Are you someone who considers birds a great pet, with a bevy of cockatoos or parrots sitting peacefully in their cages? Or have you had another experience, like a chicken pecking at you as you collect eggs? Regardless of your experience, we have Alfred Hitchcock to thank for creating a fear of what many consider a harmless creature in The Birds. After watching it, you will likely form another opinion of ravens and seagulls.

Interestingly, a flock of crows is called a “murder,” but crows are not the birds to be afraid of. Deaths caused by birds are rare, but they do happen and can be really freaky! Here are ten such killings caused—directly or indirectly—by our feathered… friends.

Related: 10 Terrifying Tales Of When Squirrels Attack

10 Washington Man Killed by Ostrich

Ostriches have the “head in the sand” reputation of being cowardly, preferring to run from threats. But when threatened or cornered, the powerful bird can be dangerous and will attack.

In June 1999, Linda Carter was shocked to discover her father, 81-year-old Fred Parker, lying dead in an ostrich pen on her exotic animal farm near Seattle, Washington. Parker, who was afraid of ostriches according to his family, was living in a recreational vehicle on Carter’s farm. While alone one weekend, he took responsibility for feeding his daughter’s ostriches, emus, llamas, and pot-bellied pigs.

Carter explained that the ostriches were supposed to be fed by throwing food over the fence and was unable to explain why her father had entered King Tut’s pen. The 400-pound bird stomped or kicked Parker and broke the man’s neck. It’s thought that Parker’s bad heart may have contributed to his death as well.

One year earlier, King Tut kicked Carter, sending her flying more than 3 meters (10 feet). She defends the bird and maintains her booming business of selling ostrich meat and skin. “I have no intentions right now of destroying my ostrich because of my father’s death,” she said. “The ostrich was protecting his domain. It’s just like any wild animal. You don’t go in a bear’s pen; you don’t go in an ostrich’s pen.”^[1]

9 Ethiopian Child Killed by Martial Eagle

A town in the Somali region of Ethiopia was under attack… by a terrifying martial eagle. Residents of the area believed all of the repeating attacks came from the same bird.

In September 2019, at least three children were pecked or clawed by the vicious bird. One woman was in her house when she heard her son screaming. “We rushed outside the house. I saw [the bird] holding my son on the ground and biting him,” she told the BBC. “He was crying ‘Mother… Mother!’ I ran to him and threw a stick at the bird.”

The action likely saved the boy’s life because another child was not so lucky—he was clawed to death. Armed with shoot-to-kill orders, police began actively hunting the vicious eagle. Authorities believe that the rogue eagle mistook children for its usual prey.^[2]

8 Hominid Child Killed by Crowned Hawk-Eagle

The Taung child, unearthed in South Africa in 1924, is a hominid skull believed to be 2 million years old. It was long thought that the 3- or 4-year-old was killed by a leopard or a saber-toothed tiger.

But in January 2006, Johannesburg paleoanthropologist Lee Berger asserted that the Taung child had been scooped up by a large bird of prey that ripped out and ate the child’s eyes. The murderous bird was likely a crowned hawk-eagle, which still today preys on small primates in Africa.

The Taung child’s skull revealed bone damage that distinguishes bird-of-prey kills from those of big cats. “These critical clues were puncture marks in the base of the eye sockets of primates, made when the eagles ripped the eyes out of the dead monkeys with their sharp talons and beaks,” Berger said. “It was a marker that others hadn’t noted before, that linked eagles definitively to the kill.” The marks on the Taung child were perfect examples of eagle damage.^[3]

7 Australian Woman Killed by Chicken

An unnamed 76-year-old woman was gathering eggs from her rural Australian property in August 2019 when she was pecked to death by a rooster. The bird’s beak punctured a varicose vein, which hemorrhaged and caused the woman to collapse. She died from blood loss before paramedics arrived. In addition to her varicose veins, the victim had also been diagnosed with hypertension and Type II diabetes.

“Even relatively small domestic animals may be able to inflict lethal injuries in individuals if there are specific vascular vulnerabilities present,” read a report in the Journal of Forensic Science, Medicine, and Pathology, adding that the freak incident shows how vulnerable the elderly are.^[4]

6 Australian Baby Dies during Magpie Attack

In August 2021, an Australian woman was holding her 5-month-old daughter when a magpie swooped at them. As she attempted to avoid the bird’s dive-bomb attack, the mother tripped and fell. Baby Mia died from the head injuries she sustained in the fall.

Magpies, which grow to about 40 centimeters (15 inches) long, are native to Australia. They are notorious for aggressively defending their nests, especially during the July to December breeding season. The sharp-beaked black-and-white birds are a protected species in Australia, where it is illegal to kill the bird or remove its chicks or eggs from the wild.

But Queensland’s “Magpie Alert” website logged 1,231 magpie swoops in 2020. Thousands more were reported across the rest of Australia. More than one in ten people swooped by magpies suffer injuries. In 2020, a Melbourne man nearly had his eye plucked out by a magpie. In 2019, a 76-year-old Sydney man died of head injuries after crashing his bicycle while attempting to avoid a swooping magpie. And in 2018, a child in Perth was almost blinded when a magpie attacked his face while he sat in his stroller.

“Swooping season only occurs when the male magpies are defending the chicks in the nest,” said Sean Dooley from BirdLife Australia. “While it’s only the male magpies that swoop and only 10 percent of males do swoop… the consequences, especially when people are caught unaware, can be truly terrifying and devastating.”^[5]

5 Tragedian Playwright Killed by a Carrion Bird’s Prey

A carrion bird was blamed for the unusual death of 67-year-old playwright Aeschylus. In 455 BC, the “Father of Greek Tragedy” died when the high-flying bird dropped its tortoise dinner on the man’s head.

The bird, most likely an eagle or vulture, had likely mistaken the top of Aeschylus’s bald head for a rock or hard surface suitable for shattering the tortoise’s shell. The lammergeier vulture, common in southern Europe at the time, carried large bones high in the air and dropped them onto rocks before descending to feed on the exposed marrow (a technique that also worked for tortoise shells).

Ironically, according to Naturalis Historia by Roman author Pliny the Elder, the tragedian Aeschylus had intentionally spent time outdoors to avert a prophecy that he would be killed by a falling object.^[6]

4 UK Man Killed by Pigeon Dust

Pigeons are both reviled and revered: detestable “rats with wings” to some and symbols of peace and domesticity to others. For at least 5,000 years, pigeon fanciers across the world have been practicing pigeon keeping.

Bill Brailsford was a champion pigeon fancier for nearly 80 years. Brailsford kept his winning pigeons, sometimes as many as 170, at his Derby home. In September 2010, the 91-year-old died from extrinsic allergic alveolitis, a lung disorder resulting from repeated inhalation of organic dust.

Brailsford’s grandson, 47, blamed the toxic dust created by the birds. “Pigeons were my grandad’s life; now he has been killed by them,” he said. After cleaning the birds out of his grandfather’s house, the younger Brailsford battled pneumonia and feared he was suffering from the same condition.

“I would advise other pigeon fanciers to wear masks and probably not to keep so many,” he said. The coroner, who attributed the death to exposure to dust from pigeon droppings and bird food, recorded the death as accidental.^[7]

3 Detroit Man Killed by Turkey

In April 2019, an unnamed 70-year-old biker died after being hit by a wild turkey. The victim was riding his motorcycle when several turkeys began to cross the road in front of him. One of the turkeys took flight and hit the man in the chest.

The man, who was wearing a helmet and protective clothing, lost control of his bike and hit a guardrail post, severing his leg below the knee. Medics transported him to a nearby hospital, where he died from his injuries.

Spring is the breeding season for wild turkeys in the East Northcentral U.S. The birds can become aggressive at this time, occasionally even charging, threatening, and acting aggressively toward people.^[8]

2 Indian Man Killed by Cockerel

In southern India, in February 2021, 45-year-old Thanugula Satish was killed by his own cockerel at an illegal cockfight. The young rooster had a 7-centimeter (3-inch) knife—a “kodi kathi”—attached to its leg and impaled its owner in the groin while attempting to escape the fight. Satish bled to death on the way to the hospital.

Police searched for the dozen or so people involved in the event—they faced charges of manslaughter, hosting a cockfight, and illegal betting. (Cockfighting was made illegal in India in 1960). The knife-wielding rooster was sent to live on a farm but will be called as evidence at the trial.

In January 2020, 55-year-old Saripalli Venkateswara Rao died after his throat was slashed by his bird’s kodi kathi. While raiding an illegal cockfight in October 2020, Philippine police lieutenant Christine Bolok bled to death after a rooster’s blade sliced his femoral artery.^[9]

1 Florida Man Killed by Cassowary

If there was any doubt that birds are dinosaurs, the cassowary puts it to rest. Native to Papua New Guinea and Australia, the cassowary is considered the most dangerous bird on the planet. Smithsonian Magazine describes the prehistoric-looking monstrous creature like this:

“Imagine an ostrich as described by H.P. Lovecraft, or maybe a turkey fused with a velociraptor. Weighing in at close to [68 kilograms] 150 pounds, she stands on powerful reptilian legs that let her stretch to [1.8 meters] six feet tall when she needs her full height. Though flightless, the cassowary is covered in a coat of long black feathers, against which her brilliant blue visage—crowned by a towering, keratinous casque—stands out like a symbol in a dream.”

The cassowary’s weapon is its claws. On each three-toed foot is a 12.7-centimeter (5-inch) toenail, “probably the closest thing you’ll find in nature to a railway spike.” The deadly talon can disembowel a human in an instant. The cautious, defensive, flightless bird rarely attacks without provocation, but it doesn’t take much to provoke it.

A Florida man who raised cassowaries was killed by one of his own. Marvin Hajos, age 75, fell between two cassowary pens in April 2019. The motion either startled one of the cassowaries or simply presented the opportunity for the bird to attack Hajos through the fence. The medical examiner said that Hajos died from the trauma inflicted by the bird and added, “I know ostriches and emus have their moments, but cassowaries are an extremely, extremely dangerous bird. You don’t want to fool around with them. They have no sense of humor.”

Cassowaries are bred for their meat in New Guinea, where they remain part of the diet. But in the U.S., they are more likely bred for high-paying hobbyists who want to add the monstrous bird to their exotic animal collections. Following Hajos’s death, the killer bird went up for auction with 100 or so fellow exotic animals kept on the Florida property.^[10]

Since the very earliest days of aviation, birds have posed a threat to aircraft. The idea that a small, winged animal could bring down a massive plane seems surprising, but such accidents have caused numerous near-misses as well as devastating crashes and deaths.

In 1905, Wilbur Wright—one of the two famous pioneering aviator brothers—wrote in his journal, “Twice passed over fences into Bread’s cornfield. Chased flocks of birds on two rounds and killed one which fell on top of upper surface and after a time fell off when swinging a sharp curve.” The plane didn’t crash, and no people were injured, but that would soon change.
https://wrightstories.com/bird-strikes/

Here are ten of the most infamous bird-related air disasters

10 Miracle on the Hudson

The most famous bird-strike incident in recent years has to be US Airways flight 1549. Pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger was at the controls of the Airbus 320 when it took off from LaGuardia Airport on January 15, 2009. With five crew members and 150 passengers on board, the flight heading to Charlotte, North Carolina, should have been a routine one. But minutes after takeoff, the plane ran directly into a flock of Canadian geese.

The sometimes-migratory Canadian goose can be a large bird, with heights ranging from up to 48 inches (122 centimeters) and weights up to 24 pounds (11 kilograms). One large goose hitting a plane could be dangerous, but a whole flock of them was enough to damage both engines of the huge airliner. Unable to restart the engines, Captain Sullenberger made the decision to set the plane down on the Hudson River. And less than five minutes after the strike, he landed on the water, saving the lives of all 155 people aboard.

The air disaster captivated the world, and the story was eventually made into a major motion picture, Sully, starring Tom Hanks. ^[1]

9 Losing Three Engines

Unfortunately, the passengers and crew of Eastern Airlines flight 375 weren’t as lucky. On October 4, 1960, the Lockheed L188A Electra took off from Logan Airport. Within moments, the plane flew into a flock of starlings. Although starlings are fairly small birds, weighing in at only a mere 3.5 ounces (100 grams), they do flock in huge numbers, sometimes 100,000 birds at a time.

When the plane hit the flock, a number of birds were sucked into engines 1, 2, and 4. Then, with a sudden and disastrous loss of power, the plane rolled and plunged into Winthrop Bay. Sixty-two people died in the crash, and the airplane was completely destroyed. During the investigation, 75 starling carcasses were found on the runway.

Imagine such tiny birds causing the deadliest bird-strike airplane crash in history!^[2]

8 A Flock of Gulls

Captain Sullenberger wasn’t the only hero pilot who saved the lives of his passengers and crew after a bird strike. On August 15, 2019, a Ural Airlines Airbus A321 taking off from Moscow’s Zhukovsky Airport collided with a flock of gulls. The flight’s captain, Damir Yusupov, was able to land the plane in a nearby cornfield, saving the lives of everyone on board. Although there were a reported seventy injuries, only one was serious enough to require hospitalization. Yusupov was praised as a hero, and images of grateful survivors standing in a cornfield brought to mind the survivors of flight 1549 standing on the watery wings in the Hudson.

Because of the crash, officials investigated the presence of birds and discovered them flocking around two nearby illegal landfills.^[3]

7 Gear up for Landing

On Thursday, September 15, 1988, an Ethiopian Airlines Boeing 737-260 struck a flock of pigeons. When the plane was about 100 to 200 feet (30 to 60 meters) above the ground, it lost power, and the engines began backfiring. Able to gain some altitude, the pilot turned away from nearby Lake Tana to return to the runway. During the return, both engines failed. The captain still tried to perform a gear-up landing, but when the 737 touched down, it broke apart and erupted in fire.

Initial reports said 31 of the 102 people on board died in the crash but warned there could be more deaths as two people could not be found. The final death toll was put at 35.^[4]

6 Beware the Whistling Swans

Pigeons, starlings, gulls, and geese aren’t the only birds to have caused crashes. In 1962, it was a flock of swans. On Friday, November 23, 1962, a Vickers 745D Viscount airplane, United Airlines flight 297, took off from Newark, heading to Washington, D.C. During the flight, it ran into a flock of whistling swans. Although whistlers are typically the smallest type of swans, they do have an average weight of 16 pounds (7.25 kilograms)—enough to bring down a commercial airplane.

During the flight, at least two birds struck the plane, one of them hitting a stabilizer. The structure was so weakened that the plane became uncontrollable. It crashed to the ground from approximately 6,000 feet, killing all 17 people aboard.^[5]

5 The Birdman Meets His Fate

The very first recorded death caused by a bird strike occurred in 1912. Calbraith Perry Rodgers became the 49th licensed aviator in the world after practicing flight for only one month. Learning of a $50,000 prize being offered by publisher William Randolph Hearst to the first person to fly from coast to coast in under 30 days, Rodgers purchased a 35-horsepower Model EX biplane from the Wright Company.

From the start, Rodgers’s journey was fraught with problems. Being partially deaf, having no navigation tools, and flying a plane Oliver Wright claimed wasn’t up to the trip resulted in numerous hard landings, engine failures, and even crashes. Rodgers realized he would never be able to make the trip in 30 days but was determined to finish anyway, and on December 10, 1911, he did exactly that. His national celebrity didn’t last for long. Just a few months later, on April 3, 1912, while performing at an air show in California, his plane flew into a flock of birds and crashed before a crowd of hundreds. The popular aviator, interestingly called “The Birdman,” was killed on impact.^[6]

4# Thunderbirds Lose Support Crew

Created in 1953, The Thunderbirds precision flying group was formed as the U.S. Air Force’s official demonstration team. Their exciting performances still provide thrills to audiences worldwide. But in 1958, the USAF mourned the loss of some of their own.

On Thursday, October 9, 1958, a Fairchild C-123B Provider was carrying a team of supporters for the Thunderbird flyers when it flew into a formation of geese. The aircraft crashed near Payette, Idaho, killing all 19 aboard.

A monument to the crew still stands in Payette, and a ceremony was held in 2018 to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the tragedy.^[7]

3 Cockpit Takeover

It isn’t just engines that can be damaged when planes and birds collide. Sometimes, an injury to the crew can have catastrophic consequences. On Wednesday, December 10, 1969, an Ilyushin IL-14P plane operated by Aeroflot/Georgia crashed about four minutes after takeoff. All 17 people aboard died in the crash, which occurred at about 1150 feet (350 meters) over the sea about 2.2 miles (3.5 kilometers) from Makhachkala, Russia.

According to subsequent reports, the cause of the crash was said to be a collision between the plane and a large flock of birds that destroyed the cockpit, not the engine. The report also mentions possible injuries to the crew and the involuntary descent of the aircraft.^[8]

2 Geese Problems

Planes are not the only airborne vehicles affected by bird strikes. On November 19, 2017, air ambulance Bell 407 N620PA was downed when the helicopter collided with a flock of geese. The pilot and two others on board were killed in the crash near Stuttgart, Arkansas.

After the crash, twelve bags of feathers and bird remains were recovered from the crash site and examined by the Smithsonian Institute. Their investigation concluded the remains were snow geese. The white feathers of the geese were actually found embedded in the pilot’s clothing and boot.^[9]

1 Red Hawk Down

Sometimes, it doesn’t even take an entire flock to bring down an aircraft. The deadly crash of a Marine helicopter at Camp Pendleton in 2011 was surprisingly caused by one single bird.

On September 19, 2012, the AH-1W Cobra twin-engine attack helicopter collided with a red-tailed hawk, one of the largest birds in North America. Investigators say the female hawk, weighing about 3 pounds (1.4 kilograms), with up to a 4-foot (1.2-meter) wingspan, struck the helicopter. Within one minute of impact, the rotor and top of the transmission separated from the vehicle. The helicopter broke apart and crashed to the ground, killing both Marine pilots on board. The crash also caused a 120-acre brush fire that had to be put out by other planes and helicopters dumping tons of fire retardant in the area.^[10]

Throughout history, birds have been symbols of our highest ideals. From songbirds to soaring eagles, they embody the beauty of nature, the devotion of parents, the freedom of the spirit… But are they really so aloof from our mucky, ground-bound ways?

Here are 10 birds with a surprisingly horrifying dark side.

10. Parasitic Jaeger

With its sharp wings and dark feathers, the parasitic jaeger (German for “hunter”) looks like an evil seagull. It acts like one too. The ‘parasitic’ part of its name refers to a habit of stealing food from other birds in mid-air. 

Chasing them down and snatching their prey, this bird is a “swashbuckling” pirate. In fact, like pirates, it spends most of its life out at sea – often over turbulent patches – “harrying other seabirds … attacking in groups, until they give up their catch.” It only comes ashore to have sex. In Europe it’s known as the Arctic skua for breeding on the tundras of the north. But even then it’s a menace, eating other birds and their eggs.

Plus it sounds like a crying baby.

9. Pelican

With their duck feet, flamingo heads, and symbolic association with selflessness, pelicans have a place in our heart. It may even have been the pelican, not the stork, that delivered our babies in folklore. They’ve certainly got the beak for it. 

Really, though, you should never leave your baby with a pelican – or anything else you love for that matter. When stressed or hungry, it snaps at all sorts and swallows other creatures indiscriminately. Goslings, baby penguins, ducks, pigeons, baby turtles, and chihuahuas have all fallen prey to the pelican. 

Once scooped up in the pelican’s bill, its prey sinks down the throat still alive. If the pelican’s hungry, it’ll go to the stomach; if not, it’ll go to the crop. This is the pelican’s food storage sac, where in the absence of enzymes mucus helps soften the prey.

8. Cassowary

Without this colorful flightless bird, some Australian plants wouldn’t grow. A number of seeds – too large for other frugivores to swallow – can only sprout once they’ve passed through the cassowary’s digestive tract. So that’s one thing in its favor.

However, the cassowary is also the most dangerous bird in the world. With a 4-inch dagger-like claw on each foot, it can “slice open any … potential threat with a single swift kick.” Add to that a running speed of up to 50 kilometers per hour, and a vertical jump height of nearly seven feet, and it’s frighteningly reminiscent of velociraptors. They even frighten each other. Mostly solitary, cassowaries are rarely affectionate when they meet. Males are quick to intimidate each other, while females make them flee with just a look. When they do communicate, though, its by ultra low frequency booms – the rumble of which we can feel in our bones.

Unsurprisingly, the cassowary has on occasion killed humans. Usually, they charge, kick, or jump on their victims but may also peck or head-butt, causing “puncture wounds, lacerations and bone fractures.” It’s no good hiding indoors; cassowaries are also known to kick and peck at doors and windows, sometimes breaking through glass. Interestingly, though, this is thought to be a pre-emptive strike on their reflection. Apparently cassowaries are so scary, they’re even scared of themselves.

7. Shoebill

The prehistoric-looking shoebill has long impressed humans. Not only did it feature in ancient Egyptian art, it continues to inspire today: the shoebill was the inspiration for Princess Zelda’s Loftwing or Guardian Bird in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword.

Over a meter tall with an eight-foot wingspan, the shoebill is a formidable hunter – preying on giant fish, snakes, baby crocodiles, and even Nile monitor lizards. Its most striking feature (literally) is its curving, clog-like beak, for which the Arabs called it abu markhub (“father of the slipper”). And while it may look like it’s smiling, that bill is a powerful weapon, clamping down and decapitating prey. It even sounds deadly to us – like a machine gun when it’s greeting other shoebills.

It’s not as a hunter that this bird shows its dark side, though; it’s back at the nest as a fledgling. There’s some heartbreaking footage in David Attenborough’s Africa: when a shoebill mother leaves her nest to fetch water, the older of her chicks bullies the other, viciously pulling and pecking at its down feathers. Already weak, the younger fledgling struggles to support its own weight. And when the mother returns and sees what has happened, she pragmatically favors the bully, neglecting the victim entirely. This may explain why it’s rare for more than one shoebill chick to survive.

6. Cuckoo

The call of the cuckoo is the first sign of spring, but birds have reason to fear it – even if they don’t always know. As brood parasites, cuckoos lay their eggs in other birds’ nests for host birds to raise as their own. It certainly saves on energy. Some even drop their eggs to a nest from the air – their thick shells, like bombs, breaking the hosts’ eggs on impact. 

But while it may look slapdash, the cuckoo’s approach is actually carefully planned. Nests aren’t picked at random; cuckoos stake them out in advance. Hiding in the shadows, they watch the hosts’ movements to synchronize their egg-laying and time their infiltration. Then, while the females sneak in, the males (which in some species resemble hawks) may provide a distraction, luring host birds away for a fight.

Neither does cuckoo parenting end there; they’ve been found to check up on their young. In fact, the great spotted cuckoo not only returns to check on its nestlings, it punishes birds that reject them – usually by killing their chicks. This mafia-style “protection racket” isn’t always necessary, though. While not directly raised by their parents, cuckoo hatchlings take after them: hatching earlier and stronger than their parasitized nest mates, they literally kick them out.

5. Reed Warbler

Beloved songbirds in Europe, warblers are an easy mark for cuckoos. Not only is a warbler mother unlikely to notice imposters, she’ll continue feeding even when they reach twice her size. Better still, she doesn’t seem to notice when they push her other eggs from the nest. This isn’t to say reed warblers are selfless or naive, however; they have a sly parenting strategy of their own.

Because male reed warblers only ever provide for one nest – even while they may have sired many – females of “low harem rank” destroy the eggs of their rivals. Researchers observed this behavior by filling artificial nests with plasticine eggs and matching the peckmarks to the warbler. Basically, when a mistress wipes out the first wife’s children, she moves up in line for support.

Newcomer single-parent females also try to gain from the kills. By building their nests close to a site of infanticide, they’re more likely to snap up the male.

4. Shrike

With its small stature, raccoon mask and high-pitched squeaky call, the shrike is undeniably cute. But it’s also a bird of prey – and a psychopath. You may have seen insects – beetles, for instance – impaled on a barb wire fence. It’s not an uncommon sight. It’s actually a sure sign a shrike is nearby (either that or a psychopath child). 

As a way of attracting mates, the shrike spikes insects, amphibians, lizards, small mammals, and even birds on fences or thorny trees and cacti. It’s also a way to store food – especially when it’s poisonous, giving time for the toxins to fade. Unlike other birds of prey, shrikes lack talons. So they rely on their hooked little beaks to fly prey to the spikes for impaling. In other words, prey can stay alive for some time in the shrike’s “pantry” or “larder” as it’s called – even while it’s slowly picked apart. 

Speaking of psychopathic children, shrikes learn this trick pretty young. Juveniles can be seen practicing with leaves, impaling them on branches near their nest.

3. Kea

This strikingly beautiful mountain parrot is a national treasure in New Zealand, featuring on bank notes, in novels, and old Maori myth. In the Scouts of New Zealand, ‘kea’ is also the name for a 5-8 year old member. It’s also a national pest.

Standing on the backs of sheep, the kea devours them alive – ripping out their loins with their beaks. One farmer in 2009 claimed to have lost up to 30 sheep in two months to “kea strikes.” In one grisly instance, he found the “entire intestinal cavity open.”

It’s a conundrum for New Zealanders. On the one hand, the bird is protected in the highest category of wildlife conservation. On the other, lamb is a primary export. The government’s current solution is to issue case-by-case permits to shoot keas – but they have to be “caught in the act.”

2. Black Vulture

Gathering like witches at derelict buildings, black vultures stalk turkey vultures to steal their food – hissing at them to scare them away. However, their real calling lies elsewhere. The species is notorious among Kentucky farmers for preying on livestock and pets. Apparently, “they like to play with the newborns … they’ll hop around and get the calf comfortable … before they peck out their eyes” – “then the tongue, then every last shred of flesh.” It’s over in minutes.

They’ve also been known to attack pregnant ewes – right as they’re giving birth, surgically skinning the mother to feast on her flesh and the lamb.

As with keas, there’s not a lot farmers can do. The Migratory Bird Treaty Act prohibits harming them without federal permission. Of course, like any species, they’re not entirely without merit (they’re great for clearing up roadkill), but it’s hard not to see them as evil.

1. Duck

Who doesn’t like ducks, with their innocent quacks and frequently colorful plumage? We’ll tell you: people who know their dark secret.

Male ducks (drakes) are among the three percent of birds with a penis – and of these they’re the best endowed. In fact, relative to body size, they’re the best endowed of any vertebrate. The Argentinian lake duck’s, for example, is four inches longer than its body. Even more uniquely, ducks’ penises are corkscrewed – like pigs’ tails with up to ten turns. And, “like a selection of sex toys from a vending machine in a strange alien bar,” they come in ribbed, ridged, and even toothy varieties.” 

Nothing wrong with that, you might say, except none of this evolved “for her pleasure.” It’s actually to stop her escaping. Because males outnumber females in most duck species, many drakes just can’t attract a mate. So instead they resort to violent, often deadly gang rape. This behavior is so ingrained in ducks that the penis has evolved to hook into the vagina. And, like a “sexual arms race,” the vagina has evolved its own defenses. For example, it may spiral in the opposite direction to the penis or feature “dead-end side pockets or cul-de-sacs” to capture unwanted sperm. Calling to mind the vagina dentata of folklore, some also have sharp turns or “teeth.”