It can be hard to find that special someone. Fortunately, history is here to help. Whether you are looking for “the one” or want to become a real Casanova, these dating tips are guaranteed to help you out. (Disclaimer: Not actually a guarantee.)

10 Use A Fan For Subtle Flirting

Fans have been around for thousands of years but became a hot fashion accessory in 18th-century Europe. Ever resourceful, women realized that the fan could be used for more than just appearances, and soon enough, they started using a secret “fan language” to flirt with their male admirers.

While you might think that using a fan to communicate would be rather limited, there were actually over 30 messages that women could convey to the men fortunate enough to learn this “language.” For example, hiding the eyes behind an open fan simply said, “I love you.” Carrying the open fan in the left hand expressed a desire to talk while twirling the fan in the left hand warned the man that they were being watched.

9 Find A Partner At The Marriage Market

In the Histories, Herodotus writes of an ancient custom in Babylonian villages which ensured that everyone found a partner, including the poorest men and the ugliest women. They went to the marriage market, where men would bid for their new wives.

It started off as a regular auction. The best-looking women would go first, as they got the highest bids, meaning that they typically married the wealthiest men. Things switched when the auction got to the women who were considered ugly, crippled, or too old. The auctioneer would pay participants to take them as wives. Each bid got lower, and the winner was the man who accepted the lowest bid. The money was paid from the profits from auctioning off the beautiful girls. This way, every woman found a husband, and the poorer couples also gained a dowry.

The market was open to all, even people from other villages. Fathers weren’t allowed to marry their daughters to the people they wanted, and bidders had to provide a backer who would guarantee their intention to marry. In case things didn’t work out, every sale came with a money-back guarantee.

8 Share A Secret Language

Privacy has always been an issue for new lovers. In the olden days, it was even harder for lovebirds to evade the watchful eyes of their parents, who were always there to make sure no funny business was going on prior to marriage. A clever way to continue saying sweet nothings to each other, even with the parents in the room, was to learn Morse code.

This tip comes courtesy of Thomas Edison, who employed this strategy to woo his second wife, Mina Miller. The couple met soon after the death of Edison’s first wife, Mary. Mina’s father, Lewis Miller, was also a renowned inventor. He developed the first front-mounted combine harvester.

Even though Mina was 20 years old when her relationship with Thomas began, and Edison was 39, the two were still wary of public displays of affection around her parents. That’s why Edison taught her Morse code, and according to him, he also proposed to her using Morse code.

7 Don’t Get Drunk In Front Of The In-Laws

Impressing the parents of your beloved might not be that important nowadays, but it used to be vital, since historically, the bride needed her father’s permission to marry. That being said, a good suggestion might be to not make a drunken fool of yourself in front of your would-be in-laws.

Nobody knew that better than Hippocleides of Attica. Back in the sixth century BC, Cleisthenes, the tyrant of Sicyon, wanted to marry off his daughter, Agariste. Instead of simply accepting a bride price, he organized a competition to find the best suitor. His call was answered by 12 of the most eligible bachelors in the Greek world.

The suitors went through challenges such as chariot racing and wrestling to prove their worth. By the end of the competition, Hippocleides became Cleisthenes’s favorite to win his daughter’s hand in marriage. However, at a banquet in the suitors’ honor, Hippocleides got very drunk and started acting like an idiot. At one point, he did a handstand and started kicking his legs in the air in rhythm with the music. An angered Cleisthenes told Hippocleides that he “danced away his wife.” Agariste married Megacles, instead.

6 Be Practical

Sometimes, you get better results by showing your practical side. That’s a lesson we can learn from the ancient Egyptians, who, as far as we can tell, did away with fancy courtship rituals and complicated ceremonies. If a woman moved her stuff from her parents’ house into a man’s house, that meant they were married. There was typically a prenuptial agreement in place between the husband and the wife’s father, which outlined who got what in the event of a breakup.

Divorces also seemed to be a straightforward affair, particularly for that time period. Couples were expected to stay together for life (and beyond), but in the event of a split, they divided their possessions, and the children went with the mother. This didn’t apply in the case of adultery, which was heavily frowned upon and carried severe punishments (even death).

None of this is to say that a practical marriage had no room for love or romance. Vizier Ptahhotep wrote The Maxims of Ptahhotep, a collection of wisdom to be passed down to newer generations. In it, he advised husbands to “love [their] wife; feed her and clothe her well; make her happy.” Some of the earliest examples of romantic literature came from Egyptian inscriptions in which men praised the beauty of their wives.

5 Spend Some Quality Time Together

History has never been shy about making it clear that a woman’s place was at home, taking care of the household while the man went out and did things. However, Teutonic women firmly believed their place was next to their husbands, even during war. They followed the men from skirmish to skirmish. They would perform tasks such as feeding the men and tending to the wounded but would not hesitate to take up arms when the need arose.

Plutarch writes of Roman legionaries invading a Teutonic camp and being pushed back by women wielding swords and axes, who endured wounds and slashes with “undaunted resolution.” This kind of determination led to the rise of the Latin phrase furor Teutonicus, a ferocity in battle shared by both Teutonic men and women.

The chastity and devotion of Teutonic women was another trait evoked by historians. The Teutons were virtually wiped out by Romans at the Battle of Aquae Sextiae in 102 BC. Valerius Maximus wrote that the women pleaded to become sacred servants of Vesta instead of slaves. When their request was refused, they committed mass suicide.

4 Try Love In A Bottle

People who hadn’t managed to snag that special someone could resort to a little chemical assistance in the form of a love potion. Almost every culture in existence has its own food or drink or behavior which is meant to increase libido, make people fall in love, or even cure impotence. There are valid reasons for this: Some of the ingredients used in aphrodisiacs genuinely have positive effects. Even those that don’t work could still cause some improvement thanks to the power of the placebo effect.

In a medieval book on plants and animals, Albertus Magnus informs us that a concoction of periwinkle mixed with leeks and earthworms, pulverized and sprinkled over food, can strengthen the love between a man and his wife. He also warns us that the same mixture thrown into a pond would kill the fish.

Marigolds were a popular ingredient during the Middle Ages and were used in many love potions. Certain Native American tribes preferred wild columbine. Jimsonweed was used throughout parts of India, which was especially dangerous, as it is a toxic plant, part of the nightshade family.

3 Write Your Feelings Down

Some people might have problems expressing themselves and would be better suited to writing their feelings down in a love poem. For inspiration, they could turn to the most romantic civilization in history: the Vikings.

We might think of the Vikings as having been all about the pillaging, but their poems and sagas are filled with stories of true love, particularly love that follows the couple into death. Njal’s Saga is an example. Njal’s wife is offered amnesty, but she chooses to die by his side to keep the promise she made when they got married.

In the Gesta Danorum, Saxo Grammaticus records the passionate song of Hagbaror before being hanged and after learning that his wife killed herself so that they could be together in the afterlife: “So let the encircling bonds grip my throat in the midst; the final anguish shall bring with it pleasure only, since the certain hope remains of renewed love.”

While the sagas exalted the love between husband and wife, courting an unmarried girl was downright dangerous. Salacious poems suggesting that the writer had intimate knowledge of a girl would greatly tarnish her honor and diminish her value as a wife. These practices could result in death, as the girl’s father or brothers would feel obligated to defend her name.

2 Exchange Gifts

One of the best ways to grab someone’s attention is with a thoughtful gift. Throughout history, material possessions have almost always been at the heart of marriages. Some cultures had a bride price or bridewealth: The groom had to pay money, land, or wealth to his future wife’s family. Other cultures had a dowry: The bride’s father had to contribute toward the groom’s family.

As marriage customs loosened up a bit, gifts between lovers became more common and more sensual, even without a commitment to marriage. Renaissance Italy was a period where such gift exchanges were common. Woven belts or girdles were given to young women, and they often featured provocative or romantic imagery, as they were associated with fertility. Brooches, pendants, and combs were also frequent choices for gifts.

1 Dissect A Woman To Learn Her Anatomy

This helpful tip comes from 19th-century French novelist Honore de Balzac. One of his lesser-known works was a treatise named The Physiology of Marriage, which uncovered the secrets of a loving, successful marriage. Among the many useful pieces of advice offered in the book, Balzac cautions us that marriage is a science and that a proper man should dissect at least one woman prior to marriage in order to study her anatomy.

Balzac believed that we all have a certain amount of energy. While most men used that energy for their jobs, women didn’t know what to do with theirs. Therefore, the husband would be well-advised to tire out his wife with constant work so that she didn’t fall prey to her passions or caprices. Balzac also warned men against letting women drink plain water, for some reason. He recommended water lightly tinged with Burgundy wine.

Despite his keen insights into marriage, Balzac married late in life, aged 50. This was 20 years after he wrote The Physiology of Marriage. He died five months later.

Dating is hard enough without the added terrors that apps can bring. In the U.S, an October 2019 study found that three-in-ten adults say they’ve used an online dating site or app. A total of 45% of those with recent experiences claim it was more frustrating than hopeful. While failed encounters are irritating, some people have utterly horrible stories. From robberies to unwanted sexual advances and even murder, here are the top 10 dating app horror stories. 

10 Ex-Date Sends 1,100 Strangers To Him For Sex or Drugs

Revenge pursuits generally lead to unpleasant situations for everyone involved. Matthew Herrick experienced an incredibly unique revenge plot from an ex-boyfriend he met on Grindr. Over five months, Herrick had 1,100 men show up at his Manhattan home and workplace expecting sex or drugs. Herrick’s ex had created fake Grindr accounts starting in October 2016 with Herrick’s photos and personal details. He also added lies, e.g., Herrick is HIV positive and enjoys rape fantasy and role-play. These lies explained to suiters why Herrick might appear resistant when they show up for sex. The strangers wouldn’t take “no” for an answer and even followed Herrick into the bathroom at work. 

In April 2017, Herrick sued Grindr for allowing the incident to occur. His lawyers questioned Grindr’s legal and ethical responsibilities when users abuse the platform, especially since there were over 100 reports on Grindr’s app flagging the fake profiles.

9 Her Date Loved Himself a Bit Too Much

A Reddit user shared a disturbing account online of her experience with a man she met through OkCupid. Although she thought he was cute, there were red flags all throughout their dinner conversation. They went to the movies, and during the trailers, he began to masturbate. She explains, “He just unzipped his pants and started going at it, and I sat next to him horrified!”

He justified his actions by saying every normal person jerks off in movie theaters. Um…okay… Next, he tried to have sex with her, which she declined. She moved across to the other side of the theater to watch the movie in peace. At least she enjoyed the movie!

8 Toilet-Loving Tinder Match Threatened Revenge Porn

Some people can’t take rejection very well, and Trent John Samuels, age 27, was one of them. Samuels matched with a woman on Tinder. They exchanged messages for a few weeks before she deleted him from her Snapchat account in December 2019. Apparently, he turned her off by a photo he sent her of him defecating on the toilet, with the caption “Poo time.” Unfortunately, during those weeks of conversation, she sent photos of herself and an intimate video where she had no underwear and touched herself. Samuels used a screenshot of the video to threaten her on Instagram, saying she should be careful and check his Instagram story. She went straight to the police, assuming he had already made the content public. 

With the threatening messages as evidence against him in court, Samuels pleaded guilty to revenge porn charges. This charge can carry up to three years in jail in Queensland, Australia. However, Samuels ended up with $2,500 in fines and was court-ordered to pay the victim $1,000 compensation. 

7 Men Posing as Women to Rob Their “Dates”

According to eHarmony, 20% of women had used older photos from when they looked younger, and over 40% of men lied about their jobs on their dating profiles. However, in 2020, some Maryland dating app users faced people lying about their gender and intentions. Men were posing as women on dating apps, only to show up and rob their date. The police indicated that the robbers would physically assault the victims before taking their wallets, car keys, and cell phones. In February 2020, Greenbelt police urged people to refrain from meeting strangers through dating apps. 

Other men in different U.S. cities have also used this scheme for robbery. In Detroit in 2020, police were seeking a serial robber posing as a woman on dating apps before forcing them to withdraw money from the ATM for him. Another group of three men and one woman also used this impersonation scheme in Chicago. Maybe it’s a sign to stay home—or at least do a background check on potential dates first!

6 He Was Robbed at Gun Point By His Date and Two Men

Sometimes, even a background check may not be helpful against people conning to rob you on a date, especially if your date is 31-year-old Shalena Lopez. An unidentified Californian man met Lopez on the dating app Meet Me. They set up their first date at the Eagle Mountain Casino in Porterville. At the casino, the daters met with Lopez’s relative, Mario Garcia. They also ran into her friend Cesar Cameron Domingo Jr. 

At the end of the night, the California man drove Lopez, Garcia, and Domingo home. In the car, Garcia shot a revolver twice and held the man at gunpoint. The trio told him to drive to an ATM to withdraw money and hand them his valuables. He called the Tulare County Police Department immediately after he dropped them off. Police were able to recover $400 of the stolen property. 

5 She Went On a Date With a Serial Rapist

Sexual assault is, sadly, a genuine threat women face when they are dating. And nothing proves this point more than Georgia-native Zach Anderson. Kelly Neagle met Anderson on OkCupid. She recalls him being a good-looking man who shared the same hobbies and interests as her. After a week of exchanging messages, they decided to meet at a grill and pub. “He just seemed like a normal, charming guy,” Neagle said. It wasn’t until they got into his car in the parking lot after drinks that “a switch went off.” He became aggressive, grabbed her thigh hard, and pulled her pants down before pulling the lever on the passenger side seat. He proceeded to sexually assault her. Neagle contacted OkCupid to warn them they had a rapist on their site. However, the site said they couldn’t find his profile. 

It turned out that Anderson had multiple OkCupid profiles, and his real name was Devin Richard Hartman. Hartman was a married father of three and a serial rapist. It was around two years later that Neagle got the opportunity to help put him away. In June 2014, Hartman had drugged and raped another woman, 28-year-old Jillian, after a date in midtown Atlanta. Jillian woke up at her apartment doorstep with no keys, no underwear, body aches, and blood around her private parts. Jillian went to the hospital and told the police her story. Investigations found that Jillian appeared disorientated after grabbing drinks with Hartman. Police later saw her on camera coming out of his car an hour later before a security guard helped her home in a taxi.

In late 2015, the courts convicted Hartman of rape and aggravated sodomy for his assault on Jillian. Three other women besides Neagle testified at his trial. The Superior Court Judge Constance Russell called Hartman a “predator” and sentenced him to two consecutive life sentences. Jillian recalls, “I was on a date with a monster, and I had no idea.”

4 She Was Murdered During The Second Date

In November 2017, Tinder matched 24-year-old Sydney Loofe from Lincoln, Nebraska, with Bailey Boswell. After a great first date, they agreed to meet up again the next day. The last time anyone heard from Loofe was on November 15th through a Snapchat photo with the caption “ready for my date.” She didn’t show up for work the next day and was reported missing on November 16th. Investigators later found out that Boswell had also brought along her 51-year-old boyfriend, Aubrey Trail, for the second date. 

Loofe’s friend, who had a picture of Boswell, found her profile on Tinder and sent it to the police. However, Boswell and Trail were already on the run. Bizarrely, Boswell and Trail started posting social media videos about the situation two weeks after Loofe went missing. They said they were innocent, felt bad for the family, and the police were trying to crucify them.  

On December 4th, police found Loofe’s dismembered body in garbage bags thrown into a field. In June 2018, police charged Boswell and Trail with first-degree murder and the improper disposal of human remains. Before the second date, they had dismembered Loofe using tools they bought at Home Depot. This story shows that even after a great first date, horrors can still be waiting on the next one. 

3 His Date Was Paid to Set Up A Robbery Leading to His Death 

Sometimes an innocent bowling date can turn deadly—and this next story is pretty tragic. For 27-year-old Florida father, Adam Hilarie, this was just the case. Hilarie met 18-year-old Hailey Bustos through the PlentyOfFish site and went on their first date in August 2016. After the date, Bustos wanted to see him again. However, she showed up with three men at Hilarie’s house. They robbed him of his TVs, Xbox, alcohol, jewelry, and iPhone before shooting him in the head. Hilarie hadn’t fought back and begged for his life, saying he had a 5-year-old daughter. Police arrested Andre Warner, Gary Gray, and Joshua Ellington for conspiracy to commit robbery, robbery with a firearm, and first-degree murder. In 2020, a jury found Andre Warner guilty of killing Hilarie execution-style. 

During investigations, police found that the men paid Bustos $50 to set up the robbery. Bustos claimed she didn’t know they would kill him. The moral of this story is don’t bring a date home after the first meet-up. 

2 She Was Attacked and Hospitalized After Breaking It Off

After becoming a widow, Mary Kay Beckman didn’t expect her life to be at risk when deciding to date again. Beckman was using the Match.com dating site for two months when it matched her with Wade Ridley in September 2010. After ten days of dating, Beckman broke it off. However, Ridley had become angry and created a kill list. Three months later, Ridley found Beckman and stabbed her ten times with a butcher knife until the knife broke. He then stomped her on the head and left, assuming she was dead. A neighbor called in the attack. Beckman was hospitalized for months going through head surgeries.

Ridley later met another woman, Anne Simenson, on Match.com and successfully killed her with a machete knife. Las Vegas police arrested Ridley for Simenson’s murder, and during interviews, Ridley confessed to his kill list. Police charged Ridley with attempted murder and robbery, and a judge sentenced him to 28 to 70 years in prison. However, in May 2012, Ridley committed suicide. 

Although Beckman survived the attack, the incident still haunts her. Beckman said she would never use a dating app again and sued Match.com for $10 million. 

1 He Went On A Date With A Murderous Cannibal

A London Metropolitan Police officer, Gordon Semple, met 51-year-old Stefano Brizzi on the dating app Grindr. They decided to meet up at Brizzi’s apartment, where Brizzi strangled Semple to death. Inspired by the show Breaking Bad, Brizzi tried to dismember Semple’s body in an acid-filled bath. Ugh, terrible. Although Brizzi doesn’t remember doing this because he was high on crystal meth, prosecutors explained he also tried to eat Semple’s flesh. Double terrible! Police found Semple’s body in the oven, in a tea strainer, and on chopsticks. There was also Brizzi’s bite mark on the rib. Triple terrible.

In 2016, the courts sentenced Brizzi to life in prison. However, Brizzi hanged himself two months into his sentence.