Some people talk about the past like it was a free‑for‑all of love and expression, assuming that earlier societies lived in a kind of sexual utopia. The reality is far more tangled: crazy ways past cultures saw human sexuality were shaped by their own rules, myths, and power structures. If you grew up in any of these worlds, you’d probably have accepted their very different ideas as perfectly normal.
10 Ancient Greece
It’s often claimed that the ancient Greeks lacked any concept of homosexuality, and in a sense that’s accurate: a relationship between an adult male and a younger boy was not only tolerated but woven into the fabric of social life. Taking a boy as a lover was viewed as a cornerstone of elite education and mentorship, and the practice was celebrated in poetry and philosophy.
When two grown men chose to be lovers, however, the Greeks regarded the arrangement with a mix of curiosity and mild disapproval. One partner was expected to assume a “passive” or “female” role, and a man over seventeen who voluntarily embraced that position was labeled odd. While they wouldn’t face execution, gossip and social stigma would follow such a pairing.
The most famous example of adult male romance is the Sacred Band of Thebes, a military unit whose soldiers forged deep emotional bonds with each other. A contemporary praised them, declaring, “Perish any man who suspects these men either did or suffered anything that was base.” The endorsement hints that many still considered their love somewhat scandalous, despite the band’s battlefield success.
In short, adult male love was seen as unusual, perhaps even “base,” unless it involved a younger partner. The Greeks prized the mentorship model and were wary of two equal adults sharing a bedroom without the backdrop of a paternal‑like hierarchy.
9 Ancient Rome
The Roman outlook mirrored that of the Greeks but leaned a touch less forgiving. Slaves and teenage male prostitutes could be taken by a Roman male, yet a grown man who chose to be the receptive partner was branded effeminate, even pathologically ill, by the broader society.
Roman attitudes toward women who loved women were even stranger. Many Romans, including the poet Ovid, denied the existence of lesbianism altogether, calling it “a desire known to no one.” Ovid mused that, among all creatures, no female displayed desire for another female.
When faced with the undeniable presence of lesbian relationships, Roman writers—predominantly male—dismissed them as “against nature” and an “abuse of sexual powers.” Some even equated lesbianism with necrophilia, describing it as perverse as intercourse with a dead animal.
8 Native Americans
The term “two‑spirited” has become a rallying cry for modern LGBTQ+ communities, evoking a romanticized image of pre‑colonial America where gender‑nonconforming individuals were celebrated. In reality, about 130 of the more than 500 North American tribes recognized two‑spirited people, meaning it was far from universal.
Each tribe crafted its own definition of two‑spiritedness, but a common thread was the acknowledgment of individuals who crossed traditional gender lines. A boy who favored sewing or a girl who preferred hunting might be identified as two‑spirited and granted a special communal role.
Two‑spirited men could adopt women’s clothing and perform tasks traditionally assigned to women, yet this didn’t automatically label them as gay. They might marry opposite‑sex partners, remain heterosexual, or shift between masculine and feminine presentations depending on circumstance.
Thus, while two‑spirited status offered a unique social niche, it was not a blanket endorsement of same‑sex attraction; rather, it reflected a flexible understanding of gender and role‑allocation within each tribe.
7 Ancient China
Among the ancient world, China perhaps comes closest to the imagined “liberal sexuality” paradise, yet even there, the reality was more nuanced. Male concubines and handsome prostitutes were cherished, and stories of beloved male favorites abound in the historical record.
One tale tells of Mizi Xia, a handsome courtier of the Wei king who enjoyed a privileged position until his looks faded, after which the king turned hostile. Such narratives illustrate that while male lovers could ascend to high status, they remained vulnerable to the whims of power.
Unlike their Greek and Roman counterparts, Chinese elites did not deem same‑sex relationships scandalous. Emperor Ai’s affection for Dong Xian is legendary: when Dong fell asleep on the emperor’s sleeve, Ai cut off the sleeve rather than awaken his beloved, and courtiers mirrored the gesture by cutting off their own sleeves in tribute.
Despite these affectionate anecdotes, male lovers were rarely life partners. Most men maintained marriages, produced heirs, and treated same‑sex affairs as secondary pleasures, reflecting a societal expectation to fulfill familial duties while permitting discreet, non‑marital passions.
6 Mesopotamia
Assyrian law once decreed that a man caught in the act with a male neighbor would be made a eunuch—a stark prohibition that suggests homosexuality was officially condemned. Yet everyday life painted a more complicated picture.
While neighborly same‑sex encounters were forbidden, male prostitutes roamed the streets, and cross‑dressing priests whose sole vocation was to serve as lovers were openly accepted. Their presence indicates a pragmatic tolerance for regulated, transactional same‑sex activity.
A prophetic manual from the era offers a glimpse into societal attitudes: sleeping with a male prostitute was considered a favorable omen, yet it warned against falling in love with men, warning that “mating with men becomes his desire” would bring evil. So, casual encounters were fine, but emotional attachment was frowned upon.
The same text adds a bizarre twist: a man who copulated with an equal from the rear would, according to the omen, become a leader among his peers. This paradox shows that certain sexual acts could be imbued with symbolic power, even as love remained suspect.
Overall, Assyrian norms treated male‑male sex as a regulated activity—acceptable only in the context of prostitution or ritual, while genuine affection was relegated to the shadows.
5 Medieval Japan
By the fourteenth century, samurai culture had embraced a tradition known as shudō, where seasoned warriors took younger protégés as lovers. This bond mirrored the Greek pederastic model, and a samurai once declared that a young man without an elder lover was as forlorn as a girl without a fiancé.
Unlike the Greeks, Japanese society was more tolerant of adult male love. Aging couples were poetically described as “two old cherry trees still in bloom,” suggesting that lifelong same‑sex partnerships were celebrated rather than condemned.
Nevertheless, heterosexual marriage remained a societal expectation. Many samurai viewed marriage to women as a burdensome duty, preferring the emotional and sexual intimacy found in male‑male relationships.
The tension between male and female love sparked heated debate. Some outspoken samurai dismissed women as “creatures without any importance whatsoever,” proclaiming that sincere homosexual love represented true affection, while heterosexual desire was trivialized.
4 Medieval Europe
Common wisdom paints medieval Europe as a dark age where any deviation from heterosexual norms vanished into secrecy. The reality is more nuanced: while official doctrine condemned homosexuality, people found creative loopholes to live openly.
In France, the institution of affrèrement allowed two men to share a home, pool resources, inherit from each other, and essentially function as married partners. Ostensibly designed for brothers, the practice was co‑opted by unrelated men who used it to formalize their same‑sex unions.
These couples were not hidden; their communities knew of their arrangements and, while perhaps not fully endorsing them, tolerated the partnership under a thin, transparent veil. This pragmatic approach allowed lovers to exist without fear of outright persecution.
3 The Islamic Golden Age
The Qur’an is unequivocal in condemning male‑male desire, labeling those who “come to males in lust” as committing an indecency. This theological stance positioned homosexuality as a moral failing.
Yet, the lived reality of the Islamic Golden Age was more layered. A class of individuals known as the mukannathūn—men who resembled women—were celebrated as flamboyant lovers of other men. Though the Prophet Muhammad rejected them, later caliphs like Al‑Amin openly embraced same‑sex relationships.
These effeminate men often served as musicians and cultural influencers. Philosophers such as Al‑Kirmānī even argued that some people were born with a predisposition toward same‑sex attraction, suggesting a nascent understanding of innate sexuality.
2 The Victorian Era
The Victorian period is notorious for its prudish reputation, yet the streets of London teemed with thousands of prostitutes—estimates range from twenty‑to‑fifty thousand—indicating a vibrant, if hidden, sexual economy.
Amid this bustle, a fringe of extreme ascetics emerged, epitomized by John Kellogg, co‑inventor of corn flakes. Kellogg championed a draconian anti‑masturbation agenda, prescribing painful circumcisions for adolescent boys to associate pleasure with punishment, and advocating the application of carbolic acid to women’s clitorises to dampen desire.
He even suggested sewing the foreskin shut for adult men, rendering erections impossible. While Kellogg’s methods were extreme, they co‑existed with a bustling underworld of commercial sex, illustrating the era’s stark contradictions.
1 Ancient Egypt
When archaeologists uncovered two Egyptian men buried in an intimate embrace, many hailed ancient Egypt as a haven for queer love. However, apart from that single grave, the broader Egyptian record offers little evidence of widespread sexual liberalism.
One tale recounts King Pepi II’s clandestine nighttime rendezvous with a male lover, a scandal that underscores the covert nature of such relationships. Their secret meetings suggest that while same‑sex desire existed, it was not openly celebrated.
A darker myth provides deeper insight: the story of Seth assaulting his nephew Horus to claim the throne. Seth’s claim hinged on a forced sexual act, and the court approved, even spitting at Horus. This narrative reveals that Egyptian society could view a pedophilic, aggressive act as a legitimate path to power, while the victimized boy was devalued.
In Egyptian culture, being the passive partner in a male‑male encounter carried stigma; the bottom position was deemed inferior, even if the act itself wasn’t universally condemned.
Every Egyptian would have heard such myths from childhood, shaping a worldview where the hierarchy within same‑sex relations mattered more than the mere presence of desire.