When the Star Wars saga hit the shelves in the late 1970s, it sent the toy world into overdrive. Action figures exploded in popularity, turning movie heroes and cartoon critters into miniature cash‑cows. Yet not every plastic protagonist earned a spot on a kid’s shelf. Below, we count down the 10 awful action figures nobody ever begged for, each a baffling misstep in toy history.
10 Awful Action Figures: The Unwanted Toys
10 Teenage Mutant Turtles—Toon Burne
The TMNT craze generated a massive wave of figures, each following a simple formula: grab a familiar anthropomorphic hero and slap a gimmick on it. Demand ballooned so high that manufacturers even invented characters never seen on screen—think a Shakespeare‑loving lion or a firefighting dalmatian.
Yet nothing felt as flat as Toon Burne. Part of a kid‑focused spin‑off line, Burne was the beleaguered news director for Channel 6, the outlet that constantly covered Turtle escapades. He’s a pudgy, middle‑aged man who looks like he’s just rolled out of a newsroom nap. The baffling part? The makers thought his grizzled vibe would attract youngsters. To sweeten the deal, they bundled him with a sandwich and a typewriter—because nothing screams “playtime” like a deli lunch and office supplies.
9 WWF Space Domination—Marc Mero
The wrestling world has contributed its share of oddball collectibles, from Hitman Hart in a 1930s gangster get‑up to the cringe‑worthy Maximum Sweat line (yes, figures that literally perspire). Still, nothing feels as dull as Marc Mero launched into outer space.
In the Space Domination Stomp 3 series, a handful of wrestlers received futuristic armor—think Legion of Doom in a post‑apocalypse suit or a cyber‑Undertaker. So why hand a mid‑carder like Mero a spot? His ensemble was cobbled together from salvaged washing‑machine parts, making him one of the few Mero figures ever produced. His wife Sable also appeared, sporting a skimpy bikini that offered little more than a beach‑body flash. Unsurprisingly, kids weren’t eager to beam their wrestling idols into the cosmos, and the line fizzled fast.
8 G.I. Joe—The Fridge
G.I. Joe’s roster once boasted a dizzying array of specialties, each card detailing the soldier’s side, allegiance, and skill set. Early on the roles felt grounded—infantry, pilots, medics—but as the line progressed, the jobs grew increasingly outlandish. At one point, the franchise decided to recruit a real‑life sports hero to serve as a physical‑training instructor.
Enter William “The Fridge” Perry, a hulking defensive tackle for the Chicago Bears who still holds the record for the largest Super Bowl ring. He became only the second actual person—after Sgt Slaughter—to earn a G.I. Joe figure. Distributed as a 1986 mail‑away (though it arrived in 1987), the figure came equipped with a chain‑dangling football. One can only wonder how he’d fare against Cobra’s forces wielding a pigskin instead of a rifle.
7 Beach Spiderman
After saving the universe from Thanos and taking down Kingpin’s empire, even the Amazing Spider‑Man needs a vacation. Fans might picture him chilling on a rooftop with a slice of pizza, but the toy line decided his idea of downtime involved sand, surf, and a lifeguard’s kit.
Instead of swapping the iconic red‑and‑blue suit for a casual tee, this version keeps his mask on, dons a vest, and slides into bright board‑shorts. The package includes a float, a beachball, and other lifeguard paraphernalia, primed for an impromptu volleyball match with fellow heroes. This figure belongs to the Adventure Hero series, which also offered a colonial‑era safari outfit and an inline‑skating Spider‑Man—proof that the web‑slinger’s wardrobe knows no bounds.
6 Masters of the Universe—Astro Lion
While Transformers mastered the art of turning robots into everyday objects, the Masters of the Universe line tried to ride the same wave when its popularity dipped. The franchise introduced the Meteorbs, a faction based on Japanese transforming egg toys called Tamagoras, which felt wildly out of place among He‑Man’s muscular cast.
Astro Lion arrived late in the series, attempting to rejuvenate interest with a skinny lion that transformed into an egg. Fans, already attached to the ferocious Battle Cat, found the concept baffling. The line also featured other oddball transformers—Stonedar and Rokkon turned into rocks, and Tonka’s “Rocklords” later echoed the same gimmick. Astro Lion remains a prime example of a mis‑aligned transformation.
5 Star Wars—Power Droid
Star Wars famously mined every background character for toy potential, giving fans a bounty of figures that could at least interact with the main cast. Yet few were as pointless as the Power Droid, a walking battery that barely resembled its on‑screen counterpart.
The toy boasted minimal articulation and essentially looked like a box perched on legs. Known to fans as a “gonk” droid because of its signature whirring noise, the figure arrived with little fanfare, leaving buyers unsure of its purpose. The sole redeeming feature was its ability to stand upright without assistance—a rare trait among its peers.
4 Transformers—Beast Machines Silverbolt
The Transformers franchise excels at turning seemingly dull concepts into cool collectibles—a tape recorder that transforms into a robot, for instance. Occasionally, however, the line stumbles, and Silverbolt’s Beast Machines incarnation is a textbook case.
Originally a proud Fuzor—a half‑wolf, half‑eagle hybrid from the Beast Wars cartoon—Silverbolt commanded respect with his fierce design and poetic swagger. In the Beast Machines follow‑up, though, he was reduced to a garish, cartoon‑parrot‑like figure. In robot mode his head was tiny and shapeless, his paws oversized, and his sword was a translucent wing‑shaped blade. The animal mode was even more disastrous: a vomit‑colored cockatoo with arms that resembled the last spicy wing in a bucket.
3 Dune Sandworm
The original Dune film, directed by David Lynch, promised a sci‑fi epic that could rival Star Wars, but it flopped commercially. Its accompanying toy line, produced by LJN—renowned for subpar figures and even worse video games—reflected that misstep.
The sandworm figure was a long, bendable plastic tube meant to mimic the colossal creature that roams Arrakis. Its design was so outlandish that it earned a dubious honor as the second‑most phallic‑shaped toy ever made, trailing only the infamous ET finger light. The sheer audacity of releasing such a grotesque plaything left collectors both bewildered and amused.
2 Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves—Friar Tuck
Cost‑saving measures often lead toy makers to recycle existing molds, as seen when He‑Man’s Battle Cat was originally a cast from the Big Jim line. Kenner employed the same trick for the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves line, reusing molds rather than creating fresh sculpts.
Robin himself was recast from a Green Arrow figure from the DC Superpowers series, while a treetop playset was a repurposed Ewok hideout. The most egregious case involved the iconic Star Wars Gamorrean Guard: Kenner simply swapped its head for a rotund, inebriated monk and marketed it as Friar Tuck. The result was a lackluster figure of a minor movie character who never received a dedicated mold.
1 Indiana Jones—German Mechanic
When the Indiana Jones trilogy rolled out, Kenner—also behind the Star Wars toys—seized the licensing opportunity, expecting a flood of adventure‑themed figures. While Indy himself sold well, the supporting cast struggled to capture imaginations.
Enter the German Mechanic, a fleeting antagonist from Raiders of the Lost Ark who meets his demise after a plane propeller slices him apart. The figure’s design turned the actor’s wiry physique into a flabby, balding middle‑aged man who appears to have discarded his shirt. This uninspired reinterpretation left kids uninterested and contributed to the line’s quick fade.