The history books were penned by the learned and educated men of their day, so when we explore ancient cultures we often imagine a world of dignified, solemn scholars. Yet the remnants left behind by everyday folk paint a far more colorful picture—one full of sex‑obsessed banter, petty insults, and good‑old fashioned immaturity. In short, the masses of the past were just as trash‑talking, gossip‑loving, and craving‑driven as we are today. Below are 10 surprising ways we’re exactly like our ancestors, proving that human nature hasn’t changed all that much.
10 Surprising Ways That Reveal How Much We Resemble Our Ancestors
10 Trash Talking
Modern gamers and athletes love a good dose of trash talk, often with rules in place to keep it “sportsmanlike.” Turns out the ancients were equally fond of flinging insults, and scholars now study ancient graffiti to peek into the daily chatter of ordinary people. Their scribbles were not just vulgar—they were delightfully unfiltered, often more blunt than the average YouTube comment section.
Imagine strolling past a wall in Athens 1,500 years ago and seeing a massive scrawl calling Sydromachos a “backside as big as a cistern.” In Pompeii’s basilica you’d encounter jibes like “Epaphra, you are bald!” and “Epaphra is not good at ball games.” Even a house wall in Pompeii bears a scorching retort: “Postpone your tiresome quarrels if you can, or leave and take them home with you.” If they could write such burns, we can only guess how fiery their face‑to‑face exchanges were.
9 Teenage Graffiti
The stereotypical image of a graffiti artist is a teen with a spray can and a skateboard, but that image is part of a 35,000‑year tradition. When researchers examined prehistoric cave paintings, they found the expected shamanic scenes alongside a trove of crude doodles: exaggerated limbs, anatomically wrong naked women, and over‑the‑top hunting gore. By analyzing hand and finger proportions, they concluded that roughly 80 % of the less‑skilled art was produced by teenage boys, who were clearly preoccupied with hunting and sex.
8 We Value Our Most Mundane Thoughts
We all know that friend who posts every bite of lunch on social media and updates the world on their bedtime. It feels like a modern obsession, but ancient graffiti shows that the urge to broadcast the banal is nothing new. In a gladiator barracks a note reads, “On April 19th, I made bread.” Another door declares, “On April 20th, I have a cloak to be washed.” A house’s exterior even boasts, “Apollinaris, the doctor of Emperor Titus, defecated well here.” Likewise, Viking runes in Scotland’s Maeshowe simply announce who etched them, while Egyptian tombs feature similar claims of authorship. The desire to leave a record of even the smallest details has deep roots.
7 Jokes About Sex, Mothers, And Absent‑Minded Professors Were Always Funny
In 1976 archaeologists in Iraq uncovered fragments of a 3,500‑year‑old tablet that offered a rare glimpse into Mesopotamian humor. Most jokes were spoken, but this tablet preserved a few written jokes, suggesting the author might have been a student learning to write. Though the tablet itself was lost in later turmoil, copies survived, revealing riddles like a fragment that reads, “of your mother, is by the one who has intercourse with her.” The humor was decidedly bawdy.
A newly discovered Roman joke book confirms that certain themes endured: professors were seen as clever yet foolish, eunuchs were comedic gold, and hernias provoked laughter. An 11th‑century manuscript from Baghdad even served as a humorous guide to gate‑crashing, offering snappy comebacks such as, “Who are you?” – “I’m the one who saved you the trouble of sending an invitation!” The text also includes a satirical tale about a Caliph’s “Office for Gatecrashing,” illustrating that pranksters have always thrived.
6 We’re Still Not Sure About Our Tattoos
Tattoos aren’t a modern fad; the oldest known examples come from the Copper Age mummy Ötzi the Iceman, whose skin still bears simple inked designs that may have had a therapeutic purpose akin to acupuncture. Egyptian mummies also display tattoos. The Romans, who prized bodily purity, altered their stance after encountering heavily tattooed northern Europeans. Crusaders sometimes tattooed Christian symbols on themselves to guarantee a proper burial if they fell in battle.
Yet, like many of us, ancient peoples weren’t always confident in their body art choices. Roman physicians even offered tattoo‑removal services. Early removal techniques were… inventive: injecting wine, garlic, or bird guano beneath the skin, followed by abrasive methods such as dermabrasion—essentially sanding the skin away. European missionaries later used a form of dermabrasion called “holystoning,” grinding tattoos off with sandstone. Some simply cut the offending ink away.
5 We Always Loved Our Alcohol
Enjoying a drink after a long day isn’t a modern habit; fermentation predates bread‑making, with evidence of alcoholic beverages dating back to the Neolithic era around 10,000 BC. In many ancient Middle Eastern societies wine and beer served medicinal purposes. The Bible even records Noah planting grapes to make wine (Genesis 9:20). In ancient China, alcohol was thought to nourish the soul, much like food fed the body, and moderate consumption was considered heavenly.
The strongest proof of alcohol as a daily staple comes from ancient Egypt. Hieroglyphs show that by 4,000 BC Egyptians were brewing at home, producing at least 24 distinct wines and 17 beers. While alcohol played a pivotal role in religious rites, texts also warn of over‑indulgence, indicating robust secular use as well.
4 We Need Our Swearing
Swearing isn’t a modern invention; it’s simply the vocabulary that evolves. Victorian “leg” was once considered vulgar, yet Roman texts reveal curses drawn from body parts. In a society where public toilets lacked partitions and urine was used for laundry, many of today’s profanity‑triggering words were commonplace. The worst Roman insult? Calling a man a passive participant in sex. Equally damning was accusing someone of defiling another’s most sacred body part—the mouth.
Curiously, the same crude language could be sacred. Priapus, the fertility god, was honored with the very words that could be hurled as insults. Modern research from Monash University shows that hearing curses triggers physiological changes—elevated pulse and shallower breathing—explaining why swearing has persisted for millennia.
3 Gambling Was Always Popular
Even though Roman law banned gambling (except during Saturn’s festival), the evidence shows people couldn’t resist the thrill. Murals in taverns across Roman cities depict men rolling dice, and signage advertised not only food and drink but also the availability of games of chance. Where formal tables were absent, bored patrons carved their own gaming boards into stone, leaving their marks on the walls of the Colosseum, temple steps, and the Roman forum.
Etched instructions in taverns warned that if you didn’t know how to play, you must vacate your seat for someone who did. Some murals even capture brawls erupting over overturned dice tables. The financial ruin caused by gambling debts was so severe that it likely contributed to the eventual prohibition of the practice.
2 We’ve Always Loved Our Pets
While popular images of ancient Rome often involve animals as tools of execution, archaeologists have uncovered ample evidence that Romans cherished pets. Some animals served dual roles—both as working partners and beloved companions. Household pets included sheep, guard dogs, draft horses, cavalry mounts, and even snakes and weasels to keep vermin at bay.
Other creatures were kept solely for companionship. Inscriptions describe pets as foster children, and when a faithful dog died, owners were instructed to give it a proper burial. Exotic pets were imported from far‑flung lands: the small Melitaean dog from Africa, cats from Egypt, parrots, monkeys, and even big cats like lynxes and tigers. These non‑working companions enjoyed a special place in Roman homes.
1 We Want To Leave Our Mark
Humans have always craved remembrance. Eight centuries ago, Viking invaders sought shelter in the Scottish tomb of Maeshowe and left runic carvings documenting who they were, where they were heading, and why they were there—details etched into stone for posterity. Half a world away, travelers inscribed messages on an Egyptian desert waypoint, proclaiming, “Demetrios wrote this” and “Zenon came up here too.” In Rome’s catacombs, graffiti pleads with saints to remember the carver, while other inscriptions list names of the interred, requesting remembrance.
The most moving example comes from Pompeii: a bar wall bears the simple yet timeless inscription, “We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.” This humble graffiti captures the universal desire to be known across the ages.