Well, you all knew it…Americans are truly weird. We have some of the most outrageous holidays for each day of the year! I chose the current month of March to start with and picked only one holiday per day as some days had 2 or 3! So here (for you all to poke fun at) is March’s Holidays in all their glory, in order of date.
March 1 – Peanut Butter Lover’s Day
Just when you thought it was safe to eat the peanut butter. What a sticky subject. Is your PP&J safe? Millions of American children are currently without their favorite sandwich due to the recent peanut scare in which peanuts have been found to contain salmonella. Of course that is not stopping some companies to start advertising based on that. Some are even saying that “their” peanut butter is safe to eat. You can see more on that here. Americans on average eat about 3 pounds of peanut butter per person per day.
Joke of the day: What do you get when you cross peanut butter with an elephant? – Peanut butter that never forgets or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
March 2 – Old Stuff Day
The most boring day of the year. True! When asked, “What’s up?” or “What’s new?” most of us respond with “Nothing much, same old, same old”. So in response to this, we made a holiday out of it. This is not a day to do the “same old” stuff… it is more a time to reflect on what has made life so boring that you can’t answer the question “What’s new?”.
March 3 – If Pets had Thumbs Day
Don’t you ever wonder what the world would be like if your dog or cat had thumbs? At least I wouldn’t have to get up at 5am in the morning to feed them! This is the day to let your imagination run wild.
March 4 – Holy Experiment Day
Nope, not a day for you to switch religions or vote if Creationism should be taught in schools… . (cough) It’s actually a day to try being more religious than you currently are. Pray for something different than you have before.
March 5 – Multiple Personalities Day
My favorite, and mine and mine and the rest of us too! This is a day to get in touch with our inner self (selves).
March 6 – Frozen Food Day
JFrater’s worst day… as it involves the microwave! This is a day to treasure those oh so yummy snacks that get shoved into our freezers to take out and have at a moments notice. ZAP! Instant food! (that is soggy and has the taste of the cardboard box it came in) but… oh so good!
March 7 – Crown Roast of Pork Day
Not much on this day other than it’s a day to celebrate pork… especially Crown Roast of Pork!
March 8 – Be Nasty Day
Boy was this true on the list universe! Nice day to go over signs of a tyranny. Just a day to be grumpy without being cruel.
March 9 – Panic Day
Now… everyone remain calm, except today. This is the only official day to panic.
March 10 – Festival of Life in the Cracks Day
Did your life slip through the cracks? Not today it didn’t! Celebrate a day of life in the cracks (no plumbers, please)
March 11 – Worship of Tools Day
Song choice: If I had a Hammer
Men can relate to this one! This is the perfect day to spend in the garage staring at those gadgets and gizmos that you just had to have… so when will the fence get fixed?
March 12 – Alfred Hitchcock Day
Ok… so not so wacky but how cool is it to have a day devoted to this famous filmmaker!
March 13 – Ear Muff Day
When the next time you put on a pair of these, you can thank the big-eared Chester Greenwood for creating them in 1877. Of course, he called them the Champion Ear Protectors. Thankfully the name was shorted to the ear muff.
March 14 – Potato Chip Day
So many overweight Americans can now proudly celebrate the best day of the year! Potato chips are the number one snack food in America. So to show your appreciation on this day of the deep fried chip, sit back on that couch, grab your remote and a tasty bowl of crispy spuds!
March 15 – Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
Story of my life. This is the day to blame it on the day! Nothing goes right today and now we celebrate it. Go figure.
March 16 – Everything You Do Is Right Day
(Did you see yesterday?) But today… no matter what you do it’s the right thing on this day. (of course that excludes illegal stuff) So, today is your day!
March 17 – Submarine Day
Song choice: Yellow Submarine
This is the day to celebrate the submarine (boat not sandwich). A suggestion is to watch “The Hunt for the Red October” on this day.
As a side note: For any of you who might have enjoyed the thread on 10 Great Atlantic Ocean Liners, you might know that I suffer from Megalophobia-fear of large objects. So I didn’t go out searching for any pictures of subs for this list.
March 18 – Supreme Sacrifice Day
Ok… so not a wacky one, but nice to have. This should be a better celebrated holiday. This day is to recognize those who have given up the most for others. This includes: fireman, policeman, soldiers and of course Jesus.
March 19 – Poultry Day
Most famous chicken: Foghorn Leghorn
A day to celebrate your favorite bird! (no, not your finger) Turkey, quail, duck and chicken. This is the day to eat your fill and try to answer the age old question: What came first? The chicken or the egg?
March 20 – Extraterrestrial Abductions Day
So I had to do a lot of probing on this one… Only in America would we have a day to celebrate something like this. So keep your eye on the sky and don’t forget to grab a towel!
March 21 – Fragrance Day
Armani, Dior, Boss, Claiborne, Liz … .put on your favorite this day. Just remember this one tip: Don’t marinate in it.
March 22 – Goof-off Day
Sweet! I actually have an excuse. (Don’t think it will fly with the boss however) So who will be the first one to call off on this day? This is the day for you to relax and to make sure you don’t do what you are supposed to do.
March 23 – Chip and Dip Day
So you had your potato chip day. Now what could be better? Something to dip it in… ranch, cheese, salsa… just to name a few. My favorite is bean dip!
March 24 – Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
A great combination of fruit and chocolate. If you are watching your weight, this isn’t the day for you. Celebrate this day by having a handful of this tasty treat!
March 25 – Waffle Day
“Lego my Eggo” No waffling on this holiday. It’s not only celebrated in America but also in Sweden. It originated in Sweden as Våffeldagen. The holiday coincides with the Feast of the Annunciation and it is considered to be the start of spring for both Sweden and France.
March 26 – Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
Try searching for an unrecognized trait, topic or event that hasn’t been touched upon to celebrate! Then enjoy! (I don’t think cable TV has been taken yet)
March 27 – National “Joe” Day
Nothing to do with coffee! This is the first holiday to celebrate you … as someone else. Today you are “Joe”. What would “Joe” do today? This is the day to be who you want for the day under the name of “Joe” and then you can blame it later on “Joe”.
March 28 – Something on a Stick Day
This day is celebrated by Jose Jalapeño on a Steeeck (pictured above). Actually it’s a holiday to celebrate anything on a stick. Popsicles, corndogs or jalapenos… this is the day for you!
March 29 – Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day
David Copperfield day…just kidding. This is the day of illusion and mystery. This is a great day for a masked ball or magic show. (no creepy clowns, please)
March 30 – I Am in Control Day
Oh really. Sounds like one of the 5 Signs That You Are Turning Into a Dictator. Actually, this started when Secretary of State Alexander Haig was quoted to have said “I am in control here” on the day that President Ronald Reagan was shot in an assassination attempt. This led to Haig eventual resignation. This also a great day to celebrate after Panic Day!
March 31 – Clams On the Half Shell Day
This is a day to celebrate those rubbery friends of ours… the clams! So tonight dine at your favorite seafood restaurant, or if you are lucky to get them yourself, enjoy them at home! But, make sure they are on the half-shell!
Contributor: oouchan