Social etiquette is more than just a set of polite behaviors—it embodies the values, hierarchies, and unspoken rules that define a culture. In many ancient civilizations, these customs were sacred, with breaches leading to humiliation or even severe punishment. While many of these etiquette practices have faded with time, their echoes can still be felt today, subtly influencing modern social norms and cultural behaviors.

Exploring these ancient customs offers us a window into the complexities of human interaction and the profound importance once placed on seemingly small actions. Here are ten fascinating social etiquette rules from ancient civilizations that time has forgotten.

Related: 10 Social Conventions You Might Be Taking for Granted

10 Don’t Look Directly at the Emperor (Ancient Rome)

In ancient Rome, the emperor was not just a political leader but was often considered a living deity embodying the state’s power and divine favor. Citizens and even nobles were expected to show the utmost respect in his presence, which included avoiding direct eye contact. Looking directly at the emperor was more than impolite—it was a symbolic affront to his elevated status, akin to challenging his authority or questioning his supremacy.

This etiquette was strictly enforced during public appearances, ceremonies, and court proceedings. When citizens approached the emperor to plead cases or seek favors, they would do so with bowed heads and eyes cast downward, demonstrating submission and respect. Even high-ranking officials and soldiers adhered to this practice, acknowledging the vast gulf between the ruler and the ruled.

Failure to observe this rule could result in social ostracism or severe consequences, underscoring the rigid social structures of ancient Rome. The practice reinforced the social hierarchy and maintained the emperor’s near-divine status in the eyes of the people.^[1]

9 The Two-Finger Salute for Greetings (Medieval Europe)

In medieval Europe, religion permeated every aspect of life, including greetings. The two-finger salute, widely used across the continent, was a symbol of religious devotion. By raising two fingers—the index and middle fingers—individuals affirmed their belief in the Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. This simple gesture served as both a greeting and a silent affirmation of one’s orthodox beliefs.

During times of religious strife, such as the Crusades or the Inquisition, failing to use this gesture appropriately could lead to suspicion, ostracization, or even accusations of heresy. The two-finger salute was not just a polite custom but a crucial tool for social survival in an era when religious conformity was enforced by severe penalties.

Merchants and travelers also used the salute to indicate their faith and good intentions when entering new towns or engaging in trade. It facilitated trust among strangers in a fragmented landscape of feudal territories and varying local customs.^[2]

8 Never Eat with Your Left Hand (Ancient India)

In ancient India, the distinction between the left and right hand was deeply embedded in social norms and religious practices. The left hand was reserved for tasks considered unclean, such as personal hygiene. Meals were more than just eating—they were communal rituals that reinforced social bonds and religious observances. Using the right hand to eat honored the sanctity of the food and the occasion, reflecting broader concepts of purity central to Hinduism.

Using the left hand during meals was considered impure and disrespectful, not only to the food but also to fellow diners and the divine. This rule extended beyond the home into social and religious gatherings, where adherence to this etiquette was a sign of respect to hosts and guests alike.

Even today, in many parts of South Asia and the Middle East, this custom persists, highlighting the lasting impact of ancient practices on modern cultural norms.^[3]

7 Cover Your Head Indoors (Ottoman Empire)

In the Ottoman Empire, social etiquette required men to keep their heads covered indoors, especially in places of religious or social importance like mosques or private homes. This custom was rooted in notions of humility before God and respect within the social hierarchy. The head covering, often a fez or turban, was a symbol of one’s faith and societal status.

Removing one’s head covering in inappropriate contexts was more than a breach of etiquette; it was a potential act of defiance or disrespect. The strict enforcement of this custom reflected the empire’s emphasis on maintaining social cohesion and visual markers of identity.

The practice extended beyond religious settings to formal meetings and social gatherings, reinforcing the importance of modesty and respect in daily interactions. While the Ottoman Empire no longer exists, the legacy of head-covering customs continues to influence cultural practices in the region.^[4]

6 Bow Before Speaking (Feudal Japan)

In feudal Japan, social interactions were governed by strict codes reflecting one’s status and role. Central to these interactions was the act of bowing, or “ojigi,” which conveyed respect, gratitude, apology, and other sentiments without words. When addressing a superior, especially a daimyo (feudal lord), one was expected to bow deeply before speaking.

Failing to perform the proper bow was a grave breach of etiquette, implying arrogance or disrespect. For the samurai class, who lived by the strict code of Bushido, adherence to proper bowing was a matter of honor and discipline. Neglecting this could lead to serious consequences, including loss of status or even duels.

Bowing before speaking maintained the social hierarchy and reinforced mutual respect, essential components of Japanese society at the time. The practice highlighted the importance placed on non-verbal communication and the subtle nuances of social interaction.^[5]

5 Never Step on the Threshold (Ancient Egypt)

In ancient Egypt, the threshold of a home was more than just a physical boundary—it was a spiritual one. Stepping directly on the threshold when entering someone’s house was considered disrespectful to both the host and the protective deities believed to guard the home. Egyptians believed that the gods watched over families from the entrance, and stepping on the threshold could anger these protective spirits.

Guests were expected to step over the threshold, acknowledging the sacredness of the entrance and showing respect for the household’s divine guardians. This practice emphasized the importance Egyptians placed on hospitality, spirituality, and the sanctity of the home.

Such customs reinforced social bonds and religious beliefs, integrating everyday actions with spiritual significance. While the specific practice may have faded, it reflects the profound connection between daily life and the divine in ancient Egyptian culture. ^[6]

4 Silence Is Golden (Imperial China)

In Imperial China, Confucian principles shaped societal norms, including etiquette surrounding speech. One of the most important virtues was self-restraint, and in the presence of elders or superiors, it was expected to remain silent unless spoken to. Speaking out of turn or at length was considered a sign of arrogance and disrespect.

Silence maintained harmony by acknowledging the proper social order and showing deference to those of higher status. This etiquette was especially important in familial settings and official courts, where hierarchy was strictly observed.

Failure to adhere to this rule could lead to loss of face, a concept deeply ingrained in Chinese culture that pertains to one’s honor and reputation. The emphasis on measured speech and respect contributed to social cohesion and reflected the value placed on harmony and order.^[7]

3 Don’t Show the Sole of Your Foot (Ancient Mesopotamia)

In ancient Mesopotamia, the feet were considered the dirtiest part of the body due to constant contact with the ground. Showing someone the sole of your foot, even unintentionally, was seen as a grave insult. The sole was associated with filth both physically and symbolically, and displaying it to someone was akin to calling them unclean.

This etiquette influenced how people sat and interacted, ensuring that the soles of their feet were not exposed to others. It extended to formal settings, where individuals were mindful of their posture to avoid offending others.

The practice underscores the importance placed on cleanliness and respect in social interactions. Variations of this custom persist in some cultures today, highlighting the lasting impact of ancient social norms.^[8]

2 The Left Seat for Guests of Honor (Ancient Greece)

In ancient Greece, seating arrangements at social gatherings were significant, particularly during symposiums or banquets. The seat to the left of the host was reserved for the guest of honor, considered the most prestigious position. This placement symbolized the host’s trust and affection, as the left side was associated with the heart.

Hosts carefully arranged their guests to ensure everyone was seated according to their status, reflecting the importance of hospitality and social order. Misplacing someone in the hierarchy could lead to social tension or offense.

This etiquette emphasized the Greek values of xenia (hospitality) and respect for social hierarchies. Proper seating was a tangible expression of these virtues, reinforcing relationships and societal norms.^[9]

1 Cover Your Mouth When Laughing (Victorian England)

In Victorian England, etiquette rules were enforced rigidly, especially regarding women’s behavior. Women were expected to cover their mouths while laughing or smiling broadly. Modesty was a prized virtue, and excessive displays of emotion were considered unladylike and could damage a woman’s reputation.

This small gesture allowed women to demonstrate decorum and self-restraint, key virtues in Victorian society. It reflected the era’s strict ideas about femininity and proper conduct, where maintaining an air of modesty and reserve was paramount.

While men had more leeway in their expressions, women were held to stringent standards that dictated their behavior in public and private spheres. The practice highlights the gender norms and social expectations of the time.^[10]

Etiquette used to be the glue that held society together. It enabled people to get on with friends and neighbors without causing offense or harm. Sadly, these days it has mostly gone by the wayside. This list is of 10 of the best rules of etiquette that have now vanished. Perhaps it will inspire some to revive them!

I have made this item 10 because it is more a case of correct dress rather than manners. First off, if your wedding is before 6 in the evening, you should not wear a tuxedo (black tie) or tails (white tie). You should either wear a formal suit or – if you want to be very proper – a morning suit. There is an excellent article here that will explain the rules of wedding dress for men. It is customary for the groom to give a tie to each of the men in the wedding party. If you are wearing a morning suit or a formal suit, give your wedding party ties that are similar but do not match. You want the party to look similar – but not like members of a choir. The photograph above shows you how this can be done to very good effect. It is, of course, Prince Henry and Prince William at their father’s wedding. If you are getting married after 6pm, you can wear a tuxedo or tails as these are evening clothes. Here is a guide for wearing tails.

In days gone by, a gentleman would always open doors for ladies. Whether it be the lady they were driving, or a stranger entering a building, it was always the done thing. This has now almost entirely vanished – and it is not entirely the fault of the men. I have seen women sneer at men for opening a door for them. They seem to be confusing manners with chauvinism. My advice in this case is to smile at the sneering lady and open the door anyway.

In days gone by, whenever a person received a gift, they would write a thank-you as soon as possible. This rule was true even if the giver was a relative. Parents would sit children down after a birthday or Christmas and coach them in their first thank-you notes. It is a shame that gift giving has now become a virtual obligation and the idea of a thank-you note would be scoffed at. If you ignore every other item on this list, at least try to teach your children to write thank you notes – they will have a greater appreciation of gifts they receive.

When people had a wedding or a special occasion party in the past, they would never have considered having a “gift registry”. To do so would be tantamount to asking people for a gift – which is extremely rude even today. It would also have been considered rude to say something like “no gifts” as it implies that gifts are an expected obligation. I can honestly say that I have never received a wedding invitation that didn’t also invite me to purchase a gift at my friend’s favorite shop. People seem to think it is okay as long as they include a few “cheap” gifts to balance out the extraordinary number of incredibly expensive gifts that I can’t even afford for myself! I have seen wedding registries that contain gifts valued in the thousands of dollars. Wedding invitations did not mention gifts – they did not ask for them and they did not include such silly things as “no gifts!” or worse still “donations to [insert charity no one cares about except you] in lieu of gifts”

We seem to have completely lost the concept of correct timing when it comes to parties these days. People leave when they are bored, when they want to go to another party, when they are too drunk, when they are not drunk enough, the excuses are endless. First of all, a party normally has a guest of honor – this is usually the oldest woman present. It was considered extremely rude in the past to leave a party before the guest of honor – and once the guest of honor left, it was a signal to all that they should begin their own preparations to leave. The loss of this etiquette rule is because we have largely thrown away the concept of a guest of honor.

This seemed a fitting item to follow the previous: in the olden days it was rude to arrive late. There was no such thing as being “fashionably late”. Lateness was rudeness – always. In most houses, if you were invited to dinner and turned up 15 minutes late, you would end up eating alone in the kitchen surrounded by the household staff, only to be allowed to join the party when the polite guests (who arrived on time) had finished and were retiring for the evening’s entertainment.

I could write a whole list on the lost etiquette of dinner – but I shall simply abridge it for this list. First of all, people used to dress for dinner – and they would all eat together at the table. Dressing for dinner emphasized the importance of family and healthy food. It is no wonder that now that we scoff food down in front of TV and all eat at different times, that we are becoming fatter as a race. This is one area where I try particularly hard to follow the rules. I don’t dress for dinner, but I sit with my family every night at the dinner table. I strongly recommend it as a good way to build up a good family spirit.

I had to add this item because there is a brilliant and funny quote relating to it. Let’s start with the quote (it is from “Everyday Manners” by Emily Post):

[P]arents must never disagree before the children. It simply can’t be! Nor can there be an appeal to one parent against the other by a child.
“Father told me to jump down the well!”
“Then you must do it, dear,” is the mother’s only possible comment. When the child has “jumped down the well,” she may pull him out promptly, and she may in private tell her husband what she thinks about his issuing such orders and stand her own ground against them; but so long as parents are living under the same roof, that roof must shelter unity of opinion, so far as any witnesses are concerned.

That is how a strong a rule it was! I bet you won’t find any parents today who agree strongly with this one.

This is probably the rule most ignored these days: in the old days, people walking on the street would dress discreetly, talk discreetly, and never do anything which would draw attention to themselves. It was forbidden to mention names of friends as it is indiscreet. The gentleman always walked on the road side of the sidewalk – to protect the lady or ladies from passing traffic (which the two fakes in the photo above appear not to know). People would not look or talk to strangers passing and would never call out to a friend on the other side of the street.

This is another large topic. Let’s give a quick rundown: A gentleman would have never:

1. Borrowed money from a lady
2. Borrowed money from a man without security and the intention to pay it back as quickly as possible
3. Discussed money
4. Discussed his possessions or their cost
5. Name dropped: “When I was dining with Mr Rich…”, “I am great friends with Miss Gottabuck”

On the other hand, he would have assumed the debts of a deceased family member as it was a debt of honor. How far we have come! Money and the pursuit of wealth has become so obvious these days that a whole new term has been coined because of it: conspicuous consumption. There was once a day that we did not try to keep up with the Joneses – because we didn’t know what the Joneses had and no one knew what we had.