Christmas has already raced past, which means that you’ve probably already begun the obligatory handful of days with your extended family. You’ve ‘been there and done that’ so many times you could literally write the script of what’s going to happen each year – including the usual cast of characters who never fail to make a repeat performance of what they did last year. In this roundup of 10 annoying people, we’ll shine a light on each of those familiar faces that can turn a cozy holiday into a chaotic circus.
10 Annoying People Who Ruin Christmas
1 The Pouter
The pouter is usually a child under ten, but occasionally it’s an emotionally stunted, spoiled adult. This individual spends the entire evening impatiently waiting for present‑opening time and complains about every event that precedes it. “Can’t we open presents before dinner?” he’ll beg. When his request is denied, he slumps into the chair farthest from the action, glaring at his plate as if it were something even a prisoner would reject. When the moment finally arrives, don’t assume a gift will magically lift his spirits—whatever he receives is invariably a disappointment or not as pricey as what someone else got.
2 The Inebriator
The Inebriator may sound like a superhero, but he’s usually just an uncle who can’t survive any family function without a steady stream of booze. If he doesn’t arrive tipsy, he’ll make a beeline for the garage, kitchen, or wherever the family stores the hard stuff. Before long he’s slurring, standing uncomfortably close, and doling out tight hugs to anyone—yes, even prudish Great Aunt Marge. Some families try a “dry” holiday, but a little prohibition is no match for his determination; he’ll hide a flask in a soda cup or sneak a bottle into the pantry, never tackling the season without his liquid comfort.
3 The Over‑Doer
The over‑doer is typically the housewife‑type who takes every domestic chore to an extreme. She revels in Christmas because it’s the one time of year when her obsessions—crafting, baking, homemade gifts—can be unleashed simultaneously and with ferocious fervor. Her gift‑wrapping looks like a Macy’s window display, her presents are hand‑crafted, and she’d rather be caught dead than seen carrying a plain tin of sugar cookies. Guests ooo and ahhh over her offerings, and she smiles dismissively as if it were no big deal. If you live with the over‑doer, you know she pulled an all‑nighter, sent her husband out multiple times after midnight to fetch something she suddenly decided she needed—like striped ribbon for a reindeer’s neck because plain ribbon just wouldn’t cut it.
4 The Cheapskate
If your extended family has grown so large that buying a gift for everyone is impractical, you may have collectively decided to “draw names,” meaning each person only has to buy one present for the person whose name they picked. This can work well, as you usually end up with a single thoughtful gift instead of fifteen pieces of cheap junk. That is, of course, unless the cheapskate picks your name. The cheapskate doesn’t see the draw as an opportunity to give something personal; instead, he thinks, “I only have to buy ONE gift!” He then scurries to the dollar store and emerges with a paperweight, a hacky sack, or an extra‑large root‑beer mug. You may feel like an ingrate, but c’mon—why bother?
5 The High‑Strung Host
The most high‑strung person at the gathering is always the mother or hostess – and if she’s covering both roles, expect her to be doubly high‑strung. She wants the evening to flow perfectly, often trying to recreate a Hallmark Christmas scene. She dictates where everyone sits, who opens which present, and how to pose for photos. No one can eat, even if the food is already on the table and getting cold, until your undependable brother Rob shows up. If Rob never appears (there’s an 87% chance he won’t), she’ll get teary‑eyed yet still concoct an excuse for him. If Rob does stop by, there’s still a 50% chance she’ll have a mental breakdown at some point, leaving everyone white‑knuckling their chairs and choosing words carefully while she’s in the room.
6 The Indifferent
Teenagers and men usually take on the role of the indifferent. They could be at the party or not – they don’t care. What do they want for Christmas? Nothing. “Whatever” is their answer to every question, and you could tell them the turkey’s burnt, Christmas is cancelled, or that long‑lost cousin Jeremy just arrived, and they’ll still stay glued to the couch. Their lack of enthusiasm makes them a constant background hum that never quite fades.
7 The Self‑Righteous
The self‑righteous, which could be a whole family, love to tell everyone how they kept “Jesus in the season” this year. They proudly announce their disapproval of the commercialization of Christmas and explain why they’re giving gifts of service instead of store‑bought presents (you’d better hope they didn’t pick your name). You feel bad for their kids because you know Santa won’t visit their house, and despite the heavy indoctrination, every child wants a real present for Christmas.
8 The New Girlfriend/Boyfriend
No matter how many years pass, someone in the family is at the age where they want to bring the new boyfriend or girlfriend to the festivities. This is exciting for the couple, but for everyone else it’s a pain in the butt, as it means someone has to monitor the inebriator all night to ensure he doesn’t fondle the new person, while everyone else must behave impeccably to avoid sending the high‑strung mother into a tirade that scares off the newbie. There’s also the awkward question of whether to get this person a gift. It would be strange if everyone else is opening presents and the newcomer has nothing under the tree, yet you know nothing about their tastes.
9 The Bitter
Like the self‑righteous, the bitter are fed‑up with the commercialization of Christmas, but instead of channeling their energy toward good, they simply hate the whole holiday. Their complaining starts right after Halloween when they see Christmas decorations for sale. “I can’t believe it!” they grumble. “Christmas decorations already! Whatever happened to Thanksgiving?” If it weren’t for those living in their household, they swear they wouldn’t even have a tree, and they make sure all decorations come down promptly on Dec. 26.
10 The I‑Can’t‑Wait‑to‑Get‑Out‑of‑Here
Deep down, the I‑can’t‑wait‑to‑get‑out‑of‑here individual is much like the indifferent (and wishes he could be the inebriator), only he’s polite enough to at least fake interest in the festivities. You’ll notice him casually pushing activities along, trying to expedite the evening. While everyone else enjoys dinner conversation, he’ll say, “Sooo, let’s get this present thing started.” Once the gifts are unwrapped and paper littered the floor, he’ll be the first to grab the trash bag and start picking up the gift‑giving carnage. It looks like he’s being helpful, but he’s really trying to clean up so the party can end. He’s always the first to leave, gathering his kids and newly acquired presents with haste, not caring if he leaves anyone behind.
So there you have it—the ten most notorious holiday party crashers. Knowing their quirks can help you navigate the season with a smile, a plan, and maybe a spare earplug or two.