Continuing our journey into overpowered weapons from mythology, we now look to the Middle East and the three main Abrahamic religions: Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Despite appearances, they have plenty in common—at least mythologically. Adam, Abraham, Moses, and others (most notably God) all feature prominently in their scriptures. Basically, if they were comic books, they’d all share a universe. And, like comics, they all have some pretty crazy weapons. Here are the most overpowered.
10. The Sword of Goliath
David’s victory over the giant Goliath is the archetypal underdog tale. In it, the young shepherd confronts and kills, against all the odds, the arrogant Philistine champion. Whereas Goliath is huge (“six cubits and a span”), wears armor (“five thousand shekels of brass”), and carries weapons (a sword, a bronze javelin, and a spear topped with “six hundred shekels of iron”), David is dressed as an ordinary shepherd and only has a simple shepherd’s sling. But that’s all he needs. Before the fight has even begun, he launches a stone between Goliath’s eyes, killing him instantly. Then he takes possession of the slain giant’s sword and uses it to cut off his head.
In the Midrash, the commentary on the Torah, the Sword of Goliath has miraculous powers—though it’s not entirely clear what they are. Some think the sword changed its size to suit its wielder, while others think it had super strength. Whatever the case, David carried it into the third Giant War to kill the last of the giants. Later, it was wrapped and stored in the Temple alongside other holy items.
It’s unknown today if the sword still exists. But (in an interesting crossover with our last list on overpowered mythological weapons), the old Celtic gods, the Tuatha Dé Danann, are said to have brought Goliath’s sword to Ireland. But, like Myrddin’s demotion to a wizard (and Lugh’s to a leprechaun), this is likely another Christian retcon.
9. The Jawbone of an Ass
With his God-given super-strength, Samson, the last of the Judges, was basically the Hebrew Hercules. His best-known feat is certainly on a par with the Greek hero’s famous Twelve Labors. In the Book of Judges, he is said to have confronted one thousand Philistines entirely alone and, to begin with, tied up in strong new ropes. And he defeated every last man armed only with the jawbone of a donkey.
Although usually interpreted as an allegory for the power of faith or righteousness, or of God working through otherwise inadequate means (basically the old adage about a good workman never blaming his tools), the jawbone itself must have been strong to have held up through one thousand men. We’re also told it was “decayed” to begin with. So it must have been enchanted not to crumble after the first man it struck. Nowhere else in Jewish mythology does one man kill so many on his own.
8. Zulfiqar
The most overpowered weapon associated with Islam, though not specifically mentioned in the Koran, is the curved sword Zulfiqar, or Du’l Faqar. It was actually a gift from Muhammad to his cousin Ali during the Battle of Uhud against the Meccans. In the Shi’ite tradition, Zulfiqar was believed to have been brought down to earth by the archangel Gabriel. Split at the top (like a snake’s tongue) and curved like a scimitar, it was infused with magical powers.
Despite not being mentioned directly in scripture, its prominence in Shi’ism and the popular imagination explains its appearance in Islamic iconography, from flags and banners to medals, coins, and amulets.
Unfortunately, we don’t know what its magic powers were, except that it was used to cleave through many soldiers on the battlefield.
7. The Glittering Sword of Kenaz
Kenaz has only a minor role in the Torah, as the younger brother of Caleb, one of Moses’ spies. It’s in Pseudo-Philo’s first-century book Biblical Antiquities that he becomes more important—portrayed as the first judge of Israel after Joshua.
He also carried a magical sword. And such was its power that during a twilight confrontation with the Amorites, “all who saw it trembled like a leaf.” Kenaz had got exactly what he prayed for—a sword that “shall glitter and send forth sparks” and caused the Amorites to cower and fall to the ground. In the end, against overwhelming odds, he killed 45,000 men. This was an impressive feat by any standard, even taking into account the help he received from two angels—one of whom blinded the Amorites and the other of whom strengthened Kenaz.
Like some other mythological swords, however, it seemed to have a thirst of its own. After the battle, it refused to let Kenaz put it down until he had shed more blood—whether the enemy’s or that of his own men.
6. The Sword of Methuselah
Methuselah, the oldest man in the Bible, lived to be 969 years old. According to Jewish tradition, this was in the early days of humanity somewhere between Adam and Noah. It was a time of demons running rampant, all fathered by Adam and Lilith during Adam’s 130-year estrangement from Eve following the murder of their son Abel by their other son Cain. Adam’s new children with Lilith were even worse; these were the shedim (demons) and lilin (succubi) who plagued the world for several generations. Eventually, God had enough.
To deal with the problem, he gave Methuselah, son of Enoch, a magical sword. Engraved with one of God’s sacred names, it was forged to slay malevolent beings. And slay them it did; Methuselah used it to strike down 900,000 at once. Then Adam and Lilth’s firstborn, the demon king Agrimas, made a deal with Methuselah: he would spare the surviving demons, allowing them to retreat to remote mountains and the depths of the sea, and, in return, they would teach humans to restrain them.
There are two different tales about what ultimately happened to the sword. One says Methuselah was buried with it while another says it passed to Noah, then Shem, then Abraham, and then to Abraham’s three sons Isaac, Esau, and Jacob. Given this was technically the Bronze Age, historians imagine Methuselah’s sword was probably more of a long bronze dagger or a sickle-like khopesh than the longsword you may be imagining.
5. The Ark of the Covenant
In the Hebrew Bible or Tanakh, the story of Uzzah has a crystal clear message: “Look but don’t touch.” The young man and his brother were driving a cart carrying the Ark for David when one of their oxen stumbled, threatening to topple the cargo. Instinctively, Uzzah reached out to steady it and was immediately killed for defying God’s law not to touch the Ark at any cost.
Though not out of character for the Abrahamic god, this punishment is bizarrely severe—and seemingly pointless as a spiritual lesson. Hence some believe the tale may be a magical explanation for something more down-to-earth. In 1933, engineering professor Frederick Rogers drew parallels between the biblical descriptions of the Ark of the Covenant and simple electrical condensers or capacitors known as Leyden jars. He argued that the Ark—which, although wooden, was lined and overlaid with gold—was basically an oversized Leyden jar. It accumulated static electricity from the earth and the air, as well as heat from sacrifices, possibly reaching deadly levels. According to Rogers, Uzzah wasn’t smited by God; he was electrocuted.
Other theorists, like Graham Hancock, have suggested the Ark was powered by radioactive material (e.g. from a meteorite) or the sorcery of Moses. Whatever the case, it served as a weapon—and one that would kill at a touch.
4. The Holy Lance
The Holy Lance, or Spear of Destiny, is mentioned in the Gospel of John—but not so much as a weapon. In fact, it’s only used to pierce Jesus’s corpse on the cross to check that it’s dead before taking it down. As John 19:34 puts it, “one of the soldiers with a spear pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water.” It’s only in the time since that it’s become such an overpowered weapon.
Said to confer invincibility and world-enslaving political power, the Holy Lance has long been desired by those of a conquering bent. But it carries a sting in the tail. The legend begins with Charlemagne, the first Holy Roman Emperor, who wielded it on 47 victorious military campaigns. Legend has it that he died after letting go of the spear. Another wielder was Henry the Fowler, a Saxon king from whom it passed through a line of successors to the German king Frederick Barbarossa—who in the 12th century became the Holy Roman Emperor. Interestingly, similar to Charlemagne and despite his reputation for being unstoppable, he died after dropping the lance—apparently by drowning in a creek. Fast forward to 1796 and we find Napoleon storming the city of Nuremberg in pursuit of the Holy Lance, only to learn that the locals had it smuggled to Vienna. There it stayed for more than a century until the young Adolf Hitler set eyes on it. Immediately entranced, he came to see it as the key to his destiny: restoring the Holy Roman Empire as the Third Reich. Shortly after the Nazis annexed Austria in 1938, Hitler had the relic under SS guard on a train bound for Nuremberg. Seven years later, at the end of the war, the lance was stolen again—possibly by Americans—and Hitler was dead within hours.
Exciting though this history is, it may have even more holes than this spear put in people. That said, the Holy Lance is unique on this list for still existing today, at least to the extent of other holy relics. In fact, there are (at least) four lances in existence all claimed to be original. Unfortunately (or fortunately; however you want to look at it), scientific analysis on the one owned by Hitler dates it to the 7th century, i.e. long after Jesus’s death. The others in Armenia, Krakow, and the Vatican are also contested.
3. The Sword of Heaven
There are many strange images in the Book of Revelation: seven-headed monsters, angelic beasts covered in eyes, a whore with a cup full of filthiness… The last book of the Christian Bible is a twisted, apocalyptic vision of the future, courtesy of someone called John. Even Jesus’s arrival (his Second Coming, where he’s come to rule with a rod of iron) is frightening, portraying him with flaming eyes, a robe soaked in blood (not his own blood this time), and a tattoo on his thigh reading “KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.” From his mouth emerges a sharp two-edged sword. This is the Sword of Heaven.
He then proceeds to use it against the forces of darkness before casting them into the lake of fire. Crucially, though, he does it without actually striking them with the sword. Instead, the power of the sword is remote. It’s usually taken as a symbol of the power of his words, capable of subduing whole nations from a distance.
2. The Flaming Sword
The Flaming Sword—with its “blade” of holy fire—is usually associated with Michael, the archangel. In the Old Testament Book of Genesis, however, following Adam and Eve’s ejection from Eden, the Flaming Sword blocks the east entrance and the way to the Tree of Life. Here it operates alongside God’s personal attendants, the cherubim, apparently without a wielder. Flaming and turning in every direction, it prevents humanity’s return to innocence.
It was only natural that the Flaming Sword would later be wielded by Michael. Of all the archangels, he is the most aggressive defender against the forces of evil. And the sword’s fiery, spiritual composition matches the nature of his foes (calling to mind the spiritual counterparts to humans in Islam, the fire beings or jinn created at the same time as Adam). According to some, the Flaming Sword can even cut through the fabric of spacetime.
The most iconic depiction of Michael wielding this sword is the statue at Mont Saint-Michel, in France, where he’s standing over a dragon. His no-nonsense wrath may also be why he’s the Mafia’s patron saint.
1. The Staff of God
Moses’ staff was more than just a stick. Throughout Exodus, it serves as “the staff of God,” an instrument of miracles, and a symbol of Moses’ status. According to the Jewish oral tradition (as collected in the Mishnah), the staff is as old as the world itself; it was one of ten “wondrous” items created by God the evening before his day off. Some believe it was made out of sapphire, while others say it was made out of wood—specifically from the Tree of Knowledge.
In any case, it was first entrusted to Adam. Then, after the Fall he passed it to Enoch, who gave it to Noah, who gave it to Shem, who gave it to Abraham, who gave it to Isaac, who gave it to Jacob, who gave it (now in Egypt) to his own son Joseph. From Joseph it was stolen by the Pharaoh; and from the Pharaoh, it was stolen by the royal advisor Jethro, who planted it in the garden of his house. Henceforth no one could pull it from the ground… except Moses, who used the staff to part the Red Sea while leading the Jews out of Egypt. He also drew water from a rock.
Technically, the staff isn’t seen as a weapon. In fact, Ridley Scott faced a backlash for portraying Moses as violent at all in the movie Exodus. However, he used it to bring about plagues—specifically the seventh and eighth: hail and locusts. It also appears to have been used by Aaron to bring about the earlier plagues of blood, frogs, and vermin. If so, Aaron also transformed it into a snake to devour those conjured by the Pharaoh’s court magicians. Furthermore, it’s prophesied in the Midrash to play a role in the apocalypse.