The 10 most unflattering nicknames given to royals often survive the ages, becoming a quirky footnote in the historical record. While a flattering epithet can turn a modest ruler into a legend, a cringe‑worthy sobriquet can forever color a monarch’s legacy with a dash of embarrassment.
10 Most Unflattering Nicknames
10 Halfdan the Bad Entertainer
Halfdan, officially known as Halfdan Eysteinsson of Uppsala, inherited the Norwegian throne from his father, King Eystein. Though contemporary chronicles praise him as a fierce warrior and a capable loot‑gatherer, his lasting reputation is oddly tied to hospitality rather than heroics. The nickname “Bad Entertainer” stems from tales that, while generous with land and treasure, he was notoriously stingy with food and drink whenever his warriors visited his hall. The moral? Never skimp on the ale and biscuits, lest your name be remembered for a poor party.
One might expect a moniker like “Halfdan the Mighty Pillager,” yet the historical record chose a less glorious label, suggesting that even the toughest king could be undone by a failure to keep his guests well‑fed. This quirky epithet reminds us that royal reputation often hinges on the smallest gestures.
9 Bernard the Hairy Footed
Bernard Plantapilosa, a French noble who ruled Auvergne from 1872 until his death in 1886, also held the title of Count of Autun for a brief five‑year stint before being ousted. The nickname “Hairy Footed” is a literal translation of his surname—plantapilosa—derived from Latin where “planta” means sole of the foot and “pilosa” denotes hair. Some historians even speculate that the moniker hints at a werewolf lineage, though the most plausible explanation is simply that his feet were unusually furred.
Whether the nickname arose from literal foot hair or a whimsical rumor, it illustrates how personal quirks—real or imagined—could become the defining tag for a noble’s legacy.
8 Ivalyo the Cabbage
King Ivalyo of Bulgaria, who seized the throne in 1278 after a daring peasant uprising, earned the nickname “the Cabbage.” Despite a meteoric rise—from humble farmer to monarch—his reign was marked by relentless warfare against both the Tatars and the Byzantines. After marrying the widowed Queen Mary, Ivalyo led his peasant army to numerous victories, yet his moniker references his low‑born origins, likening him to a common vegetable rather than a regal figure.
The epithet underscores how even battlefield brilliance could be eclipsed by a ruler’s socioeconomic background, turning a celebrated leader into a humble, cabbage‑loving figure in the annals of history.
7 Alfonso the Slobberer
Alfonso IX of León, son of Ferdinand II, ruled from 1188 to 1230 and is remembered for modernizing his realm—founding the first parliamentary body in Western Europe, the Cortes de León, and establishing the University of Salamanca in 1212. Militarily, he secured victories against Extremadura and even attempted to rescue the defeated Alfonso VIII of Castile. Yet, despite these achievements, chroniclers labeled him “the Slobberer” because he was prone to violent outbursts that caused his mouth to foam, a vivid image that stuck in popular memory.
His scholarly and military contributions were substantial, but the vivid, unflattering nickname illustrates how a single personal habit can dominate a ruler’s historical portrait.
6 Justinian the Slit‑Nosed
Justinian II, who ruled the Byzantine Empire in two turbulent periods (685‑695 and 705‑711), earned the moniker “Slit‑Nosed” after a rival general, Leontius, ordered his nose to be cut to disqualify him from the throne—an ancient rule that a ruler could not bear a physical deformity. After being overthrown, Justinian returned to power and, in a grim twist, had his rival’s nose removed as retribution. His reign was marked by heavy taxation and brutal persecution of Slavic populations, as well as religious intolerance toward the Paulicians.
The nickname, while graphic, is arguably a mercy compared to his cruel policies, and it survived as a stark reminder of the lengths to which power struggles could scar a ruler’s legacy.
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5 Fruela the Leprous
Fruela II, the third king of León, reigned for a brief twelve‑month stretch from 924 to 925 before succumbing to natural causes. Though his epithet “the Leprous” suggests a death by disease, records indicate he likely died of unrelated natural ailments, with his leprosy merely a notable, albeit secondary, condition. His short rule left little time for significant reforms; instead, his reign is chiefly remembered for a conflict with discontented nobles who opposed his authority.
The label “Leprous” persisted because it was the most striking detail of his short tenure, highlighting how a single affliction can eclipse any political achievements a monarch might have made.
4 Archibald the Loser
Archibald Douglas, the 4th Earl of Douglas, inherited the grim sobriquet “the Tyneman,” an archaic Scottish term translating to “Loser.” Son of Archibald the Grim, he fought in major battles such as Homildon Hill, Shrewsbury, and Verneuil, but each time found himself on the losing side. His battlefield misfortunes were literal as well—he lost an eye at Homildon and a testicle at Shrewsbury—fueling the perception that he was perpetually “losing” parts of himself.
His ultimate defeat at the Battle of Verneuil in 1424, where he perished, cemented the nickname. Archibald’s story illustrates how a series of unfortunate outcomes can forge an enduring, unflattering epithet.
3 Eystein the Fart
Eystein, king of Romerike in Norway from 736 to 810, inherited a nickname that translates from Old Norse as “The Swift,” but folk lore twisted it into “the Fart” to emphasize his rapid, wind‑like assaults. A classic Viking, he spent his life pillaging and conquering, with enemies allegedly too preoccupied with holding their noses to mount a defense. Legend says his death came when the sorcerer‑king of Varna, Skjold, used magic to push him overboard, sealing his fate with a splash of mythic irony.
The nickname, whether rooted in literal flatulence or a metaphor for speed, showcases how even fearsome leaders could be remembered for a humorous, albeit unflattering, moniker.
2 Joan the Lame
Joan, consort of French King Philip VI, acted as regent during his military campaigns in the Hundred Years’ War. A learned patron of education, she championed scholarly pursuits, yet her physical disability earned her the French nickname “la male royne boiteuse” – “the lame male queen.” This epithet served as a double‑edged insult, mocking both her mobility impairment and her perceived dominance over her husband’s rule.
She succumbed to the plague in September 1348, but her story endures as a stark reminder of medieval sexism and ableism, where a ruler’s accomplishments could be eclipsed by body‑shaming.
1 Constantine the Dung‑Named
Constantine V, Byzantine emperor from 741 to 775, earned the grotesque nickname “the Dung‑Named” after rumors spread that, as an infant, he defecated in the baptismal font. The epithet, derived from the Greek “Kopronymos,” meaning “named in dung,” reflected the deep resentment of contemporaries who viewed his reign of religious persecution and iconoclasm as morally filthy. He ordered the destruction of monasteries, burned relics, and imposed brutal punishments on dissenters, further cementing his reputation as a tyrant.
Whether the story of the infantile mishap is factual or merely propaganda, the nickname endures as an apt metaphor for a ruler whose policies were, in the eyes of many, downright “crappy.”
About The Author: I am a freelance writer from Dundee, who also makes short films under the name Wardlaw Films.