Getting what you want doesn’t require you to turn into Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka. You can be a diligent employee chasing a raise, a partner craving a quiet date night, or anyone else who simply wants to steer outcomes in their favor. Luckily, a handful of clever psychological tricks can give you the edge you need. Below are 10 psychological tricks you can start using today to subtly influence the people around you.
10 Psychological Tricks Overview
10 Use Body Language
Your posture, gestures, and the way you occupy space are silent messengers that shape how others see you. When you move with purpose—standing tall, keeping shoulders back, and avoiding unnecessary fidgeting—you broadcast confidence, which in turn nudges people to view you as trustworthy and competent.
Imagine walking into a high‑stakes meeting and deliberately leaning back in your chair while planting an elbow on the armrest. That subtle act makes you appear larger, more powerful, and therefore more persuasive. Speaking directly to each participant, keeping your hands steady, and avoiding nervous tics can dramatically boost the credibility of your ideas.
When people perceive you as a natural leader, they instinctively mirror your posture, facial expressions, and even speech patterns—a phenomenon known as the chameleon effect. By embodying the confident demeanor you want to see, you trigger this unconscious copying, making others more inclined to follow your lead.
9 Favors Are Your Friend
When you go out of your way to help someone, you plant a seed of reciprocity that often blossoms into a larger return. Even a modest gesture—like covering a colleague’s shift—can generate goodwill that later translates into a favor much bigger than the original act.
Sociologist Alvin Gouldner coined the reciprocity principle, which states that societies thrive on mutual assistance. By framing a helpful act as a partnership—saying something like, “That’s what partners do for each other”—you make the recipient feel a subtle debt, prompting them to repay you when the opportunity arises.
For instance, after you assist a coworker, slip in a line such as, “That’s what teammates do for each other.” The phrasing reinforces the idea of mutual support and increases the likelihood that your colleague will gladly return the favor when you need it.
8 Go Big!
Start negotiations with an audacious proposal that’s clearly beyond the realistic range. The sheer contrast makes your eventual, more reasonable offer appear generous, nudging the other party to accept it without feeling like they’ve lost ground.
Picture a parent telling a teen they must finish five chores before earning an Xbox. The teen protests, counter‑offering two chores. The parent then settles on three chores—still more than the teen wanted, yet the teen feels they’ve won a concession. The result? The chores get done, and the parent scores a win.
7 Maintain Eye Contact
Eye contact is more than a polite gesture; it’s a powerful tool for building trust, fostering connection, and signaling honesty. Locking eyes for a genuine, but not overly prolonged, moment can make the other person feel seen and respected.
- Display honesty
- Create a bond
- Improve understanding
- Build respect
- Increase empathy
- Foster attraction
Even if you struggle with social anxiety or neurodivergence, a brief, steady glance—followed by a natural look away—can deliver the same persuasive boost. Like any skill, it improves with practice, so make eye contact a habit in everyday conversations.
6 Scare People Into Action
People with a heightened sense of anxiety often respond to perceived scarcity or looming deadlines. By framing a request as something that could disappear soon, you tap into their fear of missing out, prompting swift action.
Sales teams routinely employ this tactic: they announce limited‑time offers, limited‑stock warnings, or countdown timers. The psychological pressure creates a sense of urgency, making the audience more likely to buy before the chance vanishes.
- Seasonal offers – “Outdoor Summer Sale.”
- Countdown timers – “Free shipping ends in X:XX:XX.”
- Low‑stock alerts – “Only 7 in stock.”
- Limited‑production notes – “75/1000 sold.”
- Real‑time activity cues – “X shoppers have this item in their cart.”
5 Like Mother Said, Use Your Words
Calling someone by name is a surprisingly potent persuasive cue. Humans are wired to respond to their own name, a habit formed from infancy. Dropping a person’s name into conversation instantly captures their attention and creates a sense of personal connection.
In workplaces where name tags are common, make a point of using those names. Even if you’ve never spoken to the person before, addressing them directly signals familiarity and respect, making them more receptive to your request.
4 Be Excited to Get Others Excited
Enthusiasm is contagious. When you talk about a task or opportunity with genuine excitement—highlighting its benefits, painting vivid pictures of success—you ignite a similar spark in your audience.
- Teachers who jazz up lessons about cellular powerhouses (yes, the mitochondria) can transform a drab biology class into an eager discussion.
- Parents who turn tooth‑brushing into a catchy song (“Brush, brush, brush your teeth…”) turn a mundane chore into a fun ritual.
3 Time (of Day) Is on Your Side
Choosing the optimal moment to make a request dramatically improves your odds of success. Think back to childhood: you intuitively knew when Mom was relaxed enough to grant a playdate or when a chore was most likely to be accepted.
Apply that intuition to adult scenarios. If a coworker tends to be calm after lunch, schedule your pitch for the early afternoon. A well‑timed request catches people when their mental bandwidth is high and their defenses are low.
Rather than forcing a conversation, align with natural opportunities—like a post‑meeting coffee break or a moment when the person’s stomach is full—to increase the likelihood of a positive response.
2 Slow It Down
The cadence of your speech can be more persuasive than the actual words you choose. Speaking deliberately—slow, measured, and confident—conveys authority and encourages listeners to absorb every nuance.
Think of cinematic kings who sit poised, speak only when necessary, and let each syllable resonate. Their measured delivery signals control and composure, making their directives feel inevitable.
Conversely, a rapid, breathless delivery can create urgency but also signals desperation, diminishing perceived status. Mastering a calm, unhurried tone helps you steer conversations without appearing frantic.
1 Don’t Assume They Know What You Want
Most of us spend our days giving—whether it’s time, money, or effort—expecting something in return. When you need something specific, clarity is essential. People can’t read minds, so you must spell out exactly what you desire.
Approach the individual directly, lay out any necessary background, and then state your request plainly. Avoid vague language; instead, be concise and explicit about the outcome you’re seeking.
Keep your ask brief and focused, and reinforce it with the persuasive tactics you’ve learned—maintain eye contact, choose the right timing, and modulate your speech pace. By combining clarity with these psychological tricks, you maximize the chance of getting what you want.