While most of us picture the glamorous, purpose‑built mummies of ancient Egypt, the archetypal King Tut, we often overlook the accidental preservations that dot the globe. From the deserts of Egypt to the jungles of South America and the far‑east of China, the classic mummy image dominates, but the bog‑preserved bodies of Iron Age Europe tell a very different, equally fascinating story.
10 They Were Vain About Their Hair
Whether we admire the jaunty Suebian knot worn by the Osterby Man, the meticulously braided, one‑meter‑long (3.3 ft) mane of Elling Woman, or the pine‑resin‑gelled pompadour of Clonycavan Man, it’s clear that Iron Age folks weren’t shy about styling their locks.
We can’t say for sure whether these hair‑dos were everyday wear or reserved for special rites—perhaps even the very rituals that consigned them to the bogs. One thing’s certain: they weren’t the wild‑haired savages we sometimes picture.
9 They Rocked Plaids
Popular media loves to paint the ancient world in drab, earthy tones, assuming nobody bathed, brushed, or dressed in anything beyond gray, black, or brown.
That’s a myth when it comes to the Iron Age. Most bog bodies were found with little to no clothing—Tollund Man had only a belt, Elling Woman a cloak and belt, and Yde Girl just a cape.
Huldremose Woman breaks the mold. The bog preserved her patterned woolen skirt, scarf, and two leather capes, all dyed in vivid reds and blues. Microscopic traces show she also wore flax undergarments. Strontium isotope analysis indicates her garments originated beyond her local area, hinting at travel or imported fashion.
8 They Didn’t Eat A Low‑Carb Diet
The impeccably preserved visage of Tollund Man, discovered in May 1950, sparked a murder investigation. Thanks to his superb preservation, scientists examined his stomach contents and uncovered his final feast.
He’d been feasting on a porridge packed with over forty different grains and seeds. So the next time you brag about your wholesome seven‑grain cereal, remember Tollund Man was already out‑doing you around 300 BC.
7 They Weren’t Eating A Low‑Fat Diet, Either
The Iron Age inhabitants of what is now Ireland were serious butter enthusiasts. How serious? Picture a private stash of ten kilograms (22 lb) of butter, just in case.
In 2016, Jack Conway uncovered a ten‑kilogram lump of butter preserved in the Emlagh peat bog, County Meath. This wasn’t an isolated find—bogs regularly yield butter and rendered animal fats. Before modern, mass‑produced oils, such fats were valuable commodities, even used to pay taxes. This explains the 35‑kilogram chunk from County Kildare and the astonishing 45‑kilogram piece from County Offaly, dating back 5,000 years.
Ben Reade, the self‑styled mad scientist heading Culinary Research and Development at Nordic Food Lab, recreated bog butter for a 2012 taste test. The verdict? Mixed feelings.
6 Some Suffered From Malnutrition
Despite the grain‑filled porridge and massive butter hoards, not everyone was well‑fed. Moora, the girl from Uchter Moor, displayed clear signs of chronic malnutrition in her bone growth lines.
While Clonycavan Man flaunted imported hair gel and Huldremose Woman sported colorful garb, Moora was a 17‑ to 19‑year‑old who endured starvation, heavy labor, and at least two skull fractures during her short life.
5 Their Heights Varied As Greatly As Ours
Don’t let the modest statures of Tollund Man (160 cm, 5′3″) or Clonycavan Man (157 cm, 5′2″) fool you into thinking Iron Age men were dwarfs.
Partial remains of Old Croghan Man, discovered just 40 km (25 mi) from Clonycavan Man, suggest he would have stood around 198 cm (6′6″) tall—an impressive height even by today’s standards.
4 They Performed Brain Surgery (And Lived Through It)
The skull of Gadevang Man, who died circa 480 BC, bears a circular opening about 1.2 cm (0.5 in) wide, alongside an elongated scar likely caused by an axe strike.
These marks indicate he survived a serious head wound and underwent emergency cranial surgery—a remarkable feat thousands of years before microscopes, CT scans, or antibiotics existed.
3 They Would Have Probably Won Most Of The Events At Your Local Rodeo
Modern Westerners often view equestrian pursuits as a pricey hobby, relegated to bleacher‑filled stadiums under scorching sun. Yet the Iron Age rider Red Franz would have trounced any contemporary cowboy.
Constant horseback riding left him with distinctive “rider’s facets”—bony protrusions on his thigh—by the time of his death, indicating a lifetime of skilled horsemanship.
2 They Tripped On Shrooms
Humans have dabbled with psychoactive plants since the dawn of civilization—opium poppies were domesticated by the sixth millennium BC, and black henbane and cannabis likely followed suit.
In ancient Europe, potent fungi seemed to be the drug of choice. Ötzi, the Copper‑Age iceman, carried two mushroom strains, and some Bronze‑Age art may hint at fungal reverence.
By the time Grauballe Man met his fate, he had slurped a soup infused with hallucinogenic mushrooms before his throat was slit. Whether the fungi served medicinal, recreational, or ritual purposes remains debated, but he was certainly high as a kite when he died.
1 They Were Absolutely Brutal
Even though the rope still hanging from Tollund Man’s neck is startling, he likely got off relatively easy. Lindow Man suffered a blow to the head, strangulation, and a throat slit. Clonycavan Man endured an axe strike to the chest, three blows to the head, and was subsequently disemboweled.
But the Iron Age didn’t stop at overkill. Old Croghan Man bore arm‑piercing holes for trussing ropes, sliced nipples, stab wounds, and finally a torso‑splitting cut—clear evidence of extreme torture.