees as young children, listening to stories about battles in France, Germany, the Pacific. On TV, we saw black and white footage of a war whose ethics also were black and white; those 20-year-olds in foxholes were our grandfathers fighting for good versus pure evil. There is a binding beauty to that generation that, hopefully, has rubbed off on Gen X just enough to fight the good fight when our time comes.

And that takes us to the list’s last item:

1 We’d Better Be the Best, Or Else

As I write this the worldwide coronavirus pandemic is approaching half a million cases. The death toll will be vast and, as unemployment numbers rise while stocks plummet, the economic fallout from COVID-19 will likely surpass the Great Recession.^[22]

Even before that, the world was literally burning. Australia, the Amazon and California have experienced unprecedented wildfires directly attributable to the mounting threat of climate change. Antarctica and Greenland are rapidly melting^[23] while we continue to burn fossil fuel at record levels.

In Europe, a flood of asylum seekers and online misinformation campaigns are driving intense political division. The United Kingdom has left the European Union and, across the Atlantic, the United States has forfeited its role as the leader of the free world by tearing up hard-won treaties and embracing autocratic dictators. It is also 23 TRILLION dollars in debt.^[24]

The world is unraveling and its problems are four-alarm-fire urgent. For everyone’s sake, Generation X better prove to be Generation Best, or there may not be too many more Generation Nexts.

10 Things Your Ancestors Did Better Than You

Millennials, Gen Y, Snowflakes—these are all names for the generation who were born between 1980 and 1994 – and the butt of so many jokes. In Japan they are called “Yutori” and they have just as many critics. They are the first generation who grew up with a more relaxed style of education and now as adults, find themselves pushing against the old ways of their ultra-disciplined parents—with mixed results.

10 Ways Young Generations Are Better Than Their Parents

10 Valentine’s Day is a chore

Valentine’s Day in Japan has turned into a social minefield. In the 1950s, a chocolate company dreamed up “giri choco” meaning “obligatory chocolates” to boost sales on February 14th. They suggested women should spoil all the men in their life with chocolate gifts, but for some the list would stretch beyond male relatives to co-workers and bosses. Giri choco caught on and Japanese women—raised not to offend or appear impolite—would dutifully present their male colleagues with chocolate on the big day. To redress the balance, White Day was created in 1978 and every year on March 14th, men reciprocate with gifts of white sweets and candy.

An uneasy feeling about the custom has crept into society, with it being seen as outdated and sexist. Some workplaces are banning giri choco and without it, there is no White Day.

In February 2018, luxury chocolatier Godiva took out a full- page newspaper advert urging Japan to put the fun back into Valentine’s Day by dumping giri choco. It was a bold marketing move but it worked, and the holiday is evolving into a quirky emoji-filled occasion. Restaurants are cashing in by offering chocolate themed menus and women are buying gifts for themselves – with no pressure.^[1]

9 New Rules of Dating

Japan is now “mikon shakai” – an unmarried society. For centuries, Japanese parents arranged “omiai”—a formal introduction leading to marriage, while these are now seen as old fashioned, most parents still encourage their children to marry. In a society where women over 25 are charmingly referred to as “Christmas cake” ie, left over, and adults still living with their parents are called “parasite singles” the pressure is intense. Now Yutoris are taking control of their own futures and entering the dating game without their parents’ looming influence.

The term “konkatsu” was created by a sociology professor in 2007, roughly translated it means “searching for a potential partner with the purpose of marriage”. Essentially, a more modern form of omiai, it gives the power of choice back to those looking for love.

The dating game is complicated. A “gokon” party is a singles meet up, either casually arranged by friends or by professional matchmakers. You could try your luck at “shumikon” – where you learn a skill such as cookery alongside a potential partner, or “asakon” – an early morning dating event for professionals to squeeze in before their working day starts. The largest gokon comprised of 10,000 hopeful singles at a Tokyo stadium in 2015.^[2]

8 Men for hire

Traditional ideas of masculinity may be changing in Japan but there is still a market for old fashioned fatherly advice. This is why you need “ossan” meaning “old man” and they’re available for hire.

Once seen as a figure of fun, these friendly “uncles” are now charging around 1,000 yen ($10) an hour to listen and offer comfort to troubled Yutori, who may be too proud to confide in their own parents.

Stressed women not in need of ossan have another option – a handsome young man to wipe away their tears. A company called Ikemeso – a combination of the words “hot guy” and “crying” offer a choice of men to appeal to all tastes. They will arrive at your office and put on a sad film designed to get everyone sobbing in a group bonding exercise.

Other services available include partners for non-sexual cuddling and fake friends and relatives for special occasions.^[3]

7 Exam Scam

In 2019 for the first time ever, women out-performed men in entrance exams for Japanese medical schools. The reason? The schools stopped rigging test scores to give male applicants an unfair advantage. The scandal was uncovered by a newspaper who found that universities had been tweaking the results for over 10 years. The dean of Juntendo university in Tokyo explained:

“Women mature faster mentally than men…in some ways this was a measure to help male applicants.”

Most saw it as another example of gender discrimination. In 2016, just 21% of all doctors in Japan were women, compared with the UK at 47.2%.^[4]

6 Sneakerheads

American branded sneakers have reached cult status among Yutoris. In the early 1990s, the popularity of Michael Jordan together with Nike’s launch of the AirMax 95 sneaker created a fascination with the footwear and its fans became known as “Sneakerheads”. The district of Shibuya in Tokyo is where fanatics gather to buy rare brands to collect or sell on, for huge profit. The market is so lucrative, that some fans have been targeted by thieves and robbed of their valuable sneakers in the street.

Collaborations with celebrities and designers are the most sought after by Sneakerheads, causing huge queues on the day they land in store. Staff now insist on ID and enforce a dress code to check the style credentials of customers as Sneakerheads have been known to pay homeless people to queue for hours in their place. Some take their love of brands so seriously that there is now a small industry in sneaker authentication where you can pay an expert to check if you have bought the real thing. The business is shrouded in secrecy to protect staff from bribery and violent threats in a cut-throat industry.^[5]

10 Reasons Millennials Are No Different From Any Other Generation

5 Halloween

Halloween arrived in Japan courtesy of Walt Disney in 2000 when Tokyo Disneyland launched its first celebration. Japan has embraced Halloween and all its traditions – except for trick or treating which is a step too far for the polite society and instead, it’s all about the costumes. For a generation hooked on cosplay – dressing up as a character from film, TV or manga—it is the perfect holiday. Every year since 2011, crowds of costumed revellers gather at Tokyo’s iconic Shibuya “Scramble” Crossing to drink and party amid the traffic chaos. Record numbers flocked to Shibuya in 2018 and the night ended with multiple arrests and an overturned truck. Public drinking is now banned in Tokyo.^[6]

4 Falling birth rate

In 2019, the birth rate in Japan fell to its’ lowest since 1899. A survey by the Japan Family Planning Association found that 45% of women were either not interested or “despised” sexual contact. There is a growing number of young men with dwindling sex drives named “herbivore men” due to their lack of interest in “flesh”. These “soushoku danshi” or “grass eaters” also despise the punishing work life the older generation, preferring a more passive existence.

Shinzo Abe, the prime minister has described the birth rate as a national crisis, but the reason for the drop could be simple economics. Long gone are the “salarymen” who dedicated their lives to one corporation, instead many Yutoris are employed on short-term contracts with little job security. Some Japanese parents will still oppose a marriage if the groom is not a high earning professional. More women are rejecting the traditional role of homemaker, preferring instead to have a career—the media has labelled ambitious female workers “carnivore girls”.

By 2065, the population is set to shrink from 127 million to 88 million, fuelled by the attitude of “mendokusai” meaning “can’t be bothered.”^[7]

3 Hidden Hãfu

As an island nation, Japan is often regarded as a closed society. Japanese people of mixed race are known as “hãfu” from the English word “half” and have struggled to find acceptance. They are not officially recognised as a social group and are banned from holding dual citizenship. The government records no data on people with only one Japanese parent, and there is no acknowledgement of any discrimination they may face.

Slowly, some young Japanese of mixed heritage are gaining recognition. Ariana Miyamoto was born in 1994 to a Japanese mother and an African-American father and won the Miss Japan contest in 2015. She was inspired to enter the pageant after the suicide of a mixed race schoolfriend but faced criticism for not being “pure” Japanese.

The Ministry of Health has predicted that 1 in 30 babies born in Japan today are of dual heritage, the majority to parents from neighbouring Asian countries such as China and Korea. A new word “mikkusu” based on the English term “mixed race” is beginning to be widely used and “hãfu” is now seen as belonging to Japan’s past.^[8]

2 #KuToo

Wearing high heels to work may be a personal choice for most women but in Japan, they are compulsory.

After spending a long shift in crippling 3-inch heels, Yumi Ishikawa tweeted about the unfair rule and kicked off a social media campaign. Women began sharing photos of their swollen and blistered feet tagged #KuToo – a combination of the words “kutsu” meaning shoes and pain “kutsuu”, plus a nod to the #MeToo movement.

Yumi started a petition in June 2019, proposing a law to stop businesses imposing women only dress codes and forcing them to wear the dreaded heels.
#KuToo has opened up a debate on gender discrimination and given a voice to women in a culture that disapproves of public emotion. Some companies have since relaxed their rules on footwear and Yumi has published a book about #KuToo where she writes: “It’s super-fun to be angry.”^[9]

1 The Lonely Princesses

The Imperial Throne of Japan is the oldest monarchy in the world. Emperor Naruhito ascended the Chrysanthemum Throne in 2019 and has one child, Princess Aiko. Also known as “Toshi”, as a female she can never rule Japan – that honour will go to the nearest male heir—her cousin Prince Hisahito. 18-year-old Toshi has more teenage angst than most because ancient rules state she must marry a nobleman – of which there are none left in modern day Japan. Marriage to a commoner means she will lose her title, status and money, cut off with a one-time payment and facing life as a private citizen.

Toshi’s aunt, Princess Sayako did just that when she married a government official and had to take a crash course in driving and supermarket shopping before her wedding. Toshi’s cousin, Princess Mako aged 28, became engaged to fellow student Komuro Kei in 2017 – followed by months of royal silence. The Imperial Family announced a postponement in 2018, and Mako stated: “It is because of our immaturity, and we just regret it.”

There are now six unmarried Princesses who will all have to choose between a life of independence or royal duty. Unless the laws of succession are changed, the future of the monarchy currently lies with a 14-year-old boy.^[10]

Top 10 Reasons Generation X Is Generation Best

About The Author: I am a true crime enthusiast and lover of words.

These days, toy makers are held to stringent safety standards. Thanks to the ASTM F963: Standard Consumer Safety Specification for Toy Safety, U.S. toymakers must follow extensive rules and regulations.

But this wasn’t always the case. Before the government protected kids from things such as figurines covered with lead paint, older generations were handed some wild toys and told to go outside and play. This list presents ten toys that prove your grandparents were from a tougher age in history.

10 Belt Buckle Derringer Toy Gun

In 1959, Mattel gave the world a toy gun that didn’t need hands to work. The Belt Buckle Derringer Toy Gun could be fired in the usual way while holding it. Or, if you found yourself in a position where you needed to fire a gun while your hands were otherwise occupied, you were in luck. This gun could be attached to a belt buckle and fired when the wearer thrust their hips forward.

What could possibly go wrong with small boys running around with toy cap guns attached to their waist that fired plastic bullets when they waggled their hips? As you might imagine, the guns sometimes went off at unintended times, in unintended directions, although most likely, the intended times the guns fired must have resulted in enough mayhem alone.^[1]

9 Gilbert Glass Blowing Set

“I wish my young daughter had a kit to shape and form molten glass” is a thought I have never had. However, somebody must have had this thought at some point because a real glass-blowing set for children used to exist.

The A.C. Gilbert Company, which is now out of business, was known for its erector, trains, and chemistry sets—standard kid’s fare, to be sure. However, in the 1920s, A.C. Gilbert offered something special, a working glass-blowing set.

Known as the Experimental Glass Blowing Kit for Boys, the kit contained a blow torch for heating glass until it was malleable, tubes for blowing into and shaping the glass, and a book of “fun” experiments in which children were instructed to hold the heated glass in their hands. For the record, for glass to get hot enough to shape, it has to be heated to at least 1500°F (815°C).^[2]

8 Austin Magic Pistol

Toy guns were popular back in the day, but the Austin Magic Pistol was a special one that looked like it came straight from outer space. This toy gun from the 1940s had a futuristic look and launched ping pong balls. Sounds pretty harmless, right? Not so harmless when you discover the ping pong ball was fired using an explosive chemical reaction created by calcium carbide and water.

Simply mix water with the provided “magic crystals,” load the gun, and you are all set. However, the “magic crystals” turned out to be calcium carbide, a hazardous substance that turns into a highly flammable gas when water hits it. Each time the Austin Magic Pistol was fired, an explosion occurred in the back of the gun.

How our grandparents survived gun shooting ping pong balls launched by chemical explosions, we’ll never know.^[3]

7 Creepy Crawlers

They may have been dangerous, but this entry must have been a blast for kids to create. In 1964, Mattel introduced the Thingmaker. It was so wildly popular they released 15 different sets. The set the internet seems to have the most nostalgia for is the Creepy Crawlers.

The Thingmaker had an oven with an internal heating element that reached 400°F (204°C). The “things” were made by squirting a chemical Mattel called Plasti-Goop into the die-cast metal molds and heating them. However, by 1973, toy safety regulations had become a bit tougher, and the Thingmaker, which heated to high temperatures and used a chemical fluid that gave off fumes, disappeared from store shelves.

In an attempt to revive the beloved toy, Mattel recently tested a version using a 3D printer, but sadly, it never made it to market.^[4]

6 Sixfinger

This entry was marketed for kids who wanted a sixth finger that both wrote and fired a variety of objects, including bombs, missiles, and messages. Created by Topper Toys, it didn’t have the most attractive design, but kids could wear the toy for fun—’cause what’s not fun about another finger on your hand. And the TV commercial even asked how we got along with only five!

Designed in the 1960s by Deluxe Reading, a toy manufacturer based in Elizabeth, NJ. It produced toys under several brand names, including Topper Toys. On their own, the things the Sixfinger does are not super impressive—anyone can use a pen, right? Or play with a cap gun or other toy gun. But combine this with a weird-looking extra finger held between the thumb and forefinger, and it’s a winner, winner, chicken dinner!^[5]

5 Zero-M Sonic Blaster

Here we go with Mattel again. Mattel’s sonic blaster bazooka gun was what every secret agent-wannabe needed in their life. It was a 34-inch-long (86-centimer) blaster that shot hand-pumped compressed air at such high decibels it caused lifelong hearing damage.

You can still see the vintage ad on YouTube today. The commercial features a young Kurt Russell, walking wearily through a black and white world where he must fire his weapon at piles of leaves and wind chimes to survive.

If you’re thinking, what stopped children from shoving things like dirt and rocks into the blaster and launching them into the air? Well, nothing stopped children from doing that. That is exactly the sort of thing that children will do. This, aside from the hearing damage, is one more reason you can’t buy anything like the Zero-M Sonic Blaster for today’s sheltered children.^[6]

4 Clackers

Like many toys from the ’60s and ’70s, Clackers were simple. Two balls were attached to a string that a child could smack together to make a loud and pleasing (at least to the child) sound. Banging two balls together doesn’t sound so bad; however, the original clacker balls were made of glass.

What do you think might happen when a small child wildly and violently bangs glass balls together? As you might expect, the glass shattered, sending dangerous shards in all directions. The Food and Drug Administration banned the toys in 1971, leading Sarah Slobin from Quartz to pen a piece where she argues the outcry over the clackers may have been responsible for “sowing the seeds for the helicopter parenting style of today.”^[7]

3 Zulu Blow Gun

In the 1950s, the Zulu Blow Gun was a favorite among children, allowing them to blow into the gun and launch foam pellets at each other. The problem is when the child sucked in air deeply to be able to blow it out and launch the gun, they sometimes sucked in with the gun to their mouth, launching the pellet directly down their throat rather than into the air.

Blow darts toys are still available today, but modern children are protected from inhaling foam into their lungs by the use of one-way mouthpieces.^[8]

2 Baby Cages

It’s a tough individual indeed who spent their toddlerhood suspended out a 10-story high-rise window inside a metal wire cage. Baby cages were around mainly from the 1920s to the 1950s, and their purpose was to give parents living in small city apartments a chance to provide their children with some fresh air and sunshine.

The interest in baby cages, which were invented by Emma Read in 1922, most likely stemmed from the 1884 book The Care and Feeding of Children. In this book, a section labeled “Airing” recommended that children get fresh air regularly. Amazingly enough, there don’t seem to be any accidents or deaths from baby cages, but you won’t see any babies suspended from high-rise apartments today.^[9]

1 Empire Little Lady Stove

Although many items on this list are in the category of so-called traditional “boy’s toys,” don’t let that lead you to believe that the conventional “girl’s toys” were any less dangerous. The glass-blowing kit may have been deemed “for boys,” but the Empire Little Lady Stove had exposed burners and could reach exceedingly high temperatures of up to 600°F (315°C), proving the girls of this era were just as hardcore.

The Empire Little Lady Stove was a victim of the first federal safety standard for toys. In 1969, the toy was banned by the National Commission on Product Safety.^[10]