With UFOs now part of the mainstream news cycle, it’s time to get acquainted with the pilots — according to the ten silliest encounters we could find.
10. Reptoids
Reptoids, or Reptilians, are a race of bipedal humanoid reptiles. Depending on who you ask, they’re from a world orbiting Alpha Draconis in the Draco system or from right here on Earth, having evolved from dinosaurs and survived underground. Either way, they’re considered malevolent.
In fact, most encounters involve abduction and rape. One woman in Mexico, for example, a virgin, discovered she was pregnant after a “missing time” episode. According to her report, she noticed a UFO while driving past Teotihuacan at 11 a.m. then suddenly, with no memory of how, found herself 185 miles away at 2 p.m. that afternoon. In the weeks that followed, she suffered weakness and nausea and upon examination was told she was pregnant. After seven months, she gave birth to a monstrous Reptilian hybrid with “double-membraned eyes, thick frog-like lips, joined fingers” and a shell like that of a tortoise. Although afraid of the creature, doctors tended to its needs, which included “a diet of herbs” and incubation under infrared light. After three weeks it was raised by its mother “in seclusion”. According to UFO theorists, Reptoid hybrids (or “crossbreeds”) such as this are part of a long-term plan to infiltrate human civilization in the lead-up to a full-scale invasion.
Not all Reptoid encounters are unwanted, though. LA jazz singer Pamela Stonebrooke spoke openly about her “great respect” for the reptilians she had sex with. Like others, though less grudgingly, she said the orgasms were “incredible”. She disagreed that Reptoids were repulsive.
9. Venusians
Like Earthlings, Venusians (or “Space Brothers,” as ufologist George Adamski called them) come in various colors. Their activities on Earth, out of their underground bases, include monitoring our species and working with our rulers.
Adamski claimed to have met his first Venusian, named Orthon, in 1952. They met in the Colorado Desert, Adamski said, recalling the sigil-like imprint left by Orthon’s shoe in the sand.
Another notable contactee is Miyuki Hatoyama, wife of former Japanese prime minister Yukio Hatoyama. In her book Very Strange Things I’ve Encountered, she claims to have been abducted and flown to Venus — “a very beautiful place,” she said, “very green”. Her husband, who was nicknamed “the Alien” by colleagues for his “otherworldly manner”, is apparently supportive of her claims.
8. Insectoids
Mantis-like beings up to 7 feet tall are common in abduction reports, usually accompanied by Greys. Often they’re dressed in robes with high collars, indicating their seniority. But their interactions with abductees tend to be fairly hands-off, usually limited to telepathic probing and stimulation of various emotions.
One notable exception is the painter David Huggins, who lost his virginity to an alien hybrid called Crescent. During the course of his encounters, he’s met Greys, “Hairy Guy” (like a short Sasquatch), and others besides Insectoids.
After a viewing of hybrid babies he’d fathered with Crescent, Huggins was guided by one of the Insectoids to a doorway pulsating with light. “It was like it was pushing it’s way out of the doorway,” he said, “[the light] had form.” Huggins followed the Insectoid’s instruction to step inside, at which point he felt the light passing through him. When he woke the next morning, he had an “incredible energy” that lasted weeks.
7. Andromedans
According to some, the blue-skinned Andromedans share our genetics and have been guiding humanity for millennia; they even appeared in Egyptian hieroglyphics.
In modern times, they chose a former US Army helicopter pilot to be their spokesman on Earth — or at least that’s what Alex Collier claims. Since the 1990s, he’s been relaying their messages to fellow Earthlings. He’s informed us, for example, that humanity comprises 22 extraterrestrial species, and that the “Andromedan Council” is, effectively, our galaxy’s United Nations. To be fair, it sounds just as fractious. Some on the council want to save our species, while others think we’re too cruel and arrogant — especially since, according to Collier, helping would violate their time-honored commitment to non-intervention (Star Trek style).
But what makes this such a dilemma for the Council is all the ET interference to date. If they’d left us alone, Collier said, we wouldn’t be where we are now; all the ETs that have visited (and often stayed) through the ages have stunted our spiritual evolution with stupid ideologies, ultimately culminating in the nuclear bomb. Further complicating matters is the alleged treaty signed by President Eisenhower granting the Greys free reign over Earth in exchange for alien technology. According to Collier, the Greys are unlikely to let Andromedans come here (much like when nations shut out the UN). Even human governments wouldn’t trust them enough to dismantle their nuclear arsenals.
6. Humans
Most ET species are humanoid in form, but some are more human than others. Lemurian hybrids, for instance, with their dark hair and olive skin, apparently look a lot like Middle Easterns. And Vegans, from a world orbiting Vega, look just like Indians according to a Brazilian contactee.
So it could have been either of these species that chicken farmer (or plumber) Joe Simonton encountered in 1961. At 11 a.m. on April 18, he heard a sound he likened to “knobby tires on wet pavement”, alerting him to a flying saucer hovering outside his house, just above the ground. It didn’t land, but when he approached the craft a “gate” opened on the side revealing three Italian-looking aliens in turtlenecks and helmets. They apparently looked so human that Simonton could estimate their age — 25-30 years old.
One of the three gave him a metallic, possibly aluminum, container and, gesturing, asked him to fill it with water. When he did as they asked, another of the three — who’d been cooking on a hob in red-striped pants, and who Simonton referred to as the “chef” — gave him four 7.5-centimeter pancakes with holes in. Later analyzed by the Air Force, NICAP, and the FDA, these pancakes were found to be made from flour, sugar, grease, and (according to rumor) possibly an unknown wheat. The Air Force labeled the encounter “unexplained” and Simonton went on tour with his story.
5. Nordics
The most famous human-looking ETs are the fair-skinned, blond-haired, blue-eyed Nordics — so-called for their resemblance to Swedes. They’re also known as Plejarens or Pleiadians — although some who claim to be in contact with the species insist Plejarens and Pleiadians are distinct, since Plejarens are not from the Pleiades.
Either way, Nordics, Pleiadians, and Plejarens are all described as benevolent. Allegedly, they once tried to convince President Eisenhower to get rid of America’s nukes in exchange for alien technology. Unfortunately, however, Eisenhower (being a US president) signed a treaty with the Greys instead — allowing them to abduct whoever they liked in exchange for alien technology without having to give up his nukes.
Eisenhower isn’t the only politician to have encountered the Nordics up close. Another is the former vice mayor and congressional candidate for Florida Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera, who made headlines during her 2017 campaign for claiming she’d been on a spaceship. She’d been welcomed aboard in her youth, she said, by blond, telepathic, robed ETs resembling, as she put it, the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio. There they told her that the “center of the world’s energy is Africa,” that Florida’s Coral Castle is an ancient pyramid, that every religion is in touch with the same energy mistakenly personified as “God”, and that 30,000 non-human skulls were discovered in a cave on Malta.
4. Orions
Like Nordics, Vegans, and others, the Orions resemble human beings. In fact, with their darker features, they’re more like humanity than the others.
Sometimes they’re described as a malevolent race. Contactee George Hunt Williamson, for example (relaying a 1952 message from Uranus), listed “evil humans and menacing aliens from the Orion Solar Systems” among the threats to Earth from outer space. There are six “Orion Solar Systems” in total, he said — “the Unholy Six” — each populated by “negative space intelligences” that seek to plunder Earth’s resources to replenish their own dying worlds. And apparently they’re already here.
A more recent report from 2019, however, presents Orions as peaceful and caring — so maybe they changed their mind. Printed in Colombia’s El Tiempo newspaper, the report came from the small rural village Guasimal, where locals claim to have been visited by tall dark humanoids since December 2012. These encounters have mostly been frightening, they say; the beings only appear at night, always dressed in black — and their voices are strange and robotic. But in 2018 the visitors delivered their message: “people need to love each other, otherwise the human race will soon be destroyed.” The beings also claimed to have been living there in an underground base for 60 years since arriving on Earth from Orion. A police officer called by one of the locals corroborated some of the account; he saw the silhouettes of the tall dark beings, as did ufologist Cristian Ramos.
3. Alpha Centaurians
The aquatic, luminous blue-skinned Alpha Centaurians, from our Sun’s closest neighbor, are said to live deep in our oceans — launching UFOs from their submarine bases and, depending on who you talk to, either mutilating cattle or enlightening humans.
According to a woman who in 2022 had afternoon tea with one, they’re also powerfully telepathic. They are, she claimed, able to stop us asking questions by giving us “brain fog”. This helps steer conversations to the most important matters, like (in this case) what internet provider we’re with. Apparently, Alpha Centaurians insistently recommend Starlink and speak highly of its founder Elon Musk — who, they say, spends a lot of time doing business off world. “Elon Musk is meant to accomplish great things for humanity,” said the alien, whose species allegedly belongs to the “Galactic Federation of Worlds.”
2. Greys
Although humanoid, Greys — with their pale grey skin, large black eyes, and hairless heads larger than their bodies — are basically the opposite of humans. Ufological lore explains this as an adaptation to life underground following the destruction of their planet’s surface by nukes. Originally Greys looked more or less like we do, only with larger eyes. Their interest in human experimentation, it’s said, is in recovering their capacity for emotion.
As the most commonly reported alien species, there are plenty of strange encounters. But few come close to that of explosive engineer Philip Schneider. In the 1970s, while helping to construct an underground military base in Dulce, New Mexico, he came face to face with the 7-foot extraterrestrials. For some reason, he had a pistol and opened fire, killing two, while a third shot back with a plasma ball — blowing off some of his fingers. Although Schneider was saved by a Green Beret soldier, 60 human beings lost their lives — including that same Green Beret. And, said Schneider, the war is still raging today.
Dulce is just one of almost 1,500 such bases worldwide, each financed by secret “black budgets” and many now arenas of war. Another famous example from the US’s alleged portfolio of 129 subterranean alien bases is the one at Groom Lake, Nevada: Area 51. According to former employee Bob Lazar, there was a shootout with Greys down there too — sparked off when a human security guard told a Grey not to enter a Grey-controlled area with a loaded weapon in hand. Another firefight at Dulce started a similar way, when humans refused to take the bullets from their guns when ordered to do so by Greys.
1. Martians
Although historically a catch-all term, “Martian” now means something specific: two-feet-tall humanoids from Mars. According to ufological lore, they were our neighboring planet’s dominant species three billion years ago, perhaps because of their bulbous brains. They’re also known as “Dwarfs” or “Gnomes” and communicate via music or telepathy.
Perhaps the weirdest report comes from an English housewife. One morning in early January 1979, after her husband left for work, she noticed a light outside. To her surprise, it was coming from a giant orange sphere above the garage. As she and her dog watched from inside (until the dog toppled sideways unconscious), three winged dwarves flew past her to the living room.
She felt cold and weak herself, but followed them through and saw two of them shaking the Christmas tree, toppling the fairy to the floor. Each wore a helmet with a light on top. None of them had fingers or toes. Their limbs just tapered to points, but somehow they were able to pick up objects in the room. When the housewife finally succumbed to paralysis, the Martians spoke in unison in gruff, masculine voices: “Nice?” Then she was able to move. They didn’t answer her questions at first, they just repeated them back to her and flapped around the room, jumping on the couch. If they didn’t like what she said, they shot a beam from their helmets at her forehead, causing temporary blindness and paralysis. However, they softened when she told them it hurt. They also began answering questions, like where they were from (“the sky”). They even asked questions of their own, for example about the picture of Jesus she had on the wall, about the Queen, housewives, and children. They also asked for water, which she duly supplied on a tray with several mince pies. When they each had a glass she lifted hers and they lifted theirs, but when they saw she was watching them they blinded her again. Once her sight had returned she thought of offering them cigarettes, since they’d taken an interest in the box; but when she lit one they shrank back in fear.
Eventually, a loud noise outside signaled the return of the orange sphere and the Martians “put their hands to their sides … lifted themselves up,” pressing buttons on their chests, and “glided themselves out” — each with a mince pie in hand (or on the points at the end of their arms). The housewife collapsed in pain on the couch and lay unconscious for the rest of the day. When she woke up, neither her clock, radio, or TV were working — nor the cassette tapes the Martians had touched.